Ingxaki yobudlelwane phakathi komkhwekazi nomalokazana, mhlawumbi, yabonakala xa amaxesha amandulo abantu abatsha bathetha ukutshata. Ukususela ngoko, iminyaka kunye neenkulungwane, iintombi-mkhwenkwe zikhalazo malunga nokuziphatha komkhwekazi kunye nomnqweno wokungena kwintsapho yomnye umntu. Kodwa ukuba ubuncinane umyeni onengqondo uyamphatha umfazi aze amthande, ke le ngxaki ilula ukulwa. Kodwa indlela yokwenza njani kwimeko xa indoda isecaleni lomamazala?
Okokuqala, ukusombulula le ngxaki, kufuneka uqonde oko kubangele ukuziphatha komama womthandayo. Enyanisweni, intsapho nganye ineemithetho yayo kunye nemimiselo, ngoko kunzima ukuvumelanisa nendlela yomntu womntu. Mhlawumbi, kwezinye iimeko, kufuneka ujonge. Kwenzeka ukuba umalokazana akaliva isiluleko kunye neengcamango zomkhwekazi wakhe, nangona ulungile. Ngoko uzama ukuzola ukuzikhukhumeza uze uhlolisise imeko. Mhlawumbi ufuna nje ukwenza ukuvuma, ukuze umyeni noninazala bavuyiswe, kwaye kwintsapho yakho iimbambano azizange ziqhume.
Umama uhlala echanekile
Kodwa ukuba uyaqonda ukuba umyeni noninazala bakwenene, ngoko kufuneka uqale ukulwa namalungelo akho kwintsapho. Ngaphandle koko umhlobo wakho uya kuhlala ehlangothini lomama, kwaye uya kufuneka uthobele okanye uhambe. Ukuze uqonde indlela engcono yokusebenza ngayo, kufuneka uqonde ukuba kutheni umyeni uhlala ehlangothini lonina. Ngokuqhelekileyo, oku kwenzekayo xa umntu osemtsha ekhula kwintsapho engaphelelanga okanye kwintsapho apho wonke umntu ehlala ekhokelwa ngumama, kwaye uyise uhleli kwiindima zesibini. Kule meko, uqaphele, kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo umyeni wakho ukholelwa ukuba unyoko uhlale ehlala kunye nezinto zonke. Emva koko, nguye owamvusayo, uncedise kuyo yonke into, unakekelwa. Kwimeko enjalo, akufanele ulwa nomama wakho kamasipala. Ngokuqhelekileyo, akudingeki ukuba uthethe ngezinto ezimbi ngendoda yakhe, ukuhlambalaza, umphathe kakubi. Khumbula ukuba oku, okokuqala, unina. Yaye unina ngumntu obiza kakhulu, kwaye xa umntu ehlambalaza unina, nokuba ngumfazi wakhe, umntu uqala ukumkhusela, engabonanga ngumbono oxhaphazayo unina lotshaba. Ngoko ke, nangona xa umsindo uqala ukubetha phezu komgca - zivimbele. Ngaphandle koko ukhangele nje njengomntu onobuhlungu. Zama ukuthetha ngokuthula kunye nomyeni wakho uze umkholise ukuba uyamhlonela uninazala, uhloniphe ubulumko bakhe namava, nangona kunjalo, unakho uqobo lwakho, imbono nokuqonda kweemeko ezahlukeneyo. Ngoko mcele nje ukuba ahlole ngokwaneleyo imeko nganye, engakhokelwa ngumbono "oku kuthiwa ngumama," "yiloo nto umfazi athetha ngayo," kwaye umele amacala omabini angaphandle angabonakalisa iingcamango zabo aze anike iingxabano. Iziphakamiso zabo zichanekile kwaye ziqiqo-kunjalo. Ngokubhekiselele kumamazala, kulo mzekelo, iingxoxo ezinjalo akunakwenzeka ukunika nayiphi na isizathu. Inyani kukuba abo basetyhini basetyenziswa ukunyanga unyana wabo njengomntwana omncinci onokukuncedwa ngumama wakhe kuphela. Hlalani noninazala ngokulile, musa ukuphikisana, kwaye ukuba kukho ithuba-yenza nje indlela yakho. Ukuba indoda ibona ukuba izigqibo zakho zichanekile kwaye zinengqondo, ngokuthe ngcembe uya kuba ngecala lakho.
Unyana kaMama
Kukho amadoda abizwa ngokuthi "oonyana baka-mama". Abantu abancinci bajwayele ukufihla emva kwesiketi somama kuzo zonke iingcinezelo kunye neengxaki. Kule meko, kunzima kakhulu ukutshintsha indoda. Inyaniso kukuba akafuni ukuthatha icala lakho, kuba ngale ndlela, njengokungavumi ukulinda umama. Ngoko ngoku uya kufuneka aziphendule yena ngokwakhe. Kule meko, into kuphela enokukunceda kukubonisa umyeni wakho ukuba ulungele ukutshintsha umama wakhe kwaye uthathe zonke iingxaki zakhe. Nangona kunjalo, zicinge wena ukuba ufuna umntwana ngaphandle kwendoda yobudala, kwaye kufuneka uyenze yonke into kuye, uze uphulaphule uhlazo. Ngoko ke, ukuba ubona ukuba umntu uhlala ehlala kunina naziphi na izizathu, kulungile ukucinga ngawo, nangaphambi kokuba umtshato, nokuba unako ukunyamezela into enjalo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, akunakwenzeka ukufumana ulwimi oluqhelekileyo nomkhwekazi kuyo yonke intombi. Kodwa abafazi abakwazi ukugcina ukungathathi hlangothi okubandayo, ngokuqinisekileyo baphila bhetele kunabo ababethe imfazwe engapheliyo nomamazala.