Ngethuba nje kukho intsapho, kukho umbuzo omkhulu othi "Ngubani ophethe intsapho?" Inhloko yentsapho enobumba obuninzi ngokuqinisekileyo iyindoda. Kodwa lo mgaqo usebenza kuphela kwintsapho yoobukhohlakele, ehlala ebudeni bayo.
Amadoda nabasetyhini baya kukhwela emfazweni, bekrazula isundu somnye. Ngaba kubalulekile ukuba ngubani oyintloko yentsapho?
Okona kubaluleke kakhulu, kunokwenzeka ukuba iqabane (umyeni okanye umfazi) lijongene nale mi sebenzi ngokuzeleyo, kwaye ayinakuphazamisana neemfanelo zomnye kunye nophuhliso lwentsapho. Emva kwakho konke, sonke siyazi kakuhle ukuba nayiphi na ishishini, ishishini okanye enye intsapho iya kubola evela entloko, oko kukuthi, kubunkokeli obungenangqiqo.
Ngako oko, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba intsapho yakho ibhekiswe ngabona baninzi-ininzi yenu, intloko yentsapho kunye nencwadi enkulu. Ngokomntu, ndikholelwa ukuba kufuneka babe yindoda. Kutheni? Emva kwakho konke, kwintlanga-ntsi-patriarchal kuluntu, umfazi udosa ngokwenene intsapho yakhe, uya kuthi, madoda angenzi nto kwintsapho. Uyazi ukuba kutheni? Ngenxa yokuba abesifazana abanikeli nantoni na loo mntu, bayayenza imisebenzi yakhe, kwaye yintoni umyeni ayenzayo, ukuba akayiyo isigqibo sokuba kwenzeke njani kwintsapho yakhe? Kwaye ukuba intloko yentsapho yindoda, ngoko imisebenzi yakho iya kubandakanya imisebenzi yasekhaya, inakekele indoda kunye nabantwana, ngelixa umyeni uya kusinceda ngemisebenzi yendlu, ukuba kuyimfuneko, kunye nomnqweno omkhulu.
Ukungaqiniseki? Kwaye awuyikuthandabuza! Yenza indoda yakho ibe yiqhawe, intloko yentsapho inombhalo omkhulu, umninimzi wangempela endlwini, ukuze azive amandla akhe kunye noxanduva lwakhe, ngenxa yakho, kubantwana bakho. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuba udibanise yonke into kuwe ngokude, kwaye umyeni wakho akayikuphakamisa nomnwe ukwenza into efanelekileyo kwindlu nentsapho, yinto ephosakeleyo yakho kwaye kuya kuwe ngoku ukuba unokutshintsha imeko.
Umfazi ungumgcini wendawo, kufuneka abe sisilumko ngokuphathelele ukwakha ubudlelwane nomyeni wakhe, kufuneka ube naye "umgcini-greyinal", kwaye yintoni na, akufuneki ukuba uchaze nabani na. Kule meko, umyeni uziziva epheleleyo intloko yentsapho aze afeze yonke imisebenzi yentloko yentsapho, njengokhuseleko lwezinto eziphathekayo, isisombululo semicimbi enxulumene nezindlu, ukuzonwabisa, ukuqeqeshwa, njalonjalo, kwaye umfazi ulawula kakuhle izenzo zakhe. Kwaye bonke bayonwabile kwaye bayavuya, kholwani.
Yiba yinhloko yentsapho kunye nencwadi enkulu enobunzima kakhulu! Nangona bethu abafazi banako ukugqithisa iintaba, kodwa yenza oku, akukafaneki. Kodwa imeko kwintsapho ayixhomekeke kuphela kumfazi, kodwa nakwimeko yendoda. Ngenxa yokuba, into enye kuthiwa intloko yentsapho, kwaye yinto enye into yokuba yinyani. Madoda, ingabe ulungele ukuba ngabafumene ngokwenene, abaphathi, abanini, abalawuli kwilizwe elincinci? Zonke ezandleni zakho! Ukuba utshatile, oko kukuthi, uthathe uxanduva lomfazi wakho kwaye ube nomusa, umnyamekele, ngokubaluleke kakhulu, ufunde ukumqonda, iimfuno kunye neemfuno zakhe. Emva kwakho konke, luyolonwabo lwakho nolonwabo lwakho losapho oluya kuxhomekeka kuwe.
