Abanye besetyhini bakholelwa ukuba ubungqina obunjalo abunakwenzeka, abanye bayayiphikisa le mabango. Makhe sibone ukuba ngubani na oya kufikelela kwinyaniso.
Impendulo yombuzo othi "Ngaba ubungqina bunokwenzeka phakathi komntu nomfazi?" Wayenomdla kuzo zombini, ngamaxesha onke. Akumangalisi ukuba amaninzi ama-aphorisms azinikele kuye. Ngokomzekelo, uOtto Bismarck wachaza ukuba ubuhlobo obuhle phakathi kwendoda nomfazi bubuthathaka ngokuqala kobusuku. Ndinomhlobo, ngendlela, ndoda ende, i-shoulder-fered, indoda enhle, ephupha ngamadodakazi angama-12. Sichitha ixesha elihle kunye naye: sixoxa ngeento zonke ehlabathini, sitshintshela izinto ezintsha, siya kwi-ice rink kunye ne-cinema, ukuba kuyimfuneko, sinceda omnye nomnye kwimiba ethile yasekhaya. Ndicinga ukuba ubuhlobo phakathi kwethu bunokwenzeka kuphela ngenxa yokuba aluhlobo lwam. Kwaye mhlawumbi andingekho kuye, kuba akazange enze nayiphi na imizamo 'yokuzana kakuhle' (kwaye ndiyathemba ukuba akayi kuyenza).
Umhlobo womntu akanakulungiswa
Uninzi lwabantu luthi akukho buhlobo obuhle phakathi kwendoda nomfazi. Kodwa ekuqalekeni kungabonakala ukuba uhlobo olunjalo lobudlelwane bobuhlobo luhlanganisiwe. Okokuqala, akukho phiswano phakathi kwalabo bahlobo kwaye, ngenxa yoko, umona. Umhlobo wakho akayi kuba nomona ukuba ekugqibeleni ulahlekelwe ngu-5 kg, uye eholidini e-Bali, okanye uthenge izicathulo ezivela kwi-Christian Louboutin kwisaphulelo sama-95%. Ngokuphambene noko, uya kuvuya kwaye ahlaziye ukuba uqinisekile ukuba unomdla.
Okwesibini, njengoko umhlobo wam uthi: "Umhlobo womntu uyinto engenakuphikiswa ekhaya". Ewe, luhlobo luni lomhlobo olwenqabela ukutshintsha umhlobo omhle walo mcimbi okanye ubone ukuba kutheni ukukhanya ekhitshini akutshisi? Yaye ukuba kuyimfuneko, uze uhambe apho ufuna khona, kwaye umfana uya kubonisa. Okwesithathu, umhlobo onjalo akabalulekanga kuphela kwezoqoqosho. Unako ukunika iingcebiso ezifanelekileyo. Kwaye akusebenzi nje kuphela kwimicimbi "yindoda" njengeteknoloji okanye ngemali. Akukho mntu ulungile ekuchazeni ukuziphatha komntu njengowomnye umntu, ngoko umhlobo wakho uya kuhlala ekwazi ukukuchazela ukuba kutheni umthandi wakho "onobuqhetseba," kwaye uchaze indlela yokwenza ngcono ngayo. Ewe, kunye nokukhethwa komgcini we-wardrobe, umhlobo unokunika iingcebiso ezimbalwa.
Indlela eyahlukileyo
Hayi, ndimele ndihlaziye lo busuku ngendiza yentlanzi. Inyani kukuba indlela yokwenza ubuhlobo phakathi kwamadoda nabasetyhini ahlukile. Akumangalisi ukuba bathi: "Indoda inobungane kwithemba lokuqhubeka, kwaye umfazi-eyazi ukuba akuyi kuze kubekho ukuqhubeka." Amadoda amaninzi, ngamazwi abo, kuqala kokubona kwintombazana into yezocansi, kwaye ke kuphela ingqondo, umva, ukuthanda ibhola okanye imoto yezemidlalo. Kwaye akukho nto enokuyenza, imvelo ithatha umthwalo wayo. Ngoku kuthi, bafazi, apha, nayo, yonke into ayilula. Ukuba umhlobo wesilisa akayi kusizingela, ncinane, siya kukhubeka: ngaba ndiyinto engathandekiyo? Kwaye ukuba kunjalo, ngoko, ukuba awuyikuhlangana nabani na, ngokukhawuleza emva koko ubudlelwane buya kudlulela ngaphaya kwemida yobuhlobo. Kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuphuhliswa kweemeko.
