Ibinzana elithi "umfazi akakhokhwa nantoni na kunoma ubani" ihlala ibinzana kuphela, lizwakala ngokufana nokuhlambalaza, nokuphuka ngokuphathelele ubomi bemihla ngemihla, apho iimeko ezininzi zifuneka kwaye kufuneka. Ukuqinisa le nkcazo, ndifuna ukukhumbula "incwadi yesiphathi-mkhosi", ekhutshwe kwii-60 zokuqala. Namhlanje, ukufundwa kwaso kwabasetyhini banamhlanje kuya kubangela ubuncinane, kuba ngaphezu kwelokuba kukho iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokuqhuba ubomi nobomi ngokubanzi, phantse kwiphepha ngalinye kukho "umfazi onyanzelekile" kwaye "kufanele". Imisebenzi yomyeni iguquke ibe yincinci, kwaye ixhala ngakumbi kunento ebalulekileyo, kunokulula ubomi bemihla ngemihla. Kwaye kuvela kwiintlobo ezinjalo ubomi bethu budalwa ngokubanzi.
Ngoko, makhe sicinge, ngokwenene, ibhinqa limele linyamekele umyeni wayo, okanye ngaba yintsalela yolu hlobo lwexesha elidlulileyo?
Umfazi njengoko yena
Mhlawumbi, inzululwazi kunye neteknoloji kusekude ekudaleni i-apparatus, leyo ekusebenziseni kwayo ingaphaya komfazi. Siyakwazi ukwenza izinto eziliwaka kunye neyodwa ngosuku, ngelixa sifumana ixesha lokuba wonke umntu kunye nayo yonke into, ukufundisa, ukuphatha, ukulungiselela, ukuhlambulula, ukuhlamba, ukuphulaphula, ukuthetha, ukusebenzela nokukhathazeka kwabo bonke abasondeleyo. Sisoloko sikhalaza malunga nokusilela kwexesha lethu, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo nganye ngomzuzu sithatha into encedo. Ngesizathu esithile, uninzi lwabantwana luya kukhwankqiswa xa kufuneka bahlale kunye noyise iintsuku ezimbalwa, kwaye kule meko, upapa akaxhatshazi. Kwaye nantoni na into enomdla, unokuva umbuzo ofanayo kumacala omabini: "Yintoni endiyenzayo na?" Nangona ucinga ngokucacileyo, uhlala kunye kunye kwaye ukhuliswe kunye, ngoko kutheni oku kwenzeka? Impendulo ilula: "Lo ngubaba (indoda, indoda), kunye nomama (umfazi, umfazi) kufuneka ...". Kwaye sikwazi ukunyamezela oku, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha siyancwina ngolu xhomekeke kuthi, kodwa maxa wambi sifuna ukutshintsha into ethile, nangona inzondelelo enjalo ihamba ngokukhawuleza, ibe yinto yokuphila imihla ngemihla kunye nezenzo.
Ukuqwalasela ngobomi obuqhelekileyo bomfazi wesilinganiso esiphakathi kokuqala ukuya ekugqibeleni, unokufumana ukuphikisana okukhulu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, esemncinci, intombazana evela kumama ivalele imiyalelo, injongo yayo engeyiyo iphinda iphinde iphinde iphinde iphindwe ngokunyanisekileyo kumama wayo, "xa umyeni wakhe engabaleki," ithatha yonke into kuye. Ngelo xesha, umntwana ubona umfanekiso weentsapho kunye kwaye uyangenisa iziseko zokuziphatha. Ukuba sakhulile, intombazana sele ifumana inkululeko yokuzikhethela kunye nesenzo, kodwa ngesizathu esithile sibuyela kulokho, ngaphandle kokuzama ukutshintsha nantoni na. Ngaba nathi singakwazi ukubeka zonke ezi nkxalabo, iingxaki kunye nemisebenzi yasendlini ngathi nje ngokuba siyithandayo? Okanye yintoni eqhubayo xa sizibiza ngokuba yizidalwa ezinobuthakathaka, kwaye ngelo xesha sibeka phezu kwamagxa ethu imithwalo enzima. Makhe sicinge ngeenjini zethu, ngamanye amaxesha nangona kungadingekile, ukucima.
