Abantu abaninzi banengxaki ngenxa yeentloni. Isazi sezengqondo saseMelika uBernardo Carducci, umlawuli weziko lophando kwiYunivesithi yaseIndiya, wenza izifundo zokufunda. Kwaye kwathi ngaphezu kweminyaka eyi-15 edlulileyo ipesenteji yabantu abanentloni yenyuka ukusuka kuma-40 ukuya kuma-48 ekhulwini. Akumangalisi ukuba abantu abaninzi banomdla kwindlela yokuphula, ukunqoba ihloni, ukuthozama.
Izizathu zentloni nokuthozama
Ihlazo nokuthozama kunokuthatha iindidi ezininzi. Ukusuka kwintloni encinci kwiimeko ezintsha, ukwesaba okungenangqiqo kwabantu kunye nokuxhalaba okukhulu. Ukuba uya kwiseseshoni kunye neengcali zengqondo, mhlawumbi uya kuva ibinzana elifanayo: "Xa ndimele ndithethe kwiqela elikhulu labantu, ndivakalelwa kukuba. Ndiyesaba ukuba ndiyithetha izinto eziyinqatha ukuba abanye bandibukele ngenceba okanye ngcikivo. " Kwabaninzi, le meko iyayazi. Sisoloko sixhalabele ngendlela abanye abantu abasibona ngayo. Emva kobunzima beentloni akukho nje ukusola nje, kodwa kunye ne-narcissism - narcissism. Uthando lwethu ngokwabo luyakwazi ukulimala xa umntu ekhangelelana nathi okanye esigxekisa ingxelo yethu. Ukunyaniseka kwethu akulula lula ukuqinisekisa. Ukukhathazeka kwengqondo kubangela ukwesaba omnye umgxeka, nangona kulungile. Okokuthi, ingxaki ebalulekileyo yabantu abaziziingca-mlando kukugatya ukugxekwa. Kodwa kunceda kakhulu ukuphuhliswa ngokupheleleyo kobuntu.
Esinye isizathu sokungakhuseki kunye nentloni kukuphelelisa-umnqweno wokuhlala uhlala kuyo yonke into. Kuzo zonke iintsilelo zokuphila, umntu onjalo uyazibetha, ngaphezu kwayo yonke into, ngokwakhe: "Akuzange kusebenze, kuba ndiyindenge, ndingenathemba." Nangona i sizathu sokungaphumeleli ziinjongo zangaphandle zangaphandle ezingaxhomekeke kumntu onamahloni. Ukuze uphephe iimvakalelo ezingenakulinganiswa kwixesha elizayo, abantu abanjalo bayaziphepha abaqhelana nabo kunye nezenzo ezingenakuthenjiswa. Bayesaba ukucinga ukuba baya kuhlaselwa ngokutsha, okuchaphazela ukuzithemba kwabo. Umnqweno wokuba ngowona mhle kuyo yonke into, ngokuqinisekileyo, uyanconywa. Kodwa kufuneka kuqondwe ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba kube yinto engcono kakhulu! Sifanele silungele ukungaphumeleli ukwenzela ukuba sifumane amava kunye nexesha elizayo ukutshintsha imeko yethu. Kuyinto enomdla ukuba abantu abahamba phambili ngendlela ethobekileyo kunye neentloni, abantu-abagqibeleleyo bazicinga ngamaphupha abo njengeengonyama zezulu, iinkwenkwezi, abantu abazizityebi nabaphumelelayo. Kodwa bayesaba ukuqaphela iphupha labo ngokusebenza, ukuze bangabi nantoni.
Kukho ukuthobeka, abantu abanamahloni ngokweziko. Baye baziphatha ngale ndlela ukususela ebuntwaneni kwaye baqiniseka ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba utywaba ngumgangatho wendalo wokuziphatha. Abafuni ukuphula kwaye banqobe ukunyaniseka kwabo, kuba abayicingi ukuba lo mlingiswa ulingisa i-vice. Babona ngokwaneleyo ukugxekwa, kodwa kwiimeko ezingalindelekanga abazive bengenakuthatheka. Ngendlela, ukuthozama ngokunyanisekileyo kubangela intlonipho kubantu abaninzi.
