Umehluko kwiminyaka
Enye ye mibuzo yokuqala abazali abajamelana nayo: ngaluphi umdala umntwana oza kuba lula ukuqonda ukubonakala komzalwana okanye udade. Iingcali zengqondo azicebisi ukuqikelela ukuzalwa kweyesibini (yesithathu, yesine) umntwana phantsi koonyana bokuqala. Uhlala efika kweli hlabathi ngexesha! Kodwa ukwazi iziganeko zonyaka ngamnye akuphazamisi.
• Kwiminyaka eyi-1,5-2
Oonyana bokuqala akaqondi kakuhle yena, "iiproti" iimvakalelo zabazali kwaye, mhlawumbi, kulula kwaye ziza kuthatha kuwe uthando kumncinci. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abantwana bazikhumbula ngokwabo malunga neminyaka emine ubudala, ngoko kunokwenzeka ukuba ixesha lokuzalwa kwabazali kuphela liza ku libala. Ingxaki yomona ayiyi kuba yinkcenkceshe, njengoko kwiminyaka emi-5-6 yintandokazi jikelele. Kwaye inkathazo yeminyaka emithathu, inokwenzeka, iya kuhamba ngokuthe tye.
• Kwiminyaka emi-3-5
Ukulungiselela umntwana utshintsho olwenzeka kwintsapho, udinga ngokucokisekileyo. Ukuthintela uxinzelelo oluvela kubonakala "kumhlaseli weklabishi," zama ukwenza umntwana ube ngumhlanganyeli opheleleyo kwiziganeko. Kufuneka uphulaphule uluvo lwakhe, ukhusele ukuzithemba, ukhuthaze ukuziphatha, ngaphandle koko awukwazi ukuphepha umona. Ngokwenza njalo, khumbula ukuba abantwana banokudlala kunye ngokukhawuleza. Kwaye kungcono ukuba ungashiyi omnye mncinane omnye nomnye ekuqaleni. Kule meko, ithuba lokulimala umntwana luphezulu - kungekhona ngobugqwetha, kodwa ngolawulo.
• Uneminyaka eyi-6-8
Umama udinga owokuzalwa ongaphantsi kwintsana. Ubomi bakhe buyatshintsha kakhulu: ukuzimela, uxanduva. Igama elithi "akunakwenzeka" liqala ukutshintshwa yinto ethi "kufuneka": kufuneka ifunde, yenza izigqibo, ithole indawo yayo kwiqela ... Ayithatha iinyanga ezimbalwa ukulungelelanisa iimeko ezintsha, njengoko abazali abaninzi bacinga, kodwa iminyaka eyi-1.5-2. Ngako oko, kufuneka ukuba unike umfundi ngokubonakala kwintsana njengelungu elitsha lentsapho. Futhi musa ukwenza umntwana wokuqala wesibini okanye uyise.
Ngexesha lokukhulelwa
Ukuze umntwana afike esikolweni esiprayimari, usana olusana oluswini lufana nomfokazi kwi-spaceship. Isimo sakhe sengqondo kumntwana, uya kwakha ngokusekelwe kwinto akuva kwabanye. Ngako oko, ukuzazisa abantwana kubunye kufuneka kube kusengaphambili.
Yintoni endiyenzayo?
Sitshele oko esiza kuzalwa: into encinci, engakwazi ukuhamba, iya kusela ubisi kwaye ikhale. Bonisa umntwana usana lwakhe lwezithombe kunye nosana lwesithombe kwi-ultrasound. Makhe ndichukumise okanye ndilinganise isisu sam. Buza umntwana oko akukhumbulayo ngaye ngokwakhe ukususela kwiintsana. Mxelele ukuba naye uhlala emlonyeni wakho, kwaye naye wadla khona (makamthinte, afake izandla zakhe kunye nemilenze).
Yintoni okufanele ndiyiphephe?
1) Ukuba ufunde ngokukhulelwa kwakho, ungayifihli kumntwana osekhulile. Musa ukumisela imihla yokuhanjiswa kweendaba (emva kwe-ultrasound, ukuhlolwa kathathu, iveki, umyalelo, ngoMatshi 8). Ukuxhalaba kwakho, ukungaqiniseki, ukutya okunomdaka kunokunkwantya kwaye kuphazamise umntwana, kwaye ukungathembeki kwakho nokungafuni ukwabelana naye kuya kumisa kulo mcimbi.
