Indlela yomntu ngamnye kumntwana osenkulanga

Indlela ozalwa ngayo umntwana wakho, ngokuyininzi umisela umsindo kunye nokuziphatha kwakhe. Yintoni oyifunayo ukuba ukwazi ukufumana indlela yakho kubo bonke abantu? Iingcali zeengqondo zaseMerika zibeka phambili ingcamango: indawo umntwana ayithatha ngayo intsapho ngokubhekiselele kubudlelwane obuchaphazelekayo kuthinta ubuntu bakhe. Ngokombono wabo, abazali bahlala becinga ukuba banomntwana omncinci kumntwana omdala kwaye balindele ukuba uya kuba ngumzekelo omhle kumntwana omncinci. Olu luhlobo lweempawu ezithile kwizingane ezindala, ezifana nokuzimela, ukugcinwa kwemali, ukunyamekela, injongo.

Bafuna ukugcina umyalelo okhoyo kunye nokunyanzela utshintsho. Omncinci, ngokuchaseneyo, ekubeni yindlaliba yabo bonke abaxhasiweyo, abakhulayo, abanokukhathalela, abavulelekile kwintsha. Kodwa iimvakalelo zabo zivame ukuphikisana, kuba, ngakwelinye icala, zizilwanyana zezilwanyana, kwaye kwezinye iindawo, zihlala zilahleka emva kwamanye amalungu entsapho, kwaye oku kuchaphazela ukuzithemba. Umyinge uyanyanzelekile ukuba aqonde imithetho yokudibanisa kunye nezipikili ezincinci ukuze ugcine ubudlelwane obuhle kunye nomzalwana omdala okanye udade kunye nomncinci, ngoko "ophakathi" ngokuqhelekileyo unesidima, unxulumane nabantu, uguquguqukayo kwaye uvelwano luphuhlisiwe. Kodwa umyalelo wokuzalwa mhlawumbi awuyiyo eyona nto kwaye ayiyona nto yodwa. Ukwabelana ngesondo kubalulekile, inani lamalungu entsapho, umahluko phakathi kweminyaka phakathi kwabantwana. Imoya kwintsapho kunye nemeko yayo yoqoqosho, ukuhanjiswa kwemisebenzi phakathi koomama noyise kunye neempembelelo zangaphandle kuthintela kakhulu intsapho. Kodwa asikwazi ukungavumelani ukuba umyalelo wokuzalwa ekhaya usichaphazela kakhulu abantwana kwaye unokuba negalelo ekubonakalisweni kweempawu ezithile. Indlela yomntu ngamnye kweso sikolweni kufuneka ixhomekeke kwimeko yomama wengane.

Ozelwe kuqala

Ngethuba elithile umntwana omdala uhlala kwindawo eyodwa yentsapho (ngokuchaseneyo nabantwana abalandelayo), yonke ingqalelo yabazali igxila kuye, yonke inothando kunye nokunakekelwa kuye. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza xa umntwana esetyenziselwa isikhundla esilungelo, imeko iyatshintsha. Ngoku akayekanga nje kuphela ukuba abe yedwa, kwaye unyanzelekile ukuba abelane ngolunye usana nabazali, kodwa kunye nokufumana isimo esitsha "somdala" ufumana yonke imithwalo enzima ehambelana naye, apho engakulungelekanga kwaye engathandi. Izidingo zomntwana zikhula ngokukhawuleza, isimo sengqondo sabazali, njengomthetho, asitshintshi ukuba kube ngcono, emva koko, unina ulungelelanisa inxaxheba entsha. Ekuqaleni, isabelo seengonyama zabazali sihlawulwa ngunyana, asikwahluleki ngokulinganayo, ngoko ke, owokuqala oye waqhelisela ukunyamekela ngokubanzi ufumana inxalenye yakhe yothando ngokudlula okanye ngomgaqo ohleliyo. Ngako oko, simele sinyamekele ukuba utshintsho olunjalo aluyi kuba, lukhuni, kwaye luyimfuneko - ngokweqile.

