Umntu ngamnye uzama ukufikelela kwiinjongo ezininzi kunokwenzeka. Omnye uzama ukufikelela eziphakamileyo zomsebenzi, umntu uphupha ukufumana zonke iintlobo zemfundo, kunye nomntu ozama ukuhlala kwiindawo zokunethezeka. Nangona kunjalo, uvuyo lokufezekisa zonke iinjongo aziyi kuvakalelwa kakhulu xa kungekho mntu ulwabelana naye. Ukuxiliswa kungekudala kubangela uvuyo kunoma ubani. Kungekudala okanye kamva, wonke umntu ucinga ngomtshato. Emva koko, intsapho yenye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu kwisiseko solonwabo.
Kufuneka ulungele umtshato. Emva kwakho konke, ubomi bomtshato akulula kwaye kungabi namnyama njengoko kubonakala ngathi ukuqala. Ubomi bentsapho ngumsebenzi wemihla ngemihla yobafazi ukuphucula ubudlelwane, ukuseka uxolo kwintsapho kunye nokuqulunqa ukungabambisani. Amaqabane kufuneka akhe umgca othile wokuziphatha, ukuze ngamnye kube lula ukulungelelanisa indima entsha yentsapho yentsapho.
Xa ubuzwa indlela yokwakha intsapho eqinile, impendulo iyinto elula - kufuneka ube nolwazi olusiseko lweentsapho ezinamandla. Nangona kunjalo, "ukwazi" kuyisiqalo kuphela. Ukuqinisekisa ukuba ubomi bentsapho buvuyiswa ngokwenene, konke olu lwazi lufanele lusetyenziswe ngokusebenza. Ngoko, isiseko sentsapho eqinile nephilileyo kukuba:
Ukuhlonipha. Hlonipha iminqweno kunye nezinto ezithandekayo kwisiqingatha sakho sesibini, kuba wonke umntu unombono wakhe wobomi, omele uwamkelwe njengokuba kunjalo.
Ukunyamekela. Ngokuqhelekileyo kunokhathalela okuvumela abantu ukuba baqonde ukuba bafuna umntu.
Ukuncedisa. Emtshatweni, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuncedisa nokuxhasana kwiimeko ezinzima kunye nokujongana neengxaki kunye.
Ukwazi ukuxolela. Ngokuqhelekileyo phakathi kwabatshatileyo kukho ukungavumelani kunye nokuxabana, kodwa omnye kufuneka akhumbule ukuba akukho mntu uphelele, kwaye ukuxolela iimpazamo.
Ukuhleka kunye nokuzihlaziya. Ubomi bentsapho kaninzi buba buhlungu kwaye bubuhlungu kwaye bubilise kwiingxaki zemihla ngemihla. Khangela yonke le miqobo yokuzonwabisa, kuya kunceda ukomeleza intsapho, uchithe ixesha elingakumbi kunye, uhleka nje.
Uthando. Enye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu zentsapho. Khumbula ukuba isiqingatha sakho sesibini asikho kuwe ngokupheleleyo kwaye uyayixabisa loo mpawu owayithandayo xa udibana.
Kwihlabathi lanamhlanje, imitshato ihlala iphilileyo. Yaye ukuba ucinga ngako, oomkhulu kunye nogogo bahlala behlala ubomi obude kunye novuyo. Yintoni eyimfihlo? Kuvela ukuba babe neemfihlelo zabo ngendlela yokwakha intsapho eqinile kunye nobomi bentsapho obuhlala ixesha elide:
- Amaqabane kwintsapho iyonke. Wonke umntu kufuneka acinge ngobomi bakhe kungekhona kwindawo "Ye", kodwa esivela kwindawo "yethu". Ngokwabelana ngazo zonke iingxaki kunye nemihlali, abafazi baya kuziva bevuya ngakumbi.
- Ukwazi ukuyeka umsindo wakho. Ngaphambi kokuba ubonise ukunganeliseki kwakho nayiphi na isahluko sesiqingatha sesibini, kuyafaneleka ukuba sicinge ukuba ngaba oku kuza kuzisa into ebalulekileyo ebomini bakho. Mhlawumbi ufuna nje ukuzama ukuqonda umlingane (y).
- Isizathu sokuba imeko yongquzulwano kukuzijonga, kungekhona kumlingane. Kwiingxabano, ngokomthetho, bobabili indoda kunye nomfazi baya kuthi batyala. Ngokuqhelekileyo, iziphambeko zecandelo lesibini zibangelwa zizenzo zangaphambili zenye iqabane.
- Zama ukwenza into entle kwintsapho yakho rhoqo ngangokunokwenzeka. Jabulela esinye isiqingatha.
- Ngokusoloko kwenzeka ukuba emva kokuxabana, akukho mnye umtshato ofuna ukuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala ekuxolelaneni, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uzama ukungena kwixhwaba ngakumbi, esebenza kumgaqo "xa ndiziva ndibi, nangona oko kukubi kakhulu kuwe". Kodwa ngaba oku kulungile? Kumele kukhunjulwe ukuba ngeenyawo ngalinye kuwe, ukongeza uvuyo kunye nenjabulo, kwaye kunye nenyathelo ngalinye ukuya ecaleni, ukusuka kwintsapho, izikhalazo, iinyembezi kunye nokudumala zongezwa.
- Khumbula ukuba kufuneka uhlale uxhasana. Kwaye nangona izenzo zibaluleke kakhulu, ungalibali nje ngamazwi anomusa. Wonke umntu uyavuya ukuva ukuba nguye othandwa kakhulu. Kwaye nje amazwi avunyelwe atshisa umphefumlo.
- Thatha uxanduva malunga nezenzo zakho, kuba kubalulekile kungekuphela ukuqonda imbono yecalingani lakho, kodwa nokucacisa ngokucacileyo indima yakho kwimeko. Akuyena wonke umntu onokuthatha uxanduva kwizenzo zakhe, oku kukufanelekile kwaye, ngokungathandabuzeki, umgangatho obaluleke kakhulu owufunayo ukufundisa kuwe ukususela ebuntwaneni.
- Ebudlelwaneni beentsapho, ukuthembela kubaluleke kakhulu. Njengomthetho, ngubani okhohlisa, yena ngokwakhe akakholelwa. Ukunyaniseka kwabo bobabini bomtshato kuya kunceda ukuqinisa ubudlelwane beentsapho.
- Ungalibali ukuba kubalulekile ukwenza abahlobo kunye nabahlobo bakho besiqingatha, kwaye yena-kunye nabahlobo bakho. Emva koko, ubudlelwane bentsapho akufanele buqede ubungane.
- Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba akudingeki ukuba uthande umkhwekazi noninazala, kufuneka uthande omama ababini.