Sadibana xa ndandineminyaka eli-18 ubudala. Uneminyaka engama-5 ubudala, uphumelele kwiyunivesiti, kwaye ndangena nje. Ndamkhangela ngomlomo wam evulekile: umhle, omude, onobuqili obulumko, umfundi kwiyunivesithi yezokwelapha, phantse ugqirha. Kwaye ndingumfana osemncinci, ongenalwazi, ongakhuselekanga neengxaki zam. Ndibonakala ngathi ndiyamthanda ngeendlebe zam, uya kuzixazulula zonke iingxaki zam. Ngokwengxenye bekuyiyo. Ulwalamano lwethu lwaphuhliswa ngokukhawuleza. Andiyifuni ukuthanda. Unentsapho enokwenza kakuhle, ungumqeshwa onomzuzu omhlanu weziko elifanelekileyo kwisixeko esinethemba elihle. Ngaphandle kwakhe ndiziva ndilungile. Xa umama evela kwidolophana encinane, ndambulisa, ndamxelela ukuba wayemnandi kangakanani, liza kuba lixesha elizayo elilindelekileyo.
Akuzange kuthathe ixesha elide ukulinda. Undenzele umnikelo. Abazali bavunywa. Bedlala umtshato omangalisayo, ndaziva ngathi ndindlovukazi phakathi kwabalingane nabo kunye namantombazana, endingazicingayo, ndiba nomona. Sathuthela kwindlu entsha ebanzi, eyabelwe ngabazali bakhe. Umama-mkhwenkwe ndabona ngokungaqhelekanga, kodwa ngokufanelekileyo, njengoko bethetha. Kodwa akuzange andiyeke, intandokazi eyona nto yayisondele, kwaye yonke into yayiyinto enhle kuthi. Saqala inja, sahamba ngokuhlwa kunye naye emaplanga. Ndikhulelwe. Ngelo xesha ndandisemazulwini asixhenxe ngonwabile. Umyeni uyeka ukulungela. Ubomi buqala ngokukhawuleza buphazamise ubomi. Ndiyakhumbula ukuba kwinyanga yeshumi elithandathu yokukhulelwa ndahlamba iindlu kule ndlu enkulu, ndibhaka idada, ukuze ndingangeni emdakeni ngobuso bam kwaye ndingabonakali ukuba ndibi kangakanani. Nguwuphi kuphela owawufuna? Ngoku ndiyazi ukuba akukho mntu. Umntwana wazalwa. Umyeni wam, umkhwekazi wandinika izipho ze-chic. Ndaqeshwe ngumntwana oncedayo ukuze ndize ndingaphuthelwa esikolweni. Yonke into ibonakala ingento, kodwa indlu yonke yajika ibe yinto yam ngokupheleleyo ... Ebusuku ndondla umntwana, ndabonakalisa ubisi, ukuze kusasa ndihambe ngunyana wam kwaye ndibalekele esikolweni. Ukuncenga nokucinga kwakungekho. Ewe, kunzima ukuphuma, kodwa akulula ukupheka, kodwa banceda.
Okwangoku, umyeni wam waphumelela eyunivesithi waza waqala ukusebenza. Ndayeka ukumbona, iintlanganiso zethu zaba ngaphantsi nangaphantsi. Ndandihlala ndizincama, bathi, yonke into ilungile, ngoko wonke umntu uphila, ndinemali eyaneleyo, uncedo, ndivumela ukuba ndizenze izinto zam kunye noko ndifuna ukukwenza! Ewe, wam umyeni? Umyeni uya kusetshenziselwa, kuba akazange asebenze ngaphambili, kwaye siya kuphinda sondele kwakhona ... Ezi zihlandlo zafika ngokwenene ngeveki ... Kodwa ke waqala ukulala emsebenzini, athathe imisebenzi emininzi, ebonisa ukuba kufuneka asebenze, afumane amava. Ndavuma. Unyana wam wakhula. Ubomi buqhubeka njengesiqhelo. Ndaya emsebenzini. Kwaye ndaqala ukuqonda ukuba ubomi obu ndiphila ngoku, abuyami. Umama-mkhwenkwe ngokuphindaphindiweyo wayedla ngobudlelwane bethu. Kwaye ndaxelela umyeni wam ukuba andifuni ukuhlala njengaye. Ndakucebisa ukuba aqeshe izindlu ezihlukeneyo kwaye azame ukuhlala ngokuzimela ngaphandle kootitshala kubazali bakhe. Wavuma. Ixesha lidlule. Akukho nto yayitshintshileyo, yangenza ndagula ukuba ndibuyele ekhaya. Ngenye imini ndavakalisa ukuba ndimshiya. Akazange akholelwe. Ndaqeshisa indlu, ndaqokelela izinto zam kwaye ndathutha nomntwana. Abazali bakhe bathabatha imoto, iingubo kunye nezinye iingubo. Zonke izihlobo zakhe zange zingathethi nam. Enye kuphela ndazi ukuba kwenzekani emphefumlweni wam, indlela endandiziva ngayo. Kodwa ndazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba akukho ndlela yokubuya.
Ekuqaleni kwakunzima kum, kodwa abazali bam bancedisa kwaye bancedisa. Kwaye emva kwexesha ndafumanisa ukuba umyeni wam wayesitshintshile rhoqo. Ndaqhubeka nokusebenza, ndakwazi ukufumana isikhundla sokuphatha, kwaye ndafumana ukuzithemba ngokupheleleyo kwam buchule. Wazama ukubuyela kum. Ndinefesti emnyango ofanayo, apho saqasha umkhwenyana wam unyana, kodwa ndandithandabuzi ngokukhawuleza.
Ngoku ndithenge izindlu kwindawo yokuthenga imali, ngokuqinisekileyo kungekho ngoncedo lwezizalwane, kwaye ndihlala kunye nendodana yam, ndiziva ndivuyiswa kakhulu kwihlabathi!