Uzozisola ngazo, kwaye ngobudlelwane bukhona ubunzima, unxibelelana ngaphantsi nangaphantsi, de ulwalamano luba lubi.
Omnye wenu uqala ukufuna okungakumbi, okwesibini ulungiselela ulwabelana ngesondo ngendlela enobungane. Umona uqala, ulawulo, ukucaciswa kobudlelwane, ukuxabana. Ngokubanzi, kwaye ubuhlobo buphela, kwaye ubuhlobo abuqalanga.
Uyaqonda ukuba uyadalwa kuphela. Unomdla kunye nemigaqo eqhelekileyo, mhlawumbi ngabahlobo abaqhelekileyo, niyazi kakuhle, kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu - nihlala kunye kunye. Yintoni engeyona isiseko sobudlelwane obusondeleyo?
Ikhuseleko imithetho
Kodwa masibuyele kwizinto eziqhelekileyo eziqhelekileyo: unabangane, kwaye ufuna ukuba kunjalo kwaye bonke bahlala. Ngokuqinisekileyo, awuhambisani neenkomfa ezincinane okanye izipho ezincinci, into eyona nto kukuba ayikunikeli nantoni na. Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukubala kule nto? Iingcali zengqondo ziphendula ngokuqinisekileyo. Kodwa ngomnye umcengezi: phakathi kwakho akufuneki ukuba neentlobano zesini. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba ungeyena unfree kwaye ujabule kunye nabatshatileyo bakho; Unesibini esithile esidlulileyo, xolelana kwaye ungathanda ukuthetha nje ngekamva; Ngaba ungumhlobo ukususela ebuntwaneni waza waba ngumzalwana nodade. Enyanisweni, kusekho ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye nomntu ongeyonto engathintekiyo ngokwesondo, kodwa kuthi kungenangqondo, kwaye sifanele sihloko esahlukileyo.
Nangona kunjalo, nakunoma ikuphi, ukugcina ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye namadoda, kubalulekile ukugcina imiyalelo emininzi "imithetho yokukhusela".
Ukuzimisela kwiimvakalelo zabo kule ndoda. Kwaye ukuba lobu buhlobo kwaye akukho nto ngaphandle kobuhlobo, enye indlela okanye enye, vumela umngani wakho ukuba aqonde oku. Ungabi nabuhlungu malunga noko kwenzeka ntoni phakathi kwakho, kodwa akuzange kwenzeke okanye kwenzeke, kodwa kungekhona njengoko ufuna. Ungabi nomona ngomhlobo kubakhethiweyo bakhe.
Ngoko ukuba akukho ukungaqondani kunye neemeko ezingamangalisa, qalisa umngane wakho okhethiweyo kwaye ngamaxesha onke uwakhulume kwiingxoxo zakho. Kodwa kuphela ngendlela efanelekileyo, nokuba kunjani na, musa ukukhononda ngokuthandayo. Amagama anjalo awanakuqondwa kakuhle: athi, ufuna "induduzo".
Kwaye ekugqibeleni ndifuna ukuthetha oku: akubalulekanga kakhulu apho kwaye udibana njani na, kutheni ubuhlobo bakho bubuhlobo okanye obudibanisa nawe. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba ubuhlobo nomntu abufani kakhulu nobuhlobo nomfazi. Ezi ntsebenziswano kufuneka ziphuhliswe ngendlela efanayo, zondliwa ngoqhagamshelwano oluqhelekileyo, iimfuno eziqhelekileyo, kufuneka zityalwe, zingathathwa kuphela, kodwa zinikezelwe. Kodwa kukho umehluko. Ngobudlelwane nomntu, into eyona nto kukukubona intuitively umgca, apho ukuba ufuna ukugcina umngane onjalo, akufanele uhambe.
Kwenzeka ukuba amantombazana aqale ukugcina ubudlelwane obuhle kunye namadoda ethembekileyo. Njengoko, ndifunda okungakumbi ngaye, uya kundiqonda kangcono kwaye aqonde ukuba kungcono ukuba angamfumani. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ezi zinto zivuyayo ziphela. Kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwimilodramas kunokuba ubomi boqobo. Nantsi yonke into ingagqiba ngokungafaniyo: emva kokuba iintsuku ezimbalwa intombazana yentliziyo yakhe, uya kubuya kwimeko yomhlobo olungileyo kwakhona. Ngoko ukuba unezicwangciso zokuthandana nomhlobo onokuba ngumhlobo, mazise ngaye ngendlela yesetyhini ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukukhangela ibhoksi kwaye umema omnye nomnye ubhiya.