Ubomi bentsapho alisoloko luzisa uvuyo kwaye kaninzi abafazi bacinga ukuba kulungile ukuqhubeka nokugcina intsapho okanye ukuyeka konke okungcono? Ngaba kukufanelekile ukuba uhlale nomyeni ophuzayo okanye ingumntu oneminyaka engapheliyo?
Kwimeko apho umbuzo uvela khona: kukufanelekile ukuba uphile nomyeni onxilisayo ubomi bakhe bonke, kubalulekile ukuqonda iingongoma ezimbalwa kwaye uze unike impendulo. Kwaye ukuqala, mhlawumbi, kuyimfuneko ngobudlelwane bakho nomyeni wakhe. Uvakalelwa njani ngawe, ngaba uyakuthanda? Akunjalo ngamagama, kodwa ngezenzo. Kwenzeka ukuba ibhinqa lihlala nabantu abaphuzayo, kodwa nangona kuxhomekeke kuye, unako ukubonelela, ininzi ngenxa yalo, ayikhubekisi kwaye ayikhubekisi. Ngomyeni onjalo, nokuba uthe wasela, akukubi nakwezinye. Apha kukho umbuzo kuphela, ngaba uyamkeleka ukuba umfazi abe nokuziphatha? Ukuba kunjalo, ubomi obunjalo kufuneka buqhubeke.
Ungaziphuli
Nangona kunjalo, loo matyala awanqabile kakhulu kwimeko kunye nomntu onxilisayo. Phantse njalo ngenxa yomyeni othanda ukusela, kwisabelomali seentsapho zihlala zikhethi kwaye kuzo zonke izifo zentsapho zihlupheka. Ukuba umyeni wakho ungumntu olungileyo, uyakuthanda wena nabantwana, kodwa ungenakulibala ukuxhomekeka kwaye usela nje imali, cinga ukuba kungafanelekile ukuphulaphula yonke into ukuze ugcine intsapho. Ingakumbi kwiimeko ezinjalo kubalulekile ukucinga ngoonyana, ukuba zikhona. Qonda okulungileyo, kodwa ubaba oselayo unokuthandwa nakude. Cinga malunga nokuba unako ukunika abantwana bakho ubomi obungcono xa ungenayo le ndoda kufuphi nawe. Ukuba kunjalo, cingisisa ngokuqhawula umtshato. Abantwana bakho bamele bafumane kuphela izinto ezilungileyo kunye nezinto zonke uyise azichithayo ekuphuzeni kufuneka baye kwiingubo zabo, ukutya, ukuphumla. Ngendlela, wena ngokwakho uxhalabelekile. Xa umntu esela, akaqapheli ukuba intsapho yakhe ibandezeleka. Ngoko ke, wena ngokwakho kufuneka ucinge malunga nokuba ufuna ukuqhubeka nokuziphulaphula okanye ixesha lokuba uqale olunye ubomi. Ngendlela, abaninzi abafazi bathatha inxaxheba yecala lokufela ukholo, ngubani omele aphile kwaye ephethe umnqamlezo ngendlela yomntu ophuzayo. Isimo sengqondo esinjalo sisisidenge kwaye asinanto. Awunetyala nantoni na. Umyeni wakho ngumntu okhulile okhethile indlela yakhe. Unabantu abamthandayo kunye noko akufanele anakekele. Ukuba indoda ayikwazi ukwenza oku kwaye iphosakele phambili, akufanele uhlupheke ngenxa yakhe. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abafazi bashada abaqhelekileyo kunye kunye nexesha labo. Ngoko musa ukuzigxeka uze uthethe oko wathembisa. Uthembise ukuba uhlala nomntu oqhelekileyo, onothando nosebenza nzima, lowo umfazi nabantwana babaluleke ngaphezu kweglasi ye-vodka. Ukuba akayi kuqonda oku, ngoko ngokuqinisekileyo akufanele uhlupheke kule nto.
Umntu oselayo aze ahlasele
Iimeko ezibuhlungu kakhulu xa umntu engaphuzanga kuphela, kodwa uphakamisa isandla sakhe malungu akhe entsapho. Kule meko, musa ukucinga nokuba ufuna ukuhlala naye. Amanye amabhinqa azizibetha ngethemba lokuba indoda iya kutshintsha. Oku akuyi kwenzeka. Ukuba umntu uphakamisa isandla kwintombazana kanye, uya kwenza njalo. Ngoko ke, akufanele ubenzakalise i-psyche yakho kwaye ukhulise ubunzima obuphantsi. Ngomntu onjalo kufuneka uqhawule umtshato kwaye ngokukhawuleza kunokwenzeka. Ingakumbi ukuba unabantwana. Umntwana okhulisa ukwesaba, osuvele ususela kwiminyaka yobudala ufumana ama-phobias ahlukeneyo, unokuba ngumntu ongenakwenzeka okanye onokubandezeleka. Ndikholelwe, akuyimfuneko ukuba asindise loo ntsapho, kuba uya kuphula i-psyche yakhe kwaye akukho nto.
Abafazi abaninzi banethemba lokuba umyeni wakhe uyayeka ukusela ngenxa yokuba uthembisa. Kule meko, eqinisweni, izithembiso zizaliseka ngamagatya. Ngoko ke, akumele ulinde kude kube sekupheleni kweenkulungwane kangangokuthi uya kuqonda. Misela imeko: ukuba akayeki ukusela - uhamba. Xa umyeni engakwazi ukuyeka, ukuqokelela izinto aze athi kuye. Ukuba lo mntu unako ukutshintsha ingqondo yakhe, uya kuphucula mhlawumbi ngexesha, unokubuyela kuyo. Kodwa kufuneka wenze oku kuphela xa uqinisekile ukuba utshatywala sele sele ludlulileyo.