Masiqale ngokuchaza izizathu zengxabano zentsapho.
Iingcali zenzululwazi zibonisa ukuba iingxabano kwintsapho ziyakuchukunyiswa ngokungangqinelani komsebenzi we "iwashi yezinto eziphilayo" zabatshatileyo. Ngokomzekelo, "i-larks" ivakalekile kusasa, umsebenzi wabo wengqondo ukhululekile, baziva bevuya, kodwa "amaqhweba" akakwazi ukuvuka. Kwaye azinakulungele ukwenza umsebenzi wengqondo. Ukuba indoda nomfazi bahlukeneyo kwiintlobo zentsapho, ngoko, kusasa nakusihlwa, kunokungqubana. Kodwa oku kuqiqa nje, ngoko akudingeki ukuba ulahle zonke iingxaki zentsapho yakho kwisigqi sezinto eziphilayo zentsapho yakho. Akunakudingi ukufumana ubuhlobo ukusasa okanye ngaphambi kokulala.
Kuyadabukisayo, rhoqo ukuxabana kweentsapho akuvuki ngenxa yento. Apha, umzekelo, le meko. Umhla wokusebenza, owawungeyona enye yezinto ezilula, iphelile, ekugqibeleni uye ekhaya. Kwi-minibus, umntu wakuchukumisa, okanye akukhuselekanga, engabuyi ekhaya, ediniwe kwaye, ehla ezinyaweni zakho, ubingelwa ngumyeni olambileyo kunye nomntwana ofuna uncedo ukwenza izifundo. Yonke into iqala ukubilisa ngaphakathi kwakho, uvakalelo lomsindo luqala ukuvuthwa, ukungquzulana kukuphuza. Uchithe yonke imvakalelo yakho engalunganga kumalungu entsapho, imeko yongquzulwano ifinyelela phezulu, uyaqaphela ukuba akudingeki uqhubekele ukukhamuluka, uhambe ngokukhawuleza ukuya kwiindawo ezihlukeneyo zendlu. Le ndlela ithatha iintsuku eziliqela. Wena kunye nomyeni wakho hayi kuthetha, kwaye unako nawe. Ngamnye wenu sele ufuna ukwenza uxolo, kodwa akukho mntu uxolo. Emva koko, nonke nicinga ukuba nilungile, kwaye kutheni niya kuba ngowokuqala ukuxolisa. Usuku ludlula, okwesibini, kusihlwa kusenziwa ngokuthula, akukho mntu uthetha nabani na, kwaye ifowuni ithule ngokuthula. Sele ucinga:
Ngamanye amaxesha, ukuxazulula iingxabano zentsapho, kunengqiqo ukubuyela kwisazi sengqondo.
Ingqondo yengqondo ngumntu onombono wokuzimela ozimeleyo, oko kuthetha ukuba kulula ukuba akubonise imbangela yeengxabano kwintsapho yakho kwaye ubancedise ukuba basombulule kwaye baphephe ebomini bentsapho eqhubekayo. Ukubonisana kwengqondo kwengqondo yenye yeendlela ezithembekileyo zokulungisa iingxabano zentsapho.
Abantu abaninzi abanokungabaza ngale ngxaki. Emva koko, banamahloni ngento yokuba umntu kufuneka ahambe kumnye umalume okanye unina aze amxelele ngentsapho yakhe kunye neengxaki zakhe. Kodwa ukugxotha le ngxaki, siya kukuxelela malunga neenzuzo zeseshini zengqondo. Banceda ukuba bafumane indlela echanekileyo yokuphuma kwimeko yokuxabana eye yavela. Emva kwakho konke, ubhekisela kumntu onamandla kwisimo sengqondo kwaye akaphishekeli iinjongo zakhe kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo unokukunceda wenze isigqibo esifanelekileyo.
Ngelishwa, kweli lizwe akuyona indlela eyaziwayo kakhulu yokusombulula iingxaki zethu. Abantu abafuni ukusebenzisa imali, ixesha, njl. Emva koko, iingcali zolu daba azininzi kakhulu, zininzi kunabo bantu bafuna ukufumana, nangaphandle kwemfundo yeprofayili okanye amava aneleyo. Kodwa kunjalo, abantu bafuna ukuqonda ukuba xa kuvela iingxabano kwintsapho, kungcono ukubonisana nomntu onolwazi kunaloo ntombi. Ekubeni intombi yakho ingaba nomona, yingakho uya kunika isiluleko esinjalo, esingenakunceda, kodwa siya kuphazamisa imeko yentsapho yakho, okanye imbono yakhe yobomi bentsapho ayilungile. Okanye isiluleko esivela kwisihlobo sakho esisondelene naye, ongenamxhasa kakhulu iqabane lakho, liya kunika icebiso eliya kulimaza ulwalamano lwakho. Cinga kakuhle ngalo mbuzo.
