Ukuba sithi esinye isibini sinento engalunganga, ngoko sibonakala sigxininisa ukuba konke kulungile. Nangona konke oku kuqhutyelwa kwinqanaba elincinci kwaye kubonakala ngathi senza okulungileyo, kuba omnye umntu wenza impazamo. Kodwa ngokwenene akunjalo. Ubuncinane ngenxa yokuba sonke sithotyelwa kwiiphene zolawulo.
Namhlanje, zininzi iindlela zokuthetha ngokuthandana phakathi kwabathandekayo. Siya kugweba okulungileyo kwabanye abantu, kwaye oko kungenjalo. Kwi-Intanethi kuninzi "iingcebiso" malunga nendlela yokunxibelelana nomthandayo, indlela yokuziphatha kule nto okanye kuloo meko. Impikiswano yezibini esivame ukuchaza ukuba esinye sazo senze "siphutha", kuba kwakudingeka senze ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Sithetha ntoni ngokuchaneka kokuziphatha kobudlelwane? Ngaba le mithetho iyinyaniso? Yiyiphi imigaqo ekufuneka ihlawule ngokukhethekileyo?
Njengoko sicinga ukuba imelwe
Wonke umntu unombono oqhelekileyo wendlela abakhangela ngayo isibini. Ezi zimeko zisekelwe kwiingcamango zesini zesini "intombazana kufuneka ibe yowesifazane kwaye ibe njengezihlangu, kwaye umfana kufuneka abe ngumntu kwaye athande imidlalo." Ubungqina bolu hlobo lugxininiso lubonisa icebo labo, ngokwale naluphi na isibini esithandwayo esifanele senze. Indlela emele ngayo imele "indlela efanelekileyo" yokuziphatha, kwaye nayiphi na enye indlela eyahlukileyo ibonakala ngathi iyaphambukela kwimimiselo. Ngokomzekelo. into yokuba isinyathelo sokuqala kufuneka senziwe rhoqo ngumfana. Kuphela indoda kwiphakamiso yethu icela inombolo yefowuni, ikumema ukuba uhambe, kwaye unikezela ukuba uqhelane. Ukuba intombazana yenza oku, siqala ukuyijonga njengomntu-onjengeyena okanye oyisidenge. Oku kubonakala "kungalunganga". Ngokweendlela eziqhelekileyo zokunyuka kwezinto eziqhutyelwayo ngokukwenziwa kwesikimu apho kuyimfuneko ukuthetha inkulumo ende yokudideka. "Yiyo yonke into endiyifaneleyo, mna kunye nayo yonke into kufuneka ihluke ... yonke into emangalisayo, kodwa ...", kodwa ukuba intombazana ngokukhawuleza ixelele umfana ngokuthe ngqo kwaye engakhange ikhumbule ixesha elide, uya kuthi ngokucacileyo ukungafuni kwakhe umnqweno aze abonise indlela engafanelekanga ngayo "sele ephosakeleyo" kwaye engenzi kakuhle . Yaye lo mfana uya kuba ngumntu omdala ukunyelisa ukunyelisa.
Iimbono zethu malunga nobudlelwane, njengokuba kufuneka ukuba, ziphazamise nathi. Sivame ukucinga isicwangciso esilungileyo sobudlelwane bethu, sicinga ukuba yonke into ifanele ibe yintoni kwakhona kwakhona. Yaye yonke into ibonakala iyinto enhle, kodwa loo nto ilahlekile into ethile. U-Anya usibamba iqela leengcamango zethu, ukuphunyezwa kwesi "cwangciso", esakhwelwe ixesha elidlulileyo kwaye apho konke kuhamba khona. Siphazamisa neendlela zethu ezifanayo. Basenqabela izinto ezithile ezinokusenza sivuyiswe. Ngokusoloko sesaba ukungaqhelekanga, kungekhona njengabantu bonke, ukulibala ukuba ubudlelwane buyimfihlo yabanye. I "ngcebiso" yomhlobo wobudlelwane bethu inokusenza siqiniseke. Emva koko, kwiifilimu esizibonayo zifana, zichanekile kwaye zithandana. Siqala ukucinga: sinokwenza into engalunganga?
