Kwaye soloko siqala ukuzihlambalaza. Kubonakala ngathi silungele ukwenza imfesane, kodwa sinamathela kwimida yethu. Ukuzama ukucima umvakalelo obuhlungu, umntu unqwenela ukuhamba kwaye engazi ngokukhetha icebo lokuhamba ("akakwazi" ukufikelela, "akanalo ixesha" lokufika esibhedlele kwiiyure zeofisi). Abanye "bajonge ukuxhamla", bayeke bonke amandla abo engokwengqondo nangokwengqondo kwaye bahlala bekela ubomi babo bentsapho, beyithintela ilungelo lokonwaba. Yintoni enokuyenza ukuba umntu ugula, kwaye ngakumbi ukuba lo mntu ungumphefumlo osondeleyo kuwe.
Inkqubo yecala
Ukuba uthathe indawo efanelekileyo ecaleni kwesigulane, udinga ixesha - lingafaneli liphume ngokukhawuleza. Indlela yokuqala yokusabela iyothuswa kwaye iyancipha. Into ebaluleke kakhulu kwiintsapho kukuba uqaphele ukuba umthandayo uyagula. Kwaye awukwazi ukulindela utshintsho olungcono. Phantse kwangoko, ingqiqo engenangqiqo ivela: "andinakukuthintela," "andizange ndifune ukutyelela ugqirha," "ndandingenakuqonda." Vala abantu bazive benetyala: zombini kwiingxabano ezidlulileyo, nokuba babe neempilweni, ukuba abanako ukuhlala bejikeleze, ukuba banokwenza into eqhubekayo ebomini ... "Ngaphezu koko, kunzima ukuqonda indlela yokuziphatha ngayo ngoku. Njengokuba kwakungekho nto eyenzekayo, ukuze kungabi nantoni yokunyusa iimvakalelo zomntu othandekayo? Kodwa ke kukho umngcipheko wokuba siza kuthathwa njenge-egoists. Okanye ngaba ufanelekile ukutshintsha uhlobo lobudlelwane bakho naye, kuba sele egula? Sizibuza imibuzo, cinga malunga nokuba ubuhlobo bethu buphi ngaphambi kokugula. Kodwa okubaluleke ngakumbi, ukugula komnye kusikhumbuza ukwesaba kwethu. Kwaye ngaphezu kwazo zonke - ukwesaba kokufa. Omnye umthombo weemvakalelo zecala yinto eqhelekileyo yokuba kufuneka sibe yindoda okanye intombi efanelekileyo, indoda okanye umfazi. Ukuba kufanelekile ukunyamekela, ukunyamekela isihlobo sakho. Oku kubaluleke kakhulu kulabo babecala ebuntwaneni, abahlala beboniswa ukuba abahambelani nesiqhelo. Oku kuphazamiseka kukuba: ngakumbi umntu ojongene nomntu, bhetele uyayinyamekela abagulayo, unobumba obuthathaka. Sifuna ukuxhasa umhlobo ogulayo okanye isihlobo kwaye ngexesha elifanayo sizikhusele ekuhluphekeni. Kukhona ukudideka okungenakukupheka kweemvakalelo eziphikisanayo: siqhekeke phakathi kwothando kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba, umnqweno wokukhusela nokucaphuka kumntu omthandayo osihlawulela ngamanye amaxesha, ukuvelisa iimvakalelo zethu kunye neentlungu zethu. Siphepha ingozi yokulahleka kule labyrinth, ukulahlekelwa yimbonakalo yethu, ukholo lwethu, iinkolelo zethu. Xa sisoloko sigaya iingcamango ezifanayo engqondweni zethu, zizalise ukuqonda kwethu kwaye zidale ukuxabana, okuthintela ukucinga ngokufanelekileyo. Silahlekelwa ukudibanisa nathi, ngeemvakalelo zethu. Oku kubonakalisa ngokoqobo kwinqanaba lomzimba: ukulala, ubuhlungu besifuba, iingxaki zesikhumba ezinokuthi zivele ... Ziyinto yecala lokucinga kunye nokunyaniseka okuxhomekeke kuyo. Izizathu zokudideka kweemvakalelo zininzi: ukunyamekela isigulane akushiyi ixesha okanye indawo, kufuneke ukuba ingqalelo, iimpendulo zengqondo, ukufudumala, igalelo zethu. Kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uyonakalisa intsapho. Amalungu ayo onke angabakhona kwimeko yokuziphatha, xa ukugula okude kwesihlobo sabo kuba yintsingiselo kuphela yenkqubo yentsapho.
