Emva kokufa komyeni wam wokuqala, ndacinga ukuba andisayi kuphinda nditshata. Wahlala ngokuthula waza wanyusa intombi yakhe. Ndiyamazi malunga neminyaka emi-5. Sasingabangani, ukuba ingabizwa oko. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza wafaka phambi kwe nyaniso, uya kuba ngumfazi wam, ndikulindele ixesha elide. Kwaye emva kweenyanga ezintandathu satshata. Kwakunemvakalelo emangalisa, ubudlelwane bokuthabatha ... Yonke into yayihamba njengephupha iminyaka emi-2. Enye ibhinqa, EYE, yayisondele kuye phambi kwam, kodwa yaziswa njengomhlobo wobuntwana, waqala ukuhalalisela ngosuku lwakhe lomtshato, kwaye andizange ndidide ukucinga ukuba yena nomyeni wakhe babe nobuhlobo obusondeleyo.
Kwiminyaka emihle kwiminyaka yethu enhle yayingekho ekugqibeleni (ubuncinci, andingazi). Ngaloo suku olubi sasixabana, umyeni wam wayenomona kakhulu kum, kodwa ke yonke into yayihlukile; Wenza konke ukuze ndive ngathi unetyala malunga nokuxabana kwethu, nangona andingenanto nantoni na. Kwaye sahlukana, saqala ukuhlala ngokwahlukileyo. Ndiye ndedwa, kwaye wadibana naye, nangona andingazi loo nto. Kwiinyanga ezintandathu kamva, wandibiza waza wabeka phambi kweqiniso-bahlangene. Ndibafuna konke okusemgangathweni ebomini bam bomi, ndangena emsebenzini kunye nemfundo yentombi yam.
Okwenzekayo kum umphefumlo wam kwakungenakwenzeka ukuchaza ngoku ngoku. Ndabhala iileta. Kuye kubhekiswe iileta. Ayithunyelwanga kummkeli. Iminyaka emi-2 kunye neenyanga ezi-3 zoxinzelelo lwengqondo, iinyembezi emlanjeni, ukukrazula ebumnyameni ... Yintoni endisindayo ke andiyazi ukuba yintoni endigcinayo ekwenzeni izinto ezimbi andingazi. Iifowuni zakhe ezingaqhelekanga kunye neefmms .... Ungubani? Njani impilo yakho? Njengentombi? Kwaye ke sadibana .. Abathathu kuthi ... Ngethuba lokuqala abathathu kuthi .. Ekuqaleni ndacinga, ndaphupha ukuba uya kuqonda into eyiphutha awayeyenzile, ndishiye, kodwa ukuphela kwakungekho kwicala lam. Watsho kelela ukuba wayetyekele kwenye into, amandla angaqondakaliyo awakwazi ukumelana naye ukuba angamhlangabezi. Kodwa ngelo xesha, umyeni wam akazange afune umtshato osemthethweni, mhlawumbi ndingazi kakuhle ukuba ndimthandile lonke eli xesha kwaye ndamlindela
Ngokuziqhelana kwethu, ndiyazi ukuba ubomi bakhe bentsapho kunye naye kwakungekho konke ayekucingayo. Okanye mhlawumbi, uthelekise ubudlelwane bethu. Baqala ukuhlambalaza, ukukhweleka kwakhe ngokumalunga nam, kuba ndisahlala nomfazi wakhe wesigqeba kwaye ndingafuni ukudala naye inxalenye esemthethweni yoluntu. Kusuka "kwintsapho" yabo bonke abahlobo bethu bahamba, ezinye izalamane kunye neentsapho zabo zamgweba, kuba beyazi ukuba ungubani umntu.
Kwaye kwenzeka. Ndabona ukuba wayesentolongweni. Waza wayibeka inkosikazi yakhe. Xa ndafumanisa ukuba wayesentolongweni, ndazama ukufumana. Ngubani okhangelayo, uya kuhlala efumana. Kwaye ndafumanisa. Ukufika ngomhla, ndandinika uncedo, kungekhona njengomfazi okanye njengowesifazane, kodwa njengomntu. Ndazi ukuba oko kwakuyisohlwayo esinzima kumntu owenze iphutha ngokukhetha kwakhe, kwaye akukho mntu ufanele afakwe entolongweni. Wenqaba ukuwamkela uncedo njengamthandayo, wacela ukuxolelwa, wathi wayiqonda impazamo yakhe ngoku kwaye akayi kutshintshanisa kuwo nabani na.
Intliziyo yam iyathuthumela, kuba ndandithanda umyeni wam kwaye ndifuna ukugcina konke okulungileyo phakathi kwethu. Ndayazi ukuba naye uvakalelwa iimvakalelo zothando kum kwaye ndandisenhliziyweni yam. Kwaye yonke into, oku kungaqondi kakuhle, umona nomsindo omnye komnye. Ngenxa yokuphikisana okuqhelekileyo, sahlukana, sithukuthelelane, sibonisa ukratshi, nangona kwakubonakele. Sakwazi ukuhamba kuzo zonke iindidi zeesihogo ndawonye, sasihlangene kwaye "sibanjwe ngezandla" ngexesha ebezibonakalisa zimsulwa. Andizange ndithembele nantoni na, de kube sekupheleni, andizange ndikholelwe ukuba siya kuba kunye, kodwa ndandifuna ukukunceda. Kwaye sinako. Wagwetywa waza wakhululwa. Kwaye wafika ukuthetha nam.
Ndixolele .. Sathetha naye ixesha elide, satshela omnye nomnye okwenzekileyo kwiminyaka emi-2. Ndinike zonke iincwadi ezingabathumeli endazibhalela zona. Ngoku sihlangene. Mhlawumbi, lo lunyanisekileyo uthando, xa uqonda kwaye uxolela. Sasiwela yonke into embi, sikhohlwe zonke izikhalazo nokungaqondani ... Okona kubaluleke kakhulu, ngoku ayikho indawo ebomini bethu yomona nokungathembeki. Kwakudingeka ukuba ube nobulumko ngaphambili, ube nomonde uze uxubushe nomlingane imeko evelele ngasese. Emva kwakho konke, ngaphandle kokuthenjwa, akukho MTHANDO. Sasiyiqonda yonke impazamo yethu, nangona singalibali ixesha elidlulileyo, kodwa sibheke kwixesha elizayo, apho ububele, ububele, ukuthembela, ukunyaniseka kuqhutywe .... Kulo, esikhathini esizayo, singabantu abadala, sondla abazukulu bethu, sihlala kwindawo yomlilo size sikhumbule zonke izihlandlo ezimangalisayo zokudala intsapho yethu eqinile.