2) Musa ukumisela umntwana wakho "kwizicwangciso zabantwana." Kunzima ukuba aqonde malunga naluphi na ubudala. Musa ukubuza: "Kutheni singenawo umntwana? Kuthekani ukuba sithenge wena udade? "Khumbula indlela umyeni wakhe asabela ngayo kuloo ndlela. Musa ukucwangcisa nomntwana into ongekwazi ukuyilungisa. Kubalulekile ukufundisa umntwana ukuba athathe. Abantwana beza kuthando xa befuna, kwaye kungekhona xa "baceba kwaye bavuma."
3) Lindela umntwana ongu-2 kunye, kodwa hlonela iimvakalelo zakho zakudala. Ukuba akanelisekanga ngento yokuba umzalwana okanye udade uya kubonakala, cela oko kunokubanceda ukuba benze abahlobo baze bathandane. Iindlela zokwenza oku zinokuba buninzi. Phakamisa umntwana ukuba ahlasele isisu sakho, khuluma nomputi, "khuphela" i-lullaby kwi disk, udwebe umfanekiso, wenze isakhelo sesithombe kwi-ultrasound, ihlaya, uncedo ukuqokelela isikhalazo, ukhethe igama kunye nokunye okuninzi.
Uvela phi le ntsana?
Phakathi kwemibandela enzima eyenziwa ngabantwana abadala, le yinto ebunzima kakhulu. Ukukhangela impendulo efanelekileyo, kukho imigaqo emininzi. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba utshele umntwana ngokuzalwa kwakhe. Ukuba umntwana uneminyaka emithathu ukuya kwintlanu ubudala, iindaba malunga neesorkorks kunye neklabishi zifanelekile. Kodwa lungiselele ukuba kungekudala umntwana wamanje uya kukwazi inyaniso, kwaye unokulahlekelwa ukuthembeka. Ngoko ke, kungcono ukuxelela ukuba kunjalo, kodwa ukuphepha iinkcukacha zomzimba. I-Physiology ingaba yisisombululo sokwesaba okuhlukeneyo, umntwana angakwazi ukuza "nezilwanyana ezivela kwisisu". Ibali elifanelekileyo liza kuba ibali lothando lwakho kunye nokulindela kwalo (balindele wena njengomzalwana). Yithobela imeko yakho. Ukuba umama ngokwakhe ukhathazekile kwaye uyazifihla iimvakalelo zakhe - ayiyiyo imvakalelo ecacileyo kumntwana. Zama ukumchazela oko ucinga ngaso sonke ixesha-uxinzelelo lwakho lufanele luhlulwe. Yaye nikela ingqalelo oko uguqulela kumgangatho wamagama. Umntwana unokuqonda umsebenzi wokuthatha inxaxheba ebomini bentsana njengento ecebisayo, kwaye unomdla kakhulu. Ngubani na ukuba ngaba ngabazalwana kunye nodade abadala, bafundisa ngokufihlakeleyo konke abantu abadala abakuthandayo ukuba bathule, okanye banqatshelwe nonke? Fundisa umntwana ukuba abuze: "Mama, ucinga ukuba ndibambe umntakwethu?" Okanye "Ukuba ndimxelela ukuba ndilwa njani." Buza impendulo: "Nawe?" Fundisa umntwana ukuba aphephe ukuyila "Ndingakwazi?" Ufundisa ukuba ungayithobeli, kodwa uxoxisane kwaye uthathe uxanduva oluthile.
Iingcebiso eziNcedo
Musa ukuqhuba iingxoxo zemfundo (okunokwenzeka, ukuba akunakwenzeka). Ukuvavanya umgangatho wezakhono ezizimeleyo zomdala kunye nokuzibandakanya ekuqiniseni kwabo: unokutya, ahambe ebhodweni, aye kulala. Kancinci ukuzisa izithintelo: kufuneka udlale ngokukhululekileyo, umama akakwazi ukukuthatha ezandleni zakho (ukhathele). Kodwa ungahambelani nemingcipheko ngokubonakala komntwana kwangaphambili. Funda iincwadi apho kukho abazalwana abazalwana. Gxininisa ingqalelo yomntwana wokuqala kwiinkqubo zokukhusela abantwana kunye nokukhusela. Kwaye bahlala "ngabahlobo bomphefumlo". Thatha umntwana omdala indima ekulungiselelweni kokubeletha (jonga amatsha amathoyizi amasha kunye). Unako ukukhetha nokunika umntwana ongakazalwa unxibo zakhe ezincinane. Nangona ngexesha lokukhulelwa, fundisa umntwana ukuba achithe ixesha kunye nabanye abadala. Kule njongo, mema ugogo okanye unina kusengaphambili. Amalungu entsapho ahlukeneyo aya kusasaza iimvakalelo ezintle malunga nokubonakala kweemvuthu, kwaye zibandakanye umntwana wokuqala kule "mdlalo".
