Indlela yokuxolelana ngayo nentanda yakho?
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhetha amagama okuxolelanisa. Ukuba uqala ngamagama: "Masenze, kodwa ndicinga ukuba uphosakele," okanye "Ewe, ngokwaneleyo ukukhubekisa, yinto ephosakeleyo yakho," ngoko mhlawumbi uya kuqalisa uchungechunge lwesibini lweengxabano.
Ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukwenza, musa ukuba ngubani othe tye kwaye ubani omele uxanduva, nokuba ufuna ukuyiqonda. Kungcono ukuxoxa ngale nto emva kwenkqantosi, xa imvelaphi yeemvakalelo ihamba kakuhle. Ingongoma ebalulekileyo kukuba ingqwalasela kufuneka igxile kwingxaki, kungekhona kubuntu.
Ungaqala njani ukuxolelana?
Kukulungele ukuqala ngenyaniso, xelela umthandayo malunga namava kunye nemvakalelo yakho: "Masenze into, akulula kum xa singathethi" okanye "Andifuni ukuxabana nawe". Ungangcikiva into encinane into yakho, kodwa mxelele nje ngeminqweno yakho neemvakalelo zakho. Ungalibali ngexesha elifanayo ukuba ufuna ukwakha ubudlelwane bakho, "ungawunqobi" iqabane lakho.
Xa umntu obathandayo engathintana naye
Sonke ngabantu abahlukileyo. Ngamnye wethu unokuziphatha kwakhe, umlingani wakhe, wonke umntu unelungelo lokuqonda kunye nomoya kwimeko. Ukuba, umzekelo, uye wasuka kwimpikiswano kwaye ufuna ukuxolelana, kodwa umthandayo akakakulungeli oku, ke ungayithathi indlela yokuziphatha. Ufuna nje ixesha elide lokuvavanya le meko. Kufuneka ube nomonde kwaye ulinde.
Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukukhusela ingxabano?
Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba enye ingxabano iphinda ivuthwe kwakhona, kwaye awuyidingi nhlobo, zama ukumkela umbono womntu wakho. Kwaye nangona ephosakeleyo, uya kuvuma kunye naye, ngoko uya kukwazi ukuphepha ukuxabana. Kwixesha elizayo uza kubuya ukuxubusha umcimbi othile xa umthandayo enemeko eyahlukileyo. Kodwa, ukuba akukho ndawo yokubuyela kuyo, kwaye incoko sele iqalile, uthetha ngokubhekiselele, masixolelane, oku kuya kunceda ukuba uve. Ukuba abantu baqala ukuphazamisana, "ukushisa" kuphakama, ke abantu bobabini bahamba bememeza, beva kuphela, kwaye abavalelane.
Xa iingxabano zihlala zihlala zixoxisana nomhlobo wakho malunga nekhowudi yegama. Umzekelo, xa uvakalelwa kukuba incoko iyathatha isantya sokongeza, ke omnye wenu makabeki igama eliye laqalwa kwangaphambili. Kungaba nantoni na: "igrafu", "umthi", "indlu" njalonjalo. Eli gama lithetha ukuba kufuneka ukhulule umphunga kunye ncinane "ukupholisa".
Enye indlela yokugcina ubudlelwane nokuxoxisana ngokukhawuleza kukuqonda ukuthembeka nobunye. Chaza iqabane lakho ukuba unye kunye, nokuba ingxaki ingaphandle kwakho. Into ephambili, xa uxoxisana nokuzola, akudingeki ukuba unike ingxaki ithuba lokuqhawula yonke yakho kwaye uyiphule. Ukutshatyalaliswa komnye nomnye, fumana isisombululo esisisombululo, kwaye ke ingxaki iya kukushiya.
I ngqu zulwano
Apha ufuna ukwazi isizathu sokuxabana. Bangakwazi ukuhluka, ukungafuni ukungaqiniseki, ukungathembeki, imikhwa emibi, umnqweno wokubuyisana kunye nokunye. Kodwa ingxaki enkulu xa elinye iqabane lingavumelani noluvo lenye. Oku kuboniswa kwingxabano evuthayo okanye ekuthuleni okubuhlungu. Ngenxa yoko, amaqabane ayeka ukuxoxa ngeengongoma ezikhokelela ekuxabaneni. Kodwa oku akusisisisombululo kwingxaki, ihlala ingathembisani, iqokelela intukuthelo, kanti ke wonke umntu wenza konke ngendlela yakhe. Kufuneka ukuba ufunde ukujongana neengxaki ngokuchanekileyo nangokuzinzileyo, ngoko akuyi kubakho nto ekhoyo eseleyo. Qonda i-essence kunye nengcambu yemvelaphi yayo kunye ne-bud bud ufanele ukuyichitha ingxaki.
Ingxabano kwintsapho yinto eqhelekileyo?
Kukho inkolelo enokuthi ngokufanelekileyo, iintsapho ezinamandla aziphikisana. Kodwa oku akukwenzeka, kuba ngamnye umntu unombono wokujonga yonke into. Kufuneka nje uphulaphule umthandayo, zama "ukuzama" iimvakalelo zakhe, ukuva omnye nomnye, unike ithuba lokuthetha kwaye ufike kwiindawo eziqhelekileyo. Ngoku siyazi indlela enokuyenza ngayo uxolo kunye nomthandayo. Kubalulekile ukuba ufunde indlela yokuthobela ngayo. Emva koko ubunye bentliziyo yesibini kunye nokuqonda kwamadoda kuya kunceda ukubona le ngxaki ngendlela entsha, kwaye ufumane isisombululo esingalindelekanga.