Indlela "yokuphila abantwana" kunye neendlela zokukhulisa abantwana kubazali kubonisa ukuba abazali baninzi, abanengqiqo, abantu abadala baqhayisa ngaphandle kokwesaba nokuhlambalaza, kwaye kufuneka bancede abantwana. Ngaphakathi kwesi sikhokelo, kudlalwa ukuba kukwahlule ukwahlula phakathi kwabantwana ngokulinganayo, kungekhona ukuphula umthetho ngamalungelo omntwana omdala, kungekhona ukumnciphisa iintlawulo eziqhelekileyo-zombini ngokubhekiselelana noqhagamshelwano (funda iindaba zeenkwenkwezi zobusuku, zibambe izibambiso), kunye nezinto eziphathekayo (ungafuneki ukunika umntwana amathoyizi).
Indlela "yezinto eziphilayo" ibonisa ukuba umntwana wenza utshintsho kwiintsapho ngokupheleleyo, ngeendlela ezithile utshintsho lwabazali kunye nosana olusakhulayo, oluchaphazela ulwalamano kunye nokudibanisa phakathi kwamalungu entsapho, kwaye wonke umntu ufuna uncedo nenkxaso. Le ndlela ibonisa ukuba umntwana omdala abe nxaxheba ngokulinganayo ekwakheni entsha, enyanisweni, intsapho. Ngokuqhelekileyo, le yinkqubo enzima kunokuba kunzima ukunika iingcebiso, kuba intsapho "eco-friendly" yikho, ngaphezu kwayo yonke, ubuchule bomntu ngamnye kunye kunye kunye nesiphumo sokugqibela esingalindelekanga. Nangona kunjalo, kucingelwa ukuba nayiphi na imvavanyo kule ntsapho ingasetyenziselwa ukukhula komntu wonke amalungu ayo kwaye ngokubanzi.
Isitayela " sokugunyaza " seendlela zokukhulisa abantwana kubazali sicacisa ukuba umntwana omdala uhlala kwimeko esakhiwe ngabantu abadala. Ngoko ke, umsebenzi walo ukulungisa nokuthatha zonke izigqibo zabazali njengoko kunikwe. Ngoku ke lo mzekelo awunako "ukuqonda," kodwa ngokwenene iintsapho ezininzi zikhona ngokuchanekileyo ngale ndlela, kwaye akusoloko ihamba ngokubi: ubomi kwisimo esiqinileyo kodwa esiqondakalayo somntwana akubunzima ngaphambi kokuqala kwexesha lesiguqulelo. Kwaye ke akusoloko umntwana ephethwe yinto eqhelekileyo-ininzi kuxhomekeka kwiimeko apho intsapho iphila khona, kunye neempawu zobuntu.
" Intsapho " intsapho ibonisa ukuba izigqibo zamalungu entsapho zithathwa ngumnye umntu. Ogogo kunye noomkhulu bavuma ukuba ngaba baya kukwazi "ukudonsa" omnye umzukulu. Abazali bavame ukucela umntwana omdala "imvume" yokuzala umzalwana okanye udade, ngaloo ndlela abeka uxanduva kuye ngenxa yezenzo zakhe.
Abazali abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba umntwana osisithuba seenyanga ezintandathu okanye esincinci akakwazi ukuqonda iindaba eziza kuba khona omnye umntwana kwintsapho. Ngoko ke, akwazi ukwazisa malunga nento eyenzekayo. Umama usalidlala naye, akukho nto iguquka ebomini bakhe, iziganeko zikhula ngendlela yabo, kwaye emva kwexesha elinye umntwana ubonakala endlwini. Kwaye inyaniso: ngaba kunengqiqo ukubeka phambi komntwana oneminyaka engama-50 ubudala, jonga amehlo akhe kwaye uthi: "Siza kudala omnye umntwana"?
"Intsapho" yokutshata iya kuthi cha. Into emele ilungiselelwe umntwana iselekalala komama ixesha elithile (xa kuya kufuneka ukuba aye esibhedlele). Umntwana kufuneka achaze ukuba umama "waya kwintsana", into ephambili - uzama ukuhlawula ngokwaneleyo umntwana omdala kunye nomonde nokuqonda ukunyanga ukuba unokuqala ukuziphatha "njengomntwana", ufuna "sisyu", uzame ukuphindaphinda kwakhona kwiipen, nangona ngaphambi kokuba unomdla ngakumbi ekuphuhliseni amathoyizi.
