Indlela yokufumana ulwimi oluqhelekileyo kunye namadoda? Mhlawumbi, kufuneka ufunde ukuqonda. Enyanisweni, akunzima njengoko kubonakala kuqala. Impazamo enkulu yamantombazana kukuba baqikelela ukuba ukuqonda kunye neengqondo zabantu zifana nezo zabo. Oku kungalunganga ngokukodwa. Abafana baqonda kwaye bayaqonda ukuba ihlabathi lihluke ngokupheleleyo. Ukuba ngaba besifazana, okokuqala, bakhokelwa yimvakalelo, ke abantu bacinga ngeengcamango kunye nengqiqo. Ukuba umfazi uzama ukwenza umntu, ukuthembela kuye kunye nemizwa yakhe, ngokusoloko kuvela ukuba uziphatha njengebhokisi elingenakukhumbuza, kwaye unjengowesifazane ohlambalaza. Ukuze ungenzi umquzulwano, intombazana kufuneka ikhumbule ukuba abafana kaninzi abayithandi xa baxolisa kwaye abazi ukuba bazibuhlungu njani. Bafuna indlela engqiqweni yokuphuma kwimeko yabo, kwaye ungashiyi indawo yokuvakalelwa. Abafana abaqondi ukuba kutheni ikhulu kangangexesha ukuba babuze ukuba izinto ziphi, ooh kunye, ukuba awukwazi ukwenza nantoni na. Kwakhona, abayi kuze bahlale kunye nawe, bathethe enye ingxaki ezilikhulu, baxubushe ngeenkcukacha zabo iinkcukacha, ngaphandle kokuzama ngexesha elifanayo, ukufuna isisombululo esinengqiqo. Kufuneka uhlale ukhumbule oku ukuze ufumane ulwimi oluqhelekileyo kunye nabafana. Ukongezelela, abantu abaselula abayithandi ezininzi zeemxholo ezikhuthaza amantombazana. Ngona abafana abanesiterethi nabasemgangathweni abakwazi ukuthetha iiyure ezintathu malunga nezambatho kunye neziqhumiso. Ukuba ufuna ukuthetha ngeenyawo ezilinganayo, unomdla kwiikhomputha, imoto kunye nemidlalo. Kuba amadoda ezi zihloko ziyakwazi ukuxoxa ngeentsuku ekupheleni.
Ukuba ufuna ukuba ngabahlobo kunye nabafana, fundani ukuyiqonda kwaye uyamkele njengoko kubonwa ngabanye abameli besilisa. Kodwa zama ukuziphatha ukuze bahlale bekhumbula: nangona ukuba ungumhlobo, okufanayo, kwindawo yokuqala, uhlale usintombazana. Kungenxa yoko, kufuneka uxhase amadoda kwizinto zokuzilibazisa kunye neengxoxo, kodwa ukuba ungaguquki kumntu, emva koko, kunokwenzeka ukuba kwezinye zazo uya kuthanda.
Ukuze ukwazi ukuqonda abafana, udinga ubuncinci ukuba ukwazi i-psychology yabo. Ungalokothi ukhohlwe ukuba abantu abaselula bazama ukubonakala bebhetele kwaye banamaqondo kunokuba basenjalo. Ngaphambi komnye nomnye, baya kuhlala bengathembekanga ngokupheleleyo, bethetha ngeempumelelo zabo kunye nokuphumelela. Kwaye umhlobo wenene kuphela unokunyanzelisa ukuba asuse imaski kwaye ubonise umphefumlo wakho. Ungalokothi ufune ukubeka uxinzelelo kumadoda uze ubanyanzele into into yokukholisa. Abantu abaselula mabazivumele inyaniso.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, bazenza ngathi ezi zigqibo zabo kwaye akukho nto enokuyenza ngayo. Kungcono ukuxhasa le ngqungquthela, kuba abantu abaselula bayacasulwa xa beqala ukukhangela umfanekiso wabo wokuzimela kunye nokupholisa. Ukuze ufezekise ukuqonda, kufuneka uphulaphule kwaye ukhangele. Ukuba uyigcina ngokucophelele le ndoda, unokuqonda ngokukhawuleza kwiimeko apho unokunyaniseka ngokupheleleyo, kwaye xa kungcono ukuba ungayifaki inyaniso kuye. Khumbula oko abantu abaselula abangayithandiyo xa bacinezelwe imibuzo kunye nemibuzo. Kufuneka ucacise ukuba unokuphulaphula, uncede kwaye uncedise nayiphi na imeko. Ukuba umntu uyaqiniseka ngale nto, uya kuhlala ecela uncedo, kungekudala okanye kamva, kodwa uya kuza ngokuqinisekileyo. Emva koko ungathetha naye kwaye uphakamise isisombululo kwingxaki. Makhe nje ningathethi ngokungapheliyo malunga nobunzima behlabathi kunye neengxaki ezibuhlungu. Mamela nje ibali elipheleleyo ngaphandle kokuphazamisa kwaye unike iingcebiso ezakhayo nezifanelekileyo. Musa ukugxininisa kwaye ungalindeli ukuba loo mntu uyavumelana nayo yonke into. Kodwa yazi ukuba uya kuqwalasela amagama akho kwaye uya kusebenzisa olu lwazi xa enza izigqibo.
