Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba indoda ikwazi intombazana, uyayithanda kakhulu, ulungele ulwalamano naye, kwaye ubonakala ngathi naye. Wena, bobabini banokuba sele bebini elifanelekileyo, kwaye abaphazamiswa apha. Kodwa indoda, ngenxa yezizathu ezingaziwa, ingena kwiimeko "zokumisa", apho engenzi lutho, kodwa iimvakalelo zakhe ngentombazana ziyaqhubeka zikhula. Kodwa, ebomini, kwenzeka ukuba amantombazana akanalo ulawulo olunjalo, oko kukuthi, abanalo "ikhefu". Kwaye kuthetha ukuthini oku?
Ekubeni intombazana ayiyi kuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala, akukho nto iya kwenzeka, kodwa iimvakalelo zakhe ngaye ... Uya kuba ngumhlobo wakhe. Kwaye umntu onxulumene nolwalamano akayi kulungiswa. Baya kuba ngabahlobo kakuhle iminyaka emininzi, kodwa emva kweminyaka embalwa uya kuzama ukusondela kuye, naphezu kweengxaki zakhe ezahlukeneyo. Kutheni oku kwenzekayo? Ngenxa yokuba le ndoda sele iqwalasele intombazana kakuhle, uyayazi kakuhle ngoku. Inokuhlala ixhasa kwinkqubo enzima, kodwa intombazana ayiyidingi ... Kunomgaqo omnandi kakhulu ochaza ukuba kutheni amadoda efuna ukubuyela kwixesha langaphambili.
Oko kukuthi, kufuneka uqonde ukuba abafazi bathanda ukufunda into emitsha, kwaye kuba amadoda ahluke ngokupheleleyo, balungele ulwalamano olunzulu nentombazana kuphela emva kokuba bayamazi kangcono, kuba oko kuya kubangela iingxaki ezincinci.
Musa ukucinga ukuba bonke abantu badibana nomtshato wabo bomtshato ngale ndlela - akunjalo. Amadoda angaqala ukuthatha amanyathelo amanyathelo kwaye ekuqaleni-oko kwenzeka rhoqo. Kwaye le nto ibini ixabana, kwaye intombazana iqala ukuzibuza umbuzo emva kokuba umfana eshiya: "Kutheni umntu ethanda ukubuyela kwixesha langaphambili? ".
Amadoda afana nokubuyela kwindawo yangaphambili ngesizathu esihle. Kukho iinkcazelo ezininzi kule nto, kodwa ngoku siza kuzama ukuqonda oko kubuya kuthi emva koko konke.
Ekuqaleni asizange sitsho ngokuziwayo malunga nokuhluleka kwamadoda, khumbula? Ngendlela abe ngumhlobo ngayo ixesha kunye nezinto. Umgaqo ofanayo ukwahlukana. Makhe sicinge imeko efanelekileyo: uhlala nomyeni wakho iminyaka emi-2, konke kulungile; Sekuyiminyaka engama-6 ngoku, ukhathazekile, umyeni wakho uqala ukukukhuphaza, kakuhle kunye nezinye izinto ezingenakwenzeka ezingapheliyo ubomi obude kunye nomnye. Emva kweminyaka eyi-10 yokuhlala kunye, uyaqonda ukuba awuhambisani. Kukho iintlobo ezimbini zokuphuhlisa iziganeko: unabantwana, wena wedwa. Le nto yinto ebalulekileyo ekuqhawuleni umtshato. Ukuba unabantwana, uya kuba buhlungu kubo, kwaye awuyi kulwahlula, kwaye ekugqibeleni uya kuqonda ukuba wenza konke okulungileyo. Kodwa ukuba unentsapho engenabantwana ... yonke into inokuphela ngokuqhawula umtshato.
