Ngaphambi kokuba "ugxothwe", ulinganise ngokuzenzekelayo zonke iingxaki kunye nokuxhamla kokuhlala kunye. Impendulo engafaniyo kumbuzo wakho: "Ngaba kufuneka ube nomntu ngenxa yomntwana?", Awuyi kufumana. Konke kuxhomekeke kwimeko ethile.
Ukuba uqala ukuzibamba ucinga ukuba uya ekhaya ngenxa yokuba umntwana wakho ukhona, ngokokuqala, zibuze wena umbuzo: "Kutheni uhlala nale ndoda?". Ewe, xa ukhe ukhetha kwaye, njengaye, yonke into yayilungile, kwaye, njengawo wonke umntu uhlala njengale. Kwaye kutheni ufanele uhlale njengomntu wonke? Yaye uya kuhlala phi ngokuzonwabisa?
Umbono wabasetyhini abadala kunawe, ukuba "kufuneka ube nomntu ngenxa yomntwana" uye wazama ukuziphendulela. Kwaye, ngoku kubomi bakho kunye nomntwana wakho kuphela! Vumela abanye bacinge ukuba bafuna, kwaye uyakha ubomi bakho! Funda kwezinye iimpazamo zabantu. Oko kukhula kumntwana, ukuba uva ukuba abazali bakhe bafunga njani, kunye naye, indlela ababetyala ngayo, kwaye uThixo akavumelani, balwa? Umntu ukhula, engaqinisekanga yintoni enokudala intsapho enempilo, yolonwabo. Loo mntu uza kuba nokwakha ubuhlobo "njengabo bonke abantu". Kodwa ngaba ufuna umntwana wakho othandekayo?
Ukuba nomntu ngenxa yomntwana kukukhohlisa wena kuphela, kodwa nomntwana wakho. Kufuneka uqonde ukuba umntwana, xa ekhula, uya kwakha intsapho kwaye akhe ubuhlobo kunye nesini esahlukileyo. Yaye ke imodeli yentsapho iya kukopa? Kakade wena! Ukuba umntwana ubona ukunyaniseka phakathi kobudlelwane phakathi kwabazali ukususela ebuntwaneni, ukufunga, kunye neyona nto ixabana kakhulu, ngoko kwinqanaba lakhe lokufakelwa sele sele lihleli ngokuqinile, ukuba yile ndlela abantu abafanele baphile ngayo.
Abantwana, phambi kwabo baqhawule umtshato, balungiselela ubomi bentsapho, besaba ngokuqhawula umtshato. Ibhinqa, ngokuziqhelisa ngokwabo ngenxa yentsapho, inokuhlala kwindawo yokuhlala kunye nendoda, iqhube ngakumbi imeko. Inkqubo yakho yeentloni iya kuthatha into "engalungile", uya kuqala ukuphula phantsi kuphela kumyeni, kodwa nakumntwana. Ukuba wenze isigqibo sokugqibela malunga nokuphula ulwalamano, qalisa ukulungiselela lo mntwana kusengaphambili, mhlawumbi uya kulahlwa yithemba layo. Chaza ukuba nimbini nimthande kwaye niya kumnceda kunye, kuphela uya kuhlala ngokuhlukileyo.
Nangona abazali bengacingi, kodwa bahlala kunye kuphela ngenxa yomntwana, ukubanda kubundlelwane kubonakala. Umntwana akawuboni nje kuphela, kodwa uvakalelwa.
Into engathandekiyo engakwazi ukuhlala kwisigxina sakhe kukuba oko kwenzeka ngenxa yokuzalwa kwakhe. Ngokuqhelekileyo abafazi baxubusha iingxaki zabo zentsapho ebusweni babantwana, bathi ekuqaleni izinto zonke zilungile, kodwa ekufikeni komntwana indoda yatshintsha, engazange ibeke ityala elincinci kumntwana: "Yonke into yayilungile, kodwa ndavela."
Kungenxa yomntwana, ngenxa yophuhliso lwakhe olupheleleyo, ukuhlala ngokwahlukileyo kumntu. Akunandaba nentsapho epheleleyo okanye engaphelelanga umntwana wakho ukhuliswe. Ukuba uyazi ukuba umntu wakho unako ukuphazamisa kakuhle umntwana, into enhle kwaye iluncedo ekufundiseni, ngoko unesibindi wenze isigqibo malunga nezemfundo kwaye ungamelana nokuxhumana kwabo. Kodwa ukuba umntu ubonakaliswe kwicala elingalunganga, zama ukukhusela umntwana wakho kule nxibelelwano. Indoda enjalo iya kuxela umntwana wakho ngombono ongathandekiyo ngawe kunye nezigxeko ukuba uzisola ngayo yonke into. Utywala kunye neziyobisi yiyona nto isenza abantu abangenamandla. Kwimeko enjalo, ukuhlukana kobudlelwane kufana nomgca wokuphila.
Ukususela kwiziphoso kunye neemeko ezingaphumeleliyo, akukho mntu ukhuselweyo. Umntwana wakho uya kukhula kwaye mhlawumbi akayi kuvumela imeko elolo hlobo, ngenxa yokuba uye wakwenza ngobulumko kwaye ngexesha elichazwe kuye ngomzekelo ukuba kubalulekile kwaye kubalulekile kubazali bobabini, nokuba bangabahlali.