Ngamnye wethu uvakalelwa imfuno yothando, ukukhuselwa, ukunakwa, ukuqonda, ukunyamekela, oko kukuthi, sasiyifumana ntoni kubazali bethu. Ukuba oko kwakungekho kwintsapho yabazali, ke ithemba liyakhula ngakumbi. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha emtshatweni sididekile ngenxa yezinto zabo ezilindelekileyo.
Okokuqala, siza kuxubusha iingxaki ezijongene nabasetyhini: bajwayele ukugxininisa ngakumbi kwintsapho kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo bangabandakanyekanga kwiintlalontle noluntu. Enye yezona mpazamo eziphambili kunye eziqhelekileyo zilindeleke kakhulu kumntu othandekayo ukuba uya kukwazi ukuzalisa ubomi bakho ngenjongo. Abasetyhini ngokwemvelo bathambekele ekunxibelelweni kwe-symbiosis (symbiosis-fusion). Bayalindela iingxoxo ezide kunye nabo abakhethiweyo. Kodwa apha kukho ukungahambelani. Umzekelo oqhelekileyo: umyeni usebenza nzima ukubonelela intsapho, kwaye umfazi uxakeke kunye nendlu. Xa efika ekhaya ngokuhlwa, ediniwe, akafuni ukuthetha. Kwaye ulinde yonke imini ngeli thuba ukuthetha nomthandi wakhe. Ubomi obunomdla, ulinde kuphela iziganeko. Kukho izikhalazo, kwaye ngenxa yoko, uya kufuthula ngokukhawuleza, kwaye yena-ukuba abe nombono wokungabikho kwemfuno.
Ungakuphepha njani le ngxaki? Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukuqaphela ukuba nguwe kuphela onokukwenza ubomi bakho bube nenjongo. Umntu omdala unokufumana umsebenzi oya kumnelisa. "Khulisa" ngale ngqiqo ayisoze yaphela. Jongana nezicwangciso zakho kunye neminqweno yakho, uthathe ngokungqongqo-unelungelo lokuphumeza. Unokuya emsebenzini, nakwixesha lesigxina, ukugqiba iklasi yolwimi lwangaphandle okanye ukufumana ukuzilibazisa ngokwakho ngokwentliziyo yakho. Oku kuya kucebisa unxibelelwano lweentsapho: uya kuxela omnye nomnye malunga neentlobo zekhaya, kodwa nangenxa yokufumana kwakho. Kungcono ukufumana umsebenzi onokubambisana bobabini. Oku kuya kuba sisiseko soqhagamshelwano olupheleleyo, olunzulu.
Enye iphutha eliqhelekileyo yinkonzo kwizizalwane, umnqweno wokuzinikezela ubomi babo kubo. Ngeenjongo ezilungileyo, abafazi bahlala beyinyamekela iminqweno yabo, bayeke umsebenzi wabo ophumelelayo. Yonke le eyakhiwa kwingqungquthela yokuba kuphela ngale ndlela ungaba ngumfazi nomama omuhle. Ngentshiseko enkulu, ngamanye amaxesha umphumo ochaseneyo uphumelela. Umzekelo, umama ugxininisa yonke ingqalelo kumntwana aze aphile ubomi bakhe: kuyo yonke into ayincedayo, uyamkholisa umntwana okanye intombi esele ikhulile okanye inokulimaza ixesha lakhe, iminqweno, imikhwa yakhe. Ngenxa yoko, umama onjalo uphakamisa umntu omncinci kunye nobugovu. Kwaye ngexesha elifanayo akaziqondi ngokwakhe njengomntu wokuqala, umntu odala.
Okanye thabatha omnye umzekelo - umfazi uzizinikela kumyeni wakhe. Uvele nje adideke kuyo: ukhangele ibhola kwiTV, kuba uyamthanda umyeni wakhe, upheka izitya zakhe ezizithandayo kuphela, uthatha yonke imithwalo yemakhaya, nangona xa evakalelwa okanye enakekela umntwana. Ekuqaleni, isikhundla somfazi, unina, ozinikela ngokupheleleyo, uthanda izihlobo. Kodwa kunokufika ixesha apho umfazi onjalo uya kuba mnandi kubantwana kwaye ngakumbi umyeni wakhe. Unokulindela ukuba uya kukhangela omnye, umfazi oqaqambileyo, okanye uya kubona kuphela umfazi wakhe njengomkhonzi. Ukukhusela oku kungenzeki, ungazilahli. Njengoko kwathiwa kwintlekwane yamnandi "Cinderella", kuyingozi kakhulu ukuba ungayi kwibhola xa uyifanele. Zisebenze ngokwakho, wandise imida yelizwe lakho losapho. Ibhinqa elithandayo, njengomthetho, linomdla kwabanye.
Ngamanye amaxesha iingxaki zethu zidibene neengcinga ezingalunganga malunga nobomi bentsapho. Ngokuqhelekileyo sibafumana njengelifa elivela kubazali, nogogo nomkhulu. Kwaye, ukudala intsapho yethu, sithatha kunye nathi njengedola. Izicwangciso ziyimigaqo ethile esiyibambelelayo, ekukholelwa ukuba yinyaniso kuphela, kwaye kunzima ukuyilahla, kuba ivela ebuntwaneni. Ngubo "basitshoyo" ukuba indlela yokwakhiwa nokugcinwa kobudlelwane obuphilileyo kufuneka ihlelwe ngayo ebomini bethu. Izicwangciso azisoloko zivakaliswa ngabazali, kodwa ziyabonwa ngabantwana ababona kuphela lo mzekelo weentlobano zesini somtshato. Nangona singayithandi lo mzekelo, sisoloko sakha inkqubo efanayo yentsapho.
