Ootata abangabodwa kunye neempawu zabo

Umama ongatshatanga - uveza njengesigwebo samadoda athile. Akuyena wonke umntu olungele ukuvelisa umntwana womnye ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi.

Abasetyhini bahluke kancinci ngoobawo-balambile, kwindawo ethile nangomdla. Nangona kunjalo, ootata abangatshatanga abayindoda eqhelekileyo, kuba baninzi ukuhamba nabo kwaye baxoxe nabo, nabo bahluke kunabo bonke abanye. Ngako-ke, bangabani abangabodwa?
Ukuze uqonde uhlobo lomntu oyedwa, kuyimfuneko ukuqonda izizathu 'zokulondeka' kwakhe. Izizathu zingafani: umtshato, umhlolokazi, ukungafuni ukuhlawula i-alimony njalonjalo.

Nangona kunjalo, kukho izinto eziqhelekileyo ezahlula bonke ootata abangabodwa. Ngokomzekelo, baxanduva kakhulu, kuba banomsebenzi obalulekileyo - ukukhuliswa komntwana. Ngokufanayo, ootata abangabodwa bayagcinwa kwiimvakalelo, banomonde kwaye baqonda ngokunyanisekileyo naziphi na izenzo. Emva kwakho konke, ukunyamekela indoda encinci leyo, xa ixhomekeka ngokupheleleyo kuye, ayiyona mthwalo kubo bonke, kwaye omnye kufuneka aqeqeshwe kakhulu ukuze akhulise ngokwaneleyo umntwana.

Enyanisweni, kunokubonakala ngathi utata oyedwa uyona ndlela ingcono kunomntu ongeke abe namava kulo mba. Kwinqanaba elithile, oku kunjalo, kuba loo papa akayi kuba nayo nayiphi na imibuzo malunga nendlela yokutshintsha i-diaper yomntwana kunye nendlela yokuthatha umntwana ngeempelaveki, eya kuba luncedo xa ufumana abantwana abatshatileyo.

Nangona kunjalo, kukho ezinye iimeko ezibangelwa ngabantwana abangabodwa. Umntwana kuye uya kuhlala ehlala ngaphambili, uya kuhlala eqwalasela iimfuno zomntwana xa esombulula ingxaki ethile, kufuneka uwamkele oku. Uzakufuna kakhulu ukuseka uqhagamshelwano nomntwana wakhe, kodwa ngaba kubi? Xa ubona umntwana usenokufumana omnye umhlobo omhle.

Kukho uluvo lokuba ootata abangabodwa baqala ukuvavanya umfazi "kumama kumntwana wakhe". Oku akunjalo. Indoda ifuna umyeni wakhe kuqala, kodwa, ngokuqinisekileyo, uyicinga ngokuphathelele umama kumntwana. Oomzali abangabodwa bafuna abafazi abanjalo, abathanda, baya kuba nako ukuthanda abantwana babo, baya kuba nako ukunakekela umntwana, baya kubelana nobunzima bokukhulisa umntwana baze babe ngumama wokwenene!

Kakade ke, kukho imeko apho abantwana abakhuliswa ngumntu oyedwa onokumvukela ngokunyanisekileyo baze babonise isimo sengqondo sabo esinenzondo ngazo zonke iindlela. Uya kufuneka ubonise ubulumko nomonde ngaphambi kokuba imeko ibe ngcono. Mhlawumbi bafuna uncedo lwenzululwazi yengqondo. Kodwa ungayeki phambi kwexesha, wenqaba ukujongana noyise oyedwa. Akulungele ukuba akhuphe phakathi kweScylla neCharybdis yomsebenzi wabazali kunye nokunxanelwa kwinto yolonwabo yoluntu.

Kwimeko nayiphi na into, indoda eyedwa, ngaphandle kwenkxaso yowesifazane, ivelisa umntwana ufanelwe inhlonipho enkulu.