Ungayinqoba njani intloni
Ukuba awuhlose ukunyamezela ukunyaniseka kwakho, kwaye ufuna ukuba "yintombazana yensimbi", ngoko unenkqubo ekhethekileyo yengqondo yakho. Ukuguqulwa kwentombazana enamahloni ibe yingonyama yokukhanya kudinga isibindi namandla, kodwa eqinisweni akunzima njengoko kubonakala ngathi.
- Qalisa ukuzalwa kwakhona kunye nokwamkelwa kweentloni zakho. Akukho nto iphosakeleyo, ukuba awukwazi ukukhawuleza ukufumana isikhalazo kwi-joke. Mhlawumbi unamathuba akho, yiloo nto kwaye ugxininise.
- Xa uthetha nabantu, zama ukuhlawula ngakumbi. Mamela oko abanye bathi. Unganqikazi ukubuza imibuzo. Umzekelo: "Uthetha ntoni xa uthetha malunga ...", okanye "Yintoni oyithandayo". Abantu bathanda xa benomdla kwimbono yabo. Kwaye ukwabelana ngombono wakho: "Ndicinga ukuba inomdla kakhulu", "Ndingathanda ukwazi oku malunga nale". Ezi ziindlela eziqinisekisiweyo zokugcina intetho. Kwaye oku kukwazi ukukwazi ukukwenza.
- Ukuthatha inxaxheba kwingxoxo, qiniseka ukuba ubuze imibuzo kwaye uphulaphule ngenyameko kumnxibelelwano. Ukuphazamiseka kungakhathaliseki ukuba akunakwenzeka! Naliphi na umnxibelelwano othanda ukuthatha ingqalelo kumntu wakhe. Ngenxa yoko, uya kukuphatha ngenceba.
- Yiba ngumqali weengxoxo ezikhawulezayo. Kulula kakhulu! Xa uthengela i-magazine egciniweyo, musa ukulahla imali kumthengisi kwaye ungabaleki njengesiqhelo. Yincoma kumthengisi, uphonsa amagama ambalwa malunga nemozulu. Ngexesha lokuhamba, dumisani umlenze wommelwane. Yena ke uya kuvuya. Ndiyabulela ezinjalo ezincitshisiweyo, udala umoya ophelileyo kuwe.
- Gxila kwiingxaki ezibalulekileyo zabanye abantu ukuba unako ukunceda into ethile. Ngeke uqaphele ukuba uyayikhohlwa njani intloni. Awuyi kuba nexesha loloyiko.
- Ungalilahli izibonelelo zokuhlala kunye nabahlobo enkampanini elungileyo. Ungesabi ukuba nguwe. Ukuba umntu ekumema, kuthetha ukuba uluntu lwakho luyavuya nalo.
- Funda ukuthobela ngokukhawuleza ukwenqaba komntu. Kukho ixesha elinokuhlala kukho imeko apho umntu engafuni ukuthetha nawe, akaphendulanga kumzamo wakho wokungena. Esikhundleni sokungqubana nomntu, kungcono ukudibanisa nabo osebenza nabo ngeenkcazo: "Umoya wakhe ombi", okanye: "Udla nje."
- Zibekele iinjongo zangempela. Ungazithembi ukuba le veki iya kuba yinkwenkwezi yesikrini somabonwakude. Kunoko, thembisa ukuza kwiphathi kwaye uthethe nabancinci abantu ababini. Qala encinci ukufezekisa ngakumbi!
- Yiba yingcali kwiphina indawo. Ngokomzekelo, ube ngumbonakalisi weencwadi zanamhlanje zesiFinnish ... Kubalulekile ukuba uya kuba nombono wokubaluleka kunye nokuyingqayizivele. Abanye abantu bangafunda into entsha kuwe.
"Jonga iindaba." Kufuneka ukwazi into eyenzekayo ngelixa ehlabathini, kwisixeko sakho nasemsebenzini. Ezi zihloko eziqhelekileyo kwingxoxo.
- Khumbula iziganeko ezithakazelisayo, ezisandul 'ukutshengisa. Nangona ibali lenzeke kuwe. Batshele bakho abahlobo. Ukubona unxibelelwano olumnandi, abantu baya kuzama ukuthetha nawe.