Iingcamango zengqondo

Iiplathi ezininzi zihlala zihlala zikhulile, zinokuzimela, ukuzimisela, uxanduva, ukubonela phambili. Abantwana abakhulileyo ngokubanzi banengqondo ephezulu kunabantakwabo kunye noodade babo abancinci, kuba kubakho abazali abalindele ngaphezu kweminye, kwaye bancinci. Ngenxa yoko, abazali abaninzi bahlakulela kumazibulo: banako ukuba ngabacebisi, banako ukuthatha uxanduva kwaye benze njengenkokeli. Iintsilelo Umthwalo wale mbopheleleko ngamanye amaxesha uphenduka unzima kakhulu kumntu omncinci, kwaye ukhulisa uxhalaba olwandisiweyo. Ngeli xesha, umntwana ukhangele igalelo leenguqu eziye zavela, kwaye ekubeni abantwana bavame ukuzitshitshisa ngokwabo yonke into, ukucinga kwabo okunengqiqo kaninzi kungekho kubo. Kwaye ngoko kwimeko yengane ngokukhawuleza kukho ukulila, ukungathobeli, kunokubakho ukuphazamiseka kokulala okanye uloyiko oluthile, umntwana uqala ukugula okanye ukulungiswa. Isizathu esona kuphela ukungabikho kokuqwalaselwa kwangaphambili. Awudingi ukwenza umntanama ukusuka kumazibulo. Khumbula ukuba, ngaphezu kwayo yonke ingumntwana, kwaye sele sele ungumncedisi wakho. Bonisa umntanakho ukuba uyayixabisa kangakanani uncedo lwakhe, udumise kwaye umsekele. Nangona kunjalo, qaphela ukuba abazalwana kunye noodade abancinci abawuthwali mthwalo omkhulu umzalwana omdala, ukuba kuyimfuneko, ukulungele ukumela ukhuseleko lwendawo yakhe kunye nezinto zakhe. Ngokuqhelekileyo ukubeka ingqwalasela yabantwana bokuqala kwiintlobo zobukhulu bakhe. Abantwana abakhulu bavunyelwe ngaphezulu. Vumela umntwana omdala ngezinye izikhathi ube mncinci, hlala ezandleni zakho, usele kwibhotile okanye ulale phantsi kwisibhedlele somntakwabo omncinci.

Umdla wakho

Umntwana ngamnye makabe neemidlalo zakhe, iincwadi kunye namaphephancwadi, kunye nokubanzi, kwizifundo ezidibeneyo. Umzekelo, vumela umntwana omdala abhale iphephancwadi malunga neenqanawa, intombi ephakathi-malunga namahashe, kunye nentsha-malunga nobomi bezilwanyana, umbala okanye ipuzzle kumncinci. Khuthaza abantwana ukuba bahloniphe impahla yomntu ngamnye kwaye, ukuba kuyimfuneko, babuze imibuzo kanye kunye. Intsana nganye iya kufumana ikhefu elizodwa, eliya kuhlukana nelinye. Oku kuya kukunika isizathu esongezelelweyo sokunyamekela abantwana abancinci, abaphakathi kunye nabakhudlwana ngokuhlukileyo, bejonge kwaye bafunde nabo iincwadi zabo zeendaba.

Phakathi

Ukulinganisela akulula! Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umdala uyamjonga nje, ngenxa yokuba wamnciphisa indima ehloniphekileyo yodwa umntwana. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, yena ngokwakhe akayithandi umntwana wesithathu, ngenxa yokuba wamnciphisa isikhundla sakhe esincinci. Ngenxa yoko, isithwathwa semvakalelo ephikisanayo kunye nobunzima bokumisela isimo sabo kwintsapho. Umyinge osemyingeni akanalo ithuba lokufumana indima yenkokheli, edlalwa ukuba yindoda yokuqala, kodwa akanakho ixesha lokuthatha inxaxheba yomgcini. Ngexesha elifanayo, uya kuziva ukuba imfuno evela kuye ingaphantsi kweyokuqala, kwaye oku kuya kubangela ukuzola. Kodwa ngelo xesha, ngokucacileyo akanakunakwa. Ingane enjalo inyanzelekile ukuba ihlale ikhuphisana kunye nomdala onamandla kwaye onamandla kwaye unomntwana ongenakunceda. Mhlawumbi, awuqapheli iimpumelelo ezininzi zomntwana osemyingeni? Emva koko, "omtsha" okwenziwa ngumntwana wesibini, abazali sele 'badlulile' kunye neyokuqala, ngoko abazange basabele ngayo.

