Intombazana eyeka njani ukuba ngumhlobo wamadoda

Amanye amantombazana ayazi ukuba ngabahlobo kunye nabafana, kwaye omnye umntu uyinto yokuqwalasela. Yintoni engcono: ukuba ngumhlobo kubafana okanye ukuba intombazana abayifunayo, kodwa, ngokuqhelekileyo, aboni mntu. Enyanisweni, kunzima intombazana ukuba ayeke ukuba yinkwenkwe yakhe, ukuba isetyenziselwa ukuhlala njalo. Kodwa, ngethamsanqa okanye ngelitye, awanabo bonke abafana abakujikeleze intombazana, kuba yena njengabazalwana. Kukho phakathi kwabo abonwabisayo umntu oselula. Kodwa, apha akayi kubona mntu, ngaphandle ko mzalwana. Ngoko umbuzo uvela, njani intombazana ingayi kuba ngumhlobo kubafana? Kule meko, kunzima kakhulu ukutshintsha yonke into kwaye ungabi ngumhlobo kuphela. Inyaniso kukuba ukuba abantu baye bajwayele ukukubona ngomfanekiso omnye ngeminyaka, kuya kuba nzima ukuba baxolelane nabanye. Ngoko ke, kufuneka uguqule xa udibana nabantu abatsha. Nangona, ukuba uzama ngokwenene, intombazana inokutshintsha isimo sengqondo kwalabo baziyo kuye ukususela ebuntwaneni. Kuphela kufuneka uzame kwaye ungaphambuki kwiinjongo.

Ngoko, amantombazana ayeka njani ukuba ngumhlobo wamadoda? Okokuqala, kuyimfuneko ukuqonda ukuba kutheni abantu abatsha bakuphatha ngayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, akuyiyo yonke intombazana inokuba ngumhlobo kunye nabafana. Abantu abambalwa kuphela bayazi indlela yokuphatha ubuhlobo obunjalo ubomi. Ngoko ke, ngaphambi kokuba uzame ukutshintsha into ethile, cinga ukuba ufuna kangakanani. Emva koko, abafana beza bahamba, kunye nabahlobo bangunaphakade. Kodwa, ukuba uyaqonda ukuba omnye wabafana kuwe kubaluleke kakhulu nje ngokuba ngumhlobo, uya kufuneka uhambe kancane kodwa uzitshintshe ngokwakho kwingcambu.

Ngoko ke, yintoni efunekayo yenziwe, yintoni ukutsala ingqalelo kubafana. Okokuqala, thobela ingqalelo yakho. Unxiba njani, yintoni unxiba inwele, uyazi ukuba ungasebenzisa njani izimonyo? Khumbula ukuba ukubonakala kubaluleke kakhulu kubantu. Ukuba ngumhlobo wabo, ufanele ukuphawula. Ngendlela, into yokuba uhlale ungumhlobo ungasetyenziselwa wena. Emva kwakho konke, ukuthetha nawe, njengendoda yakho, amadoda azibonakalisa kuwe ngeendlela ezininzi. Ngoku ungasebenzisa oku, kubaluleke kakhulu, ukulahla ngokuchanekileyo ulwazi olufunyenweyo.

Kodwa, okokuqala, masibuyele kwimbonakalo yakho. Kufuneka unqume ukujonga ngaphandle, ubuncinane into ekukhumbuza umfana. Ukwenza oku, kufuneka uyeke ukugqoka iimpahla zabantu kunye neenwele. Ezi zibandakanya izikhwama zezemidlalo, iinwele ezilungisiweyo. Kwakhona, ukuba ungasebenzisi izimonyo, kufuneka ufunde olu bugcisa. Wonke amabhinqa kufuneka akwazi ukugxininisa iingenelo zawo aze azifihle iimpazamo. Lobugcisa kufuneka ufundwe ukuze abafana babone ukukhanga kwakho. Kwakhona, ukuze ube ngumfazi, kufuneka ufunde indlela yokugqoka iimpahla ezigxininisa umlinganiselo wakho. Umzekelo, akunakwenzeka ukuba ugqoke ijee kunye neebhulukhwe. Ingubo yembatho yowesifazane oyinyani. Ukuba usagqoke iingubo, zama ukugqoka loo mizekelo egxininisa zonke iintlobo zakho zeentsimbi. Kwakhona, kufuneka uhlale ubeka iliso zakho iinwele kwaye ugqoke unyawo olukhangela ukuba uya kuhamba. Ulibala umsila ongenanto kunye neenwele. Kufuneka uhlale ubonakala uqhelekileyo. Nangona abafana beza endlwini yakho, kufuneka ukhangeleke ngokuqhelekileyo. Ewe, akukho mntu uthetha malunga nokuhlwaya kunye nezindleko ezixabisekileyo. Kodwa kufuneka uhlale udibene, utyhile, kwiingubo ezicocekileyo. Nangona uthanda ukuhamba ngee-t-shirt, ulinde ukufika kwabahlobo, kufuneka ugqoke ukuze iingubo zakho zasekhaya zingabufihla into yokuba uyintombazana.

