Abasetyhini balula. Umoya kaMama uvela kwimvelo. Xa ebona umntwana, abaninzi abasetyhini banomdla wothando nomvuyo. Kodwa akubona bonke abantu abakulungele ukuzala. Musa ukucaphukisa okanye ukukhonkxa kwintanda yakho, ukuba akanakuvakalelwa iimvakalelo ezifanayo. Makhe sihlolisise le ngcaciso ngokungakumbi.
Uyakuqonda njani ukuba indoda ilungele ukuba nomntwana? Hayi, akulula ukunikela impendulo kulo mbuzo. Makhe sijonge kwesi sihloko "ukusuka". Kutheni umntu engakulungele ukuzalwa komntwana.
Ngoku kuncinci ukufikelela kumntu oneminyaka engaphantsi kwe-25 oye wathola intsapho kunye nesithuba. Amadoda ngokwawo achaza oku ngeyona nto yokuba ayilungele le nyathelo elibalulekileyo, ukuba kufuneka bafike ezinyaweni zabo, bacinge ngemisebenzi. Kwaye ngokubanzi, umntwana unokuphazamisa indlela eqhelekileyo yobomi, kwaye abazange babe nexesha lokuziphilisa.
Uphando olutsha luye lwabonisa ukuba kungcono ukuba amadoda abe nabantwana abadala. Oku akungenzi nje kuphela ukuqonda ngokubanzi malunga nomvakalelo, kodwa kuchaphazela impilo yemntwana. Iingcali zenzululwazi ziye zabonisa ukuba indoda ekhulile inamathuba amaninzi okuvelisa umntwana ophilileyo kunomfana oselula.
Amanye amadoda athi abathandi abantwana. Iingcali zengqondo zithi le ngxelo ingenxa yokuba xa esemntwana, wayengathandwa. Kwaye nangona le mpikiswano ephakathi kwayo ikhona, utyalo lukayise alufi.
Ukwesaba kokungahlawulelwayo kuyathintela isimo sengqondo kumntwana. Emva koko, ukuzalwa komntwana kufaka uxanduva olukhulu kunxalenye yabazali bobabini.
Iingcali zengqondo zifumanise ukuba enye into yokuba indoda ingayilungisanga inzala yenzalo. Ewe, abafazi abathandekayo. Nomona kumntwana. Emva kwakho konke, ngaphambi kokufika komntwana, wahlawula yonke ingqalelo yakho kwindoda. Uloyiko lokuba kuya kufuneka uhlanganyele nomnye umntu, kwanomntwana wakho, akamvumeli umntu ukuba ajabulele uyise.
Ezinye izazi zeengqondo zikholelwa ukuba xa umntu engakulungele ukuba nomntwana, ke akayikho ithemba lokuba lo ngumfazi wakhe. Ngokuqhelekileyo unokuva isigama esithi "makhe silinde", "masilungise", enzima kubafazi ukuba bangathathi i-akhawunti yabo.
Inqaku elithandekayo kukuba abantu baninzi kunathi thina besifazane sinenkxalabo malunga nobuhle kunye nokuheha. Uloyiko lokuba emva kokuzalwa kobuhle bokuqala akuyi kuba namnye ulandelelwano, kwaye ushushise loo madoda. Akumangalisi ukuba kukho uluvo lokuba umntu kufuneka abe yingqiqo, kwaye umfazi kufuneka abe mhle.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, ungacingi ukuba amadoda akafuni abantwana nonke. Kwaye masithathe ingcamango yokukhulelwa okukodwa. Emva koko, kukho ezinye iimeko xa umntu ekhusela ngamandla ukuba anelungelo lokuba ngumzali, kwaye umfazi wakhe othandekayo uyamphendula ngamagama athi "alungele," "umsebenzi wokuqala, ngoko ke abantwana," "Ndisemncinci," njl.
Kufanelekile ukucamngca umbuzo, kodwa kuyimfuneko ukucwangcisa ngokuchaneka komntwana.
Emva koko, into ebaluleke kakhulu ngumnqweno onyanisekileyo wokuba nomntwana. Nangona ngexesha lokukhulelwa, unokwenza okuninzi: ukugqiba uqeqesho, ukuphucula uphuhliso lwezinto eziphathekayo, ukuphucula impilo. Akumangalisi ukuba abantwana babonwa njengenkuthazo enkulu yokuphila okungcono.
Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukucinga ubomi obonwabileyo nofezekileyo ngaphandle komntwana? Ndiqinisekile ukuba phantsi kwentliziyo yakho indoda yakho imele indlela edlala ngayo nendodana yakhe encinci okanye ikhupha intombi enomsindo evela kwintombi yakhe encinci. Ufuna nje ufumane inkalipho nomonde kwaye uchaze ukuba wakho umntwana akayikuphela nje ukwesaba kunye noxanduva, kodwa uvuyo olukhulu.