Enyanisweni, kungakhathaliseki ukuba sizama kangakanani ukucwangcisa intsapho, ngamanye amaxesha izicwangciso ziyaqhawuka xa kwenzeka ukukhulelwa okutsha. U-Odnizhschiny ngenkuthalo enkulu ukuqonda ezi ndaba, nangona umntwana osengaphambili usemncinci. Kodwa abanye abantu abafuni ukuva nantoni malunga nokuzaliswa kwintsapho, nangona kukho iinkokheli.
Naluphi na ubunzima bokubukeka komntwana kumntwana wokuqala kwintsapho, umntwana wesibini ekungcono kakhulu uya kuba nzima, ukuba ayinzima. Kwaye kukho ubunzima, kubalulekile ukulungiselela kwangaphambili. Ingaba intsapho yakho ikulungele ukuzaliswa okulandelayo?
Ziqonde wena
Ukuvavanya iqondo lakho lokulungelelaniswa kwintsapho yomnye umntwana, uhlole zonke iimfuno zakho kunye neemfuno zakho. Ngaba ufuna ngokwenene umntwana? Ngaba ujoliswe ngcamango yokuba kungekudala uza kuba nelinye ilungu losapho? Okanye mhlawumbi uthathe isigqibo sokuzala ngokukhawuleza xa uyika ukuba iminyaka yakho ayiyi kukuvumela ukuba wenze emva koko? Okanye ufuna ukuba abantwana basondele kwiminyaka kwaye badlale kunye?
Bala amandla akho
Qinisekisa ukuvavanya iindawo zokugcina amandla. Cinga, ngubani onokukunceda nabantwana: umlingane, abazali, udade okanye ezinye izalamane? Ngaba ulungele ukuba ukuba emva kokuvela komnye umntwana, ngokuqinisekileyo awunalo ixesha lokukhulula?
Umbono weqabane
Enye yezona zinto zibaluleke kakhulu eziya kuthintela ngqo kwisigqibo esithathiweyo kukuba ulwalamano lwakho kunye neqabane elithembekileyo kunye nokubona kwakhe kwongezwa kwintsapho. Ingaba umyeni womntwana ufuna? Qiniseka ukuxoxa ngale nto nomyeni wakho ngaphambi kokuba kwenziwe isigqibo sokugqibela.
Khumbula, ukuthetha ngokuthe ngqo kunye neqabane lakho, ukukwazi ukwenza izigqibo kunye kunye nokufumana ukunyaniseka kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ufuna ukuba usapho lwakho lube nobungane kwaye luqine.
Ingaba umntwana uya kunceda ukuba asondele?
Ezinye izibini zikholelwa ngokugqithiseleyo ukuba ukuzalwa komntwana kuya kuqinisa intsapho. Ukuba ufumana ubunzima ebubudlelwaneni, mhlawumbi, usana olunokukutshatyalala zombini luya kuzincipha nje iingxaki, eziza kukhulisa ukwanda kwengxabano phakathi kwabatshatileyo.
Musa ukulibala ngomntwana wakho
Xa umntwana sele sele enomntwana kwintsapho, iimfuno zakhe kufuneka ziqwalaselwe xa zicwangcisa ukukhulelwa okulandelayo, ekubeni ukuvela kwelinye ilungu lentsapho elincinci alikho nje uvuyo, kodwa lixinzelelo. Kucacile ukuba emva kokuvela kweintsana ngeke kusakwazi ukunika umntwana ingqalelo efanayo njengaphambili. Ngoko ke, lungiselela umntwana ukuba avele umzalwana okanye udade, ukuze angazami ukukhwele umntwana okanye azive engadingekile kwaye akazange acinge ukuba abazali bakhe abasamthandi.
Ukuba umntwana wakho akasekho iminyaka emithathu ubudala, lungela ukuba akafuni ukwabelana nabazali bakhe ngomnye umntu, ngoko umona awukwazi ukunqandwa. Ukuncintisana okuncinci kwabazali phakathi kwabantwana abancinci kuyinto eqhelekileyo, ukuze abazali bafanele balungiselele ingxaki.
Imeko yemali
Ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isigqibo malunga nokuqashwa kwintsapho, qiniseka ukuvavanya amathuba akho emali, kuba ukubonakala komntwana kudibene neendleko eziphezulu.
Cinga ukuba kukho indawo eyaneleyo kwindlu yakho. Enyanisweni, ekuqaleni umntwana uya kuchitha ixesha elininzi elenza isikhala sakhe, esingafakwa kwigumbi labazali. Kodwa kufuneka siqonde ukuba kwikamva elikufutshane umntwana kufuneka abe nekamelo lakhe labantwana okanye ubuncinane kwigumbi elikhulu ukuze abantwana bahlale ndawonye.
Ewe, kulindeleke ukuba uchithe kakhulu. Kodwa ungasindisa encinane ngokusebenzisa iingubo kunye neengubo zomntwana ongaphambilini. Ngexesha elifanayo, soloko ucinga ngekamva, kuba abantwana abayi kuhlala besele bancinci, ngoko ukuchitha imali kuya kwanda ngexesha. Ngoko, cinga ngecala lezemali lo mbandela. Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba ukuvela komnye umntwana kuya kubangela ukuba intsapho yakho ibe khona kwimali encinci yemali, ngoko kuyacaca ukuba uhlehlise esi siganeko esibalulekileyo.
Ukuba ulungele
Ukuba uzimisele ukuba ulungele ukuzalisa intsapho, kufuneka uhlaziye imibuzo emibutho. Ukuba unomntwana omncinane, kufuneka ube nomntu onokukunceda ngexesha lokukhulelwa, ekubeni amandla aya kuba ngaphantsi.
Kwiinyanga ezi-7-8 zokukhulelwa, qalisa ukulungiselela umntwana wakho ngokubonakala komzalwana okanye udade. Ngaphambili, ukulungelelanisa okungafanelekanga akufanele kuqalise, kuba abantwana abancinci abathandi ukulinda, kwaye iinyanga ezilisithoba zide kakhulu kumntwana omncinci. Kukho iincwadi ezininzi ezintle eziza kubonisa ukucacisa kwintsana ukuba omnye umntu omncinci uza kubonakala kwintsapho.
Ukubonakala komntwana akuyona kuphela umcimbi obaluleke kakhulu kubazali, kodwa nakwimeko ethile uxinzelelo lomntwana okhula kwintsapho. Xa uthengela izinto ezahlukeneyo kwixesha elizayo, musa ukulibala ukunika izipho ezincinane kumntwana wakho. Njalo ukhumbuze ukuba uyamthanda kwaye akukho mzekelo ukuyeka ukuthanda, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ungaphi na abantwana ongabonakaliyo.
Ukuba uceba ukuthuthela kwigumbi elibanzi, kufuneka ucinge ngale nto ngaphambili. Akunakwenzeka ukuba ufuna ukulungisa nokulungisa ikhaya ekukhulelweni kokukhawuleza okanye ngomntwana ezandleni zakho. Nangona ungatshintshi indawo yokuhlala kuyo, cwangcisa indawo phambi kokuvela komntwana, ukuze emva kokuzalwa kwakhe kube nethuba lokubandakanyeka kuphela kwintsapho, ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka yiengxaki ezingekho phantsi.
Indlela yokucwangcisa ukukhulelwa ngokufanelekileyo kunye kunye neqabane lakho kunye neqabane lakho ngokucophelela ukulinganisela i-pros and cons. Kule meko, ukuzaliswa okulandelayo kuya kuzisa uvuyo kuwo wonke umntu kunye nakwezinye iintlanganiso zentsapho yakho.