Ngokutsho kophando, ubulili obufanelekileyo bulala ngamashumi amahlanu ngosuku, lubonise isondo esinamandla - ukuya kwamashumi asixhenxe! Kodwa ukuqonda ubuxoki akulona nzima. Into ephambili kukuba uvule amehlo akho! Ukuba umnxibelelwano wakho "uhlambele ebuxoki nangenkohliso", jonga oko akutshoyo, kunye nesimo sakhe sobuso kunye nesenzo.
Ngoko, unoboni bokuqala kwaye wabiza kwindawo yokutyela epholileyo. Yonke into ifanelekile: uhlamba ngokuncoma kwinqabane lakho kwaye uphulaphule ngokucacileyo indlela yena, ebonakala engenakulungelelwano, eyazibeka kwiitoni ezilungileyo: unomsebenzi omuhle kakhulu, ungumphefumlo wenkampani, uyabathanda abantwana kunye nezilwanyana ... Kuvakala yonke into emnandi ukuba yinyani. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba kunjalo, eqinisweni: isazi senzululwazi uWade Rowatt safumanisa ukuba i-90% ikhethe ukulala kwangomhla wokuqala, kwaye kwimigangatho yokuqala yokuqala eyi-10 ngokuqhelekileyo bayikhohlisa kabini. Abanye bakhohlisi benza konke oku kunceda abo bafana nabo. Ngoko ke, sinobuchule kunye nokubethekisa, abafazi. Amadoda, ngakolunye uhlangothi, axoxwa ngabangendawo. Kodwa injongo ephambili yokukhohlisa kumacala omabini ukuvelisa ingcamango kumlingane.
Abathathi Bathuli
Ngama-35% kuphela othungelwano lwethu lwenzeka ngamazwi. Zonke ezinye izakhi - izibonakaliso, ukunyameka, ukubonakalisa ubuso kunye nabo bonke abakwaziyo ukulawula ngamabomu. Zonke iziganeko, njengomthetho, zihambelana nempawu ezithile, ezondliwa ngumzimba ngokuzimeleyo kwaye, emva kokuba uqeqesho oluncinane lungafundwa. Kodwa ekuqaleni kubalulekile ukufunda ezintathu zokupheka ezilula ezingenakudalwa.
Uvavanyo jikelele . Silandela ngokucophelela ukuziphatha komntu. Ngaba uhlala phantsi okanye atshintshe isikhundla sakhe ngezihlandlo? Kufuneka abuze imibuzo emithathu elula: apho ethanda ukuhlala eholide, yimuphi umculo ayithandayo ukuphulaphula. Kwaye emva koko kufuneka kulandelwe ngumbuzo-mgibe: "Ngokuqinisekileyo, kunzima ukuba ngumphathi? Uchitha njani usuku lwakho lomsebenzi? "Ukuba imeko yakhe yatshintshwa, ngoko waqala ukukhathazeka kunye nomsebenzi wakhe wamanga!
Imibuzo ebalulekileyo . Kuyimfuneko ukubuza imibuzo enjalo, ngesiseko apho, intlonelo ethembekileyo ayikwazanga ukubona inkohliso engcolileyo, kwaye umkhohlisi uya kuziva ephosa. Umzekelo: "Ndifuna iiluleko zakho. Umhlobo wam nentombazana unolwalamano olunzulu, kodwa nangona kunjalo, akayeki ukudibana nomntu onomva. Ndingayinceda njani ukuthetha nabo? "Abakhethiweyo abanyanisekileyo baya kunika isiluleko esinengqiqo, kwaye abangathembekiyo baya kubanjiswa" ngokutshisa "kwaye batshintshe ngokuziphatha kwakhe: uqala ukhathazeka, ehlazola.
Ukuchonga kwamanga . Ngexesha le ncoko, kufuneka utsho ukuba ngokukhawuleza uqonde amanga. Ukuba uvakalelwa ingozi yokubonakaliswa, ke ngoko ngexesha elilandelayo "elenga ezindlebeni zeeodle" uya kuba neentloni: bhanya, uthinte ngeenkcukacha zengubo, "zakha izindonga" (faka izinto etafileni phakathi kweendawo zangaphakathi).
Umkhombe wamanga
Njengomthetho, abantu badla ngokuthetha, kodwa bayakulibala ngokukhawuleza. Kwimiba enyanisekileyo, kwiimeko ezininzi, ubuqhetseba bufihlakeleyo-usebenzisa izi ndlela ezilandelayo, umntu unokuchaza intsomi:
Ukucaciswa kweenkcukacha . Umkhohlisi uphazamisa imbali, ukulibale ukukhankanya iinkcukacha. Ngokomzekelo, umfana wakho uthe wadibana nomhlobo kwi-cafe, kodwa uyakrokrela ukuba ukhona nomqeshwa wakhe omtsha. Xa ubuza umbuzo wesicwangciso: "Unobhala wakho omtsha wayenawe?" - awuyi kufezekisa inyaniso. Kubalulekile ukungena kwingxoxo enyanzelekileyo kwaye ubuze le ndoda kwimeko ababehlala kuyo, into ababeyigqoke ngayo nokuba yintoni umhlobo wabo egqoke ngayo. Ukuba ufuna ukuza nale nkcukacha, uya kuzikhupha: uya kuzicingela impendulo ixesha elide. Iinkcukacha ezingaphezulu zinokuqiniseka ukuba unyanisekileyo.