Ngamanye amaxesha, ukungquzulana nentsapho kunokukhokelela ekuviseni ubudlelwane.
Ukuba ufumanisa ubudlelwane ngaphandle kobugwenxa, ekunciphiseni amathoni, incoko inokuvelisa ukuba ivelise ngakumbi, kwaye inkcazelo engalunganga kuyo iya kutshabalala. Masiye kwimeko yokuxabana ngakolunye uhlangothi, kuba akusoloko ephethe icala elibi, kuba ingxabano ihlala izisa intsapho ezinye iinguqulelo. Yaye inokusebenza njengento yokuxubusha ngenxa yobudlelwane bakho obuzimeleyo.
Xa ingquzulwano isigxina ngokupheleleyo, indoda kunye nomfazi bahlala belibala isizathu sakhe. Basele bekhumbule konke ukucaphuka kunye nentukuthelo yobomi babo, yonke into ababeyiqokelelele kwiminyaka yobomi babo kunye, yonke into ababengayithethi ngaphambili, kwaye yayidla ngokukhawuleza ngaphakathi. Ukulahla konke lo bunzima obusweleyo kumthandeki wakho, wenza iphutha elikhulu. Kodwa oku kungavunyelwe ngokuthe ngqo! Umele uzicace ngokukhawuleza oko uzama ukukufumanisa, kwaye uqonde le sizathu, kwimeko oye wakhula ngayo okwangoku.
Kakade ke, akukho nhlobo, akunakwenzeka ukusebenzisa izisongelo kwingxoxo ngokushiya intsapho, umtshato, njl. Bayayeka ukwenza ngexesha elifanelekileyo, okanye wena, kungekudala okanye kamva, kuya kufuneka uzalisekise.
Sincoma ukuba wenze njalo. Ukuba uqaphela ukuba kukho imfazwe kwintsapho yakho, kufuneka ucinge ngaphambili malunga noko uza kuthetha kwaye njani. Udinga ukuhlalutya kwangaphakathi kwakho. Kakade, oku akulula, ngakumbi xa konke okuphakathi kwakho kubilisa kwaye kuguqumbile kwizizathu ezixubileyo zengxabano. Kodwa ngubani owathi ubomi buyinto elula? Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, olu hlalutyo luza kuzisa iziphumo ezilungileyo. Emva kwakho konke, kulo mzekelo, unokuphepha ukukhala kunye neengcikivo ezingenanto. Wena kunye nomlingane wakho unokufumanisa ubuhlobo ngaphandle koxinzelelo, ngokwemigangatho ephantsi. Oku akunakubizwa ngokuba yintlukwano. Unokuthetha nje, cacisa umyeni wakho oko ufuna ukutshintsha kwimeko ekhoyo kwaye uphulaphule uluvo lwakhe. Emva koko, siza kuchaza iindlela ezidibeneyo eziphuma kule nkqubela. Le ndlela izokukunceda kwixesha elizayo ukukunceda uqonde indlela yokuphepha ingxabano kwintsapho. Kuphela kufuneka uhlaziye ngokukhawuleza izikhalazo zakho, uphulaphule amabango kuwe, uze ufike kwisigqibo esifanayo ukuze uphumelele kule meko.
Kodwa ngaphandle kwentsapho, usenabohlobo. Sithanda amadoda kunye nabantwana bethu kakhulu, kodwa kungakhathaliseki ukuba sibathande kangakanani, asikho abo bantu abakulungele ukujoyina naluphi na usuku kunye neyure, ukuxhaswa kumzuzu onzima kwaye sivuyiswe ngawe ngexesha elifanelekileyo lobomi. Ezinye iintsapho zinezihlobo ezifanayo, ezinye azikwazi. Kodwa kwenzeka kwakhona ukuba iingxabano zenzeke kuphela kwintsapho, kodwa kunye nabahlobo. Kwaye, ngamanye amaxesha, siyeke ukuthetha nabo.
Ewe, asifuni ukuhlukana nobudlelwane bobuhlobo, nangona kukho isizathu esibi kakhulu. Sifuna ukukhusela oku yonke into enokwenzeka, ngenxa yokuba uhlangene kakhulu kunye. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abaninzi bethu abakwazi ukugcina ubudlelwane, kuba abazi ukuba bangakuphephisana njani nabahlobo.
Ngaba nabahlobo kungcono ukuba ngabahlobo, kungekhona ukuqhuba ibhizinisi elidibeneyo okanye osebenza nabo. Oku kubakhokelela ekuxabaneni, kwaye ubuhlobo buphela apha. Emva kwakho konke, umhlobo wakho unokuba ngumntu olungileyo kunye nomlingane, kodwa emsebenzini awuvumelani kwiimbono nangezenzo. Kungcono ukuxelela omnye ngomsebenzi wakho nabasebenzi bakho bakucasulayo kunokuba ube ngumqeshwa onjalo kuye.
