Inkcazo yeklasiki yokuxhomekeka komthando - xa umntu okanye intombazana ufuna ukuphelisa ulwalamano, kodwa akakwazi ukwenza kwaye nangona oko kwenzeka, ubomi bulahlekelwa nayiphi na intsingiselo kwaye iintsuku eziqaqambileyo ziza kubakho buhlungu.
Ngezantsi ziimpawu ezibonisa ukuxhomekeka kwakho kumntu othandekayo:
- Ubomi buba buhlungu, batshutshiswa ngokudandatheka, yonke into ibonakala ingenanto kwaye ayimfuneko;
- Uqala ukucinga ingxaki yomphefumlo wakho;
- Ulwalamano luyeka ukukunika uvuyo, kodwa ukuwaphula aluxhomeke ngokwaneleyo;
- Uthando luhlala luthiywa yinzondo kunye nenye into;
- Yonke into oyenzayo ngokuqinisekileyo kumthande wakho;
- Ubuhlobo obudala kunye nabahlobo yinto edlulileyo.
Ukuxhomekeka kokuxhomekeka kweemvakalelo kukuphazamisa ubudlelwane obuhle, kuba iqabane lakho lingafuneki uthando olugqithiseleyo kunye nokunyamekela kwakho. Umntu oxhomekeke kumlingane akanakukuqonda oku, kwaye uzame yonke indawo ukukholisa isiqingatha sesibini.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukudibanisa okunjalo kumabhinqa kukuxhomekeke kwabasetyhini, kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba amanye amadoda awaxhomekekanga kule nto. Ukuchithwa, ezinye izifo, ukukhubazeka ngokubanzi komzimba akusiyo yonke ingxaki ebonakalayo emva kokuxhomekeka kumntu othandekayo.
Kuvela phi ukuxhomekeka?
Kukho abantu abanomlutha wezilwalathiso ngaphezu kwabanye. Kutheni le nto ixhunyiwe?
Umlutha wokuxhomekeka kuxhomekeke ekuqaleni. Ngokuqhelekileyo unyaka nesiqingatha. Kungoku ngeli xesha umntwana e-psyche iingcamango ezicacileyo malunga nokuba ukusebenzisana kwakhe kunye nehlabathi elijikelezayo kunye nabantu abakuzungezile kufuneka kwenzeke. Abazali bazame konke okusemandleni ukudala eli lizwe kumntwana, oya kukwanelisa zonke iimfuno zakhe, kokutya okunomsoco, kunye nokuthuthuzela komzimba, ukunxibelelana, inkxaso yemoya nothando. Ukuba ngeli xesha umntwana engenakho into, uqala ukulamba ixesha lokuphila. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kwintsapho ehle kakhulu, umntwana ujongene nento yokuba akafumani ukuzaliseka ngokukhawuleza kweemfuno zakhe.
Umlingane onjalo uza kufumana umntu ubomi bakhe bonke onokumnika into engenayo ebuntwaneni bakhe: uthando olungenakuphikiswa kunye nokuqonda, ukuziqesha ngokuzimeleyo kweemfuno, ukuzaliseka kweenkwenkwezi, iminqweno njalonjalo. Kakade, oku akunakwenzeka. Ukungakwazi ukuba ngumntu ongenalo umsindo kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba, okukwazi ukuguqula uthando oluqinileyo.
Yintoni enokuyenza kunye nendlela yokuhlala uxhomekeke kuyo?
Ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuthetha ngeendlela eza kunceda ukunqoba ingxaki yengqondo, kuyafaneleka ukuthobela ingqalelo enye ingongoma ebalulekileyo.
Nangona kunzima kakhulu ukuthetha isifo esi sifo, ukuxhomekeka kweengqondo kuthathwa kunzima kakhulu kunokwenyama, kwaye umntu oye wakwazi ukujamelana nale meko ubuncinane kanye, akayi kuhlangana nayo.
