Ngokuqhelekileyo, oomama kunye nogogo ovela ebuntwaneni baselula bacebisa iintombi zabo ukuba intombazana kufuneka ihlaziye. Emva koko ekhula, la mantombazana ayayazi indlela yokulahla ukuthozama. Abazi ukuba benzeni ukuthintela ukuba baphile.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngokuthozama, ngakumbi kumfazi. Inxulumene nokukhuliswa nokuhlonipha. Uhlobo lwaloo mntu luba nesibindi kunye nomsebenzi, kwaye kwindoda engathandabuzekiyo, ukuthozama nokuthobeka. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuthozama ngokweqile, ukungaqiniseki kukucaphukisa ukuba akunakwenzeka. Kwaye lo mntu unjani ubomi bokwenene.
Ukususela ekuthobeni 55% abatsha abahluphekileyo, zingaphi iimbandezelo ngenxa yokuvavanya. Xa bebudala, abantu bancipha kakhulu, kodwa abanye kwimiba engamaxhegu ekukhulumisaneni.
Abantu abathobekileyo abanalo inhlanhla kubomi babo okanye kwimisebenzi yabo. Ngenxa yokuba abakwazi ukuzimela. Abantu abanjalo abanako ukuzithoba, nokuba ngaba bangabasebenzi abalungileyo kunye nabaqeqeshi bafumana umvuzo omncinci kwaye abayikubona ukukhula komsebenzi. Amagosa anjalo athandwa ngabaphathi bawo kuba bodwa, musa ukunyusa umvuzo. Kodwa akukho ntlonipho kubantu abanjalo.
Ukuthozama kunokuthatha iifom. Abantu abanjalo abakwazi ukulwa xa bengenangxaki, baya kuthula xa bekhohlisa esitolo. Ngexesha apho kufuneka uphakamisele amalungelo akho, kuya kuba yinto ephazamisayo, iya kuba yinkangala, ayikwazi ukuthetha igama ekuzikhuseleni.
Ngoko ukuthozama kuyinto esemgangathweni, xa ikhona ngokumodareyitha, kodwa akufanele iphazamise ukuphila, ukuzonwabisa nokuzonwabisa. Kwaye oku, okokuqala, kufuneka ube neyakho iminqweno, nangona ilula kakhulu.
Ukuze unqobe ukuthozama, kufuneka ukwazi isizathu sokuba neentloni. Ngokuqhelekileyo uvakalelo lweentloni luvela kuba ucinga ukuba abanye baya kukuxoxa njani xa wenza into engalunganga. Ucinga ukuba abantu abayithandi, ukuba ngandlela-thile bubi ngaphezu kwabo. Ulindele ukuba izinto zihambelane. Unesimo sokuxhatshazwa nokukhathazeka, ngoko izinto azihambeli ngendlela onokuthanda ngayo.
Ngenxa yokuthozama kwakho ngokugqithiseleyo, abantu banokucinga ukuba ongenamthandane, ongazifundanga, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo uyazikhukhumeza. Kodwa ngokwenene uloyiko ukuza, qalisa incoko, uloyiko ukubonisa uluvo lwakho, bonisa iimvakalelo zakho. Ngaloo nto uzilahla uvuyo lobomi. Kodwa zonke ziyakulungiswa ngokubeka umzamo uze usebenze ngokwakho.
Nazi izicwangciso ezili-10 zokuphelisa ukuthozama okukhulu:
1. Zibekele umgudu wokungakhathazeki malunga nabanye abantu abacinga ngako ngawe. Abantu abayi kukugweba ngakuphi na ukubonakaliswa kwangaphandle, kodwa ngohlobo luni lomntu onjalo ngokwenene.
2. Musa ukufuna ukugqibelela kuwe, yiba nguwe. Khangela ukusilela kwakho kunye neziqhamo ngokuqinisekileyo.
3. Ukuvavanya abanye ngokunyanisekileyo, musa ukubalisela kubo izinto ezingafanelekanga. Kholelwa ukuba abantu bakuphatha njengalingani.
4. Fundani ukuba nintlalontle, mncama kakhulu kwaye nibingelele abanye abantu. Funda ukubopha ingxoxo ngokwakho.
5. Zama ukuziphatheka ngendlela yokuhlekisa, ukuba uthetha into engalunganga. Musa ukuyiqwalasela, qhubeka uthetha.
6. Beka iinjongo ezifanelekileyo, funda ukwenza intetho nabanye, thintana nabantu abangaziwayo ngokuzithemba kwaye ukhululeke.
7. Ukuba ufuna ukuthetha nabaphulaphuli abaninzi, lungiselela kwangaphambili kwesi siganeko. Ugqoke ngentsingiselo, ukuze ungayi kuziva ukhululekile ngale nto. Abantu baya kuvuyela ukukujonga. Ukuthetha ngokubonakalayo kubaphulaphuli, ubaqinisekise ukuba ubaxelela into ebaluleke kakhulu kubo.
8. Funda ukuhlakulela ingxoxo kunye nomnxibelelwano, ukuncoma, cela iimvo zomntu onxibelelana naye.
9. Zibukele kwisibuko uze uzichaze ngokwengqondo ukusuka kwicala elifanelekileyo. Khangela, akufuneki ukuba utshintshe into yakho, unokutshintsha iinwele zakho. Xelela umntu omthandayo othembekileyo. Umsebenzi owona mkhulu kukufumana iziganeko kunye neempawu ezilungileyo.
10. Thetha ngokwakho, ngokungathi ngomnye umntu. Bhala uluhlu lwakho kunye nejaji ukuba abanye banezinto ezingalunganga kakhulu kunoko. Kodwa bazive benokuqiniseka ngakumbi kuluntu kunabo. Emva kokuba uluhlu sonke isidima sakho, kwaye uya kuqiniseka ukuba uphumelele kunabanye kwaye akufanele uthobe.
Kwinqanaba elithile, ukuthozama kukhona kuwo wonke umntu. Kodwa musa ukumnika amandla phezu kwakho. Kunokuba uzikhiphe wedwa, kungcono ukuzikhulula ekubeni untloni kwaye ujabulele ukunxibelelana nabanye abantu. Siyathemba ukuba iindlela zethu ezili-10 zokuphelisa ukuthozama okukhulu kunceda.