Ziziphi iimpazamo eziqhelekileyo zabasetyhini ngexesha lokudlala ngothando? Okokuqala, oku kulandelwayo. Umnqweno onamandla wowesifazane ofana nomntu, ngenxa yoko uya kugxotha indoda. Ngako oko, kubalulekile ukudlala ngothando. Kwaye kuthetha ukudlala ngamagama. Ukuba uyayifaka ngokufanelekileyo isiluleko, yenza ingqiqo kuwo, unomdla kumntu uze umdwebe. Menze acinge ngento oyiyo ngokwenene. Makhe acinge ngakuwe ebusuku, ecinga ngezinto ezenzeka entloko yakho. Yahluke: namhlanje udlala naye, kusasa ushushu kwaye ude naye, ngosuku olulandelayo awubonakali kuyo yonke inkampani yakhe. Iintlanzi, zibukeka, zibukeka kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, amazwi aya kuphucula ubuhlobo bakho, intliziyo kunye nokukhohlisa intando kunye namaphupha kwihlabathi.
Into into yokuba isenzo, izibonakaliso ezingabonakaliyo vumela ukuba umntu aqonde ukuba uyamtsala, ukuba uyamfuna, kwaye ngamazwi - okuchasene ngqo. Ngoko kuvela ukuba "mhlawumbi" - yile mpendulo yakho. Lo mdlalo umdla kwaye unomdla kakhulu. Uvusa umnqweno kumntu ukuba wazi kangcono, ukuqonda oko, uvela kuwe. Unomdla kuye. Kodwa, akusiwo onke amabhinqa ayazi kakuhle kwaye akahambisani nomntu. Kubalulekile ukuba ukwazi ukwenza konke ngexesha kunye nendawo.
Ngoko ke, iimpazamo eziqhelekileyo zabasetyhini ngexesha lokudlala ngothando, azinjalo, kodwa ke, zinento ebaluleke kakhulu, ekufuneka ingavunyelwe. Impembelelo ephambili kunye eyona nto ixhaphakileyo kukuba ngowokuqala ukuthetha nomntu kumqonda ukuba ufuna yena ngokwenyama. Ibhinqa elibhalileyo ebusweni bakhe lokuba ulungele ukulala nomntu wokuqala endleleni, kwaye engazange abe nesihawu kuye nabani na ixesha elide kwizesondo ezinamandla. Abaninzi babo bangasebenzisa oku. Ukususela apho ukuzithemba kwintombazana kuya kuhla. Abafazi abancinci bahlala bejonge loo ndoda ngamehlo elambileyo. Ngokwemvelo, umnqweno wokuba sisondele kumntu, ukuthandwa kuyaqondakala, kodwa akukufanelekanga kwikamva lokonwaba ukuya kwindoda kunye nomntu.
Kukho icebiso eliqhelekileyo, indlela yokudlala nomntu: ukuqhuba ngeminwe yakho kwiglasi. Ewe, inokuba yinto enhle kakhulu, kodwa ungayidluli ngomdlalo. Cinga nje imeko, uhleli e-cafe yedwa etafileni, phambi kweglasi yewayini. Udlala ukudlala ngomnwe wakho emlenzeni, kwaye ujikeleze igumbi ngokujonga okulambileyo. Ekugqibeleni, uya kufumana isimemo sokuba uchithe ubusuku obuvela kumntu onobumba kunye no-hamovatogo. Ukuba ukhangele nje umntu, mhlawumbi kamva uza kukukhomba kwaye akuxoxe nabahlobo bakho kwaye kungekho konke ukwenzela ukumema ngosuku. Ngoko, sebenzisa ngokucophelela zonke iingcebiso ezintsha "indlela yokudlala nomntu ngokufanelekileyo." Kubhetele xa uhlala ulahla umfutshane umntu othanda wena, ngoxa unako ukubetha umlenze weglasi ngelixa uxoxisana nentombi okanye abahlobo. Kufanelekile ukuthetha ngakumbi, ukumomotheka kunye nokukhululeka, kunokuba kunzima, njengokuba kuhlolwa.
