Njengoko umzekelo ubonisa, abaninzi ootata ngoku banolisayo, ixesha elide abanakukwazi ukwenza isigqibo kwili nyathelo eliphambili. Ukukholelwa indoda ethandekayo ukuba ukhulelwe umntwana kunzima kakhulu, kodwa indlela yokukholisa indoda ukuba uqhubeke nokukhulelwa iba yinkinga enzima kakhulu kumfazi, ngenxa yokuba ulahlekelwa ngumntwana kanye, awukwazi ukuba nolonwabo lolunina.
Ngokweengqondo zengqondo, amadoda amaninzi ebomini bobubomi, akukho nto iloyiko, njengomkhangeli womtshato waseMendelssohn kunye nomgca omhlophe kunye nomgca obomvu okanye oluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka emngceleni wekhaya lokubeleka. Abameli abanesibindi okanye abanomdla kakhulu ngesondo esinamandla, kodwa ngokuhamba kwexesha, i-perebaryvayut ngokwabo, batshata kwaye banabantwana. Kodwa ke baya kuba ngabayeni kunye nootata abanothando, kubalulekile ukuba loo mntu ngokwakhe uza kule nto, nangona umfazi angamnceda kule nto engaboniyo. Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba uqale uchukumise umyeni wakhe ukuba ahlale ekhulelwe, kufuneka ufumane oko kukuthintela ekubeni enze isigqibo esifanelekileyo.
Lo mbuzo ukwenene kakhulu kwaye usondele kuyo kufuneka ube ngamabomu kwaye ungabonakali. Ekubonweni kokuqala, ukungafuni komntu ukuba abe nabantwana kulele ekunqweneleni kwakhe ukunyamekela umntwana kwaye ungalali ebusuku. Kodwa enyanisweni, oku akukhona ukwesaba okulula kwenguqu, indlela eqhelekileyo yobomi, kodwa into ebaluleke ngakumbi.
Ngokuqhelekileyo amadoda ngaphambi kokuzalwa kwamazibulo ayesaba kakhulu ingcamango yokuba ngobudlelwane nomfazi othandekayo umntu uya kubaphazamisa, nokuba ngaba ngumntwana wabo.
Amadoda ayesaba ukuba umfazi wakhe othe tye, onqabileyo wabesifazane abakhulelweyo uya kuba ngatyebile, alahlekelwe ubuhle bakhe kunye nomtsalane, ngaloo ndlela aguquke kwiklabhu eyakhelwe ngaphakathi kunye nentloko engahlambulukanga eengubo ezigqoke.
Ukukholisa umyeni wakhe ukuba ashiye umntwana kuba nzima kuba uyesaba ukuba xa umfazi eba ngumama, uya kulahlekelwa nayiphi na inzala kwimibutho yobudlova obudlulileyo. Kwaye ke, ukuba akukho mntu uthanda ukulahlekelwa ngumdla kwisini nomfazi wakhe othandekayo.
Amadoda ayesaba ukubonakala komntwana ngenxa yokuba umfazi osenomdla onothando kunye nomncedi uya kuba mncinane kakhulu ukuba amnake. Banoyika uvakalelwa njengento engenamsebenzi kumanyano ongenasiphelo "womama nomntwana".
Yaye ukuba akukho mali?
Esinye sezizathu ezibalulekileyo zokuba kutheni umyeni engavumeli umfazi ukuba akhulelwe yimeko yezemali, eya kuba yinto enzima kakhulu, ngokuzalwa kwayo. Ngaphambi kokukhulelwa, ukugqithisa kwakuncinane kakhulu, kwaye umvuzo wawubabini kunye nabasetyhini. Emva kwesiganeko esibalulekileyo, ukubonelelwa kwezinto eziphathekayo kwintsapho kuhlala kumagxa omyeni. Ngaphezu koko, akukho mfihlelo ukuba ngexesha lethu kunzima ukuxhasa umntwana.
Yisiphi isono ukufihla, ngokusoloko ukwesaba umntu kulungile. Kubonakala kubonakala kuqala ukuba owesifazane ongumfazi angakwazi ukujamelana nayo yonke into, kodwa ngokwenene ngumsebenzi omkhulu. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ngubani ovela kubameli be-half half-weak who are able to do things at once: ukwenza umsebenzi wesikolo - ukupheka, ukuhlamba, ukucoceka, ukubeka iliso ukubonakala nokunika ixesha elikhulu lexesha lokukhulula kumntwana, kwaye usasebenza. Lo mthwalo omkhulu unokuma omnye, okanye abuyele kumongikazi oqeshiweyo ukuze ancede.