- Funda iincwadi ezikhethekileyo. Ngethuba elithandwa kakhulu yincwadi yenzululwazi yaseMerika uFilipu Zimbardo: "Uthotho. Yintoni na? Indlela yokujongana nale nto? ".
Khumbula ukuba into ebaluleke kakhulu yokubuyisela imfundo kukukhuthaza ukuguqula ukuziphatha. Akukho mqondiso weendlela eziqinisekisa iziphumo ezikhawulezayo. Ukujamelana neentloni, udinga ixesha kunye nomsebenzi wemihla ngemihla. Kodwa bulela umsebenzi oqhubekayo kunye oqhubekayo kuwe, kungekudala okanye kamva uya kuziva ukhululekile kakhulu.
- Yazi amandla akho kunye nobuthathaka.
- Hlola ukuziphatha kunye nezenzo, kungekhona ubuntu bomntu. Faka le migaqo kuwe nakwabanye abantu. Endaweni yoko: "Into endiyiphukuphuku" ithi kuwe "Ndisidenge kangakanani". Ibinzana lokugqibela libonisa ukuba ngexesha elizayo xa wenza isicatshulwa.
- Yenza uludwe lweempazamo zakho, kodwa ngeendlela ezikhethekileyo. Ngesiphene ngasinye, fumana izizathu zokuphikisa ezingabonisa amandla akho. Umzekelo: "Ndiyintoni na ithemba lam," kwaye ke "Ndihlala ndibanceda abantu, nangona bengazange bayayixabise into yam." Okanye: "Ndiyayikhohlwa yintoni" - "Kodwa ayiyikuxhamla."
- Khangela izizathu zokungaphumeleli kwakho, kodwa kwizinto zangaphandle ezingathembeki kuwe. Umzekelo: "Iprojekthi yam ayizange idlulele, kuba umphathi uyabavalelana nabasebenzi bamadoda."
- Thatha ixesha lokuphumla. Ukutshatyalaliswa nokuphumula uza kuqonda ngokucacileyo umdibaniselwano.
- Cinga ngezinto ozifunayo kwabanye abantu kunye nento onokubanika yona. Khangela oko unokukunceda nokubanceda abanye ekuxazululeni ingxaki ebalulekileyo. Kwakhona, ungalokothi ushiye uncedo lwabanye. Ngaphandle kokuba, ukuba uncedo luvela kwiinjongo ze-mercenary.
- Ungaziphoqeleli ukuba uhlale nabantu oziva nabo ngaphandle kwendawo. Njengoko bathetha, baya kuthatha kuwe ngaphezu kokuba baya kunika. Ukuba awukwazi ukutshintsha imeko, thintela oonobuncinane kumncinci.
- Ukuphazamiseka nokuxhwaleka kuyingxenye yobomi bethu. Ufuna nje ukuwamkela oku. Musa ukucaphukiswa yihlabathi lonke. Oku kwenzeka nje kuphela kuwe, kodwa kunye nabantu bonke emhlabeni. Khumbula ukuba emva kwebhodi emnyama, umhlophe uya kuza.
- Beka iinjongo zexesha elide ebomini. Kodwa isinyathelo ngasinye kwiphondo lakho, cwangcisa ixesha elifutshane. Uya kuba nako ukuvavanya inkqubela phambili kwaye uzikhuthaze kwisigaba esilandelayo. Xa ubona ukuba ebomini into ethile ivela, ukuzithemba kwakho nokuzithemba kwakho kuya kwandisa.
- Funda ukuzonwabisa ngezinto onayo. Iimnandi ezincinci, ezifana nesidlo esimnandi, ifilimu ethandekayo, ukuncoma, inika amandla amakhulu kwaye iqinisa isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo ebomini.
Xa usuqhekekile, gxotha ukunyaniseka kwakho, ukuthozama - unokufikelela eninzi ebomini. Nangona kunjalo, qaphela ukuba xa ufuna ukuzithemba, awuyi kuba nokholo, umntu ongenamdla kunye nomntu ongenamdla.