Ukuze ufunde indlela yokudlala kakuhle, kufuneka ufunde ukudlala umdlalo ngamehlo akho. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukunika umntu ukuba aqonde ukuba uyamhlula kwisihlwele. Ukuba ukhangeleka, jonga umdla, khangela kuyo ukuya esihlalweni, itafile, izindonga, kwaye xa usijonga kwakhona, ubambelele imizuzwana embalwa. Musa ukugxotha amehlo ejikelezayo malunga neento zonke ezikujikelezayo. Emva kwakho konke, ngoko ukhethiweyo wakho akayi kucinga ukuba unomdla kuye. Musa ukukhupha amehlo akho ngokukhawuleza, ukuba udibana neenyawo zakho! Khawujonge ixesha elide, unokwenza intloko yakho ibe yincinci kwaye uyamamangalisa ngokumangalisayo kwaye ngokumangalisayo. Kuya kumdla, mhlawumbi uya kufika kuwe! Yiba ngcono. Ungakhange ujonge le ndoda. Oku kuya kukuhlazisa, kwaye uya kukuqwalasela wena umntu okhubazekile. Akukho mntu uyayithanda xa bejonge kuye ebusweni.
Enye impazamo eqhelekileyo abaninzi abafazi besenza xa benomdla. Ukutsala ingqalelo kwisini esahlukileyo, siqala ukungahlambulukanga, sigqoke iimpahla ezimfutshane okanye ezinxibileyo, asiyibizo kwaye sisinakunqandwa, ngaloo ndlela siqhubela emgodini ngakumbi.
Kwakhona kubalulekile ukunyaniseka xa udibana nendoda. Ngaphandle koko, kwenzeka ntoni? Ukhawuleza entanyeni yakhe, ukhethe yena, unokuvuma kuphela okanye akunjalo. Kungcono xa amadoda ekhetha wena. Njani? Ewe, kulula kakhulu. Unokumhlangabeza ngengozi, uphuze ijusi phezu kwakhe, ungene kwigumbi lamadoda, okanye udibanise naye umntu omaziyo. Emva koko, umfazi onelungelo akakwazi ukukhawuleza entanyeni yokuqala. Kuwe konke kwaye ngoko kulungile, ngoko ke umntu makakhethe (kodwa, wena owaziyo, yintoni na oyikhethile okanye yena). Amadoda angabantu abazingeli bemvelo, ngoko ke bona, kunye nabo, kufuneka bafezekise isimo sakho, ukuthatha inxaxheba kunye nokuqwalasela. Iindlela zokungazami ukudibana nomntu wamaphupha akho isigidi, khetha loo nto oyithandayo. Khumbula umgaqo obalulekileyo, xa udibana nomntu omtsha kufuneka ubencane naye ngomnye, ngenxa yokuba kukho intombi yakho enhle kunye neenyawo ezivela kwiindlebe kunye nesihlanu sesifuba esiseduze, zonke iinzame zakho ziya kuncitshiswa zibe zero. Lindela umzuzu ofanelekileyo ukucacisa ukuba unomdla kumntu.
