Ukubandakanywa kwabantwana abadala ekuzimeleyo kwabazali

Xa sasisemncinci, sasiphupha ukuba "ookhokho" babeya kukhwela kwimicimbi yethu. Kwaye ngoku sakhulile kwaye sisiphazamisa ebomini babazali bethu. Kutheni satshintsha iindima? Yaye njani ukuyeka ukuxhomekeka kwengqondo kubazali bakho ukuba uqale ukuphila ubomi bakho, kwaye uvumele abazali bakho bahlale bodwa? Kancinci kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo
Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuphazamiseka kwimfihlo yabazali kubonakaliswe ukuba sinqabile ukushiya ikhaya lethu. Ngaphandle kwenkqubela enjalo inokuthi ichazwe ngokunyaniseka komntwana okhulile.

Ngamanye amaxesha, abazali bathetha ngokuthe ngqo: "Usukhulile," kodwa usasaza ngokusesikweni esinye isinyameko, ngokuchasene ngqo neyokuqala: "Musa ukukhula." Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuphikisana okunjalo kubonakala kwiintsapho apho imodeli yokuphuhliswa ngokuchaseneyo ihlala iguqukile, oko kukuthi, ayivumeli abantwana ukuba bakhule, bahluke ngokwengqondo nangokwenyama kubazali babo. Ngokomzekelo, kungekudala, ngexesha lolawulo lweSoviet, kwakufanelekile: emva koko, kuphela, ukuma ehlombe kunye nexeni, kulula ukuhlala kunye nokujamelana nokuxhalabisa. Namhlanje ihlabathi litshintshile, kunamathuba amaninzi ukuba abantwana baphile ngokwahlukileyo, kodwa iinkqubo zengqondo zitshintsha kakhulu. Yingakho abaninzi baqhubeka bephumla kwiingqondo zabazali babo, kwaye abazali - bevela kwiinjongo ezilungileyo, bephikisana nabo, bagcine abantwana besondelene nabo.

Ukuba usasafuna ukushiya abazali bakho, kubalulekile ukubona le miqondiso kumama nobaba. Ukwenza oku, kunele ukuthobela iimvakalelo zakho. Njengomthetho, bangela ukungqubuzana kwangaphakathi: siyavuma ngokuvisisana nabazali, sicinga-ewe, yonke into iyinyaniso, kodwa emphefumlweni kukhona ukudideka, ukungathandabuzeki kunye nokuxhalabisa. Emva kokuqonda into eyenzekayo, unokunyamekela, ngokuthe ngcembe uvelise abazali ngomfanekiso omtsha. Ukubonga yonke into abayenzayo baze bachaze ukuba bakulungele ukwenza ngokuzimela. Kwaye ukuba abazali bakholwe la mazwi, kuyinqweneleka ukuyibuyisela kwizenzo, ukunyamekela imiphumo. Ngokomzekelo, ukubanika isicwangciso, ngokuya kuthi uza kuzifumana phi ebomini, ukubala inani lexesha eliya kungena kulo, kwaye ubonise iphuzu lesiphumo. Oku akuyi kwenzeka ngokukhawuleza, ngokukodwa phakathi kwabo abazali abaye bawasebenzisa ngokukhawuleza. Abantwana abanjalo, nangabantu abadala, bayesaba ukwenza ngokuzimela ngenxa yokwesaba okukhulu ukungaphumeleli. Emva koko, abanamava okufumana ukungaphumeleli "ngomnye", ngoko baqhubeka bebandakanya abazali kubomi babo abadala. Kodwa iimpumelelo zokuqala ezizimeleyo ziya kunceda uzive njani ukuba ungumntu omdala. Kwaye oku akuyikushiya ithuba lokucela iingcebiso kwiimeko ezinzima.

Kubalulekile ukujonga izinto ezintle kwilizwe labantu abadala, ukuvuya kuzo zonke iintshaba.

Uthando-uthenge
Ukungenelela ngokusesikweni kubucala babazali, akudingekile ukwabelana nabo indawo eyodwa yokuhlala. Unokwenza oku kusuka kwenye indawo, kwisixeko okanye nakwilizwe.

Umzekelo ovela ebomini
Intombi eneminyaka engama-30 ubudala ekhulile iye yahlala endlwini yakhe ixesha elide, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha ucinga ukuba yena nonina batshintshile indima: intombi ithe yathengela indlu yakhe, ikhwele nayo iindleko zayo, kwaye intombi yakhe iyaxhalabisa ukuba unina akaphulaphuli umbono wakhe. Ngokomzekelo, malunga nendoda yakhe yomntu, obonakala intombi yakhe ingathembekanga ngokupheleleyo kwaye engafanelekanga kumama womntu.

