Impembelelo yokuqala ikhohlisa
Kwenzeka ukuba siyamazi umntu kwaye uya kuyithanda ekuqaleni. Kakade emva kweeyure ezimbalwa zonxibelelwano sikulungele ukumelana nentaba kwaye sikhusele imbeko yakhe. Kodwa ixesha lidlula kwaye kuvela ukuba umhlobo wethu omtsha ongeyena mhle. Ngokomzekelo, ukuthetha kwakhe kunye noluntu, ngokwenene, ukuthanda inhlebo kunye nokukwazi ukuthula, nangona kunyanzelekile. Kwaye ukuzithiba nokuzola kukubonakalisa ukwahlukana, ukukhanya kwangaphakathi kunye nokwahlukana. Ngenxa yoko, umhlobo omtsha uyeka ukukhawuleza, kwaye asikwazi ukuqonda indlela oku kungalunganga ngayo umntu. Ukuze ukuba iziganeko ezinjalo zingenzeki, kufuneka uhlale ucingisise malunga nemeko, kunye nabantu abakhona. Ngako oko, phambi kokuba ubhale phantsi umntu ojikelezayo lwabahlobo kwaye uqwalasela iimpawu zakhe njengento efanelekileyo, kufuneka uzinike ixesha lokujonga umhlobo omtsha okanye owaziwayo. Nangona utyalwa ngokugqithiseleyo ukuba ufunge umntu onobomi obungunaphakade, okanye nokuba nothando, kufuneka ufundise kwaye ungaqhubi "ukuqhuba amahashe." Khumbula ukuba kuxhomekeke kwimeko, abantu baziphatha ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Ngokukodwa ukuba baqhelana nomntu omtsha okanye uqokelelane. Kungangoko kunokwenzeka ukuba lo mntu "ugqoke i-mask" kwaye ujonge abadlali, kwaye ukuziphatha kwakhe ngumdlalo oqhelekileyo. Ngoko ke, nangona uthanda umntu, khawuleza ukhumbuze ukuba kufuneka kubekho ixesha ngaphambi kokuba ufumane izigqibo.
Bonke abantu benza iimpazamo
Ngokuqhelekileyo sithandwa ukuthanda abantu abathandekayo bethu, abaye benza izenzo ezintle kuthi nakwabanye abantu abangaphezu kwesinye. Kancinci siqala ukubona kuzo iingelosi zangempela ezingenako kwaye azifanele zenze into engafaniyo kuyo. Kwaye xa oko kwenzeka, ihlabathi libonakala linyuka, ngenxa yokuba umntu wethu oqaqambileyo waba phantsi komhlaba ngokupheleleyo, eneempazamo zayo. Ukuba oko kwenzeka, akukho mzekelo akumele utyhole umntu oziphatha ngayo. Enyanisweni, akukho nto iyingozi kwizinto ezenzekile. Ukuba awuzange uzilungele, oko akunakwenzeka. Ukuze ungadangali, khumbula ukuba kuwo wonke umntu ophilileyo kukho ukungaphumeleli. Ngokomzekelo, umzalwana wakho omthandayo ongenakunxila, uzihlambulule kunye nabafazi kwaye ukhokelwa ngothando kuphela. Kwaye ngokukhawuleza udakwa, uqala ukunyelisa intombazana leyo, ngokucacileyo awuyi kubiza iMadonna kwaye ayiyi kuguqula nantoni na isicelo sakho sokuyeka. Kwaye umi, ukhangele konke kwaye kubonakala kuwe ukuba ihlabathi liye lawa, kuba loo mntu wayenayo yonke into, njengoko wawubonile. Kodwa eneneni, akukho nto yenzekile. Mhlawumbi indoda yaqhekeka kwaye ayikwazanga ukuma, yafuna ukuhlala eyahlukileyo, kuba kuthi ngamnye kuthi uhlala kwicala elingagqibekanga, apho, ngaphantsi kweemeko ezithile, ifuna ukubonakala. Ngoko ke, esikhundleni sokuba uhlasele, ufanele ukhumbule ukuba lo mntu unelungelo elipheleleyo lokungaphenduli ngokwaneleyo ukunyanzelisa, ukunyamezela ubomi kunye njalo njalo. Yaye le mpazamo ayikho uphawu lokuba ayibi. Oku kuyimpawu yokuba uyaphila, engaphelelanga. Kwaye, ngokujonga indlela awaziphatha ngayo, kufuneka uzikhumbule. Emva kwakho konke, kwakuqhelekile ukuba waziqhekeza waza wenza into engeyiyo ingxaki, kwaye wazisola. Ukuziphatha okuqhelekileyo ukuba akunjalo umkhuba. Kwaye xa uthe wangena, endaweni yokumangalela umntu ukuba utshabalalise iimpazamo zakho, kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba uyamthanda kungakhathaliseki ukuba uziphatha njani kwaye ufuna ukumnceda ukuba aphume emgodini wobomi. Ngako oko, ukujonga abazalwana bakho, qho khumbula ukuba abayizintlu zechungechunge lokuqala, apho zonke izinto ezilungileyo zilungile, kwaye ezimbi zimbi kwaye zikhohlakeleyo. Bangabantu abaqhelekileyo, kunye neengqondo zabo kunye neengqondo, ezingenakuhlala ziziphatha kakuhle kwaye zinexesha elifanelekileyo ukuphuka kwiimimiselo zazo ukuze zindezele uxinzelelo okanye zenzele ukuba zithintele kuzo zonke izinto eziqhelekileyo.