Iingcamango zengqondo

Iinkonzo: Umntwana wakho oqhelekileyo unokuthetha, ufumane ingqalelo phakathi kwabahlobo bakhe. Mhlawumbi uya kuthatha isikhundla somenzi woxolo kwimida yomntwana wokuqala kunye nomntwana omncinci, kwaye oku kuya kukhulisa amandla akhe okuxoxisana. Ngokuqhelekileyo ezi ntwana zibonakaliswa ngokuthotyelwa, ukuguquguquka, ukudibanisa, ukuxhamla. Ukususela ebuntwaneni, umntwana oqhelekileyo unyanzelekile ukuba axoxisane nabantu abahlukeneyo, kwaye oku kulungile kuye, ufundisa ukuhambelana nomntu wonke, abe nomdla, uqikelele kwaye akaqinisekanga. Isiphambili esona siphumelele kwimpumelelo yomntwana oyingqingquthela unamandla kwizinto ezizodwa. Bhala umntwana kwisifundo segitare, umxelele kwindlela yobugcisa kunye nokumfundisa ukuba enze iityshi ezithakazelisayo, kumncede ukuba azifumene ngokulandelelanisa okanye athathwe yi-teknoloji elawulwa yi-radiyo. Makungabikho mpikiswano kulo mbandela, ngoko uya kuzuza ukuzithemba nokuhlonipha kwisangqa sabazalwana nodade. Kuyabonakala ngathi indawo yesibili inyana eyingqinileyo ithatha kwintsapho ayimvumeli ukuba ibalekele kwezinye izinto ezintle phezu kwabazalwana noodade, akayena mncinci kule nkululeko, nokuba nguyena mdala kunabo bonke. Kodwa unokunceda umntwana wakho ngokusebenzisa "ukudibanisa". Ngabalandeli bakhe, into ebalulekileyo yokudibanisa ihlanganiswe, umzekelo, ukuya kumafilimu. Ngamanye amaxesha makabe "mncinci", makabone i-cartoon kunye nomncinci. Mbonise ukuba yena, ngokuchaseneyo, unokufumana ithuba lokusebenzisa amathuba amabini. Kwaba lula kulabo bazali abaneentlobo ezahlukeneyo zabantwana kwintsapho. Kule meko, isimo "somntwana osemyingeni" singathatyathwa yimo "yomzalwana omdala" okanye "umntakwabo omncinci". Emva koko umntwana oqhelekileyo uya kuba lula ukuqonda isikhundla sakhe kwintsapho, kwaye abazali banquma inani leenzuzo zakhe kubantwana.

Dumisa rhoqo

Eyona ncinci ihlala kunye kunye nokungakhathali, ukunyamekela, ukuhlaselwa. Aba bantwana bavame ukuba nobuciko, nto abayidingayo ukuze bahlale behlala kwinqanaba lomntu wonke. Ngexesha elifanayo, omncinane, kunye nomphakathi ophakathi, ufunda ukuxoxisana ngokuthula, ukuphuhlisa izakhono zezopolitiko, kuba uyaqonda ngokukhawuleza ukuba amandla okufeza injongo (ekudibanisaneni "ophezulu" kunye "ophakathi" ongenamandla) ayisebenzi. Abantwana abaselula bayathandwa ngabaontanga babo kwaye banako ukuhambelana nabantu.

Umncinci unikezelwa ingqalelo enkulu kwaye uxolelwe ngaphezu kwabanye. Ukusebenzisa lonke ixesha ukuxhomekeka kuncedo lwabadala, uhlala ehlutha phambi kobunzima kunye nokuzinikela ngokukhawuleza. Ngokuqhelekileyo, unqatshelwe ukuzithoba kwaye ubhekane nobunzima ekwenzeni izigqibo; ejwayele ukunyamekela kwintsapho kunye nokugqithiseleka, incinci ikhula ihlambe, incinci kwaye ixhomekeka, ingaqala ukubonakalisa ubugovu, umnqweno wokuhlala ufuna.

Isiteshi ngendlela efanelekileyo

Ukuze ungayonakalisi i-crumb, setha isakhelo sokukhangela kunye nokuphepha udumo olugqithisileyo nolungenangqiqo. Kodwa awukwazi ukuthetha ukuba "udumise ngetyala": xhoma kumdwebo wamagnet, awawuchukumisayo ngenkuthalo. Nangona isiphumo sishiya into enqwenelekayo, loo nto izakuvuselela intsha kwimigudu emitsha. Xa into engayisebenzeli yona kwaye iyacaphukisa, yondla i-crumb, yaqinisekisa ukuba yonke into iya kuvela. Musa ukuyihoxisa nayiphi na impumelelo, nangona zibonakala zibonakala kuwe: inxaxheba yakho kunye nobutyebi kuya kuqinisa ukuzimisela kwakhe ukufunda izakhono ezintsha ngaphandle kokujonga abantwana abadala. Umsebenzi wakho kukukhuthaza ukuphuhliswa komntwana omncinci nokukhuthaza ukuveliswa kwamakhono kunye neemfuno zakhe. Ngandlela-thile, omncinci uzama ukufumana abadala bakhe bonke ubomi bakhe, kodwa uya kuphumelela kuphela ngenxa yokuthambekela kwakhe. Qinisekisa ukuba omncinane naye uthatha inxaxheba kwimisebenzi yasemakhaya. Ukuba uhlala ukhulula umntwana wesithathu kwiinkxalabo, kuba "uncinci!", Oku kuya kubangela ukunganeliseki phakathi kwabantwana abadala, ukuxininisa ubudlelwane phakathi kwabantwana. Fundisa umntanakho ukuba asebenze-fumana umsebenzi onokuqala ongayenza, umntwana kufuneka angava nelungelo elikhethekileyo, elingayisebenzisi imithetho yasekhaya. Musa ukukhuthaza umkhuba wokunyundela nokunika ingxelo kubazalwana nodade abadala. Fundisa umntwana wakho ukuba afune amagama afanelekileyo okuthetha naye nomntakwabo okanye udade ngaphandle kokubandakanya abantu abadala.