Ngexesha lokuba kunye
Ingxaki zezezimali, okanye iinjongo zentsapho, okanye ukungavunyelwa kwezenkolo kuthintela isigqibo malunga nomtshato wesiganeko njengento yokuba nezingane eziqhelekileyo. Ngokwezibalo, i-71% yabemi bethu abahlali baqhawule umtshato ngenxa yomntwana.
Kodwa, ungazivumeli ukuba ucinge nangenkululeko ekubanjweni komtshato, ngenxa yokuba ukhulela abantwana abaqhelekileyo, uphendule ngokucacileyo umbuzo: ngaba yindalo kuphela yimbangela? Ukunyamekelwa kwengqalelo yomntwana ngokuqhelekileyo kuyisicatshulwa esilungeleyo sokuqondwa kwabasetyhini kunye nabangokwemvelo - ukwesaba utshintsho, ukwesaba ukodwa, ukwesaba intlupheko, ukwesaba ukujonga okubi emehlweni abo. Ngaphambi kokujongana nezihlobo, kubalulekile ukujongana nale nkxalabo, kuba zixhomekeke ngokupheleleyo.
Uloyiko lonwabo. Nangona kukho umbono ochanekileyo othi "akukho mntu ufuna ukuphakamisa ingcuka yelinye" kwaye "Andiyidingi umntu ophethe i-trailer," abafazi abaqhawulayo kunye nabantwana bafumana iqabane elitsha lula kwaye lilula kunabantwana abangatshatanga nabantwana abangatshatanga. Kwaye oku kuqondakalayo: sele sele benamava wokwakha ubudlelwane emva kwabo kwaye bayazi kakuhle into enokuyilindela emtshatweni; Ukuqonda i-psychology yamadoda (kuquka amadoda ashada) kwaye unokuthutha ngokuzithoba amandla omlingane ngendlela efanelekileyo.
Ukongezelela, umtshato nomfazi sele sele esenabantwana, amadoda ahlolisiswa njengesiqiniseko esithile sokukwazi kwakhe ukuzala. Xa sele enomntwana omnye, akuyi kuba yingxaki ukuba aqhubeke.
Imitshato ephindaphindiweyo, njengomgaqo, ihlala ihlala ikhona ngaphezu kokuqala. Emva koko, le nyunyana ayinxulumene nothando lobuqili okanye inzondo yobutsha, ayinalo inqwenelo okanye umnqweno wokulahla ukunakekelwa kwabazali, kodwa yakhiwa ngokweengqiqo kwaye isekelwe ebuhlotsheni kunye nokuncediswa kwindlela yokugcina intsapho ibomelele kwaye ibumbene. Oku ngokwenene, umtshato wobambiswano. Kubalulekile kuphela ukugcina ikhefu emva kokuqhawula umtshato, ngokufanelekileyo-malunga nonyaka.
Ukwesaba uxinzelelo lwezemali. Ngokuqhelekileyo isizathu esisizathu sesahlulo somtshato.
Kwezinye iimeko, ukugcina intsapho iya kubangela iingxaki ezinkulu kunomtshato.
Ubundlobongela basekhaya, ngokwenyama okanye ngokuziphatha.
2 Utywala, utywala lweziyobisi, ukugembula komnye wabazali,
Indlela yokuphila ngokunyanisekileyo yobomi bomnye wabazali,
Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokugcina intsapho:
Umdla odlulileyo udlulileyo, kodwa phakathi kwakho kukho intlonipho kunye nokuqonda.
Isigqibo sokuba ngumzali sazi, nonke nifuna umntwana.
Unomdla oqhelekileyo, isizathu esivamile.
Unomnqweno okwaneleyo namandla okusebenza wena kunye nobudlelwane bakho.
Ulungele ukutshintsha wena kunye nombono wakho weemeko. Iintsapho ezimbini zikhokelela ekuphahleni.
Ngokwazisa uluhlu lwezinto eziphathekayo kunye nobomi bokuphila ngokwahlukileyo, ufumanisa ukuba kukho iingxaki ezininzi kwaye awukwazi ukujamelana nabo.
Uyakuqonda ngokucacileyo ukuba ubomi bakho ngaphandle komlingane kuya kutshintshwa ngokubhetele ngakumbi - kokubili kunye nabantwana.
