Kwaye bonke abantu basoloko bethetha ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba baphupha ngentlungu ephumayo yentsapho, abantwana kunye nomfazi onothando, kodwa kungekhona ngoku, kodwa kwixesha elizayo.
Makhe sibone ukuba kutheni amadoda esaba ulwalamano olunzulu? Isizathu esiqhelekileyo kukuba ukungafuni 'ukubopha' ngenxa yamanvelana angaphumelelanga kwixesha elidlulileyo kwaye, njengommiselo, xa umntu ekhungathekile ngolwalamano oluthandanayo, ngakumbi xa ekhula ukwesaba ukungaphumeleli kwakhona, ngokulandelanayo, abafuni ukuzibophelela ekudibeneyo ubudlelwane bexesha elide kunye ngesini esahlukileyo. Amadoda abagcina umtshato kunye nokwabelana kwipropati yezihlobo kunye nabahlobo bafuna ukuba "bahlehlise" iziganeko ezikhohlakeleyo, kuba, ngokwenene, ukwahlukana kwintlobo yokutshatyalaliswa kwesondo esomeleleyo, ngoko amadoda azama ukungawunqobi endleleni yokuphila. Amanye amadoda ahlala ekhangela umfazi ofanelekileyo, kuba uyona mhle kunabo bonke, owaziyo kwaye onothando, uya kuhlala eqonda kwaye efudumele. Ukufumana ezinye iintsilelo kwabanye abathintela ubuhlobo obunzulu, indoda "iyahlutha" umviwa ngenxa yokungahambelani kunye nenjongo yakhe. Amanye amadoda, enoba sele esithandana nesiqingatha saso sesibini, zama ukuphepha ukuthetha ngokuhlala ndawonye, nje ukukholelwa ukuba okwangoku kusondele kakhulu ukucinga malunga nawaphi na amathuba. Amadoda amaninzi, nangona aphelisa umtshato, ekugqibeleni, azibophelela ngomtshato. Kodwa kukho iindidi zamadoda angenako ukuzinxulumana okuzinzile nokuhlala njalo. Amanye amadoda aneengqondo ezinzulu azama ukukhawuleza. Esikhundleni sokukhula kwexesha elide, aba bameli besini esomeleleyo abazange bathuthuke kwaye besaba ukuzisa ubomi bemihla ngemihla yobudlelwane beentsapho zabo ebomini babo. Olunye uhlobo lwamadoda, okubizwa ngokuba yi "bachelors enzima". Njengomthetho, sele sele sele beneminyaka engama-35 ukuya kwimi-40 ubudala, aba bantu bajwayele ukuhlala bodwa, bathembele kuphela kwabo kwaye bathembele ngokupheleleyo kwizinto zabo ebomini babo. Uvakalelwa isithintelo kumfazi, eqonda ukuba uqala ukubamba ukubaluleka ebomini bakhe, loo mntu uqala ngokuzikhethela ukuzidela - ukhansela ukutyunjwa, ubiza umncinci ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ubhekisela kwimicimbi engxamisekileyo. Iibhilikliya ezinzima ziyanqwenela ukumema ibhinqa endlwini yabo, kungekhona ukuba bathethe ukuba baphile phantsi kophahla olufanayo. Kungcono udideke kumadoda anjalo, ngaphandle kokuba, ngokukodwa, ukhankanywa kwindima yokuba ngumhlobo ongunaphakade.
Yintoni thina, ubulili obuhle, ngokuthanda ukuhlala nomntu othandekayo ubomi obude kunye nobonwabileyo? Indlela yodwa yokuguqula ubudlelwane nomntu kwimpilo ende kunye nozinzile kukuvuma imbono yakhe. Uhlala ehlushwa umntu onemibuzo malunga nethemba lekamva elizayo, umfazi uqala ukubeka iiplummati "Ngoko, andithandi! "" Andikukhathaleli! "Njalo njalo. , uqala ukukhala nokudabuka. Ezi ndlela ziphantse zinike i-fissure ebusondeleyo kulwalamano kwaye zikhokelela kwimiphumo eyahlukileyo. Indoda, ebona iintlungu kunye neentlungu zomlingane wayo, inquma ukushiya, ukwenzela ukuba ungabi noluvo lwezono ezigqithiseleyo kuzo zonke ezinye iimvakalelo.