Ungazivumeli ukuzithengela phantsi, icebo elichanekileyo lokunxibelelana kwi-padi yinto efanelana nawe kwaye ivelise ukuzonwabisa. Ubudlelane kufuneka buguquke ngokwemvelo ngokwemiqweno yakho kwaye akunandaba nokuba abanye bacinga ngani. Ngaba ukhathalele ngale nto?
Uqhagamshelwano lwezenkcubeko
Indlela abayithandayo kufuneka bayathethane ngayo. Namhlanje, sibhekene neentlobo ezahlukeneyo kunye neenkolelo kulo mcimbi. Umzekelo, isibini esithile sinento into yokuthetha ngayo kunye nabantu abathandayo akufanele bathule. Kwaye ukuthulisa kukuphawu lokuba into ephosakeleyo. Kukho uluvo lokuba ngalinye iqabane lifanele lifike ngosuku olufomatiweyo kwezihloko ezixoxwe ngazo. Kodwa yonke into kukuba ukuba ukhululekile ukuthula - udinga ukuthula. Emva koko, ukuba isibini esingazange sikwazi ukuthula, kwaye bathanda "ukuphumla" ngokuchaseneyo, akuyi kuba khona i-topo?
Uninzi lwezimo zengxaki zijongene nobuhlobo bobudlelwane phakathi kwamadoda nabasetyhini. Namhlanje, abafazi baxolelwe kakhulu "iindiza" zabo kunye neempazamo, kubhala oku ngenxa yezizathu zangaphandle. Kungekuphela nje ukuba iiveki yabasetyhini bavunyelwe ukuba baziphathe ngendlela engafanelekanga kwaye oku kuthethwa ngokuba "ngokuqhelekileyo", amadoda angabhekana nobutyebi ngokubhekelana ngesondo, ukuziphatha, njl. Asinakuqhagamshelana nabafazi "abagwenxa" okanye baxakeke, bancitshiswa kakhulu ukuba baveze ukuziphatha kakubi, nangona xa banika iimpawu ezifanayo njengamadoda. Ukuba umntu ukhawula ngamagama afanayo okanye aziphatha ngendlela ephosakeleyo, oku kubeka isicaka kuye. Xa umntu ekhwela umkhwelo kunye nentombazana enhle kakhulu kwaye uyamncoma kwisitalato sonke, ungumntu ongumntu ongaqhelekanga. Ukuba loo nto ibhinqa ngendlela efanayo, i-minx.
Ngombono wabantu abaninzi, ngulo mfazi othetha ngamagama atshabalalayo, u-lisp, oza kunye namajelo amabizo ahlekisayo, aziphatha ngendlela encinci kwaye ubiza umntu ukuba ufuna njani: i-tart, i-lapus, njl. Ukuba, ngamaphiko omthandayo, umntu onjalo uthi, kubangela ukukhusela konke. Ngokomntu, indoda kunye nomfazi bajongene nokungabi nabulungisa okuhlukileyo. Oku kugxotha "itywina" kwingcamango yethu yendlela ukuthetha kunye nesimo sengqondo esifanele sibe ngayo.
Enyanisweni
Enyanisweni, yonke into iqhutywe yinto yokuba ngalinye iqabane likhululekile ukuziphatha ngokubambisana njengoko lithandayo, mabini kuphela kufuneka balawulwe. Ubudlelwane phakathi kwabathandekayo kukubambisana okuvaliweyo apho akufuneki kubekho indawo yokubandlulula kunye neengcamango. Ngamnye wethu ukususela ebuntwaneni kuvunyelwe imida ethile kwaye imisele imimiselo ethile elawula ukuziphatha. Isimo sengqondo sabantu ababini sisithuba esitsha ngokupheleleyo ebomini bomntu, iyunithi entsha yokuzimela apho abantu abathandekayo kuphela banquma oko kulungile kubo. Emva kwayo yonke into, iinjongo ezipheleleyo kukunyanelana kunye nokufikelela ukuqonda kunye nenkxaso, ukuxhathisa yonke into, kubandakanywa iziganeko eziqhelekileyo.