Kwigama elithi "ukungcatsha" abantu bahlala becinga ngokunyaniseka kwintsapho. Kwaye nangona ukutshatyalaliswa, ubuxoki, ukunyundela abantu besini, ubuqabane bokungcatsha ngokuqhelekileyo ngumntu. Ukholo lomyeni luvavanyo olunzima kakhulu kwi-psyche. Inani elininzi labasetyhini liwela kwimeko enjalo engathandekiyo, kwaye lo mzuzu ubona bunzima kakhulu kwaye bunzima kubo. Kule meko, ufuna ukubetha izitya, ngexesha elifanayo ukhale uze uhlekise. Nangona ngezinye iinkcukacha uqonda ukuba awukwazi kwaye awufuni ukuhlala ngaphandle komntu, ukuba ungowona, kwaye akanakuze ucinge ukuba uhlala ngaphandle kwakhe, yonke into iya kuba isihogo. Yaye yeyiphi na isisombululo? Ukugwinxa ukuhlambalaza, iinyembezi nokuzicabisa, ngelixa uqhubeka uhlala kunye? Okanye uya kunye nentloko yakho ephakamileyo?
Umbuzo oyintloko: ngaba unokwenene ukuxolela uhlanga? Akuyena onke amabhinqa anokukwenza oku. Impendulo yalo mbuzo incike ekubeni uzimisele kangakanani ukuxolela umhlobo wakho. Ukuba umyeni wakho akayena "umvumi", kwaye oku kwakukungcatsha okukodwa, ngoko unokumxolela. Wonke umntu unezinye "izono". Yiyo kuphela le ngxaki: ungayikhohlwa njani le nto, unokuziphoqa njani ukuba ulahle iingcamango ezinzima kwaye uqale ubomi obutsha ukususela ekuqaleni?
Ngokuqhelekileyo ukusabela kokuqala kwowesifazane kukuqulunqa isityholo. Akukho nto embi kule nto, inokukuncedisa ekunciphiseni ukuxhatshazwa, kodwa ihlazo kufuneka licatshangwe kakuhle, ukuze lingabi kwisimo esingenangqondo kwaye inganiki ithuba lokuba intanda yakho icinge ukuba ulungile, ekufumanise ukuba ubekho indawo "kwimeko yokuhlambalaza."
Musa ukungena kuwe, fumana into enokuyenza. Ufuna ukulila, ukukhala? Jongana, yerite, shaya izitya, krazula izinto zakhe ezimbalwa, kodwa akukho mzekelo ungayibamba intlungu kuwe, emva kwexesha elithile liya kuvela kuwe ngendlela yohlobo oluthile lokugula. Kodwa zama ukuqinisekisa ukuba kwimeko enjalo akukho bantwana abakhoyo, kwaye, ngaphezu koko, umlingane onetyala.
Uhlobo olukhawulezayo lokungcatsha lubuyisela, ngokutsho komgaqo "wokugqithisa". Kodwa ukwaneliseka kokuziphatha akunakwenzeka ukuba kwenzeke, kuba impindezelo ayisoloko isisombululo kwimeko yokulwa. Ngaba ushiyile encinane? Uchithe konke ulaka? Zama ukwenza ngathi oko akuzange kwenzeke kuwe. Xoxa nomcuphi kuphela ngexesha eliyimfuneko, kwaye akufuneki ukuba uye kwenye indawo kude. Yiya kuthengwa, zithenge into ongeke ukwazi ukuyisebenzisa ixesha elide, kodwa sele uphupha ixesha elide. Zenze uzive ukuba umphefumlo wakho ufudumele. Yiya kubahlobo abangabonwanga ixesha elide. Gxininisa kumsebenzi wakho, nje ungawudluli, okanye ungawaphula. Khetha umdlalo ozithandayo, umzekelo: i-salon yobuhle, i-cinema, ekuhambeni kokuhamba khenketho.
Ungazihawukeli! Sebenza nawe! Zama ukuziqonda wena: wenzani ungalunganga, mhlawumbi ukhokhelwa ingqalelo, kwaye wanikela ixesha elide lobomi? Okanye mhlawumbi uyeka ukuzijonga? Emva koko, udinga umfazi owake wathandana neendlebe, kungekhona umpheki nomgcini wendlu. Zama ukuyiqonda! Nika ingqalelo kwindoda yakho. Kungenzeka ukuba unamathuba amaninzi oye wayeka ukuqaphela ixesha elide, uhlalutye kwaye ubuncinci ngamanye amaxesha uyamkhumbuza ukuba ngaphandle kwakhe akukho bomi endlwini yakho, ngaphandle kwayo yonke into iya kuqubuka, yonke into iya kulahla. Ukuba uyaluxabisa umtshato, zama ukuhlawula ngakumbi umyeni wakhe. Ukubanda kwakho kuye kuyingozi kunanini ngaphambili, njengoko kunokukhokelela ekugqibeleni. Inkosikazi kuphela inikwe kwaye ihlaziswe, kwaye mzukise indoda yakhe! Kwaye umfazi angayiphendula njani ngokufanelekileyo? Mhlawumbi kungcono ukwenza oko kanye?
Ixesha lokuba ukhangele emphefumlweni wakho kwaye uzama ukubona oko kukunye - ukuthanda okanye ukuzonda? Ukuba ukutshatyalaliswa kwendoda kwenzeka njalo ngexesha lobomi bakho, ngaba kuyafaneleka ukuba ubuyisele kwakhona kwakhona ukuhlaziswa? Kodwa ukuba le yimiba yodwa, kufuneka uqikelele i-pros and cons. Ukuba kukho uthando olungakumbi, mhlawumbi. Kufanelekile ukuhlalutya imeko yonke - ukuxolela umyeni wakho kwaye uqale yonke into ukusuka kwiphepha elitsha. Akuninzi ngenxa yabantwana, kodwa ngenxa yokuphila kunye nokuvisisana kwintsapho yakho. Ngoko ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ubunzima kangakanani, musa ukukhumbuza umyeni wakho wokungcatsha kwakhe. Emva kokuxolelana naye, musa ukulawula yonke inyathelo, uphinde umthembe. Ukwazi ukuziphatha ngesithunzi ngaloo ndlela, ngamanye amaxesha akulula, iimeko, ukuze intsapho yakho ingakhathazeki. Kwiintsapho ezininzi, ukungcatsha kwenzeka, kwenzeka kwaye kuya kwenzeka, nakwi-well off. Ngoku uqonda indlela umfazi angakwazi ngayo ukuphendula ngokufanelekileyo.
Abathandekayo nabafazi abathandekayo, ubomi bentsapho obonwabileyo, ubudlelwane obuhle nothando nomyeni wakho, ukuqonda intsapho yakho, ukuhlala ixesha elide, uthando kunye nokuthandwa, kungakhathaliseki ukuba yintoni. Cinga ngezinto zonke ezenzeka kwintsapho yakho rhoqo.