Kwiinkampani zamadoda, amantombazana ahlala exoxwa ngaso. Ukuba ufuna ukuba "ngokwakho", kufuneka uqonde oku kunye nenkxaso, okanye ubuncinane, zilahle phantsi. Kukho amantombazana anesimo sengqondo, ngoko ke iingxoxo zixhaswa ngenzondelelo kunye nomdla. Enyanisweni, kuyinto elula kakhulu, kuba xa uthetha ngabanye besetyhini unokufunda uninzi olunomdla kwaye luncedo kuwe. Ngako oko, akufanelekanga ukunyanzela imilomo yakho kwaye ubonise "fi" yakho xa abafana baphinda bathatha umntu ukuba baxoxe. Okokuqala, abayiqondi kakuhle into eyenzekayo kwaye bayeke ukugxeka phambi kwakho. Kungcono ukuthatha yonke into inikwe amandla kwaye uzama ukufunda into encedo.
Akunabo bonke abantombazana abanokufumana ulwimi olufanayo kunye nabafana. Othandekayo yinto enye, kodwa inkampani yendoda iyinto enye. Musa ukucaphukisa ngenxa yoko, kuba kulula ukuba abanye bathethe nabantombazana, kunye nabanye - kunye namadoda. Akukho nto ihlawulelwayo. Yonke into incike kuphela kwimvelo, ingqondo kunye nesimo salo mfazi ngamnye. Wonke umntu unokufumana ulwimi olufanayo nomntu othandekayo, ngenxa yokuba uthando lusenza sibukele, sidibanise, sifunde kwaye sidibanise. Kodwa ukuba ufuna ukuba ngabahlobo nabantu abancinci, funda kwiinkampani zabo ukuba babe ncinane. Abafana bayayixabisa loo nto mbazana eqondayo kwaye, ngandlela-thile, yabelana ngombono kodwa ingachaza kwaye ichaze yonke into esekelwe kwintetho yabesifazane kwimeko ethile. Kukho iinkampani ezininzi apho phakathi kwamadoda amaninzi kukho intombazana enye enxibayo ezandleni zabo kwaye ngexesha elifanayo cinga ngomhlobo wabo omhle. Akunakudingi ukugxininisa ngokungathandabuzekiyo ukulala kwabo besini, nangona ngokuqinisekileyo akufanelekanga ukulibala. Zama ukuba yendalo. Ukuba iimbono zabantu, iingxoxo kunye neengcamango zihambelani ngokuvisisana nehlabathi, akumele uzinyanzele.
Ukuba uthanda ukuthetha nabantu abatsha, ngoko, ungalokothi ukhohlwe ukuba ungumfazi, oku kuthetha ukuhlakanipha. Ngosizo lwenu nengqondo yakho, unokuqonda nawuphi na umntu, mncedise kwaye umenze ube ngumhlobo wakho omhle. Kwaye, mhlawumbi, kwaye uyathandwa. Khawukhumbule nje kule nto uze uhlale ufumana ulwimi oluqhelekileyo kunye nabafana.