Ukongeza kwengubo kunye nokuzenzela, kufuneka uhlale ukhumbula ukuziphatha kwakho. Qaphela indlela uhleka ngayo, indlela yokuhamba, njengoko utshoyo. Ukuba uthanda ukuhleka okukhulu, ukunyakaza okubukhali kwaye ungaligodli imvakalelo engxoxweni, kuya kufuneka uyinike. Intombazana akufanele iphathe kakubi. Khumbula ukuba ubufazi bubona i-skate esemqoka kuyo yonke intokazi. Ngoko ke, zihlala uzibukele kwaye uzibambe. Ekuqaleni kuya kuba nzima, kodwa, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, unokwenza konke ngokuzenzekelayo. Khumbula ukuba nabo bafazi bahlale bebiza ngokuthi "amantombazana amancinci", ukuba bafuna ukutshintsha, kwaye ngokuhamba kwesikhathi baqala ukuthanda ubufazi babo. Ngoko ke, ungacingi uze uzilungiselele ukuba ungeke wenze nantoni na. Enyanisweni, kulula kakhulu kunokuba ucinga. Kwakhona, ngexesha lokutshintsha, ukuba kunokwenzeka, kufuneka ufune ukuthetha nomntu omthandayo. Inyaniso kukuba kufuneka abone entsha "uyenzile" kwaye ungaboni inkqubo. Qinisekisa ukuba ukuba utshintsho lukhulu, loo mntu uya kuphawula kwaye amangaliswe. Emva koko kwenzeka, musa ukuphumla. Qonda ukuba umboniso wokuqala owonayo ungonakalisa indlela oziphatha ngayo xa ungatshintshi. Ngoko uzama ukuzilawula rhoqo kwaye ungavumeli nayiphi na into "yindoda". Kwakhona, ukwenzela ukuba uyeke ukuba ngumhlobo, akufanele ulungise abantwana bakho. Amantombazana amaninzi-abahlobo basoloko bekulungele ukunceda amadoda abo, ukuba benze okubaninzi kubo nakwabo. Awunayo le nto. Wena intombazana. Khumbula oku njalo. Abantu abancinci abanokukunceda, baziphathe ngokuhloniphayo, banakekele kwaye baninyamekele. Ewe, unokukhathazeka kwaye uncede, kodwa ungafaki konke kumagxa akho. Khumbula ukuba ungubani kwaye ungazivumeli ukuba uziphathe ngokungathi uhamba ngokulinganayo. Ubuthakathaka. Ngoko kufuneka wenze umsebenzi omncinci, uphuze omncinci kunye nomsi.

Ukuze unqume ukuba abafana babe ngumhlobo wabo, awudingi ixesha elininzi kunye namandla. Into ephambili kukuba ube nomonde kwaye ufunde ukuzilawula. Futhi ungaze uvumele abahlobo bakho ngabantu abatsha ngokuthi "umzalwana" kunye "nomlimi wakho". Ngokwenza njalo, abahlobo bakho bangaqhelanga ngokungaqhelekanga abaqhelana nabo ngokubhekiselele kule ngcamango yomntu wakho. Ngoko uthetha nabo uze ukhumbuze ukuba uyintombazana. Kwaye nangona uyabathanda ngokwenene, kodwa ungayithetheleli isimo sengqondo sokunyaniseka uze ulingane nabo. Ukuba abafana becinga ukuba uthetha ngokugqithiseleyo kwaye uza kubona utshintsho kuwe, uyayeka ukuba ngumhlobo kuphela, kodwa uya kuba yintombazana onokuyixabisa nothando.