Nangona le ngxaki ixoxwa rhoqo ngabafundisi, iingqondo zeengqondo kunye neentlalo-zentlalo, akukho sicombululo esisisigxina esifanelekileyo kwiintsapho ezithile. Nangona kunjalo, ukusuka emlonyeni wabantu abajongene nokukhuliswa komntwana ngaphandle kobawo, udla ukuva ezimbini ezichasene ngokupheleleyo.
Ukunyanzeliswa kukuqala - "Abantwana badinga ubaba, kuba ngaphandle kwakhe baya kukhula phantsi"
Ngokubanzi, kunengqiqo ekhoyo, nangona kunjalo, ucinga ngamacala athile xa umntwana ehlala kunye naye, kodwa ngokwenene ubawo ohlukeneyo, uyaxatyiswa ngumlinganiselo wemiphumo yokulandela loo mgaqo. Ezinye iintsapho zifana, kunoko, indlu yokuhlala kunye nabamelwane abangenakhathazeka, ngeli xesha bekhuthaza ukuqhawula umtshato kunye nesidingo sokuhlala ndawonye ngenxa yabantwana. Ukujonga umfanekiso ololo hlobo, uyazibuza ukuba umntwana ufuna uyise ongenamthandayo unina okanye yena ngokwakhe. Ubayini umzali womzali, ekungakhathaliseki ukuba akanandaba neenkxalabo kunye neengxaki zomntwana nonina, kwaye ngokumthuka okanye ukuphakamisa isandla sakhe kwengcamango yomntwana? Ukusuka kwinkampani "ubaba" onjalo, abantwana ngokwabo baqala ukuqala, kwaye unina, elandela umgaqo "umntwana niggard", uyazigweba ebukhosini obude kunye nobunzima kunye nomlingane onenzondo. Ши C C C Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor C Chor C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C Ши Cши Chor C Cши Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor Chor C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C U C
Olunye ulolu hlobo lwesigwebo esifanayo yimeko xa umfazi, ephelelwe ngumonde kwaye esombulula umtshato, ngokukhawuleza utshata nomntu wokuqala ukuba adibana naye, ngaphandle kokucinga ukuba utata omtsha unokuba ngumbi ngaphezu komyeni wakhe wangaphambili. Akufanele ukhawuleze, nokuba ucinga ngabantwana, khetha kuqala ngowakho umyeni wakho ngokwakho, kuba, ukuthanda wena nabantwana bakho, uya kuba nguyise omhle kubo.
Ukunyanzeliswa kwesibini - "Umama unako ukutshintsha umntwana womntwana"
Ongunaphakade, ukudala ubundlobongela phakathi kwezesondo kwakhokelela ekuveleni kweembono zesifazane kuluntu, kwaye i-postulate ephakamileyo ngasentla ingenelwa ngabasetyhini ababelana nabo. Nangona kunjalo, umnqweno onjalo wokubonisa ukuzimela kunye nokushiya igama lokugqibela ngokwabo kwimpikiswano malunga nokukhuliswa kwabantwana, igalela ibhinqa ekuthunjweni kwamaphutha ambalwa.
Okokuqala . Umntwana, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ngumntu wesini, ukhula kwiimeko ezintle, xa abazali bakhe bephakamisa ukukhuliswa kwakhe. Impikiswano yokuba inkwenkwe imele ibe yinto, kwaye intombazana inokuyenza ngaphandle, ayikwazi ukumelana nokugxeka. Ши C Cшишиши C C C C C C C C C C H C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C H C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C Amadoda aya kuba yinto engaqondakaliyo kwaye enokwesabisayo kuye, oku kungakhokelela ekusebenziseni ngokwaneleyo kwizenzo zabo.
I-Ши Cшиши I-Cшиши ngeC C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C Ши C Cши Chor Cшиши Crock Chort C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C H C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C H C C H C H Ukuba ibhinqa elifundisa kuphela abantu ukudelelwa kunye nentukuthelo, ngokuqinisekileyo oku kuya kuthintela ulwalamano lomntwana okhulile kubantu abesini esahlukileyo: intombazana izakukhuphela nje le nzondo ebantwini, kwaye le nkwenkwe iya kuphucula amagama omama ebomini kwaye iziphatha Cши Cшиши Cшиши Chor Chor C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C C
Okwesithathu . Uninzi lweengxaki ezivela xa ukhulela umntwana ngumama ongatshatanga ziza phezulu emva kokuba zifikelele kwinani labaninzi. Ukukhula ngaphandle kobawo, ekuqaleni abaziboni njengamalungu entsapho epheleleyo. Imiphumo yenkqubo enengqondo yabantwana abakhulileyo ingaba nzima kakhulu. Le nsizwa, eyathi yanyamekela yaba ngumntwana womntwana, iya kukhanyela ngokukhawuleza intombazana ekhulelwe, kuba umama ebuntwaneni wayemkhumbuza ukuba utata ngemfundo ayifuni ngokwenene. Ngokufanayo, intombazana enethemba lokuba inokuthi ithathe indawo yomntwana kayise, iyakwamukelwa kwimfundo ekuziphatheni.