Taboo ngamazwi angenangqiqo:
1) kwaye asifumani ... (umntwana akakwazi ukugqiba isigqibo).
2) Sizakukuthenga umzalwana ... (umzalwana akayikho itekisi).
3) Ukuba uziphatha kakubi - masibuyele esibhedlele ... (musa ukusebenzisa iimvakalelo zomntwana).
4) Ewe, yonke into, ngoku sele udala ... (yena ungumntwana ofana naye ngaphambili).
5) Awufanele uphose udade omncinci, uya kuba mncinci ... (musa ukukrokra ukwesaba kwakho kumntwana).
6) Siyakukuthanda ... (musa ukwenza umona).
Ibinzana ezifanelekileyo:
1) Kungekudala umzalwana wakho oyinyaniso uza kubonakala (kungekhona umzala, kodwa ufana).
2) Kwaye ndingenalo udade ebuntwaneni bam (akukho mntu ukukhusela, akukho mntu udlala kunye ...).
3) Siyakuthanda rhoqo, sisapho lwakho (qiniseka ukuba kuya kuba njalo).
4) Xa usesiswini sam, uninzi (unike umqondo wokuphakama).
5) Bizela umntwana "umntwana wethu" (gxi ninisa ukubandakanyeka kwentsapho yonke).
Ukubeletha kunye nentlanganiso yokuqala
• Abaninzi beengqondo bacebisa unina, ngexesha lokukhutshwa ekhaya lokubeleka, ukuba umntwana avambe umbelethisi okanye umyeni wakhe ukuba amkele umntwana omdala aze amxelele ukuba uyavuya kangakanani ukumbona.
• Ukwazisa abantwana omnye komnye: "Le yinkwenkwe, jonga amehlo akhe amancinci-imilenze, usenjalo." Yibambe kwaye uthinte. Uze ungabonakali ukwesaba okukwesaba (kwaye ngokukhawuleza uyayiphonsa?) Kwaye, ngokuchaseneyo, musa ukuguqula umntwana ube yidonki.
• Iifoto abantwana ndawonye esibhedlele, makhe umdala akunike iintyatyambo. Chaza ukuba uneholide malunga nokubonakala kwilungu elitsha lentsapho, kwaye ubomi bakho buya kuba mnandi ngakumbi kwaye bumnandi. Ukunyamekela ukuqala komntwana okokuqala kwisistim: ukukhala komntwana, umzabalazo wendawo ehamba nomama wakhe. Buza, mhlawumbi umntwana uyavusa umdala, kwaye ufuna ukulala kwelinye igumbi. Bonke abantwana abancinci banokuzimela, ukuzinza kubomi kubalulekile kubo, kwaye into entsha isoloko ibonwa njengengcinezelo. Ngoko ke, ukuba umemele iindwendwe ukuba uncoma umntwana osanda kuzalwa, bacele ukuba bazise isipho esincinci kubazali bokuqala. Okanye yenza izi zipho ngokwakho.
Ingxaki ezinokwenzeka kumama
Ukuba, nangona zonke izilumkiso kunye nezikhuthazo, uqaphele ukuba abadala bakho banomona - bayavuya. Oku kuthetha ukuba umfaniso wemihla ngemihla apho abantwana bafunda ukuxazulula iingxabano, bafumane ukuyekethisa, ukwabelana kunye nokwenza izigqibo, ukuze lo msebenzi ungabikho uxinzelelo lwemihla ngemihla kwaye awuguquleli ikhaya lakho elihle kwi-gehena, ugcine ulawulo olulula. Musa ukwesaba ngenxa naziphi na izizathu kwaye ufunde ukubona oko kukuthi, kwaye akusikho into oyikayo. Kuye kuwe ukuba ube nomnqweno wokuba umncinci ngokuqinisekileyo akayi kuba nelwane ngokwaneleyo luthando lwakho, kwaye umdala uya kukhula ngokuthe tye ukuba abe ngumntu ongenamdla. Funda ukucela. Kwiimpendulo kwimibandela elula "yintoni oyikisayo," "kutheni uthukuthele ngoku," isisombululo seengxaki ezinkulu zifihliwe. Yiba njalo. Ukuba into ayinakwenzeka, ayikwazi ukuhlala ikhona, kwaye kungekhona ukuba "ukuba ufuna ngokwenene, ngoko unako." Musa ukulinda iziphumo ezikhawulezayo. Dumisani iziphumo kwaye masenze iphutha. Ukuba uthumela abantwana ukuhamba, khumbula ukuba bobabini uhamba, kwaye akukho namnye ohamba ngomnye. Kuya kuba nexesha elaneleyo ngaphambi kokuba umdala anike uncedo olwaneleyo. Khumbula ukuba iimvakalelo ezintsha zomntwana ngokumalunga nezinto ezintsha ziqhelekileyo. Uyavuma ukuba akayithandi i-beetroot, i-sandalaki okanye u-Aunt Masha. Kodwa kukho kwakhona "ukuphambuka".