Ukuphulwa kwexesha . Ukuba umfana wakho usabonwa njengomnobhala, uya kufakalisa kuwe kwisitya isembali esenzeka kwii-shelf. Uya kuqala ukuba nomdla kwiinkcukacha, uya kuzama ukunamathela kulolu hlobo. Ukucacisa iinkcukacha, kufuneka zenziwe zibe neentloni kwaye iimpawu zobuxoki zibonakalise. Ukuba wayebonana nomhlobo, nangaliphi na umzuzu webali, ibinzana linokuzwakala: "Asizange sibheke nomhlobo ukususela iiguba zakhe zahlamba iwayini ... ".
Imiba ebomvu . Umqambimanga ulandisa ibali elilungiselelwe ngaphambili, libala ukubonisa iimvakalelo. Isithethi se nyaniso asikhumbuli nje kuphela iinyaniso, kodwa kunye neemvakalelo ezaziye zafumana ngalo mzuzu.
Iimpazamo ezibalulekileyo . Iinkcazo zolu hlobo: "Ngamangalisa, kodwa andiyikhumbuli", "andiyazi", mhlawumbi, bathetha ngokunyaniseka. Ibali elikhohlakeleyo lihlanganiswe ngokuqhubekayo, ngoko alinakho izikhala kwiimbulelo.
Ukuhlola ilizwi . Phantse i-70% yabaqhophololo bathetha ngamathoni aphakamileyo, ngakumbi abafazi nabantwana.
Ukubhuka okubi
Akukho mntu oza kuthetha ukuba kungcono xa umcuphi echitha. Kodwa ukuba akunakwenzeka ukubamba igama, ngezansi zibhalwa ngamagama alandelayo:
"Akunjalo!" - i-unnaturally igxininisa ukuthembeka.
Ukuphindaphinda kwemibuzo, iimpendulo ezingapheliyo: "Mhlawumbi", "Mmm" kunye no "Eh," ukuhleka, ukucwenga kunye nayo yonke into engahambelani nendlela yakhe yokunxibelelana.
Ukukhanyela ngeenkcukacha kunye neentetho eziqhotyoshelweyo: "Kulo mbazana andinanto" esikhundleni se "sVika".
Izimpendulo ezikhuthaza umoya wecala: "Njalo nje. Unokuba ungakanani umona ... ".
Ukubonakalisa ubuso obuso
Imvakalelo engu-7 - ukudabuka, ukwesaba, uvuyo, ukunyaniseka, umsindo, uthando kunye nokumangalisa - umntu ngamnye uvakalisa ngoncedo lweempawu ezifanayo. Zisetyenziswa ngokungazi, tk. babengamaqabane, ngoko ke, kunokwenzeka ukubonakalisa inkohliso. Umrhwebi oyintloko ngumonakalo obonakalayo, ubonakaliso obusweni, obungalawulwayo kwaye obonakalayo inxalenye enye yesibini ngaphambi kwegama. Buza, ukhangela amehlo enokukhathalela kwaye uqaphele indlela ukuqhuma kwexesha elidlulayo kuthatyathwa yinto yokumamatheka, kwaye ukuba kusekhona "ukujika", khumbula ukuba i-asymmetry ibonisa ukuba umntu ulala. Nangona kunjalo, jonga amehlo akho: ukuqhutyelwa kwezinto ezixakekileyo zesikhangiso ngethuba lencoko okanye impendulo enikezwe kumbuzo yinto yokuqala yokukhohlisa.
Indlela e si siseko
UPaul Mayer, isazi sengqondo seMerika, unikeza iingcebiso ezininzi malunga nokuqonda amanga:
Ukuchonga uhlobo . Ekuqaleni, kuyimfuneko ukubuza imibuzo engapheliyo kwaye ngexesha elifanayo ukufundeka ukuhleka, ukuziphatha, ukuziphatha, ubuso kunye nomntu ophendula ngayo. Iimpawu zinezinto ezibonakalayo kuphela zokuguqulwa kokuziphatha ngokuqhelekileyo.
Qo kelela ulwazi . Ukuba unesiqiniseko sokuthi umntu ufihle into ethile, mbuze imibuzo engenakukhawulelwa kwi-eweythi "ewe" okanye "hayi". Endaweni yegama elithi "Ngaba usenayo imvakalelo yangaphambili?" Kungcono ubuze "Yintoni eyabangela ukuhlukana kwakho?".
Sebenzisa intuition. Hlalani nithemba ilizwi langaphakathi!
Yizise ekupheleni . Ukuba ulawula ukugxotha umqambimanga kwikhonkco, akuyi kubandakanyekisa ukuba uyayeka ukulala. Phonsa ibinzana: "Ndiya kuqonda wonke umntu odibana nomntu ngecala, ukuba umfazi wakhe akanalo iimvakalelo!" Ngoko uya kukwazi ukufumanisa ngokukhawuleza kunokuba ufuna ukuba "Vuma!". Ngokutsho kukaPaula Meyer: "Abakhohlisi bafuna ukuthetha inyaniso - ubuxoki buzisa uxinzelelo oluqhubekayo! Into ephambili kukunika umqambimanga ithuba! ".