Ngoko ke, xa umntu ekhuluma ngakumbi ngothando, engaphantsi kokuthandana naye? Okokuqala, makhe sicinge ngento okuthethwa ngumfana. Umzekelo, mhlawumbi ukholelwa ukuba uthando alukho. Umfana onjalo unokuchitha ixesha elide ethetha ngento yokuba uthando luyinto engenangqiqo nangenasiphelo, eyakhiwa ngokuzikhohlisa nokubandlulula. Uya kuqinisekisa wonke umntu kwaye ngokwakhe ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba bathande abantu ngentetho. Kuthetha ukuthini oku kuziphatha? Enyanisweni, ithetha ukuba umntu uphika uthando ngenxa yesizathu esilula
- uyayithanda, okanye uyayithanda. Kodwa iimvakalelo azange zimlethele, kwaye ngoko, ngoku uzama ukubonisa bonke abantu ukuba akakwazi ukufumana iimvakalelo ezinjalo. Oku kukuthi, ngandlela-thile, ukusabela okukhuselekileyo kuzo zonke iintsizi kunye neengxaki ezisenza sibe neengqondo neemvakalelo. Amadoda anjalo enza ngathi anzima kwaye anengqiqo ukuze kungabikho mntu osolisa imvakalelo enzulu kwaye angayisebenzisi. Bathetha ngothando ngobuninzi bokungabi nantoni, ukuze bangabonakali ubuthathaka babo kule mvakalelo. Yingakho, ukuba umntu uhlala ethetha ngothando aze ahlaselwe yintando kakhulu kwaye akayi kukulibala ukuthetha ngawo kuyo yonke ingxoxo-yenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo. Akayikho konke afuna ukubonakala, kwaye mhlawumbi ucinga njani. Kuphela nje ukuba loo mfana osemfana kufuneka adlule kwi ntliziyo. Omnye umntu "wamncedisa" ukuvalela iimvakalelo zakhe, kwaye ngoku ufanele uchithe ixesha elide, amandla kunye nomonde ukuyeka ukuva kuye ukuthetha ngokungathandi. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, akudingekile ukuba amadoda aphikisana kwaye anenkani ukugoba umgca wakho. Okugqwesileyo konke, ngokuthe ngcembe kunye nenyathelo ngenyathelo, ukuxelela abanye amabali nokukhumbula imizekelo eyahlukeneyo. Le ndlela kuphela ifanelekile ukugqithisa iindonga abafana abakha kuzo iintliziyo zabo.
Kutheni abanye abantu bahlala bethetha ngothando? Mhlawumbi inyaniso kukuba ziingcali zefilosofi okanye i-romantics. Abantu abanjalo banqwenela ukuhlala bejonge kwiintlobo ezahlukahlukeneyo, ukuqhubela phambili nokuphikisa iingcamango, ukuvelisa i-axioms kunye nokubonakalisa ii -orems. Oku akuthethi ukuba uthando kubo kuphela izinto ezinokusetyenziswa kwiingxoxo ezilandelayo. Ngokulula, aba bantu bathanda ukuzama ukuqonda into ephakamileyo, ukuzama ukufumana izizathu kunye nemiphumo yemvakalelo nezenzo zethu. Bangakwazi ukuchitha iiyure "ukuxubusha" amabali omthando, bezama ukuqonda intsingiselo yezenzo ezithile nezenzo zabantu. Amadoda anjalo ayazi ukuba uthando alufani, ngoko ke, bavela ngeenkcazo kwimeko nganye. Enyanisweni, lo mfana akafanele athukuthele kwaye acinge ukuba uthetha kakhulu ngeemvakalelo ezikuthi, akunakwenzeka ukuba akukho ncoko ekuxoxeni nantoni na. Uthando lukhona okanye alukho. Ewe, kunjalo, oku kuyi nyaniso, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba abantu abathanda ukucinga nokufilosofiza, baxhamle kwiingxaki ezininzi ezinengqiqo kwaye zixhamle. Abayinqumli kwihlombe, kodwa cinga ngezinto ezenzekayo, zama ukuqonda, uqonde izizathu zokungqubana nokungaqondi. Into ephambili kukuba le ntombazana ayifuni kakhulu ehlathini. Kwimeko enjalo, uqala ukubona oko akunjalo kwaye ucinge iingxaki kuye. Njengoko bathetha, yonke into iyimfuneko ukwazi isiqhelo kunye nesigqibo segolide. Ngaphandle koko, abantu baqala ukudideka baze babone oko kwakungekho kwaye kungeze kube njalo. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyazi ukuba umfana wakho uthanda ukucinga ngezihloko ezahlukeneyo zehlabathi, zama ukuqiniseka ukuba akaqali ukugqithisa kwaye akayikusola into ephosakeleyo kulwalamano lwakho. Ngelishwa, abantu abacinga kakhulu ngeengxaki zefilosofi zehlabathi, kwenzeka. Ngako oko, zama ukusibeka ngexesha. Indlela yokwenza oko, eyona nto iyazi kakuhle wena. Kungaba ngumcuke, ukumanga, kunye nesidlo sakusihlwa. Yenza nje ukuba ukuthetha ngothando akuguquki ukuthetha ngentlonipho kunye nokusola. Khumbula ukuba abantu abanolwazi oluninzi, ngokuhamba kwexesha, baqala ukukrokra kakhulu. Ngoko ke, unganikeli ifilosofi yakho isizathu sokucinga ezimbi kwaye uzivumele ucinge ngeengcamango ezahlukeneyo kunye nobungqina bothando olukhulu. Ukuba uqondisa iingcamango zakhe ngendlela elungileyo, unokukunceda ngokupheleleyo ebomini bakho.
Iingongoma kunye nabalobi bahlala bethetha ngothando. Ngaphantsi kaninzi - abaculi. Kodwa bona, njengoko bethetha, kufuneka baziphatha ngale ndlela. Abantu abahlala behlotshaniswa namazwi amnandi bathanda ukudumisa uthando, bakhulume ngayo ngeesalathisi kwaye bafikelelekise ngokuthelekiswa. Ukongeza, abo babhala ngale miva, bakholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo kubo. Oku akumangalisi, kuba akunakwenzeka ukubhala inkondlo ephuma entliziyweni okanye inveli xa ungakholelwa kwinto ephuma phantsi kwesandla sakho. Ababhali ngabantu abakhayo. Bayakwazi ukuthetha ngeengxaki rhoqo, kwaye amazwi abo aya kufakwa kwiingcaphuno zabo kunye nemisebenzi yabanye. Ngoko ke, musa ukunyamekela oku ngokuqaphela. Abantu abalingileyo banaloo ndlela yokuvakalisa iimvakalelo, ababenzileyo, kwaye abazi ngokwenene ukuzifihla.
Ngoko ke, xa umntu ekhuluma ngakumbi ngothando, engaphantsi kokuthandana - oku akusoloko kuthethwa kakuhle. Ewe, kukho abantu abathetha ngothando. Ukuphazamisa ingqalelo yethu kunye nokugada. Kodwa kufuneka bahluke kulabo bathetha ngothando, kuba bayazi kwaye bakholelwa kule mvakalelo. Kwaye akunandaba, amazwi akhe ayenayo okanye ayibi. Ukuba igama elithi "uthando" livela emlonyeni womntu, ngoko uyazi ukuba ngubani.