Kungekudala, abaninzi abaninzi abasetyhini abaneminyaka engama-30 ukuya ku-35 ubudala, banqwenela ukufumana indoda, banqume ukukhulelwa kumnikeli ongaziwa kwaye babele umntwana engenawo uyise. Kulo nyathelo, abafazi bahlala bexhaswa yingxaki yabo engqondweni engaphendulwanga, abayithemba ukuyixazulula ngentlawulo yomntwana.
Okokuqala, abafana banqwenela ukulahla isihlamba esicacileyo sabo bajikelezayo: iminyaka ihamba, kwaye abantwana baya kuvuka. Emva kokuba bathethe isigqibo sokusasazwa kwezinto, bakholelwa ukuba uluntu luya kulahla inhlonipho ngenhlonipho, ngelixa libala ngokupheleleyo iminqweno yengane ezayo.
Okwesibini, ukungabikho komntu oqhelekileyo okanye iqabane elingunaphakade kulo nyaka kubonisa ukuba abafazi abanjalo abazi nje ukuba bangazi njani amadoda, okanye, oko kubaluleke ngakumbi, ixesha elide ukugcina ubudlelwane nabo. Ukungakwazi ukuqonda umgangatho ochaseneyo kubangele ukuba abafazi baxolisa bonke abaviwa abanokufumana umtshato, kwaye ngenxa yoko bakholelwa ukuba indlela yokuphuma isemntwaneni okhulelwe ngokufanelekileyo. Ngoko ke, endaweni yokugubungela umntwana ngeengxaki zakhe, kungcono ukuphendukela kwengqondo ye-psychoanalyst kwaye emva koko uyatshata.
Okwesithathu, umsebenzi okhusweyo uhlala ungqubuzana nobomi bomntu obomi obuyimpumelelo, ngokukodwa ukuba umxholo obalulekileyo wesimo sakhe ngumnqweno wokuyalela nokulawula. Ukuchaswa naziphi na izichaso kunye nezimvo ezichasene nomntu kungabalulekanga kummandla wezoshishino, nangona kunjalo, ubuhlobo bomntu obunqabileyo buya kubandezeleka. Ekubeni kungekho mntu oya kuwuyalela indlu, loo mfazi wenza isigqibo sokuba abe nomntwana ngale njongo ukuze afundiswe ngokungqongqo kwaye ngokuhambelana neminqophiso yakhe, kwaye enye yeendlela ezikhawulezileyo nezona zihamba phambili, ukuxhaswa komnqweno wakhe wokuzimela, kukuhambela amabhanki.
Oko inyaniso eyenzayo kunzima ukuyiqonda, nangona kunjalo, imithetho emiselweyo iyakwazi ukuchongwa.
Okokuqala, ukuba ubaba unako ukulimaza umntwana okanye ukulimala komntwana, oko akunakulungele ukungabambeleli.
Okwesibini, ukhetho lomviwa wokuqala kumntwana wesibini akuyona nto ingcono kumntwana.
Okwesithathu, kungcono ukulinda umtshato ovuyayo kwiminyaka engama-40 waza wazala indoda kunokukhawuleza ukulungisa iingxaki zakho ngendleko yomntwana.
Okwesine, kubalulekile ukuba ufunde ukuqonda isondo esiqinileyo, ukwenzela ukuba ungabi nciphisa ulonwabo lweentsapho ezizaliswe ngokupheleleyo, kungekuyo yena, okanye abantwana abazayo.
Ezi ngcebiso zilungile, kodwa ukuba umntwana wakho sele engenazo uyise, okokuqala, ungagxininisi kuye yonke ingqalelo. Zama ukuqhubeka nokuthatha isikhundla esisebenzayo kuluntu, jabule, ngaphandle kokunciphisa izandla zakho, ukudala ulonwabo. Kubantwana, umzekelo omhle uya kuba ngabazali abonwabileyo, kunokuba babethukuthele kwihlabathi elimhlophe lonke, kwaye xa ufumana umntu oya kuhlalisa kunye naye, ngubani oza kuba ngumlingane wakho wamasasa, umntwana uya kummkela nje njengoyise aze athole ukukhuliswa kakuhle kwintsapho epheleleyo.