Enyanisweni, ngaba abantwana badinga inkululeko? Inkululeko, elingenamkhawulo, engenakho isakhelo, akukho, ayifuni. Akunikezeli ithuba lokufunda isiko kwaye ube ngumntu - lowo unobumba obuninzi. Inkululeko, evumela kwaye inceda ukuqonda imigangatho yokuziphatha phakathi kwabantu, ewe, kuyimfuneko. Kodwa ngaba imigaqo ikhona kubantwana? Ukuze kuzuze umntwana kunye nabathandekayo bakhe, kubalulekile ukuchonga imida yento evunyelweyo. Kancinci, ezo ziphatha zigwetywe ngabantu abadala abasayi kuba mntwana, ingakumbi ukuba abazali babeka imida ngokucokisekileyo nangokucacileyo. Kwiimvuthu, ihlabathi elingenamida liyi-chaos, kunye neengxabano ziyamangalisa, zenza ingozi yengozi. Ukuzama ukulahla ukukhathazeka, inkunzi iqala ukujonga imida abantu abadala abangazange bayibonise yona. Kulo uphando, ubonakala "ehlola" abazali.
Kwiinyanga ezili-18 umntwana waqala ukuhlaziya. Kutheni oku kwenzekayo? Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuthukuthela ngokwemvakalelo. Ngokomzekelo, abaninzi abantwana abanakunyamezela ukunyanzeliswa kokunyanzeliswa nokulinda - kula maxesha, abahlaziyi banokuvusa isizathu esona sikhulu. Ukongezelela, ukuziphatha okubi kungabangelwa ngumnqweno wancinci ukutsala abantu abadala, ukungabikho kokuqonda ukuba akusiyo yonke iminqweno enokuzaliseka. Kungakhathaliseki isizathu, ngokuqhelekileyo umntwana ngexesha loxinzelelo akakwazi ukuhlangabezana naye. Qinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho uhlale ephule kwaye engalambile, kuba ukuziphatha okungenangqondo kumntwana osemncinci kudla ngokubangela izizathu zenyama. Kwimihla ngemihla kufuneka ibandakanye ukuhamba, imidlalo esebenzayo kunye nokuhamba, ukunceda "ukukhulula umthamo," ukulahla amandla. Uvakalelwa kukuba i-crumbal iqala ukuhlambalaza, fumana oko umntwana afunayo nendlela anokuncediswa ngayo, cacisa ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuqonda umntu omemezayo. Thatha umntwana kwindawo ekhuselekileyo, njengesikhalazo, qi ni sekise ukuba umntwana okhwazayo akakwazi ukwenza nayiphi na ingozi kuye. Hlalani nisondele kuvukeli oluncinane kwaye mxelele ukuba unokudlala naye kuphela xa ehlalisa. Indlela yokujongana nokusasazwa kokutya ngumntwana? Kutheni oku kwenzekayo? Abantwana bayakubona ukutya njengokunye okudlala. Ukongeza, bafuna ukuzama izinto, bahlole amandla abo phezu kwabo, baphathe. Etafileni kufuneka kubekho imeko ebalulekileyo. Nika amacandelo amancinci kwaye ufake isongezelelo kuphela xa isitya singenanto. Ukuqwalasela oko umntwana abonisa khona inzala kunye naziphi iindawo azifunayo. Ukuba i-crumb yaqala ukusabalalisa ukutya, ngumqondiso wokuthi sele sele egcwele.