Cima bonke oonxibelelwano
Ukuxhomekeke kwintliziyo sisifo, kwaye siyazi ukuba nayiphi na isifo sinokuphiliswa emva kokuba isisiseko saso sisuswe. Kususwe umthombo wokubandezeleka, bayeka ukubandezeleka. Akukho mihla yokuthandana yothando, iifowuni, isondo, i-correspondence kwiintanethi ezahlukeneyo zoluntu kunye nezinye. Kumele ususe bonke oonxibelelwano. Ngaphandle koko, ubeka ingozi ekusebenziseni into yokuba ukudibana kwakho kokubandezeleka kuya kuthatha ubuncinane enye inyanga. Nangona kunjalo, akufanele ukulindele ukuba uya kuphelisa ubuhlungu phakathi kweveki. Uninzi kunokwenzeka, kufuneka udibanise kwizinto eziya kuba zibi kakhulu.
Zenzele ngemisebenzi enomdla
Unokuzinikela kuyo nayiphi na into yokuzilibazisa, into ephambili kukuba kuthatha ixesha lakho kunye neengcamango zakho zi malunga naloo nto. Ngeentsuku zokuqala, kuyakufuneka ukuba uziphoqe ukwenza into, ekubeni ukulungelelaniswa kwiimeko ezinjalo kubaluleke kakhulu.
Uncedo lwengqondo
Ngamanye amaxesha ukungenelela kwengcali yeengqondo kunokufuneka. Le nto kukuba imbangela yobuncwane obuxhamlileyo buxhomekeke kwi-subconscious ejulile, kodwa bayayifumana imvelaphi ebuntwaneni obude. Abantu abaxhomekeke kunabo bonke abantu abanokungqalelo kwaye bathandekayo kunye nezidingo zabo azizange zihlangabezane.
Nangona kunjalo, unokukwazi ukufezekisa kakhulu. I-teknoloji esiyibonakalisayo iya kunceda ukuphucula imeko yakho kwaye ufunde indlela yokuphendula ngokwaneleyo iimvakalelo zakho kunye neminqweno.
- Cinga ukuxhamla kwakho kunye nomlingane. Ukhangeleka njani? Iyintoni na: i-aura, intambo, intambo, ray?
- Phula ngokudibanisa olu xhumo.
- Qaphela ukuba luphi uhlobo lokulahlekelwa kwakho - oko kukuthi, ukuba ubukho bakho bunjani bakho kunye nalo mntu. Iinzuzo zizinto zombini kunye neemvakalelo.
- Khawucinge ukuba unayo zonke izibonelelo. Kuphi enye into onokuyifumana? Zama ukufumana ubuncinane imithombo emithathu.
- Ngoku, qha ga mshelisa lo mfanekiso mhle. Sebenzisa uxhulumaniso olufanayo olukuxhamle kunye nomthandayo. Ukuba okwenu oku kuluhlu olubomvu, apha yonke into kufanele ibe yinto efanayo.
- Zidibanisa kunye nendlela yakho entsha. Ndive indlela enqabileyo ngayo ukuba zonke ezi zixhobo kwaye wabelane ngazo nabanye. Ngaloo ndlela uya kukwazi ukuqinisa unxibelelwano ngamathuba amatsha.
- Cinga malunga nokuba ungasebenzisa njani iimpawu zakho ezintsha. Ziza kuthintela njani ezi nguqu ebomini bakho? Yintoni oya kuyenza ngoku? Ngaloo xesha ubuhlobo bakho buya kukhula njani nenjongo yokuncedisa?
- Cinga uze ucwangcise ikamva lakho ngaphandle komlingane. Njalo qwalasela ezinye iindlela zokuphuhlisa iziganeko.
Xa ukuxhomekeka kwanyamalala, i-neurosis and manipulation iyanqanda ukukulandela. Ubuhlungu kunye nokulangazelela ukunyamalala, ininzi indawo ikhululiwe uthando lokwenene-ngaphandle kokubandezeleka, ukuxhalaba, ukuthotywa, ukudandatheka kunye nokuphefumula.