Abantu abaninzi bafaka ibha yeemfuno zabo kunye nabanye abazungezile. Lo mgangatho, mhlawumbi, unika ukuzinza kuluntu. Kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo uyayichaphazela ubudlelwane nabahlobo. Ngenxa yokuba umntu olungileyo unokukwazi ukwenza impazamo kwaye enze into embi. Ukuba unqumla ubudlelwane nabo bonke abakhubekayo kwaye wenza into ocinga ukuba ayiphuthayo, emva koko kuza kudlula iminyaka emibini, kwaye uya kugubha uNyaka omtsha ngokuziqhayisa. Zama ukuqonda isizathu salo mhlobo somhlobo wakho, kungekhona ukuba ube yindawo yakhe, emva kwayo yonke into.
Abatshatileyo banokubanceda xa isiqingatha sabo sichasene nabahlobo babo. Isizathu seengxabano zamadoda sihlala sisingxaki zezoshishino. Umfazi akanako ukusixhalabisa imeko, kodwa uncede umyeni wakhe abambelele iimbono zeemeko ezinzima. Unokuqinisekisa ukuba iqabane lakho lingaboni kunye nomsebenzi, kubaluleke kakhulu kubonxibelelwano olunobungane. Kodwa isizathu esiyinhloko sokuxabana phakathi kwabasetyhini ziingxaki zomntu. Amadoda, abo bawajonga njengento engathandekiyo, banokunceda umfazi wabo ukuba aqonde le nyaniso elula, kwaye ungathathi nto intliziyo yonke into apho umntu othile uthetha kakubi.
Ukuba unomsindo kakhulu ngomntu, qhubeka uzama ukulandela imigaqo-siseko yokuziphatha kwimeko yokuxabana. Kufuneka ujongane nesimo esithile, kwaye ungayi kumntu ngamnye. Udinga ukuthetha ngakumbi ngeemvakalelo, kwaye ungamgxeli umhlobo wakho. Awukwazi ukuqhubela phambili ukuxoxa ngamalungu entsapho kwaye uchukumise ngesihloko sabantwana. Musa ukusongela uze ulethe imeko kwigama "akakho".
Kubalulekile ukuzama ukujonga imeko kwihlangothi, ngamehlo omntu oqokelelwayo. Zibeke kwindawo yomhlobo wakho uze uzame ukuqonda izizathu zakhe. Kwakutheni ukuze enze oku, kwaye kungenjalo, kutheni watsho kanye oko akutshoyo. Ewe, konke ngenxa yokuba unemvakalelo kwaye unemizwa yabantu.
Musa ukucaphukisa umhlobo wakho kwaye uhlale naye ubomi bakho bonke. Emva koko, banokuvimbela ukubuyiswa kobudlelwane nomhlobo wakho kwaye akuyona indlela efanelekileyo yokuphatha isimo sakho sengqondo sempilo.
Ungesabi ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala ekuxolelaneni nomhlobo wakho kwaye uxolise. Ukuthetha intliziyo entliziyweni kwaye uqonde ukuba ingxabano yayingenalusizo, kodwa wawucaphukile. Ngo kunceda kwesi siza kuphumelela kuphela.
Khangela iminyaka embalwa ngaphambili kwaye uqonde oko kuza kwenzeka xa uphula ngokupheleleyo ubudlelwane bakho bobuhlobo. Ziziphi iimpawu kunye neqhinga leli lifumanayo. Emva koko unokwenza oko ukhetha. Sekunjalo, qhekeza ubuhlobo okanye uqhubeke nokukhoyo nakwixesha elizayo.
Yonke loo migaqo kunye neengcebiso esizikhankanywe ngasentla zinokukunceda uphendule umbuzo: "Indlela yokuphepha iingxabano kwintsapho kunye nabahlobo." Ngoncedo lwabo, uya kukwazi ukufumana iindlela zokuphepha iingxaki zengxabano, ungathobeki, kwaye ungadukisani. Baza kukunceda ufunde ukuxhuma ingqondo kwaye ucime iimvakalelo ngexesha lokutshatyalaliswa kwecandal. Emva kwakho konke, usapho kunye nobuhlobo bakho buxabiseke kakhulu, kwaye kungcono ukwenza imizamo kunye nokunye ukuzibamba ukuze ubalekele ukungquzulana kwintsapho kunye nabahlobo, kunokuba uzisole ngokunyamezela kwakho nokukhathazeka kwakho ngenxa yokuba uyaphukisa abantu bakho bomthonyama.