"Intsapho enobungane" iya kuzama ukubandakanya umntwana ngexesha lokulinda i-crumb kwaye imisele ezinye iindlela zokukhulisa abantwana kubazali. Olu hlobo lentsapho luhlonela ingcamango yokuba ngisho neentsana ezincinane ziqonda yonke into. Ngomntwana kufuneka uthethe ngokunyanisekileyo, nangona xa esesiswini. Ngako oko, abazali beli garaji bazisa rhoqo umzalwana ngokuphathelele umzalwana wakhe okhulayo, mthabathe naye kwiimviwo - ngegama, bathi yonke into eyenzekayo. Abaxhasi bendlela yokulawula abayi kuxoxa ngezingane "abadala" imibuzo. Leli lilungelo, kodwa ungakulibali ukuba umntwana akayi kuqonda ukuphungula okukhulayo: umama unqamle ukuthabatha ezandleni zakhe, umntwana usithunyelwa kukhulu wakhe ixesha elide. Akunjalo rhoqo nale ndlela phakathi kwabantwana kuya kuba nobuhlobo obubi. Imida engqongqo ayibangele ukuba kuhlukaniswe. Nangona kunjalo, umntwana angachaza ngokucacileyo iziganeko ezungeze ngaphandle kokuqhagamshelana nabantu abadala.
"Intsapho" intsapho ihlala ifuna ukufumana uncedo kunye nezinto zokwenyama ekunakekeleni abantwana ngexesha elibunzima lokukhula kwabo. Ngokuqhelekileyo umntwana omdala uthunyelwa ku-ugogo kungekudala ngaphambi kokuvela komntwana wesibini, ukuze unina aziva ephucule. Kulo mzekelo, abazali kufuneka bakhumbule ukuba umntwana uhamba ngokugqithisa ixesha elide kumama wakhe, ukuba akusiyo ishishini lakhe eliqhelekileyo.
Icebiso
Xa uthabatha inkunzi yeengane, ungathetha naye "kwisisu". Inkqubo ye-psychoanalytic ibonisa ukuba umntwana omdala akayi kubangela ubukhwele, kodwa ngokuchaseneyo, kukuthetha rhoqo ngolutsha oluya kwenza kube lula kuye ukuba amkele ilungu elitsha lentsapho njengoko linikeziwe. Into ephambili ayiyikuyidlula. Kuzo zonke iindlela zokukhulisa abantwana, abazali bafuna intsingiselo yegolide.
Iingxaki zeengxaki
Ngokuqhelekileyo , ukuhluka kweminyaka kubantwana kweminyaka engama-3-5. Umntwana omdala le yinkqubo enzima kunendlela yokukhulisa abantwana kubazali, kuba ubeka uxhulumaniso kunye nehlabathi langaphandle, kodwa usexhomekeke kubazali bakhe. Kwi "ntlekele yeminyaka emithathu" wonke umntu uyayiva yonke into: inkwenkwe iyafuna, inomnqweno, ihlale ingenangqondo. Ukongezwa kwintsapho akugcini nje kumenze avuyiswe, kodwa naye unikezela "ukuphindaphinda" ekuphuhliseni: inkunzi yenqanawa iyalahla yonke intshukumo yakhe kwaye iqala ukubhalwa kwintanethi, icela ipenki, ilandele umnwe kwaye yenza ihlazo ukuze umntwana wesibili 'anikwe ngokukhawuleza.'
Ngaba oku kunokuthintela?
Indlela yokusebenzisa abantwana kunye neendlela zokukhulisa abantwana kubazali zibonisa ukuba kunokwenzeka ukukhusela kunye nokujongana neengxaki, kodwa xa kwenzeka ukuba izibulo liza kunakwa kwaye zinyamekele. Abazali bacetyiswa ukuba benze konke okusemandleni ukwenzela ukuba ubunzima bokukhulelwa kuncinci kangangoko kunokwenzeka ukuba bubuhlungu umdla wengane, ngoko umama uya kusebenzisana naye, ukuthetha, ukudlala. Umntwana uxelelwe ukuba kumkhwenyana umzalwana wakhe ukhula, ukuze bakwazi ukudlala kunye. Ngokuqhelekileyo umntwana uholwa ekubeni ufuna umzalwana okanye udade, iqabane lokuzonwabisa kunye nokuzonwabisa, kwaye ke unyanzelekile ukuba alinde ixesha, ngelixa esencinane kwaye engenanomdla.