Ukulondolozwa kwentsapho kuxhomekeke kwimali kwiqabane. Hayi, isisombululo sombuzo wezemali xa umtshato uqhafalala kakhulu kumagxa omfazi. Nangona i-alimony ayiyonto inqabileyo incedisa ukukhula kakuhle komntwana.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kukho inkcitho encinci, ukuba ngaba akukho mfuneko yokuba "inyama yindoda" kwimenyu yemihla ngemihla. Ngelo xesha, umfazi unokucwangcisa uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali ngokwakhe, ngaphandle kokubika inkcitho.
Ukwesaba ukugwetywa kwabanye kubonisa indlela yokugcina intsapho ibe yomelele kwaye ibumbene. Iimbono zikagogo kumnyango kufuneka zibe yintlalo yokugqibela, ngokukodwa ekubeni iziganeko zokuthi "umama ongatshatanga" kunye "nantandane" zinyanzeliswa ngaphandle kwintlalo yoluntu.
Ukoyika ukuphazamisa umntwana. Ukukhula komntwana ophuculwe ngokucacileyo kwintsapho engaphelelanga akuyona into elula, kodwa inokwenzeka. Kwaye imeko ephambili yale nto ukulahla nayiphi na ingcinga malunga nephutha lakho kunye nokuba umntwana okhulayo kunye nomama onothando, obalulekileyo, onokubaluleka, onokuthula, unokungonwabi. Ngokufanelekileyo, emva kokuhlukana nomyeni wakhe ngendlela enokuthandabuza, ibhinqa linokumisela ukunxibelelana phakathi komntwana kunye noyise. Ngaphandle koko, ihlombe likayise lingatholakala endaweni ye-lazhe ngaphandle kobudlelwane obutsha: indima yindoda ebalulekileyo ebomini yomntwana inokudlala umzalwana omdala, umkhulu-makhulu, umhlobo wentsapho, njl.
Thatha inyathelo
Kwezinye iimeko, ngumtshato uqhawulo olufanelekileyo, olwenziwe ngenxa yentsana.
Hlala kunye nabazali bobabini, abahlala behlambalaza, kuba umntwana unengxaki. Uluhlu lwabo alufutshane kakhulu: ukususela ngobusuku ukungabikho komchamo kunye nezobungozi zokulala, ukuthetha, ukukhulisa ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo.
Iintsana zeminyaka esencinane yokufunda kunye neentsana ezingakumbi "ezingenangqiqo" zinobubele becala - ziza kuziva ukunyaniseka kobudlelwane phakathi kwabazali. Kunokwenzeka ukuba oku kuya kubonakala kumyalelo womntwana, ukunxibelelana nabanye kunye nakwinhlalakahle yabantwana. Mhlawumbi no kuvela kweengxaki zonyango ngokwenene - ngoko ke umntwana uyaziqonda ngokukhawuleza imeko yeengxaki, uzitshintshe ngokwalo.
Ixhoba lonwabo "egameni lomntwana" lingaba lilize: inzala yakho ayinakukwazi ukuyixabisa, nangemva kokukhula. Kodwa ukumenza azive ecinga ukuba netyala ungokoqobo. Ngokukodwa xa sigxininisa ukuba ngenxa yakhe, abazali abangenwabahlali, banyanzelekile ukuba bahlale kunye.
Ukutshatyalaliswa, ukukhathazeka, ukuxhatshazwa, okuqhelekileyo kwiintsapho apho abatshatileyo bahlukana khona, kuya kubachaphazela umntwana. Ukuhluthwa kakubi kwintlanzi, ukuziphatha okubonisa, kwenza umntwana angaboniswanga, avaliwe. Ngokuphathelele abantwana abavela kwiintsapho, abakhuselekileyo kuphela kubonakala, kwaye bathi: "Intsapho ayikho into embi."
Ngamanye amaxesha kungcono umntwana ukuba abone uyise xa ngeveki - kodwa enesidima kunye nokunyamekela, kunokucinga imihla ngemihla ebusweni bukayise, engcwatyelwe kwiTV okanye kwikhompyutha.
Umzekelo wobudlelwane bobulili bobulili, okufunyanwa ngumntwana kubudlelwane babo babazali, kunokuba lukhulu kakhulu ukutshintshela ebomini bomntu. Ukungena kunye nokubanda, ukulawula "kwintsapho" epheleleyo, kukhokelela ekubeni umntwana ukhula ngabantu abadala, abanakho ukuvakalelwa, okanye abanokungaqiniseki.