Musa ukucinga ngeempendulo
Ukuzenza njengomntu umfanekiso womntu ofanelekileyo, siqala engqondweni ukuba "sibhale" iziganeko ezipheleleyo zokuziphatha kwakhe. Kungokuthi umntu wethu ngesizathu esithile akafuni ukuziphatha njengoko sifuna. Uthetha ezinye iibinzana, wenza izinto esingenayo kwimeko yethu, kwaye akusiyo yonke into esacinga ngayo. Kule meko, ingxaki yonke kukuba abafazi bahlala bephethe iimpawu ezingenayo. Ukuthatha njengesenzo esisodwa esisodwa okanye iimpawu zomntu, amantombazana aphuma nomfanekiso opheleleyo, aze aqale ukukholelwa ukuba umntu uya kufuneka kwaye uya kuziphatha ngendlela efanayo. Xa engenayo, i-ideal breaks up and a moment of disappointment. Ukuze ungakhange ukhale phezu kweziqephu zamaphupha akho, qwa lasela ngeempawu iimpawu kunye nezenzo zabantu abakujikelezile. Ngamanye amaxesha into esinokuyicinga ngayo impawu ebalulekileyo yomntu yintsikelelo yomntu okanye umdlalo omhle kuluntu. Ngako oko, ngaphambi kokuba siqale ukudala engqondweni zethu izinto ezahlukahlukeneyo zendlela yokuziphatha kwethu, kufuneka siyiqwalasele ngokuthe ngenye iimeko, ukuze siqonde ukuba zininzi izenzo kunye neempawu zobuntu ezihambelanayo nezo siza nazo. Akukho mfuneko yokubonisa umgangatho ukuba abaqinisekanga. Kuphela xa sibona ukuphindaphinda ngokukwenziwa kwemiba ethile kunye nokubunjwa kwefomu, umntu unokuthi, kwaye, kungekhona ngokuqinisekileyo ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba umntu unomgangatho esifuna ukuwujonga kuwo. Ngaphandle koko, kufuneka uvume ukuba loo nto kunye neyona nto ifanelekileyo iimeko ezimbini ezahlukeneyo ongazifanele udibene nazo.
Mamela abanye
Apha asikho ukuthetha ngamahemuhemu malunga namahlebezi, kodwa ngokumamela nje iimvo zabanye nokukhumbuza. Ukuba abantu abazange bakuxelele ukuba umntu onokubala njengento efanelekileyo, ngoko kufuneka uphulaphule uluvo lwabo kwaye ujonge ngakumbi. Abaninzi baqala ukubheka ngabomntu abantu abangenakwenzeka kubantu abaye bakuva, nto leyo eyona mpazamo enkulu. Kubalulekile ukugcina nokuvavanya zonke iimeko ngaphandle kokunikezela kwimpembelelo. Emva koko unokubona iimpawu zangempela, kwaye ungadalwa ziimpawu zakho ezifanelekileyo.
Kukho nawuphi na, ukujonga abanye abantu, khumbula ukuba ungubani umntu onjalo. Ngaphandle kweqela leempawu ezilungileyo, uyazi malunga nokusilela kwakho. Yaye loo mpazamo ichazwe ngokucacileyo ngumntu ophilayo. Ngoko ke, abantu abalungileyo abakho, kukho ukulula, apho iimpazamo zazo zilula ukunyamezela.