"Intsapho enobubele" inentsapho ikhulelwa kunye. Umntwana oneminyaka emithathu uthathwa njengomdala kakhulu ukuqonda oko kwenzekayo. Ukwaziswa ngokukhulelwa kwasekuqaleni, uxelele ukuba unina unokuba nzima kwaye unobungozi, bafundisa ukuba bayinyamekele kuye, kungekhona nje "ukugxotha" ingqalelo, kodwa kunceda kwakhona: umzekelo, ukunyathela umama xa efuna ukulala , into yokunika, ukuzisa, ukufumana njengomvuzo wokubulela. Kule ntsapho, ilanga elizayo lingafaneli lidwetshwe ngemibala yemvula, ilumkisa umdala onokukhala, uya kuhlala ehleli nonina, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo uchaza indlela ukuzalwa kwezibulo elidlulileyo ngayo, cacisa ukuba umntwana osandul 'ukuzalwa engenakunceda, ukwesaba konke, akanakwenza nto ngokwakhe , ngoko ufuna ngokwenene intsapho yakhe. Umntwana omdala unokunikwa, ukuba ufuna, into enokwenzela umzalwana ozayo: khetha i-suit kwisitoreji, udwebe umfanekiso, ucinge ngendlela anokunyamekela ngayo. Bachaza ukuba umntwana uya kuba ngumama-papin, njengokuba umama kungowoyise nabantwana, oko kukuthi, uluntu lwentsapho, ukuxhasana, kunye neemfuno zomnye zigqitywa ngazo zonke iindlela.
Kwintsapho "yobulungisa", umntwana omdala angabonakala njengomthwalo kunye nomqobo kumncinane. Ngokuqhelekileyo akavumelekanga ukuba abonise iimvakalelo ezimbi kwiintsana. Ukuba umntwana uthi akafuni naluphi na abazalwana, abayixubusha nalo mbandela naye, kodwa bahlazo okanye bamgxeka. Ngamanye amaxesha ubona usongelo: into yokuba uziphatha kakubi okanye unyuke ezandleni zikayise, unokulimaza umntwana. Umntwana uphuhliswa ngokukhawuleza, ufuna ukuba "ukuziphatha kwabantu abadala" kunye neendlela ezifanayo zokukhulisa abantwana kubazali. Esi siqhinga esichengileyo, ngenxa yokuba ukuzithemba komntwana kuhla, kwaye isimo sengqondo esichaphazelekayo senziwa umntwana ozayo, nangona umntwana engakwazi ukuyiqonda, ukuqhubela phambili kwi-subconscious.
Kwintsapho "encinci", impendulo yomntwana ivumelekile ukuba ihambe yodwa: iyaqhubeka kwaye iqhubekile, kodwa inkwenkwe isoloko ixelwa ukuba uyayithanda kakhulu kwaye ngezinye izikhathi ichithelwa "ngeholide yobomi." Akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngale nto, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana kwiintsapho ezinjalo, ukuba bengathunyelwa kubazali nootatomkhulu, banokuba nobungqina kwixesha elizayo. Ukuba umntwana ngokwemvelo unengqondo eguquguqukayo kunye nokulungelelanisa ngokukhawuleza kuyo yonke into entsha, yonke into iya kuba yinto emangalisayo.
Icebiso
Iingcali zengqondo zikhuthaza iintsapho ezizimeleyo ukuba zilandele indlela "yokuziphatha" kunye neendlela zokukhulisa abantwana kubazali babo, ukuze bangalimazi umntwana omdala.
Umdlalo wesicwangciso
Kwiintsebenziswano nabantwana abadala, izicwangciso zabazali azifani kakhulu nazo zichazwe ngasentla. Yaye nganye ihamba nayo ngokuqhubekayo, xa i-crumb isele izalwe. Ingozi eyona nto ayikukuba ilayishe umntwana okhulileyo ngokunyamekela umntwana omncinci. Ukuwusebenzisa njengomntwana kunye nokunyamekela ubomi bakhe ekunyamekeleni umntwana ngaphezu kokuthanda kwakhe kulungile, oku kubangela ubugwenxa nokubhikisha okusemthethweni: "Andizange ndicele ukuba ubelethe."
Zama ukuphakamisa ingqalelo yomntwana omdala ngendlela umntwana amphatha ngayo, cacisa ukuba umzalwana okanye udade omkhulu unokumnika ntoni, kwaye oku kuya kuba sisikolo esihle sokuphila, uthando kunye nomonde kuye. Kwaye kungakhathaliseki ukuba uneminyaka engakanani umntwana wakho, akufuneki ukuba "uphelele" kunye "nothando" ngaphandle kokungabikho. Unelungelo lokuthukuthela kwiimvuthu zeenguqu ebomini bakhe - bhetele uxoxe ngazo, kwaye ungaqhubeki ngaphakathi ngaphakathi ukuba phakathi kwabantwana akukho ukuhlukaniswa.
