Kule nto uza kunceda umonde, ukujonga kunye nomnqweno wokuqonda kangcono ingqondo yengxelo yomzali wabantwana.
Iintsapho ezinobuthathaka kwaye ezinzima
Iingxaki ezinxulumene phakathi kwabazali nabantwana zingabangelwa yimozulu engcolileyo kwintsapho. Imindeni apho i-scandals, ukungalindelekanga, ukungquzulana kunye nokunyanzeliswa kweminqweno yomnye nomnye iyaphumelela, ayikwazi ukuthathwa njenge-springboard eyiyo yokukhulisa umntwana. Hayi, kodwa kukho ubunzima obuqhelekileyo ekuziphatheni kwabantwana abakhulayo kwiintsapho zokulwa. Abantwana abanjalo bahlala begula, baninzi kakhulu, besaba, banobudlova. Bayikopisha ngokukhawuleza izenzo ezimbi zabantu abadala, kunye nehlabathi langaphandle-isikolo, abahlobo egcekeni okanye oontanga - abajongene nalolu hlobo. Kuye kwenzeka ukuba imeko iqhutyiswa yinto yokuba umntwana ovela kwintsapho enjalo uhlangabezana nobunzima obukhulu kunye nokulungelelaniswa kwimeko yentlalo. Kwaye ngoko kwintsapho nangaphandle kwayo, ubomi bakhe buzele ukwesaba, ukuxabana, ukuhlambalaza nokungaqondi.
Ukuxazulula iingxaki ekujonganeni nabantwana kwintsapho enjalo kufuneka zihlale zihlala njalo. Kwaye kuyimfuneko ukuqala ngokupheliswa kweengxabano kunye neendlela zokuziphatha nokubhubhisa phakathi kwabantu abadala. Abanye oogqirha beengqondo baye bakwazi ukufaka ubungqina kwizifundo zabo ukuba abantwana bahlala bevuya ngakumbi kwiintsapho apho abazali bebeka ubudlelwane phakathi kwendoda nomfazi ngaphambili kunye nobudlelwane kunye nabantwana kwisibini. Oko kukuthi, indoda kunye nomfazi kufanele baqwalasele ngakumbi ukuphuhliswa kweemvakalelo kunye nobudlelwane babo, kwaye kuphela xa yonke into ikhona apho, gxininisa iingxaki zabantwana. Ukuba uhlala uthwalwe ngabantwana, ukulibala ngomfazi wakho, oku kubangele ubunzima obungadingekile.
Iintsapho zabazali abangabodwa
Iintsapho ezingapheliyo zinezo, ingxaki ekhethekileyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo badibene nenyaniso yokuba umzali kufuneka enze indima yobabini kunye nonina ngexesha elifanayo. Kunzima kakhulu ukubona ukuba umntu uvelisa umntwana wesini esahlukileyo. Le nkwenkwe, ekhuliswe ngumama onesizungu, isenokungabikho kwemilinganiselo yokuziphatha komntu phambi kwamehlo akhe. Intombazana ayikwazi ukucinga indlela umfazi okufanele ayenze ngayo ngaphakathi kwintsapho, ukuba ukhulelwe nguyise kuphela.
Kwiimeko ezinjalo, izazi zeengqondo zincoma umzali ukuba athole umntu omdala wesini esahlukileyo, othe wayeza kufundisa umntwana imimiselo yokuziphatha. Ngokomzekelo, utata unokutshintshwa ngumalume wakhe okanye umkhulu wakhe, kunye nonina-ugogo wakhe, unina okanye umfundisi ozithandayo. Ukuba umzali ongaboniyo ubona umntu kummandla womntwana, lowo umntwana olwa naye, angaphazamisi ukunxibelelana. Makhe athathe amacebo ahlukeneyo okulungelelanisa kwihlabathi ukususela kubantu abahlukeneyo, kummandla omdala abangamnceda kakhulu.
Iintsapho ezihluphekileyo
Oku kuvakalayo kubi, kodwa, ke, kwiintsapho ezinemivuzo encinane, uhlobo oluthile lweengxaki phakathi kwabantwana nabazali kaninzi luvela. Okokuqala, akusoloko kunokwenzeka ukunika umntwana ithuba lokufunda apho afuna khona. Okwesibini, abantwana banamhlanje banobuqhetseba, kwaye uluntu lwabantu abathengi, olusisigxina ngokusasazwa ngamajelo, lubafundisa ukuba bahlaziye abo bangagqokiyo okanye bangenako ukufumana i-barrette eyongezelelweyo.
