Ngokuqhelekileyo entliziyweni yokuxabana, umnqweno wabazali ukuzingelela. Abantwana, bephantsi kwengcinezelo yabazali babo, baqala ukumelana, kwaye oku kubangela ukungathobeli, inkani. Abazali kaninzi, befuna into okanye bawenqabe abantwana ukuba benze nantoni na, musa ukuchazela ngokwaneleyo isizathu sokuvalwa okanye iimfuno. Oku kuholele ekungaqondani, umphumo wokunyanelana, kunye namaxesha athile. Kubalulekile ukufumana ixesha lokuthetha nomntwana, ukuphikisana nazo zonke izibambiso, iimfuno abazali abazithumele phambili. Uninzi oomama noomama baya kuthukuthela, apho bafumane khona ixesha, ukuba kuyimfuneko ukuba basebenze kwiintshukumo eziliqela ukwenzela ukuqinisekisa iimfuno zenyama. Kodwa ukuba akukho buhlobo obuqhelekileyo kwintsapho, ngubani na ofuna inkxaso yenkxaso?
Kubalulekile ukuhamba nomntwana, ukuthetha, ukudlala, ukufunda iincwadi ezincedo. Kwakhona, isizathu sokungquzulana phakathi kootata nabantwana sinokubanjelwa inkululeko yolu hlobo. Kufuneka ihlale ikhunjulwe ukuba umntwana ngumntu ozimeleyo onelungelo lenkululeko. Iingcali zengqondo zihlukanisa amanqanaba amaninzi okukhula komntwana, xa ukungaboni kakuhle phakathi kwabantwana nabazali kunzima. Ngeli xesha, iingxabano nabantu abadala zidla ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Isigaba sokuqala ngumntwana eneminyaka emithathu. Uba ngumntu onengqondo, onenkani, onqwenela. Ubudala obubini bubudala buyiminyaka esixhenxe. Kwakhona, ukuziphatha komntwana kubonakala ngokungahambisani, ukungalingani, kuba yinto engabonakaliyo. Ekufikeni komntwana, ukuziphatha komntwana kufumana umgangatho ombi, ukusebenza kwamandla kunciphisa, iimfuno ezintsha zithatha indawo emidlalweni yamandulo. Ngeli xesha kubalulekile ukuba abazali baziphatha ngokuchanekileyo.
Xa umntwana ezalwa, intsapho yakhe iba ngumzekelo wakhe wokuziphatha. Kwintsapho, ufumana iimpawu ezinjengokuthembela, ukwesaba, ukuhlalisana, ukunyaniseka, ukuzithemba. Kwakhona uyazi kakuhle iindlela zokuziphatha kwiimeko ezichaseneyo, abazali ababonisa ngazo, ngaphandle kokuqaphela. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuba abazali kunye nomntwana ojikelezayo banamathele ngakumbi kwiingxelo zabo nokuziphatha kwabo. Zonke iimeko zengxabano kufuneka zinciphise kwaye zilungiswe ngokuthula. Umntwana kufuneka abone ukuba abazali abavuyiswa kukuba baye bafezekisa injongo yabo, kodwa ukuba bakwazi ukukhusela ingxabano. Kufuneka ukwazi ukuxolisa nokuvuma iimpazamo zakho kubantwana. Nangona umntwana ekubangela ukuba ube nemvakalelo ephazamisayo, oye wanikela ngokukhululeka, kufuneka uhlalise uze uchazele umntwana ukuba awukwazi ukubonisa iimvakalelo zakho ngale ndlela. Umba wengqeqesho yomntwana unokukhokelela ekuxabaneni.