Uthando
Ngokuphathelele ukunakekela umyeni wakhe, lo mfazi ukhokelwa yinto enye kuphela-uthando. Le ngqondo eqaqambileyo ukusuka kwiintsuku zokuqala isishukumisela ukuba sithathe lonke uxanduva lwethu, sizama ukukhusela othandekayo nothando lwabo bonke ubunzima. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza inzondelelo leyo iwela yonke imida, kwaye ngenxa yoko, umyeni osendlwini udla ukufunyanwa kwiphepha eliphambili, okanye ukubandakanyeka kwimiba yakhe, kwaye umfazi uqhekeke kuwo onke macala. Ngaba sasicinga ubomi bentsapho size sinakekele umyeni wethu? Bambalwa abantu abaya kuphendula ewe.
Esinye isizathu soluhlu loxanduva luyinkqubo yobomi bentsapho. I-pier, umfazi kufanele asebenze yonke into ejikeleze indlu kwaye akhulise abantwana, umyeni wakhe ukuya emsebenzini, ngokuhlwa wonke umntu uyaqiniseka ukuba aqokelele isidlo esishushu kwaye konke kulungile, kuqaqambile kwaye kuqaqambile, njengamabhayisikobho endala. Kodwa ubomi ngokuphindaphindiweyo kuninzi, kwaye loo ntsapho kufuneka usebenze nzima. Kwaye ngenxa yesizathu esithile, abafazi bafuna ukuthatha lo msebenzi, belibale ukuba intsapho ibandakanya ubuncinane abantu ababini kunye nendlela yokuphila kufuneka ihlulwe ibe zibini. Kodwa bambalwa abantu abasusela kwimini yokuqala yomtshato banqumle ukusasazwa okunjalo. Ngoko kuvela ukuba umfazi onenjongo egqibeleleyo uyayinyamekela indoda yakhe. Yena, ukufumana kwizandla zothando unina ezandleni zomfazi wakhe, akudingeki enze nantoni na malunga nendlu, kwaye umfazi akaceli. Yile ndlela esiphila ngayo nesilinki esibomvu, kwaye xa sitshabalalisa, kuphelile ukuba senze kwaye sitshintshe into.
Okanye mhlawumbi kunye?
Ubulungiselele ubomi bentsapho - xa kungekhona nje umfazi onenkathalo ngomyeni wakhe, kodwa ngelo xesha uvakalelwa ngokukhawuleza. Iyakwazi ukuzibonakalisa kumancinci, kodwa kulula kakhulu ukuba umfazi aphile. Kukulungele ukuqhelisa umyeni wakho ekulawuleni ngokubambisana ubomi bemihla ngemihla yokuqala yomtshato, kuba ngoko imithetho eqinisiweyo iyanzima kakhulu ukutshintsha.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, oko kubomi kwenzeka enye indlela, xa umyeni eba ngumnikazi obalaseleyo endlwini, kwaye umfazi okwangoku wenza umsebenzi, okanye akenzanga nto. Kodwa oku kungaphezulu kokulawula. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kuqhelekile ukuba abafazi banxungule malunga nokuba umyeni uyadla oko akugqobileyo, xa uya kuba, indlela aziva ngayo, kwaye ngexesha elifanayo ulindele ukubuyela kwindawo ethile emphefumlweni wakhe kwaye uqhubeke nokukhathalela, nangona kungabikho.
Ngoko ke, bafazi abathandekayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba unomdla ongeyonto ngokwemvelo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ungafuni ukukhusela ingxaki yakho kuyo yonke ingxaki yasekhaya, cinga ngoobani owufuna kwikamva, omnye umntwana okanye umlingane onokuthembela nakweyiphi na imeko, ukufumana inkxaso kunye nokunceda kuyo.
Ndiyicinga ukuba ininzi, ngenene, ingafuna ukubonelela ngenkxaso kumfazi, ngoko ungayichitha ixesha ngaphandle kweenkulungwane zezizathu zokuzibongela, kutheni engenako. Khumbula, ukuba unako, ngoko kutheni ongenakho omnye umntu? Ukuba ulawula ukuba ngumfazi, unina, umqeshwa kunye nenkosikazi, ungafuna ngokukhuselekileyo ukuba iqabane liwenze iindima ezifanayo. Ngaloo ndlela ke ukunyamekela kwakho kuya kuxabiswa ngesidima.