Le ngxaki ayikwazi ukunyanzelwa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kuyimfuneko ukuthetha nomntwana, xubushe imiba echaphazelayo, exhafelwa ngemali, udumo. Kubalulekile ukunika imizekelo yabantu abaphumeleleyo abaye bafikelela phezulu kwintsimi yabo, nangona bavela kwiintsapho ezihluphekileyo. Inkolelo yokuba ukungabikho kwemali kwabazali abakwazi ukuba ngumqobo kumaphupha amakhulu kufuneka bahlale nomntwana ngaphambi kokugqitywa. Kwaye malunga nezinto ezimbalwa ezibalulekileyo ezihlobene nokuyilwa kwendawo yangaphandle, ngoko kuyakufanelekela ukuxhomekeka komntwana kwiimfuno ezincinci kunye neemfuno. Uluntu lwethu luhlelwe ngendlela enokuba, iintsapho ezininzi zinyanzeliswa ukuba ziphile ngokuthobekileyo, ngokuqhelekileyo ngekhredithi. Ngoko ukukwazi ukuziva unonwabo ngaphandle kwamehlo athengisiweyo kunye nejee ezitsha, zingamnceda umntwana kulo lonke ubomi. Kwaye into eyona nto kukuzisa kuye into yokuba ukufumana zonke ezi zinto akuyikuvuyisa. Ngenxa yokuba ubuhlobo bokwenene kunye nempumelelo ebalulekileyo ebomini bomntu kaninzi aluhambelani nokuba unobuncwane bunjani kunye nobutyebi.
Iingxaki eziqhelekileyo ezibandakanyeka neentlupheko zophuhliso
Kwaye kwintsapho efanelekileyo, ngamanye amaxesha iphoyisa. Into eyenzeka kumntwana obeka yonke indlu ezindlebeni. Ngexesha elithile kwaye ngokucacileyo kakuhle kuchazwe kwimizekelo yezingane ze-psychological pattern, ixakeka, ingenangqondo, ingenangqondo. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kubangelwa kukuba umntwana ujongene neengxaki zophuhliso.
Inkxalabo yophuhliso lwabantwana yinjongo apho umntwana engafuni ukuhlala endala, kodwa ngendlela entsha ayikwazi. Kwaye ke ubonisa ukungabi nomsindo ngenxa yokuqhankqalaza kunye neengqungquthela. Ukuba ngaba abazali abazi indlela yokuphendula ngokufanelekileyo ebuntwini benkathazo yobudala, baqinisekisiwe iingxaki ezinzulu kunye nokungaqondani kwiintsebenziswano nabantwana.
Kukho iingxaki ezininzi zokuphuhliswa kwabantwana: ubunzima bonyaka wokuqala, ubunzima beeminyaka emithathu, inkathazo yeminyaka emihlanu, ubunzima beeminyaka esixhenxe (uhambo lokuqala lokuya esikolweni) kunye neengxaki eziselula. Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ezinye iingxaki eziye zafundiswa kulo lonke ubomi bomntu, kwaye ingxaki yenkwenkwezi ayiyona yokugqibela kwimbali yakhe. Nangona kunjalo, siya kugxila kuphela kwiinkxwabo zabantwana.
Iingxaki eziphuhlisayo kubantu abadala zifaka iingxaki kwiinkalo zabazali nabantwana beengxaki ezingaphezulu. Yaye ukuba omnye wabazali ufumana ingxaki yenkqubela ngexesha elifanayo nomntwana, kucacile ukuba imeko yentsapho inokutshiswa kakhulu. Nangona kunjalo, ulwazi malunga nemvelo kunye neempawu zenkqubo yeengxaki zabantwana kwanele ukuba abazali baphephe iingxowanqa eziphambili zeengxaki eziqhelekileyo ekusebenzisaneni kwabo nabantwana.
Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ugweme iingxaki ebuhlotsheni babazali nabantwana ngexesha lokuphuhliswa kwabantwana? Kakade unako. Fundisisa iinkcukacha zekhosi kunye nengqondo yengxaki yomntwana ngamnye, kwaye uya kuba nakho ukuphendula ngokufanelekileyo kuyo yonke into yakhe. Impendulo echanekileyo kwingxaki yomntwana ivumela ukuba baqhubele phambili ngokungaqhelekanga kwaye bengenazo iingxaki, yingakho ulwazi lweengqondo zentuthuko yabantwana lubaluleke kakhulu kubazali banamhlanje.