Ungatshintsha ubomi bakho ngokuphawulekayo? Ukuba utshatile, kufuneka uyenze. Uya kufuneka ubalekele bonke abahlobo bakho kunye namantombazana, ngoku into ebalulekileyo ebomini bakho yintsapho. Ukuba ucinga ngenye indlela, awukwazi ukutshata, kuba awulungele umtshato. Yaye ukuba wena, indoda, ungabi yintloko yentsapho, ke akukho mfazi uza kukuhlonela.
Ukufezekisa olo hlobo lugunyaba lunokuba lukhokelo lobulumko kuphela, kwaye aluyi kukhwaza kunye neentlekele. Musa ukwesaba iimpazamo, kuba zifunda kwiimpazamo, kodwa umfazi wakho unokutolika ukwesaba iingxaki zehlabathi njengobuthakathaka bakho. Abanye abantu belizwe lethu bavumela ukuba basebenzise amandla kumakhosikazi abo. Bacinga ukuba oku, mhlawumbi, ukubonakaliswa kobukhulu babo, kodwa lona wesifazane uguqulela okuhlukileyo - ukuba indoda iphakamise isandla sakhe kumfazi, ngoko uyabuthakathaka kwaye uyadla. Madoda, ngokunyanzela awuyi kubonisa ukuba uyinkosi yendlu! Abantu abanengqiqo, ngakumbi abantu abasondeleyo, kufuneka bakwazi ukuthetha nokuxazulula zonke iingxaki zabo ngeengxoxo.
Ingxoxo iyakunceda ukuba wazi kakuhle. Umntu onamandla kwaye onesibindi ulungele ukusombulula yonke imicimbi yakhe ngokusebenzisa intetho. Ukuba umfazi wenqaba ukuthetha naye, kufuneka ucinga ukuba ufuna umfazi onjalo?
Oku akuyi kwenzeka ukuba ukhumbula njalo ukuba umfazi wakho uyona nto ibhetele, enhle kakhulu, ecacileyo kwaye ehamba phambili, yingako umtshata naye, akunjalo? Ngaba ucinga ukuba umfazi wakho ufuna ukutshata nomntu olahlekileyo? Yaye kwaye umfazi wakho uza kukubamba, kuxhomekeke kuphela kwindawo yakho yokuphila.
Indoda yokwenene isoloko ifezekisa into ayifunayo. Nquma ukuba ufuna ukufezekisa ntoni ebomini. Indlu, imoto, indlu yelizwe? Unokwenza konke ukuba unempendulo ethembekileyo - umfazi onothando noqondayo. Umntu obuthathaka, inxila okanye umlutha weziyobisi ayikwazi ukuba ngumlingani othandekayo umtshato.
Kuya kuba kuhle ukuba amadoda ethu akhumbule ukuba umfazi uyindalo ebuthakathaka kwaye ufuna uncedo lwakho kunye nengqalelo yakho. Uyakudinga kwaye nje ukuthetha. Ngubani na othetha naye, ngubani ozokhalaza kuye, obani ofuna ukucebisa kunye nenkxaso? Awufuni ukuba umfazi wakho afune inkxaso evela komnye umntu? Kuyafana okufanayo ngomsebenzi wesikolo. Wena, njengentloko yentsapho, kufuneka usasaze imisebenzi yasendlini ngendlela enokuba wena kunye nomfazi wakho ninokuchitha ixesha kunye nonke, nivulelane ngokuzonwabisa. Musa ukulibala ukuba ukulala ngesondo kuqinisa ubudlelwane. Kwaye xa uncedisa umfazi wakho ekhaya, ukufudumala nokuthanda kwakhe uya kukwazi ukukunika. Thandanani!