Ingxaki ezinokuthi zenzeke kumntwana wokuqala:
- ubuyele kwithuba eliphambili lokuphuhliswa (umntwana uqala ukulila, ukulwa nomlenze, wenqaba ukulala embhedeni wakhe, akafuni ukucela ukuya kwindlu yangasese);
- ubugwenxa kubancinci nabazali;
- abakhohlisi, ukulahlwa kwemeko, izinsongo zokushiya indlu;
- iziphakamiso eziqhubekayo "ukubuyisela umntwana", anike, anike;
- ukutsala ingqalelo yabazali (ukugula, ukuziphatha kakubi, ukusebenza kwezemfundo ezingekho kakuhle, ukuxhamla, ukukhohlisa, ubuxoki).
Yintoni endiyenzayo?
Umntwana omdala akufanele akhule kunye ncinane. Ungumntwana onjalo. Xa utsho ukuba "udala kwaye kufuneka", ngokucacileyo ukuqhankqalaza kuya kuba. Khuthaza "ukuziphatha okungenazinkathazo" xa umntwana engagula, uziphatha kakuhle, usebenza ngokuzimeleyo. Fumana ixesha kunye namazwi ukuvavanya. Yiya ngeendlela ezintsha; "Ndiyayiqonda ukuba ngoku ndiye ndandisa iimbandezelo zam, kodwa ndifuna ukwenza into kunye kunye nobusuku / kusasa / uLwesibini. Ngaba ucinga ukuba kungenziwa (upheke isidlo sakusasa ngobawo, hamba i-yoga, uhlabelele i-karaoke, ugibe embhedeni, uphuke, udlale umdlalo wekhompyutha ...)? Chaza ukuba ufuna inkxaso yakhe, uncede ukuqonda ukubaluleka kwayo, ukubaluleka kwayo uncedo kumama. Ifom yolu ncedo kufuneka akhethe ngokwakhe. Phakamisa ukhetho kwaye uze ne-deal, nxaxheba kwizinto ezenzekayo. Khetha kwizinto ezizithandayo ezigxininisa ukuzimela komntwana. Nayiphi na imidlalo efanelekileyo: "yizisa umququ, wenze isidleke." Kodwa apha, kwaye unokuba nezicelo ezinzulu: "Qoqa isikhwama, lungisa iingubo zakho," "Nceda undinike i-napkin okanye i-napkin." Qinisekisa ukuba uqhubeke uwanga, ukhonkxa owokuqala, uhlabe intloko. Ukuqhagamshelana noTactile kukuba uphawu olungabonakaliyo apho umntwana ongenawo umlomo anqumle indawo yakho kuyo. Gcina imizuzu yokunxibelelana nomntwana: qhubeka ufunda iindaba zebusuku uze udle amajuba ekuseni. Ingqalelo engakumbi emva kokuzalwa komntwana kufuneka inikwe umntwana omdala. Zama ukubandakanya kuzo zonke iimeko ezingafuneki ukuba khona kwakho kubandakanye umyeni wakho, ugogo nomkhulu. Ixesha elikhululekile, unikezele amazibulo. Buza: "Ungathanda ukuyenza ntoni na?" Nangona kunjalo, musa ukuthumela umntwana omdala kumakhulu, unina okanye iintsuku ezintlanu, ukuze angamlimazi. Akukho nto ibuhlungu njengale. Phila ubunzima ndawonye. Hlala usaphila nonina.