Ibhinqa elungileyo lohlobo oluthile luthando luyinto engumntu ongeyonto kwaye engabonakaliyo, echazwe kakuhle ngamagama, kwimizimba.
Iipragmatists and pessimists abakholelwa othandweni nonke, bayaqiniseka ukuba ibhinqa elungileyo lomntu ongafezekanga alikho kwimvelo. Buza ukuba yini ekhuthaza ubudlelwane phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi, baya kukuxelela ngokuziphendukela kwemvelo, umzabalazo wabesilisa kubafazi okanye amabhinqa kwindoda. Kwimbali yabo kuya kuba nezinto eziphathekayo eziphathekayo kwaye akukho mvakalelo.
Inyaniso, njengesiqhelo, iphakathi phakathi kwezi mbono ezigqithiseleyo. Kwaye wonke umntu unelungelo lokuhlangabeza umgangatho wakhe, kakuhle, okanye umfazi ophelileyo. Yintoni oyifunayo ukwenza oku? Kufuneka kuphela ukuqonda uhlobo lothando kunye nolwalamano phakathi kwendoda nomfazi.
Ukuba sisondela ekufundeni uthando ngempembelelo enempilo, ngaphandle kokungathembeki ngokweqile okanye inzondelelo, oko kubonakala ukuba uthando ekuqaleni kwanezizathu ezinengqiqo. Asiyithandi nantoni na kuqala. Injongo yethu yendoda okanye ibhinqa ikhona entloko yethu okanye entliziyweni yethu. Kwaye kulungile ukuba kuhambisana kwaye kuyinyani. Ngomzuzu wokudibana nomntu ofana nolo mhle, sinokufumana into ebizwa ngokuba yintando okanye uthando ukujonga kuqala.
Ukuze uqonde ukuba ngubani oza kuba ngumfazi ofanelekayo kumntu ongeyena mhle, kubalulekile ukujonga kwixesha lakhe elidlulileyo. Nangona okwangoku itafile yekhofi yomntu onjalo ihleli ngamaphephancwadi ngobumnandi obuhle kwi-cover, akufanele uzincwine. Into efanelekileyo yowesifazane, epapashwa ngamaphephancwadi, ayidla ngokuhambelana neyona nto efanelekileyo entloko yendoda. Amadoda angakhuselekanga kunye nabangaphantsi kwamandla angenza ubuhle bawo obuhle kumaphephancwadi. Kwiimeko ezininzi, ibhinqa elungileyo lendoda ethile likude neendawo eziqhelekileyo ezamkelweyo.
Nangona umhlobo wakho okanye umhlobo wakho uthi ufuna ukutshata intombazana egama linguLa Pamela Anderson, musa ukumgxotha ukuba akholelwe. Ekhanda lakhe unako ukuhlala ngokuqinileyo nomfanekiso wesifazane ekwesikwere sokwakhiwa, ngeenwele ezimfutshane ezinwele zakhe ezimnyama. Into eyenzekayo kukuba ibhinqa lenziwa ngumntu entloko yakhe malunga ne-4-5 ubudala, iyalungelelanisa ngokugqithiseleyo, kwaye ibuye ishintshwe ebusheni. Emva koko, kunzima ukutshintsha eli lihle. Akukho manqaku okanye iingcebiso ezivela kubahlobo apha abayi kunceda. Kwaye nabazali abayi kukwazi ukungenelela. Emva koko, engazi, umntu onjalo sele eyazi kakuhle uhlobo lunikazi eliyidingayo.
Kutheni iinjongo zabafazi ziqine kangaka? Makhe siqwalasele ngokubanzi Ngethuba lokuqala inkwenkwe iyaziqonda ukuba yindoda phakathi kweminyaka eyi-3 no-5. USigmund Freud wabiza le nqanaba isigaba se-Oedipus. Igama lisekelwe kwingqungquthela ka-Oedipus, owabulala uyise ukuze atshade nonina. Into yokuqala yokuthanda inkwenkwe idla ngokuba ngumama wakhe, ugogo okanye umntanina, ukuba kunye nonina kulo nyaka uyazibona engabalulekanga. Uqala ukuqonda ukungafani kwakhe okwehlukile kwisini esahlukileyo kwaye ngokokuqala ngethuba ukuva iimvakalelo zentengo kumfazi. Kodwa ekubeni inkwenkwe eneminyaka emihlanu inomncintiswano oqinileyo ngendlela yobawo okanye utatomkhulu, inkwenkwe ibhekene nengxaki enkulu. Uqala ukuba nomona kunina, ezinye iintsana zichanekile kwaye zithi zifuna ukuba uyise ufe, okanye bafuna ukumbulala ukuze atshate nonina. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, eli nqanaba leengxabano zengqondo kumfazi udlula, kwaye umntwana uyakhula. Nangona kunjalo, entlokweni yakhe, imbono yowesifazane ococekileyo uqinile. Ngokuqhelekileyo yi-5-6 yeyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu, iimpawu ezisisiseko zomama okanye ugogo. UFrud wabiza le mimpawu emininzi "ukulungiswa kwangundoqo." Le yongqamlezo, enobumba obunemibala obunemibala, ebusweni obuthathaka kakhulu kwaye ayixhomekeke kulungiso.
Kodwa nangona esemncinane, le nkwenkwe ifumana ithuba lesibini lokuqwalasela kwakhona imbono yakhe malunga nenjongo yowesifazane. Udibana nothando lwakhe lokuqala, oludla ngokuphindaphinda lube luhluke ngokupheleleyo kumama. Okanye unomgangatho oqaqambileyo, ongenako umama. Emva koko lo mgangatho omtsha ugqiba uluhlu lwangaphambili lweempawu, okanye ubeka endaweni yeempawu ezidala kunye nezo ezintsha. Olu luhlu olutshintshile lwemisebenzi yowesifazane ococekileyo, oguqulwa ebusheni, uSigmund Freud obizwa ngokuba "ukulungiswa kwesibini."
Ngoko kuvela ukuba umntu ongaphelele, uhlala efanelekileyo yowesifazane. Ngokuqhelekileyo akanalo nantoni na imifanekiso yobuhle kwi-screen yesikrini. Kwaye kwaye ngaphandle, kunye nokuziphatha, into enjalo isondele kakhulu kumanani okwenyani evela kwindalo yomntu. Yingakho phantse elowo umntu unelungelo lokufumana isiqingatha sakhe, esiya kuba yinto enqwenelekayo kakhulu, uluhlu oluthandwa kakhulu lwangaphandle kunye noluntu lwangumfazi ofanelekileyo.