Imeko efanayo ingavela ukuba unina wayengawunakucaluli intombi yakhe njengomntwana. Umntwana onjalo unokubonakala elahliwe ngenxa yokuziphatha okubi. Kwaye kunokwenzeka ukuba bonke ubomi bakhe buya kukhula ibe yintlawulelo yokufuna uthando nokuvunywa. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala ngathi unokufumana iimvakalelo ezifunayo ngoncedo lombane onamandla ongenakufumaneka kubuntwaneni bakho - imali. Nangona kunjalo, kwiimeko ezininzi unina uya kukhanyela ngokucacileyo le ndawo: "Amaqanda awafundiswa ngukukhupha, nokuba ngaba banamabanga aphezulu aphezulu kunye neFD." Kubonakala ukuba ukungakwazi ukunika uthando nokwamkelwa ngenye yeempawu zomzali. Kwaye inzame yokuthenga uthando yikhokelela ekupheleni kokufa. Unokulila ixesha elide malunga noko ungenakukufumana, kodwa uyavuma ukuba imeko ayikwazi ukutshintshwa. Oku kubuhlungu kakhulu, kodwa ukususela kulo mzuzwana ukuba ubuhlobo bokwenene kunye noMama buyaqala. Emva koko, umntu omdala unako ukuzixhasa, abe inkxaso, kwaye ukufuna oku okuvela kumama kungumqondiso wokungabi nantlungu, ukungakhulelwa kwangaphakathi.

Ukufezekisa ukukhula kwangaphakathi, kubalulekile ukuba ufunde ukuba kunye nonyoko ngokulinganayo: ukubuza, ukuba ungafune. Fumana, ungalindeli. Buza ukuba ufuna ngokwenene into oyenzayo. Ekugqibeleni, ukuyijonga njengoko kunjalo, kwaye kungekhona njengoko sifuna ukukubona. Enyanisweni, akukwazi ukwenza lula, kwaye umgqirha uya kufuna uncedo. Emva kwakho konke, ukuba unyoko ongenakukunika oko ufunayo, kwaye de uze ufumane ukuxhasa kunye nokwamkela, unokufumana olunye ulwalamano apho oku kuya kwenzeka.

Umhlobo wenene
Kuya kwenzeka, kunye nomama nobawo bahlobo olufudumeleyo, ukuba kuhle ukushiya wonke umntu kwaye ungafuni.

Umzekelo ovela ebomini
Abazali bangabantu abakhethekileyo bentombi yabo eneminyaka engama-26 ubudala. Abahlobo bakhe, abacebisi, kuphela onokuzithemba. Ngoko kwakusukela kubuntwaneni. Uba lusizi kakhulu xa engaboni kuzo iintsuku ezingaphezu kweentsuku, kuba akukho mhlobo onalo intombi ...

Nangona kunjalo, le meko ayinakubizwa ngokuba yinto engekho. Ewe, kulungile xa ubuhlobo obusondeleyo phakathi kwabantwana abadala nabazali. Kodwa kuyingozi kakhulu xa unina kunye noyise osekhulile kuphela inkxaso enjalo kumntwana okhulile. Emva koko, uphuhliso lwendalo lukholelwa ukuba unyaka wonke isangqa sobudlelwane kunye noonxibelelwano luba ngakumbi, ihlabathi lezentlalo landa. Kungenzeka ukuba imbono yabazali "Unokuhlala undithemba" uye wabuya waba ngumyalelo wokuvalwa "Musa ukuthemba umntu." Ngokuqhelekileyo ngethuba elithile abazali abahlali bexhamla kwizinga elithile lokunganyaniseki kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo, kodwa kunzima kubo ukuba banamathele kwisantya "somntu osondeleyo" komnye umntu.

Xa abazali banikezelwa yimeko yomntu oyedwa osondeleyo, abanye abantu abanalo ithuba lokuba bahlale besondele. Emva koko, xa kuthelekiswa nezihlobo, abanye balahlekelwa. Kuyinto engokwemvelo ukuba kuya kuba nzima ukuthatha lamanyathelo. Emva koko, umbuzo awuyi kuwandisa isangqa soqhagamshelwano, kodwa ufunde ukuthembela abantu abatsha. Kwaye unokwenza oko kuphela ekusebenzeni, ngamava.

Kule nto, ukuqonda kuya kunceda: Umhlobo wam uphonsa ikati kwisitalato, ngaba ndingamthemba umntu onjalo? Yaye xa exelela abanye iimfihlakalo zam, ngaba ndinako? Emva koko, ukuthembela kuxhomekeke kwiimpawu zethu zobuqu, ngoko kubalulekile ukuba siqale ukuyiqonda.

Ewe, ubomi buya kuba nzima ngakumbi kunamaphepha. Kodwa ngokwenene, unako ukuhlala phantsi uxoxe nomntu othandekayo malunga noko kukukhathazayo. Okanye yenza umzamo oya kunceda abazali bethu baphile ubomi babo, kwaye nathi sizenzele.