Ngoxa umntwana esincinane, abazali banqanda inkululeko yakhe, bamise imida apho umntwana eziva ekhuselekile. Umntwana omncinci ufuna iimfuno zokhuseleko kunye nentuthuzelo. Kufuneka azive ngokwakhe ukuba yiziko apho yonke into eyenzelwa yona. Kodwa njengoko umntwana ekhula, abazali bafuna, ngokuthanda nokuqeqesha, ukuvuselela ubuqu bakhe. Abanye abazali abazenzi oku, bezungeze umntwana ngothando nangenkathalo ngaphandle kokuyalelwa. Abantu abadala, abafuna ukukhusela ingxabano, banike inkululeko epheleleyo kumntwana, okuvela kuye umntu ongenakho ukuziphatha okungalawulwayo, ukunyanzelisa abazali bakhe.
Olunye ulolu hlobo ngabazali bafuna ukuzaliseka okungenammiselo kwazo zonke iimfuno zabo. Ukukhulisa umntwana, abo bazali rhoqo babonisa ukuba unamandla. Abantwana abahluphekayo ngenxa yokungabi nkululeko, bakhule besongelwa, ngaphandle kobazali abakwazi ukwenza nantoni na.
Ngokuchaseneyo, abantwana abachasayo iimfuno zabantu abadala, bavame ukukhula bekhungathekile kwaye bangalawuleki. Umsebenzi wabazali ukufumana phakathi, ukugcina indawo ecacileyo yabazali kunye neengxaki malunga neemvakalelo neemfuno zomntwana. Umntwana ngumntu onelungelo, ngenxa yobuntwana bakhe, ngenxa yobomi bakhe ngeemposiso zakhe kunye nokuphumelela. Ekufikeni kwentsha, xa umntwana eneminyaka eyi-11-15 ubudala, impazamo yabazali kukuba ayilungele ukubona kumntwana omtsha onayo yakhe imbono, iinjongo ezingahambisani nemibono yabazali bakhe. Kanye kunye nezinguqu zomzimba kumntwana - umntwana osemtsha, ukuxhamla kwemizwelo kuphawulwa, uyaba nomsindo, angakhuselekanga.
Kuphi na ukugxekwa kwakhe, ubona ukuba akayithandi. Abazali abaselula bayadingeka ukuba bajonge imeko entsha, batshintshe iimboniselo ezindala, imithetho. Kule minyaka, kukho izinto eziselula ezithandayo. Unako ukumema abahlobo bakhe ukuba bazalwe ngosuku, kungekhona abo abazali bakhe abafake. Unokuphulaphula umculo owuthandayo. Kwaye nezinye izinto ezininzi abazali abafuna ukuzilawula, kodwa kungekhona njengokuba kuthiwa ngaphambili. Kubalulekile ukunciphisa ingqalelo yomzali ebomini bomntwana, makabonise ukuzimela, ngakumbi kwiminqweno yentsapho.
Kodwa awukwazi ukunyamezela ukunyeliswa nokunyaniseka kwentombazana, kufuneka uvelelwe imida. Umsebenzi wabazali kukukwenza umntwana ukuba azive nothando lomzali, wazi ukuba bayamqonda, kwaye baya kuhlala bamkela oko. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ngakwesinye icala, abazali babeletha umntwana, bamvusa, bamnika imfundo, bamxhasa kwiimeko ezinzima.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abazali, bahlala befuna ukulawula umntwana wabo, bathinte izigqibo zakhe, bakhetha abahlobo, umdla, njl njl. Nokuba ngaba abazali banikela abantwana inkululeko epheleleyo, njengoko bacinga ukuba, baqhubeka bebopha umntwana ekuphunyezweni kwezicwangciso ezithile, nangaphandle kokuqaphela. Ngenxa yoko, ngokukhawuleza abantwana bahamba nabazali babo, kodwa abanye bahamba ngesityholo, bavelele abazali babo, abanye bahamba ngokubulela, ngokuqonda kwabazali. Ukuba kunjalo, ukungquzulana, oobawo kunye nabantwana kwintsapho ngamacandelo amabini enyaniso. Siyathemba ukuba imvume iya kubakho kwintsapho yakho.