Nangona kukho amadoda kunye nabasetyhini, imibuzo malunga nokunyaniseka ayiyi kuphelelwa ukuba ifaneleke. Kwaye ukuqonda izizathu, ukufumana umgwebo wokungcatsha, bobabini bafuna, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ngubani oguqukile. Ipesenti enkulu yabasetyhini bakholelwa ukuba akukho zindwendwe apho kungekho zinguqu, kwaye ukuba azinjalo ngoku, ziza kuhamba emva koko, zizezinye zeengxaki zobomi bentsapho okanye inkathazo yamadoda aphakathi kweminyaka. Ubunzima beminyaka yobomi bentsapho - umxholo weli nqaku la namhlanje.
Kukho ubuncinci abathathu bentsapho, apho amaninzi ahlala khona.
Eyokuqala - ngomnyaka wesithathu wobomi bentsapho, kwaye, ngokwenene, le sizathu sokuba ufuna ukuqiniseka ukuba "Ngaba kukho uthando?". Inyaniso kukuba emva kweminyaka emi-2, xa iimvakalelo ziqhakazile, ziqhwithela kwaye zithandeka, ubuhlobo bobudlelwane obushelelekileyo noxolo buqala. Kodwa abatshatileyo abasoloko bafuna ukukholelwa ukuba uthando lokuphila luya kuhlala lufana nolonwabo, njengowomnyaka wokuqala wokuphila kunye, nangaphambi kokutshata. Ngokuchasene neminqweno yethu, iimvakalelo ziya kwinqanaba elitsha, ngokunyanisekileyo nangokunyamezela kunokuba kuqale ukulwalamano, kodwa ukuqonda nokwamkela esi sibini sihlala singenamandla. Esi sizathu sokuqala sokukrexeza kwangaphambili, kunomnqweno wokuphinde uvalelwe isithwathwa semvakalelo eyayingaphambili. Ngeli xesha, amadoda angakwazi ukutshintsha, kuba ibhinqa ayinayo ixesha lokucinga ngayo, ngakumbi xa umntwana sele evele, kwaye akunakwenzeka ukufumana ixesha lokufumana umthandi okanye iintlanganiso. Ungalibali ukuba ngeli xesha abesifazana baxhomekeke ekudakaleni, ngoko banokuthi bajonge njengakuqala, kwaye kuphela indoda ingamnceda ukuba ayilahle. Kodwa amadoda ayabuthathaka kakhulu, ngokubhekiselele kwikhaya kunye nabantwana, banokukhawuleza ukuphuka ekukhangekeni kwezinto ezintsha.
Iindaba zokungathembeki kweqabane lomfazi libe yinto enamandla kakhulu, kwaye akunakwenzeka ukubonelela ngokuziphatha kwayo. Kwabafazi abanokulinganisela kunye nokuzinzileyo banako ukwenza izinto ezingabonakaliyo. Akukho nkcazo, ifuna ukuhlaziywa kunye nokuthula akuyi kunceda umfazi onomona, kodwa umfazi onengqiqo uya kufumana ezinye iingcebiso zokujamelana nale ngxaki.
Ukungcatsha kwendoda yakhe kwenza owesifazane oqiqayo ucinge ngezizathu kwaye azijonge yena, kunokuba alahle iipane kunye nokufakela umtshato. Ayenzeki emva kwayo yonke into, ukuze elinye icala libe netyala. Ngendlela, izazi zengqondo azicebisi xa uvula ukungcatsha ukuqala "intliziyo yentliziyo intetho" kwaye utyhila iqabane elingathembekanga, kungcono ukubonelela indlu yonke into efunekayo kwicala. Ukucinga, umfazi uya kuhlala ekwazi ukuqonda umntu omthandayo, nokuba uyindoda engathembekanga. Yintoni ongayenza ukuba abantu bangenakufumana ubungqina bodwa, bekholelwa ngamandla abo ngaphandle koncedwa ngumfazi. Kwaye ukuba umfazi onjalo unqabile ukuthobela ingqalelo kuye kunye naye, ukuthetha amazwi athando, njengaphambili, into enokuyenza loo mntu, ukuba awazi naziphi na iindlela zokufumana oko kufunwa ngaphandle komthandi. Ukuba ufumana ukunyaniseka, yenza sengathi akukho nto eyenzekayo, umnakekele, umthande, ubone umphumo, ubudlelwane kunye nenkosikazi yakhe buya kupheliswa. Ndikholelwe, phantse zonke iincwadi zemveli, nokuba zide kwaye zinzulu, ngokukhawuleza okanye ekupheleni kwayo, kungekhona bonke abantu abafuna ukuguqula ubomi babo baze baqale kwakhona. Ekhaya, emva koko, kukho umfazi onothando nothando ngokwenene. Ngaba unokungabaza ukuba indoda ingamthanda umfazi kwaye itshintshe? Ngoko, uphosakele kakhulu, oku kunokwenzeka.
Xa unqobile yonke ubunzima beengxaki zokuqala, ungayikhohlwa malunga nabalandelayo kwaye uzilungiselele ngokuziphatha.
Inkathazo yesibini ihamba malunga neminyaka engama-7 yobomi bentsapho, efana neyokuqala, ngoko kunokwenzeka ukunqoba abantu abatshatileyo.
Inkathazo eyona yingozi iwela ngonyaka wama-20 wentsapho. Uvavanyo lwamandla olwalamano luvela kumacala amabini. Indoda ifinyelela kwiminyaka engama-40, kwaye yena ngokwakhe ufumana ubunzima obuphakathi kweminyaka, ukuhlaziywa kwemilinganiselo kunye nokukhangela intsingiselo ebomini kumnyusa ukuba azame ukutshintsha iqabane lakhe, kodwa ke uhlala kwintsapho. Ngokufanayo, umfazi ucingisisa ngobomi bakhe, abantwana bakhula kwaye baphila ubomi babo, kubonakala ngathi, unokuzinyamekela kwaye uphuphe amaphupha akho, kodwa isiqabane sinokuqonda ukuba sekwephuzile. Abafazi bajonge kwisibuko baze baphelelwe yithemba lamanzi. Amadoda aziva ngenxa yeenwele ezincinci kunye nesisu esasibonakala. Wonke umntu ufuna ukuzibonakalisa yena kunye nomntu wonke ongekho bonke olahlekileyo kwaye abambelele. Kunqabile kakhulu, ukwahlukanisa kuba ngumphumo wale nkathazo, kodwa kuya kwenzeka ukuba abafazi baqala ukuhlala ubomi babo kwindlu enye.
Ayikwazi ukuxolela inzondo kunye nokungcatsha, abatshatileyo banokutshatyalaliswa, bashiye abantwana ngaphandle kobawo, baphile ngaphandle kwenkxaso yendoda yakhe baze bafike ekupheleni kweentsuku bakhala ebusuku baze balale embhedeni okhulelweyo. Emva koko, amadoda asemkhawulezileyo ekutshatweni kwakhona, ayenayo yonke inxaxheba ekuhlangabezaneni nabasetyhini, kodwa abafazi bawunzima kakhulu ukufumana indoda yesibili. Ikhono lokuxolela alinakutshabalalisa uthando, intsapho ingonwabile, njengaphambili, kuya kuba nomnqweno.
Xa unqobile zonke iilingo, iingxaki zobomi bentsapho, uxolele ukutshatyalaliswa kwabatshatileyo, uya kuba nolwalamano oluqinileyo, inhlonipho omnye nomnye nothando, uthando oluye lwafumana ixesha.