Ngoko, ngoku simele senze umkhondo wobomi bomntu ngamnye womtshato emva kokuqhawula umtshato. Le ntombazana inamathuba amaninzi okuza kutshata kwakhona, ayiyi kuvalwa. Yena, kwiimeko ezininzi, uya kwenza njalo. Ngokuphathelele abantu, ngoko yonke into iyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Kodwa ukuba uya kufuna le nto, kuba umtshato wakhe wokuqala usuphelile ekukholekeni, kunokwenzeka ukuba ngowesibili kuya kugqiba ngale ndlela. Akayi kuthanda oku, uqala ukucinga ngendlela aza kuchitha ngayo ubomi bakhe. Uqala ukukhumbula ixesha elihle lobomi kunye nentombi yakhe yangaphambili, ukuba yonke into yayilungile, njl njl. Kwaye uyaqonda ukuba yena, yena kuphela, uyamfuna. Uqala ukumbiza, baqala ukuthetha kwaye yonke into iqala ukuphucula, kwaye nangona banenhlanhla, baya kuphinda baqhube umtshato wabo. Emva koko yonke into kufanele ihambe "njenge-clockwork", ngoko kuya kwenzeka. Le yindlela yokuqala.
Kukho esinye isizathu esenza ukuba uqhawule, ngokuqinisekileyo, amadoda afuna ukubuyela kwixesha langaphambili. Yonke imigaqo efanayo. Ukuba sele uhlala kunye kunye nexesha elide, uyaqonda ukuba uye wakufunda kakuhle, unokukwenza nantoni na into eya kuba yinto enhle kuwe. Waqokelela yonke le ngcaciso iminyaka emininzi, kwaye waphumelela. Kalokunje, ngenxa yexesha, uhlala ubomi kwaye uyaqonda ukuba kunye nentombazana entsha iya kufuneka iqokelele le ngcaciso kwakhona. Kodwa kutheni kunjalo, kuba sele sele intombazana eyazi kakuhle, naye naye? Emva koko, unokuqalisa kwakhona ubuhlobo kwaye uqhubeke uhlala, ngokungathi akukho nto iyenzekayo. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka njalo, kwaye iyafanelana nayo yonke into, kuba ayenzi nantoni na ngakumbi.
Isizathu esivumelekileyo sokuqhawula umtshato sisithuba nje "njengomlutha". Uhlala ixesha elide kunye nomnye, ukhathele omnye nomnye, ufuna ubuncinane uhlobo oluthile lweentlobo ezahlukeneyo. Kukho uqhawulo-mtshato, kwaye ukuhlaziya, ngamanye amaxesha, akunakwenzeka. Ukuze ugweme oku, kufuneka uhlale umtshato ngokuchanekileyo. Yenza ubuncinane izinto ezahlukeneyo ebomini bakho kunye. Zama into entsha. Emva koko, amadoda anyanisekile, afuna ukuhlala kunye nentombazana ebhedini, kodwa abakwazi ukwenza oku. Yaye wena, ewe, awuvumeli ukuba enze oku. Emva koko, unzulu, uyazicinga. Ndiza kudlala kunye nani ixesha elifutshane, hambani ncinane, kwaye nibuyele kuni. Oko kukucacileyo ukuba umyeni wakhe uya kufuna ukubuyela emva, kuba wenza oko okwesikhashana. Wayefanelwe yonke into emtshatweni, wayefuna nje utshintsho, yikho konke.
Yingakho abasetyhini bebudlelwane obudinga ukunyamekela iimfuno zomyeni wakhe. Emva kwakho konke, kungekhona okwenu kuphela, kodwa neminqweno yakhe kufuneka izaliseke. Emva koko amathuba okuwa komtshato angaphantsi. Unokuphepha iingxabano ezingadingekile ezivela ezintweni ezincinci.
Siye sahlalutya izizathu ezininzi zokuba kungani amadoda eshiya abafazi kwaye azama ukubuyela. Ezi zizathu zifanelekile ezo zibini ezifanelekileyo kunye nolwalamano, kwaye zidibene kunye, kodwa imitshato emide ngoku iyingxaki. Iingcebiso eziphambili: emva kokuqhawula umtshato akukhawulezi ukulibala malunga nentanda yakho, mlindele ukuba abize, okanye, nangona iqhayiya lakhe lingavumeli, mbizele yena. Xoxa naye ngobomi, cela into ayithandanga ngayo ngokuhlala kunye nawe, mhlawumbi unako ukulungisa ezi mpazamo kwaye yonke into iya kukulungele.