Nyaniso
Ngokutsho kweengcali zeengqondo, ukuhluka kobudala obuphezulu phakathi kwabantwana kwintsapho enye kuyiminyaka emine. Ngaphambi kwesi sizukulwana, abantwana baziva bengakhuselekanga kwaye bashiywe ngokunyanzeliswa kancinci kubo.
Yintoni umzali, oonyana bakhe abazalwa ngokulandelana? Kwiintsapho ezininzi, impendulo ibe ngamagama amabini. Ekupheleni kosuku, ibhinqa lityhulwa! Njalo kufuneka uzonwabini zombini. Ukulungiselela nokutya isidlo somdala, omncinci kufuneka abekwe esikhwameni sakhe esifubeni sakhe. Kwaye i-carousel enjalo kwaze kwaba yilapho omnye wabo elele ulele.
Okanye mhlawumbi olu khetho. Omnye umntwana udala kunomnye kwiinyanga ezili-15 kuphela. Bavuya kakhulu, badlala kunye, banobungane bokwenene. Umdala wayengakavelanga umona ngeli xesha. Akazikhumbuli ngokwakhe ngaphandle komntwana wesibini kwaye akayiqondi indlela enokuba yintoni enye.
Ekugqibeleni, xa unomnye umntwana, kukwakho kunye neqabane lakho ukugqiba. Ngaloo nto, musa ukulibala: nanini na ukuba azalwe, abazenzeli kuphela ukuphazamiseka, ukungafani, ukulala ubusuku, kodwa novuyo.
Mema umntwana omdala ukuba eze negama lomncinci. Iingcali zengqondo zikholelwa ukuba eli qhinga lingenza izinto ezimangalisayo. Kodwa nangona igama likhethwa nguwe, qiniseka ukuba umntwana wakho wokuqala uyayithanda, kuba kubalulekile ukuba azi ukuba uluvo lwakhe luphulaphulwa "ngaphezu koko, luya kuthintela ulwalamano lwabantwana
Ngaba ndifuna umntwana wesibini?
Nangona kunjalo, kwezinye iintsapho, xa kukho abazali ababini, akukho nto, kodwa enye iyavela: ingabe ibalulekile? Nazi izihloko ezimbalwa ofuna ukuxoxa ngazo nabathandekayo bakho ngaphambi kokuba uphendule kule dama. Uhlobo luni lomoya oyifunayo endlwini? Uxolo kwaye uhla Bala ukuba lo mfanekiso uza kufumana njani umntwana wesibini. Hlola izibonelelo zakho zomzimba kunye neemvakalelo. Ngaba yanele? Esi sibini kufanele sibone ukuba ngokuza "kwintsana emibini" ukushisa kokuqala, ukunyamezela, ukuqwalasela kunye neetayayiza kufuneki ngaphantsi, kunoko, ngokuthe ngqo. Bobabini baya kufuneka bancede amazibulo aphile kule nkqubela kwimeko yobomi bakhe. Imali ibalulekile. Bala ukuba unako ukufumana umntwana wesibini. Iidrafers, iimpahla, iindleko zansuku zonke, isikolo, isikolo ... Cinga! Esi sigqibo sakho.
Nyaniso
Xa uneminyaka engama-3, umntwana uqala ukuhlakulela ukuzimela kwaye ubone ukubaluleka kwakhe ebomini kubazali bakhe. Uyaqonda ukuba bayamthanda kwaye baya kuhlala bemthanda.
Nini ukuzala umntwana
Ukuba ufunda le ngcaciso, sele usenayo umntwana wesibini. Okanye yena ... kwizicwangciso. Akukho mfahluko wobudala obuhle, konke kuxhomekeka kwimeko kunye nesimo sengqondo - kokubili umntwana nowesibini ... Owesibini kufuneka anikwe ukuzalwa, xa kuqala ukuya esikolweni: kwaye uya kunceda ngezifundo, kwaye uhlale nomntwana!
Nyaniso
Inguqu encinci kwindlela yokuziphatha iya kuba kubonakala komntwana wesibini, ngcono. Oku akuyona inketho ebaluleke kakhulu kunye neendlela zokukhulisa abantwana kubazali, igcina ingqondo yengqondo yomntwana, ibangela ubuncinci bentshutshiso kumntwana, njengomthetho, yonke into iyodwa "i-razrulivaetsya."