Kodwa ukuba ufuna ukuzala umntwana, zithathele imeko ezandleni zakho, kwaye zikhokelwe ngcebiso, zama ukukholisa indoda yakho ukuba igcine ukukhulelwa.
Indoda ayikwazi ukunqoba ukwesaba kwakhe, ifuna uncedo, ibhinqa lifuna ukuthetha ngokuthe ngqo kunye naye. Kwimeko enjalo, njengokuba umyeni ekholisa ukukhulelwa, akukho ndawo yokulala. Awukwazi ukuqinisekisa ikusasa likapapa ukuba ungumfazi ophezulu oza kuhlangabezana nayo ngaphandle kokunyanzeliswa kancinci kunye nale ingentla. Esi sikhundla sihlala siphulukana. Ngenxa yokuba ukholelwa ukuba ukholelwa inkolelo yakho, inyaniso ayisoloko inokwenzeka, ukudideka kwakhe kunokubangela intlungu ebalulekileyo kwintsapho yakho.
Isenzo esilungileyo nesilumkileyo nje ukuxelela umntu obathandayo ingcamango yakho ingxaki. Indoda iyavuma ukugcina ukukhulelwa kuphela xa ekholelwa ukuba umntwana okanye akayi kuba "eyongezelelweyo yesithathu". Akunangqondo ukukhumbuza indoda yakhe yothando lwakhe. Chaza ukuba kubalulekile ukuba uzalise umntwana wakhe.
Sitshele ukuba awuyikucwangcisa isidleke sesibhokhwe ngentloko kunye nekhilogram eyongezelelweyo kwisiqingatha esilandelayo senkulungwane. Kungenxa yokuba kubalulekile ukuba ube ngowona mnandi kwaye untle emehlweni omyeni wakho othandekayo. Ingxabano enzima iya kunikwa ngumzekelo wabasetyhini, emva kokubeletha, baba ngumfazi kwaye banomdla.
Kuya kuphinda kuphumelele ukuxelela, into yokuba ubulili besini bubonakaliswe ngokulingana ngokupheleleyo emva kokuzalwa komntwana. Kunokwenzeka ukuba emlonyeni wakho indoda ayikwazi ukukholelwa, uze ufake kwindawo evelele kuyo igazini elinomxholo okhanyisa lo mzimba womzimba wesetyhini. Emva kokuyifunda, indoda iya kwenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo.
Iingcali zengqondo azicebisi ukusebenzisa amagama phakathi nale ngxoxo:
"Ungumntu ongenathemba";
"Awuthandi nonke";
"Ngaba ucinga ukuba ngubani oya kusinceda ekuguga kwethu? ".
Iingcali zithi iingxabano ezinjalo aziyi kuzisa umfazi inkolelo, kwaye nokuba indoda enomsindo.
Unako kwakhona, ngokucacileyo ngetoni yokuzola, ubuze umyeni wakho imibuzo embalwa, oku kuya kumnceda ukuba aqonde iimvakalelo zakhe neemvakalelo zakhe.
Umzekelo, cela umbuzo othe ngqo: "Ngaba ufuna abantwana ngoku okanye ngokusemthethweni? ".
Kodwa kunengqiqo ukubuza imibuzo emininzi eya kunceda umntu aqonde iimvakalelo zakhe kunye nokwesaba. Umzekelo, mbuze umbuzo othe ngqo: "Awufuni ukuba nabantwana ngoku, okanye akakho mgaqo? ". Xa uphendula ukuba abantwana abayingxenye yesicwangciso sobomi bakhe, cela: "Ngaba uyazibeka ingxelo yezinto ezikuthintela uvuyo lomama?" Imibuzo enjalo iyaxhalabisa ingqondo yindoda, ngamanye amaxesha inokumnceda ukutshintsha isigqibo. Kodwa ke, ukuba awukwazi ukuqonda ukuba kutheni umyeni wakho enqabile ukuzalwa komntwana, zama ukudibanisa nengqondo yengqondo.