Iimpazamo eziqhelekileyo ezenziwa ngabasetyhini ngexesha lokudlala ngothando: uxinzelelo. Musa ukubeka ingcinezelo enkulu kumntu. Kwanele ukumbonisa ukuba unomdla kuwe, akudingeki ukuba ube ngumdla. Olu xinzelelo lunokubangela umntu, kwaye uya kufumana umphumo ochaseneyo. Ukudlala ngomdlalo akusiyo umdlalo ngobusuku obunye, kodwa kubomi bakho bonke. Ukuba udinga umphumo othile kwisimo sesini ngobusuku obubodwa, ngoko yonke into iyaba lula kwaye iyaqondakala. Unokukhawuleza ukuba loo mntu azi ukuba ulungele ukulala naye. Ukuba, nangona kunjalo, unomdla kubudlelwane besikhathi eside, kuya kufuneka ube nesigulane, unomdla kwaye ulingele umntu okhethiweyo. Ngaloo ndlela, ukuba udlala ngeso sixhobo ukufumana umntu ixesha elide, ngoko kuyafaneleka ukuqwalasela ezi ngongoma ezilandelayo: makhe umntu azi ukuba unomdla kuwe, kodwa ngaphambi kokuba athole nantoni na kuya kufuneka anqobe kwaye azame ukukuncoma. Ukuze ufumane umphumo omuhle, makhe ndiwuqonde indoda kwisigaba sokuqala sobudlelwane bakho, ukuba kuwe izinto ezininzi ezithakazelisayo nezithakazelisayo zifihliweyo. Ukulula, ukungabonisi ngothando kuzakuvumela ekuqaleni kokunxibelelana kwakho ukuqonda ukuba uyayidinga le ndoda. Ukongeza, olu nxiwano luya kukuvumela ukuba naye ujabulele ukuthetha kwakho.
Ngoko, kunye neziseko zokuziphatha ngexesha lokudlala ngothando liqondakala. Yaye yintoni enokuphazamisa ukucinga komdlalo wakho ngamehlo akho? Ngoko ke, ukuba unxila, ungenangqondo, ungenasiphako, uhlambalazi, ungayihleka indlela, uhlekise umntu othobisayo, ngoko ucinga ukuba yonke imizamo yakho yokudukisa umntu iya kuqubuka. Nangona ukhulula ihlaya, usho ngokucaphukisa, kufuneka uvumele umntu azi ukuba ungamhlazisi, kodwa umemele kwi-duel. Kwakhona, ukudlala ngothando akuhambelani nokungahambelani, ukuthozama ngokweqile, ukungakhuselekanga. Esikhundleni somhlangano othakazelisayo, uya kufumana ingxoxo engathandekiyo, apho ufuna ukubalekela khona.
Ukuze kube ngumntu othakazelisayo phakathi kwendoda, kukufanelekile ukuthetha ngezo zinto ezithandayo. Nangona ungaqondi nto kwiimoto kunye nezithuthuthu, kufuneka uqale ukumbuza malunga nayo. Uya kukuvuyela into yonke into. Unokugubungela intloko yakho kwaye wenze umntu onomdla. Buza imibuzo emininzi, oku kuza kubonisa umntu onomdla kwizinto azithethayo, ukuba ungobuchule obukhulu kakhulu, ukuba uyayiphulaphula (kwaye oku kuncinane kakhulu ukuba uyazi ukwenza njani ngexesha lethu). Kubalulekile ukumisa uqhagamshelwano olunxibelelwano ngexesha le ncoko. Unokugubha ngephutha ihlombe lakhe, thintela isandla sakhe, ulungele ijacket yakhe, ugubungele iibhulo ezingqondweni. Kakade, akufanele uqhube kuye ngokukhawuleza, ukumbumbulula kunye nokuqhelekileyo. Kwanelungelo lokumchukumisa. Mxelele iincoma, kodwa kwakhona oku kusekwe kwinto ethile, kungekhona amagama angenanto. Amadoda aziva kakuhle ukuthoba. Ubuncwane obuninzi buya kumnxusa umntu, uya kucinga ukuba ulungele yonke into okanye nje ungenalo uluvo lwakho. Zama ukuba yintlandlolo kunye nobuqili ngexesha lenu ncoko, musa ukuthetha ngezicwangciso. Kubalulekile ukuba wena. Kwaye enye into ebalulekileyo, mncwangu! Xa unomomotheka ngakumbi, xa unomnxibelelwano kunye nawe. Kuphela kungekho emlonyeni wonke, kodwa nge-touch of mystery no-romanticism. Yiba nesibindi, zibe ngokwakho, kwaye uya kuphumelela!