Akusiyo imfihlelo eqaqambileyo, uthando oluvuthayo alupheli ixesha lokuphila, kodwa kuphela iminyaka engama-2-3, ngoko ixesha lokuzinza liqala ngobudlelwane. Yonke into iyancipha, iyancedisa, iyatshintsha ibe yifomu ehlukileyo, mhlawumbi yinyanisekileyo kwaye ithenda. Nangona kunjalo, akuyena wonke umntu oyithandayo. Amanye amadoda asafuna into entsha, inomdla, banomnqweno wokutshintsha into ebomini. Emva koko kukho inkosikazi, entsha kunye engavamile. Okanye omnye umzekelo. Emva kweminyaka eyi-15-17 yomtshato, xa abantwana sele bekhulile baze bafuna ukwenza okuncinci, le ndoda ifumanisa ukuba kakade ayifani. Uqala ukukhathazeka ngenxa yesisu okanye iinwele eziwa phantsi, ufuna ukuzibonakalisa ukuba ufanelekile into ethile, ukuba yonke into ihamba phambili kuye. Akukho nto apha apha ibhinqa.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, ngenxa yoko, abatshatileyo baba ngabasemzini, bahlala kwindawo efanayo. Ngaphandle kwezizathu kwintsapho, kukho izizathu kunye nobuntu. Umzekelo, ukuzithemba. Umntu onobuninzi bobudlelwane bezesondo uzama ukuphucula ukuzithemba. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kukho konke ukunyaniseka. Abaninzi bakholelwa ukuba umntu onyanisekileyo akafanele abe nomfazi kuphela, kodwa kunye nenkosikazi.
Indlela yokusindiswa? Okokuqala, kufuneka uhlalise. Ukuba unesimo esithintekayo, unokudiliza iinkuni, ugxeke umyeni wakho kuzo zonke izono ezifayo. Emva koko, xa ukuhlamba kuphelile, kuya kuba nzima ukudibanisa. Okwesibini, kungcono ukuba ungammiseli umntu phambi kokukhetha, kuba yena, ephakamileyo yethando, angathatha kwaye ahambe. Othandanayo ngokukhawuleza baya kukhwankqiswa, kungekudala uya kuqonda ukuba uthetha ntoni kuye, uya kufuna ukubuyela, kodwa, hayi, yonke into iya kulahleka. Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, musa ukwenza isigqibo malunga nokuthengwa. Uninzi lwamadoda aluncedo njengabasetyhini. Tshintsha indoda yakho ayiyi kuxolela.
Njengoko kwaziwa kwiimeko ezininzi, ukugwenxa kungasindisa intsapho. Yintoni ongayenza ukuba umntu akakwazi ukufumana enye indlela, ukuzibiza ngokwakhe. Kulungile kodwa, ukuba kunokuba uhlaziye kunye neentlanzi, ucinga, akunjalo? Emva kwakho konke, ngamanye amaxesha kuhamba phambili, abasetyhini bayeke ukubukela, bayeka ukunikela ingqalelo kubayeni babo, kwaye nelizwi lamathenda alisoloko lithathwa kubo. Kodwa umyeni wakhe ufuna konke! Ukutshintsha, ngokusoloko akafuneki ukuzonwabisa, kodwa ukuqonda okulula nokufudumala. Ubuqhetseba buza kwenza umfazi okhaliphile ukuba azibukele, kubalulekile ukuba ambonise ukuba usekhaya kangcono kunokuba ecaleni.
Khumbula: indoda idinga umoya njengomoya! Ngokuqhelekileyo utshintshe umfanekiso, ingaphakathi kwindlu. Ukuhamba, uye kutyelelo, ukuya kumaqela. Kukho nawuphi na, ngaphambi kokuba wenze ukhetho, kukufanelekile ukukhumbula ukuba ukunyaniseka kuyimpawu nje yokuba kukho into engalunganga kwintsapho yakho, kwaye ukuba uyichaza ngokucacileyo le ngxelo, awukwazi ukugcina kuphela, kodwa ukuphucula ubuhlobo bakho . Ubuqhetseba bunokuphela kokuqala kunye nokuqala kobomi obutsha, kwaye kuya kuwe ukugqiba ukuba ufuna ukugcina intsapho.