Umzekelo, umfazi, ebukela indlela abazali bakhe abaya ngayo kwi-dacha njalo ngeveki nganye, bakholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba kufuneka benze okufanayo nomyeni wakhe. Akazange acinge ukuba umyeni wakhe wayenomdla ohluke ngokupheleleyo kwaye waqonda ukuhamba e-dacha njengobundlobongela, inzame yenkululeko. Kwaye wamothuka xa wathi ngelinye ilanga: "Ukuba asiyithengisi i-dacha, ndiyifake umtshato." Okanye, umzekelo, enye imeko. Le ndoda yabona indlela unina angayilondoloza ngayo imifuno kunye neziqhamo ngonyaka. Kuye, oku kwakuyimodeli yokuziphatha kwempesheni efanelekileyo. Wayefuna into efanayo kumfazi wakhe, ecinga ukukwazi ukufama njengenye yeempawu ezibalulekileyo. Kwaye umfazi wakhe wayezithiyile ekwenzeni. Wayekhumbula indlela uyise omkhulu wayegqoka ugogo eengalo zakhe, kwaye wayekholelwa ukuba umyeni wakhe kufuneka aphathe ngendlela efanayo kuye. Ewe, mhlawumbi, ugogo wakhe unenhlanhla. Kodwa akubona bonke abantu abonisa iimvakalelo zabo zesisa kule fomu, abanye abakwaziyo ukuthetha amagama athando.
Asisoloko siqaphela ukuba umnqweno wokwakha umtshato ngendlela esiyifunayo inxulumene nokufakela okufuna utshintsho, ngaphandle koko intsapho iya kuwa. Azikho zonke iziseko ezimbi. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha bafika bephikisana ngokupheleleyo neengcinga zeqabane kunye nokubathintela ukuba bangaboni ezinye iindlela zokusombulula imiba, kuba indlela yabo ibonakala iyona yinyaniso kuphela. Ukuba kukho into efana nentsapho yakho, cingisisa malunga naziphi izimo ezikuqhubayo. Cinga ngento yakho okanye nge-psychologist, ingaba kunokwenzeka ukwakha ubudlelwane ngendlela eyahlukileyo kwintsapho. Into ebaluleke kakhulu kukubona oko bekufihliwe ngaphambili ekuqondeni kwakho.
Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, enye ingxaki yinkxalabo yobomi bentsapho. Imvakalelo idityaniswe, intsha iyanyamalala, ngosuku ngalunye olulandelayo lufana nelo elidlulileyo. Ngaloo nto iphosakeleyo, ingabonakaliyo, kukho ukungahambi ngokukhawuleza kwezinto ezibonakalayo. Bonke babone ukubonakala okukhanyayo kuqinisa umtshato. Zama ukuzisa into entsha, engavamile ebomini bakho. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba amashishini amasha kunye nezinto zokuzilibazisa abambe onke amalungu entsapho. Oku kudibanisa abazali kunye nabantwana, kwenza ulwalamano lwabo luhle. Amaqabane ancedo rhoqo ngamaxesha ukuba abuyele kwixesha lolwalamano olusithandanayo, ukutshatana, xa umkhwa wezinto ezintle uvakalelwa kwaye unxibelelwano aluzange luqikelele rhoqo. Khumbula: ngeli xesha, bobabini nicinga ngendlela engcono yokuchitha ixesha kunye. Nangona kunjalo, emtshatweni, ingakumbi ukuba ubude bamava bakhe bubalulekile, umbutho wexesha lokubambisana ngokufanayo, njengokuba kunjalo, uvumelekile ukuba usebenze. Kodwa akusiyo nto into yokuba ubomi bentsapho bufaniswa ngokomfanekiso nomlilo, apho kubalulekile ukuphosa "imithi" rhoqo. Kwaye umncinci umlilo, umgudu ofunekayo ukuwugcina.
Ukuba kuwe, ukunyamezela kunye ne-monotony ibe yingozi kwintlanano yentsapho-iza kunye nezinto ezinokwenza umsebenzi oqhelekileyo oqhelekileyo. Oko kungenzeki nje! Amageyimu apho abadala nabantwana banokudlala, iiholide zentsapho kunye neentlobo zokhuphiswano, i-candlelight dinner yokudla, ukuhamba, ukugibela ihashe kunye nokukhwela kweparachute. Ewe, oku kuyingcamango engabophiyo, kodwa iyanceda kakhulu, njengoko ikhulisa i-horizons yobomi bentsapho kwaye ishintshe utshintsho kuyo. Ngoko ungaba neentloni ukuphazamisa ukucinga kwakho.
Yonke into ekuncedayo inokukunceda ukuba wenze "umsebenzi kwiipazamo", ukwakha nokugcina ubudlelwane obuhle kwintsapho yakho. Ekugqibeleni enye inqaku: ungagcini amava akho. Ngokuqhelekileyo kuyo yonke intsapho kukho "amathambo emacaleni" - izinto ezingamkelekanga ukuba zixubushe kwizinto eziyimfuneko zokulondoloza uxolo noxolo. Zama ukuthetha kwiingxaki ezinzima-ngokuqinisekileyo, ngendlela ecacileyo. Yaye khumbula: akukaze kufike emva kokuqalisa umsebenzi ekubuyiselweni kwintsapho, into ebalulekileyo kukuthatha isigqibo nokuthatha isenzo.