Iindaba ngokubhekiselele ekulawuleni kwabasetyhini sele zizaliswe nge-oskomu. Indoda ephantsi kwesithende somfazi wayo ibonakala njengendlela yohlobo lwentsebenziswano kwintsapho. Le meko ingekho entsha. Ngethuba lokuqala komntu, ukuzalwa komzimba kwakuyindlela eqhelekileyo yoluntu. AmaAmazoni aMazwi ayenjalo avelwanga ngabalobi bamandulo. Amadoda angamaxesha amancinci angumhla wokubanjwa kwabafazi kwiinkqubo zemfundo. Kwaye kwi-kindergartens, nasezikolweni, nakwintsapho, imfundo yabafana iyenziwa ikakhulu ngabafazi. Amadoda anika ixesha elininzi lokusebenza kunye nokuzonwabisa. Kwaye oonyana banomdla kuphela. Amafutha emlilweni athululela inani elikhulu lomtshato kunye nokukhuliswa kwabantwana ngabomama abangatshatanga.
Nangona kunjalo, isizathu sokunyuka kokunyuka kwabasetyhini sibheke kwiimeko zabo. Abafazi behlala befuna ukukhululeka kunye nokuzimela kwamadoda. Baye batshintsha iingubo eziya kwiingqayi, iigebengu ezigqokekileyo, bathatha isisindo kunye nebhokisi. Abasetyhini baqhubeka behlala kwiindawo ezihamba phambili kwaye babe ngabanikazi bezoshishino zabo. Baye bezama iminyaka elikhulu ukuze baqinisekise ukuba akukho nto iphela yindoda. Ngaloo ndlela, ukukhululwa kwekhulu lokungabikho komthetho kwabangela imeko apho abafazi baba ngamadoda.
Ngaba kuhle? Ngokuqhelekileyo ukulawulwa kwendoda okanye ibhinqa kwintsapho ayinakunxulumene nolwalamano oluhambelanayo. Ngaphezu koko, le meko ayivuyisi uvuyo kumntu okanye kumfazi. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ngamanye amaxesha kukuhle ukuqonda ukubaluleka kwakho. Kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, kukho uxinzelelo oluqhubekayo loxanduva lwezigqibo ezenziwe ngabanye. Ayikho indlela yokubonisana nayo, hlalutya iimpazamo zakho, kwaye ekugqibeleni, "ukhale ngevest." Ukulawula okuqhubekayo kwindoda phezu komntu kuyonakalisa uhlamvu lwakhe, oluchaphazelayo inkonzo kunye nolwalamano lwentsapho. Kwaye uxinzelelo oluqhubekayo lunciphisa impilo yengqondo kunye nengqondo. Amadoda kule meko kwinto ethile. Ubomi babo buzolile kwaye bulinganiswe. Ukutshintshela ukuthobela kunye nokusebenza komsebenzi womtshato, baxoxisana ngezinto ezintathu "ezibalulekileyo" zodwa - ibhiya, i-sofa kunye neTV. Ewe, oku kuhlekisa, kodwa amadoda amaninzi ayazibona ngokwawo.
Ngendlela, ukulawulwa kwintombi ebudlelwaneni nomntu akuyiyo yonke into yokumnceda. Bonke bahlambulula, bahlamba, bahlamba, bavelisa abantwana. Basenaso ixesha lokudibana nabahlobo babo, kwaye umthandi akanamandla okwaneleyo. Kulo lonke uxanduva lokuzikhukhumeza: Ndiyakwenza konke ngokwam! Andiyidingi uncedo lomntu! Ndinamandla kwaye ndizimeleyo! Ngokuqhelekileyo, amadoda anesidima saso, amkela ngamabomu imigaqo yomdlalo, ukuze agweme ama-scandals kwaye acacise ubuhlobo.
Nangona kunjalo, umbuzo uvela, kutheni ubuhlobo obungafaniyo bunamandla kwaye buhlala njalo? Ngaba kulula ukusabalalisa, njengemikhumbi yolwandle? Ngokuphathelele amadoda, into elula. Mhlawumbi, kucocekile ukuba bafihle emva "kobuthathaka" amahlombe amabhinqa. Ngaphezulu kwabo ayithwalwanga ngumthwalo wemfanelo, ayixinzezeli isimo somntu ofumana imali kwintsapho. Bakhokelela ubomi obulungekileyo obulinganisiweyo. Yaye nendlela yokuchaza indlela abaziphatha ngayo yabasetyhini? Mhlawumbi, isizathu esona sizathu sokugcina ubudlelwane akusiyo umnqweno wokumisela. Nangona kunjalo kunye nokuzimela ngokuzimeleyo, nawuphi na umfazi oqhelekileyo ukwesaba ukuba uyedwa! Akafuni ukushiywa, akukho mntu ufuna umfazi. Ngoko ke, kwaye ivumela umyeni "ongaphantsi kweentloko" inkululeko. Vumelana, ukuba umphefumlo womntu phantsi kwesithende sowesifazane ungenakubekezeleka, uya kumshiya. I-serfdom ide iphelile.
Ndiyabulela amabali ngokubhekiselele ekulawulweni kwabasetyhini, umfanekiso ongalungileyo wosapho luyakha. Ukungabikho kobudlelwane obulinganayo kwintsapho akuyona into eqhelekileyo. Le meko yemicimbi ibonisa iingxaki ezinkulu. Naliphi na isilingo sokuhlala nokuqinisa ubukhokheli bakho, awukwazi ukwenza oku. Uya kuhlupheka ngenxa yalokhu, okokuqala, wena ngokwakho. Kodwa ngokukodwa - abantwana. Baye kwi-subconscious babamba umzekelo wokuziphatha kwabazali. Yaye xa bekhulile, baya kuqalisa ukuphinda iziphoso zabazali babo. Amantombazana aya kuba nzima ukuseka ubudlelwane kunye nabafana. Baya kuzama ukunyanzelisa izimvo zabo, bengayithobeli ingqalelo kwiingxoxo zomlingani. Kwaye amakhwenkwe angakhula abancinci kunye nobuthathaka. Khumbula ukuba intsapho kufuneka ibe liqela elinye! Ukuba omnye "umdlali" uyagula, imisebenzi yakhe imele ithatyathwe ngabanye kwaye iphume ukuphumelela kuyo nayiphi na ingxaki yobomi.