Ukuba abakhethiweyo bakho abaqhelekanga, kodwa besengasiphuza, kodwa malunga okanye kungenjalo, okokuqala bahlawule ingqalelo ngokukhethekileyo kule nto. Zama nje ukuyilawula, yenze kuphela into engabonakaliyo, ngaphandle kwayo nayiphi na i-ultimatums and scandals. Khumbula, abantu abayithandi xa baxelelwa ukuba baphile njani. Kalula, kule meko kuyimfuneko ukufikelela le ngxaki ngokucophelela kwaye ngokucokisekileyo. Okokuqala, kufuneka uqonde ukuba zeziphi izinto zobomi bakhe okanye imeko yenze ukuba akwenze. Kwaye ke, makhe sibuyele kwi-psychology yindoda eyinkimbinkimbi kwaye sifumane: ukuba umntu uyaphuza encinane, izizathu zalo mcimbi?
Njengoko uyayazi, umphefumlo wesintu ungumhlathi omnyama, kwaye kuthi thina bafazi, akusoloko kunokwenzeka ukuqonda ukuba kutheni benzayo okanye ezo zinto. Kodwa, njengoko uyazi, zonke izenzo zinezizathu ezikhethekileyo ezifanelekileyo. Ingaba yinto yangaphakathi kwaye ihamba nayo kwimpilo yemihla ngemihla. Indoda ayinako ukwaneliswa ngumsebenzi wakhe, isikhundla sakhe, isikhundla sakhe. Yazi, amadoda anzima kunzima ukunyamezela ubomi babo kunye nokuphazamiseka kule ndawo okanye kuloo ndawo yobomi okanye ubudlelwane. Ngenxa yoko, endaweni yokuvula kuwe kwaye uthethe, bayishiya i-tet-a-tet ngotywala kunye neengxaki zabo. Uyakhathala ngomsebenzi ofanayo, kokubili ngokokuziphatha nangokwenyama okanye nje akakwazi ukuphumla, kunye neglasi yebhiya, mncedise kule nto. Kananjalo, ngokuqhelekileyo, abantu badla utywala, kungenxa yethu, bafazi. Ngokomzekelo, ukuba uziva ebuthathaka kunani, ngoko ke, ngokusela utywala, uyaziqonda ngokuzimeleyo njengomntu. Emva koko, utywala uhlala unika isibindi nesibindi. Kwakhona, utywala, unikezela isibindi kubafazi kuphela, kodwa nakwiindawo ezibizwa ngokuba ngama-half halves. Emva kokuba ndithathile, ndiza kubuqhumisa amaconsi amancinci, ngokuthe ngqo kubungqina, umfana unokuxelela intombazana ukuba akayithandi nto noko angathanda ukukulindela kuye kwixesha elizayo. Omnye umgqugquzeli obalulekileyo kukuba umntu akanako ukwaneliswa ubomi bakhe bentsapho. Ukutshutshiswa rhoqo kunye neentlonelo, ukuhlambalaza nokungazinzi, ngokukhawuleza okanye ngokukhawuleza kumnqamle ngaphandle kwendlela yokuhlala ehlazileyo kunye nokulinganisa ubomi. Nanku, ityala elona libala kakhulu, livela kumfazi, yena, ngenxa yokunyanzeliswa kwakhe kumyeni wakhe okanye intombi yakhe, uyamkhuthaza, ngokunyanzelisa ukuziphatha kwakhe, ukucima konke kwiglasi ye "iyeza" elinamandla. Ngendlela, ziingxaki ebomini bakhe obubomi obubaluleke kakhulu isizathu sokubambisana nomntu ukuba uqala ukusela. Apha siyakhusela ngokukhuselekileyo kwaye siquka inkalo yesondo. Xa, yena, engaqiniseki ngamandla akhe angamadoda okanye uyaqiniseka ukuba isondo ngaphandle kweibhotile ze-bhotile ngaphambili ngaphambili akukho konke okufunayo. Napha, kwakhona, ngokucacileyo, kungaba isizathu sokuba ngoncedo lotywala, umfana ulwa neentloni okanye ezinye zeengxowa zakhe zangaphakathi. Oku akusebenzi nje kuphela kubomi obusondeleyo. Emva kwamaconsi ambalwa okusela utywala, ufundisa zonke iinkathazo, uhlala enentlalontle, ekhululekile ngakumbi kwaye enomdla. Khumbula iingxaki zabantu - le ngxaki yabo yamadoda, kwaye isondo esinamandla lizama ukulwa nayo yonke indlela. Sekunjalo, akukhatywanga, inyaniso engenakuphikiswa ukuba ukhethiweyo wakho unomsebenzi onkqenkqonkqo ngemihla, iingxaki zansuku zonke njalo njalo okanye uvakalelwa yedwa. Kwaye xa ehamba kwibhardi kusihlwa, yena, ngokumane, ngendlela ehamba, uhamba kude nantoni na into ayithethileyo. Isiphetho kule nto mhlawumbi asinayo nayiphi na into yokuzilibazisa kunye nemisebenzi, apho, ngokuthe ngqo, unokunyamekela oku kwaye aziphazamise.
Ungakulibali ukuba ngale ndlela, indoda ingakwazi ukulwa nemikhumbuzo yakhe engathandekiyo kunye nentukuthelo yobomi, uxinzelelo kunye namazwe ahlukeneyo angamazwe angaphakathi. Okanye isizathu esona sizathu salo nendawo yendalo, oogxa kunye nabahlobo. Ngokuphathelele abahlobo, yinkampani yabahlobo-le yindawo apho ukwenqaba ukusela kotywala yinto engalunganga kunoma ubani, mhlawumbi ayikho indoda yokusela okanye inkwenkwe. Kodwa ke, ukuba ukhangele le ngxaki ukusuka kwindawo yokujonga ngayo iyeza, ngoko kukufanelekile ukujika kumntu ohamba naye - emva koko, ukuthanda kwayo iglasi epheleleyo kungabi yinto engafanelekanga kodwa izakhi zofuzo ezimbi.
Kwaye ukuqokelela umgca ophezulu phantsi kwazo zonke ezi ngasentla, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele: kutheni uqhubela phambili kwingcamango yokuba umntu okhethiweyo usela kancinci. Akangenanga ngeveki, okanye kwimiba yenyanga, ayinxiliswa imihla ngemihla kuninzi, oko kukuthi, ngefiva emhlophe. Ukuba umntu usela kancinci - izizathu zezi zinto zingenakunobungozi, ngoko ungagqibi ukufikelela kwizigqibo kwaye ungamfaki uphawu lomnxila. Ukumbiza ngokuba ngumnxila bekuya kubakho ukuthetha okungalunganga. Ewe, ukuba ungumxhasi opheleleyo wendlela yokuphila enobulunga kwaye ungasebenzisi iziphuzo ezinokubakho ubuncinane ipesenti ezithile zotywala, ngoko uthetha nje ngentliziyo yakho. Into ephambili yenzayo ngaphandle kohlwaywa kunye nokuhlambalaza. Chaza ngokucacileyo ukuba akufanelekanga, kwaye ufuna ukuba ayeke ukusela. Ukuba umntu uyakuthanda kwaye uyakuxabisa, uya kuphulaphula umbono wakho.