Indlela yokulawula umdla wabantwana kwizihloko eziyingozi? Abantwana abaneminyaka elilodwa banesilinganiselo esiphantsi kakhulu sokuzithiba kunye nesinqwenela esikhulu, ngoko kunzima kubo ukukhawulela intsimi yabo kwiminqweno kwimpahla ephephile kuphela. Qaphela ngokucokisekileyo imizamo yomntwana ukuba ufunde indawo ethe xaxa nangaphezulu: xa usabela ngokwentliziyo, ukhathazeka ngakumbi kuba yinto encinci, eyabangela ukunyanzeliswa komntu omdala. Kuyimfuneko nje kuphela ukudala iimeko apho umntwana angakwazi ukuyihlola ngokuphepha ihlabathi, kodwa afundise umntwana ukuba kukho izinto ezingaphephile. Xa umntwana ekhangelwe kwinto engafanele ichukumiswe, yitsho ngokuzolileyo, kodwa ngokuqinile: "Hayi! Apho awukwazi! "- kwaye uyisuse kule ndawo. Unako ukunika umntwana wakho amava okusebenzisana nento eyingozi ngendlela elula: thinta iifoloko zefoloko kumnwe wengane, ngelixa uthi: "Efanelekileyo. Kuyingozi! "
Unyana omncinci uyabetha aze ambethe umntakwabo omdala. Ndingayimisa njani le nto? Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantwana basebenzisa indlela yobudlova, xa bengakwazi ukuveza iimvakalelo zabo ngamazwi. Abanye banokuthi bangabikho ngenxa yobugwenxa ngenxa yokunyuka kwenkqubo ye-nervous. Ukuxhatshazwa kuthintela abantwana kunye nokugxeka abantu abadala, imiqathango eninzi. YINTONI YOKWENZA? Umsebenzi kaMama ukukhuthaza ukuba ukulwa nokuluma ukuziphatha okungavumelekanga usebenzisa imifanekiso elula: "Awukwazi ukuluma!", "Asilwa!", "Musa ukwenza! Ndibuhlungu! "Simele simise umntwana, gcina isandla esivakalisa omnye umntu. Kubalulekile ukusho: "Ndiyayiqonda ukuba ngoku uyacaphuka, kodwa andinakukuvumela ukuba uphukise omnye." Eentliziyweni zobudlova kuluvo oluvakalelwa - umsindo, umsindo. Xa unxibelelana nomntwana, ungawuvali umva, ungathi: "Yeka ukuthukuthela!" - oku kungaphezu kwamandla omntwana; ngokucacileyo kwaye ngokucacileyo ukuthintela izenzo ezenzakalisayo. Awunakukubetha umntwana ngokuphendula, ngoko ngokwakhe uvakalelwa kukuba uyabuhlungu njani: "Ububi bubangela ububi." Kunoko, gxininisa "umbingelelo". Kule meko ukuba i-crumb iyaqaphela ukuba ukuziphatha okunjalo kubuhlungu, kwaye "ukucaphukisa" kufuneka uvelane. Ndixelele indlela yokusombulula ingxabano. Kubalulekile ukuhlukanisa ukuziphatha kobudlova kwabantwana kwimidlalo yokudibanisa, ingxabano yabantwana, apho abantwana kunye nabaqhube khona, kunye nokukhaba. Ukungenelela kuphela xa omnye wabantwana ebuza malunga nale nto okanye ubona ukuba omnye wabantwana uyalimala.
Xa inkwenkwe ihlaziyekile, ihlazo okanye ilungiselela ukuhlaziywa kwindawo yoluntu, akukho mfuneko:
- khwaza;
- ukuya kumntwana kwaye uzalise iimfuno zakhe;
- ukwesaba iimvakalelo ezinomntwana;
- thelekisa umntwana kunye nabanye abantwana "abangazange benze nantoni enjalo";
Yisho isakramente sabazali "Nonke nibukele !!!" - ubukho bamabalawuli kaninzi buyingozi kakhulu ukuziphatha kakubi.
Unako, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ufuna:
- ukuthatha okanye ukuthatha umntwana kummandla;
- kutshintsha ingqalelo;
- Ukudumisa umntwana xa eziphatha kakuhle kuyisisusa kuye;
- ukuphendula ngokuziphatha kakubi ngokucacileyo "akukho" kunye nesibonakalo esibonakalayo ebusweni.
Nangona umntwana engayiqondi amagama, ubonakaliso bakho buso buya kumnika lonke ulwazi. Ngelo xesha kubantwana abathile igama elithi "lingenakwenzeka" lingumgqomo kwenkomo. Bona, nokuba bancinci kakhulu, ibinzana elifanelekileyo kakhulu "Ngoko akuyidingi, kuba ...". Kufuneka icaciswe - ngaphandle kweenkcazelo ezincinane (omncinci umntwana, amagama amancinci) kwaye kuphela xa umntwana ehlaziya, ukuba awukhathazi ngokuziphatha komntwana kwaye kufuneka uziphatha njani; ukukhangela iindlela zakho zokuqeqesha, ngokuqwalasela umntu ngamnye, kokubili okwenu kwaye wenze njengomntwana wakho obomvu.