Kodwa kukho imiqondiso yokuba unokuqonda ngokucacileyo ukuba ulwalamano olunzulu ebomini bomntu luphambili kwaye uphatha umlingane wakhe ngokufanelekileyo nangomdla. Isibonakaliso sokuqala sinokumiselwa ukuba kwingxoxo yendoda ekhethiweyo okanye nabahlobo isigamazithi "thina" sibonakala ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Ingqondo yengqondo yabantu ithi xa umntu eqala ukuchonga omnye umntu, uye wayeka ukuyeka isikhundla sakhe njengesizungu kwaye wakha ikusasa lakhe kunye neqabane lakhe. Ukuba uchitha ixesha elide kunye, oku kukuphawu lolwalamano olunzulu. Indoda engenayo umdla wokwabelana ngexesha kunye nomfazi (ngaphandle kokuba le nto ayiyithandani yothando), iya kuchitha ixesha lakhe elikhululekile kwizemidlalo, izinto ezithandwayo okanye ukuzonwabisa kwiqela elihle labangane. Ubungqina bokuba nethemba kunye nesimo esikhethekileyo yinto yokuba umntu unako ukubeka "imidlalo yamathandayo" - ikhompyutha, imoto nezinye izinto ezithandekayo kuye kumfazi wayo. I-quarrel enye uphawu lolwalamano olunzulu. Kuphela indoda ethandwayo, oxabisa umfazi wayo, uya kuchitha ixesha kunye neentlungu ekuxabaneni nomlingane wakhe. Ngokwemvelo, injongo yobudlelwane obukhulu phakathi kwabantu ixabana nesiphumo esihle. Umqondiso obalulekileyo wobudlelwane obunzulu uqhelana nabazali kunye nabahlobo. Abahlobo uluntu lomntu apho angaba khona kwaye aphumle, ngoko ke, ukumazi bakhe bakhe nabazali bakhe okanye ngabahlobo bakhe, indoda ifuna imvume kunye neembono kubantu abalulekileyo. Eyona nto, uphawu olucacileyo kakhulu nolucacileyo lobungakanani bentsebenziswano lukwakheka kwezicwangciso kunye namathuba okuza kubakho kwixesha elizayo. Oku kuthetha ukuba indoda iqala ukuthatha uxanduva ngokuzikhethela yena kuphela, kodwa nakumfazi wayo othandekayo. Kwaye ukuba indoda ithe yanquma ukuhlala kunye nentanda yakhe, masibe nencoko yokuba le nto iyisiqalo, ukujonga bhetele umhlobo, ngokungathandabuzekiyo, eli liyinyathelo elide kwicala elifanelekileyo.
Ziziphi iintlobo zamabhinqa ezithandwayo kwaye zikhethwa ngabantu abanobuchule obunzulu bokubambisana? Abasetyhini abamnika ithuba lokuba bazive njengendoda engayinyanzeli into yokutya kwasekuseni kwaye ilawula ngokuthe ngqo iintlanganiso kunye nabahlobo abaziqondayo nabamkela iimfuno zabantu. Umlingane onobuhlakani, onokuthetha ngaye nasiphi na isihloko. Indoda enentlonelo ephulaphula uluvo lwakhe, nangona engavumelani naye, idiplomatic kunye neengqiqo kwiimeko ezinzima. Naluphi na umfazi indoda ekhethela yona, kubalulekile ukuhlala kuye eyona nto ibhetele kakhulu! Musa ukulibala ukuba iimvakalelo ezinzulu azifani nabantu kwaye isizathu esiyinhloko esikhokela umntu kwihlabathi lobomi bentsapho sihlala sithanda!