Ukuchonga imida
Ukukrazula iimvakalelo zecala, ngaphezu kwazo zonke, kufuneka zibonwe kwaye zichazwe ngamagama. Kodwa le yedwa ayaneleyo. Simele siqonde ukuba asinakukwazi uxanduva lomntu omnye. Xa sifumanisa ukuba lwethu uluvo lwamatyala kunye namandla ethu okungazibandakanyi phezu komnye umntu ngamacala amabini enye yemali enye, siya kuthatha isinyathelo sokuqala kwi-intlalo yethu yokomoya, siya kukhulula amandla ekuncedeni umntu ogulayo. " Ukuyeka ukuzigxeka, kufuneka kuqala kuqala ukuyeka ukuvakalelwa ngamandla ethu kwaye sichaze ngokucacileyo imida yoxanduva lwethu. Kulula ukusho ... Kunzima kakhulu ukwenza le nyathelo, kodwa kungcono ukuba ungathandabuzeki nayo. "Andizange ndibone ngokukhawuleza ukuba ndandicasuliwe ngugogo, kodwa ngenxa yokuba waba ngumntu ohlukile emva kokuphazamiseka," kusho uSvetlana, oneminyaka engama-36. - Ndiyazi ukuba wayehluke kakhulu, unomdla kwaye unamandla. Ndimfuna ngokwenene. Kwandithatha ixesha elide ukuba ndivume ukuphela kwalo kwaye ndiyeke ukuzihlambalaza. " Umva wecala unako ukutyhila ubomi obunobuthi, asivumeli ukuba sisondele kakhulu kumthande wethu. Kodwa uthini na? Ngoobani, singathini ngathi? Kwaye kufika ixesha lokuba ixesha lokuphendula ngokunyanisekileyo umbuzo: yintoni ebaluleke kakhulu kum - ubudlelwane nomntu oswelekileyo okanye amava am? Ngamanye amagama: ndiyamthanda lo mntu? Ingcinezelo yecala ingabangela ukungafani phakathi kwesigulane nomhlobo okanye isihlobo. Kodwa kwiimeko ezininzi isigulane alindelanga into engavamile - ifuna nje ukugcina uxhulumano oluye lwahlala lukhona. Kule meko, malunga novelwano, malunga nokuzimisela ukuphulaphula izinto awazilindeleyo. Omnye ufuna ukuthetha ngesifo sakhe, abanye bakhetha ukuthetha ngenye into. Kule meko kwanele ngokwaneleyo ukuba ukwazi ukuphulaphula, ukuphulaphula izinto awazilindeleyo. Kubalulekile ukuba ungazami ukusombulula kanye nento yonke into enhle kumguli, into embi, nendlela yokuseka imida yakho. Indlela efanelekileyo yokuzinceda kukutshintshela ekuxazululeni imisebenzi encinane yemihla ngemihla. Yenza isicwangciso-nyathelo sinyathelo sokwenza unyango, ukubonisana noogqirha, ubuze imibuzo, khangela i-algorithm yakho yoncedo kwisigulane. Bala amandla akho ngaphandle kokuzinikela. Xa ubomi buba luhlelekile kwaye inkqubo ecacileyo yemihla ngemihla ibonakala, kuba lula. " Yaye ungayeki uncedo lwabanye abantu. UVadim uneminyaka engama-47 ubudala. 20 kubo unakekela unina okhubazekile. "Ngoku, emva kweminyaka emininzi, ndiqonda ukuba ubomi bam nobomi bam bebeza kukhula ngokungafaniyo - andiyazi ukuba kungcono okanye kubi, kodwa ngokungafaniyo ukuba sasinako ukunyamekela umama kunye namanye amalungu entsapho. Ukuba sisondele kwisifo, kunzima ukuyiqonda apho imida yayo iphela khona kwaye iqalise eyabo. Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu - apho umda woxanduva lwethu luphela. Ukuzidweba kukutsho kuwe: kukho ubomi bakhe, kwaye ndikhoyo wam. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba i-close close iya kukhatywa, inceda kuphela ukuqonda apho iphuzu lokudibanisa lobomi bethu.
Thatha umvuzo
Ukuseka ulwalamano olufanelekileyo nomntu esilungileyo kuye, ngubani esimkhathalelayo, kubalulekile ukuba le nto ibe yintsikelelo. Kwaye oku kubonisa ukuba kufuneka kube nomvuzo kumntu onceda. Oku kukunceda ukugcina ulwalamano nomntu ayemnakekelayo. Ngaphandle koko, uncedo luba ngumnikelo. Kwaye imiba yesibingelelo isoloko idala ubudlova nokunyamezela. Abaninzi abantu bayazi ukuba unyaka ngaphambi kokufa kwakhe u-Alexander Pushkin wayehamba kuloo dolophu ukuba anakekele umama u-Hope Hannibal. Emva kokufa kwakhe, wabhala ukuba kule "mfutshane nje ndandiyithandana nothando lomama, endingazange ndayazi ke ngoko ...". Ngaphambi kokufa kwakhe, umama wabuza unyana ukuba axolelwe ngenxa yokungabi nanele ukumthanda. Xa sinquma ukuhamba nomntu othandekayo kule ndlela enzima, kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuba sithatha uxanduva lwexesha elide. Lo ngumsebenzi omkhulu ohlala kwiinyanga, nangeminyaka. Ukuze ungaphumeleli ukukhathala, ukutshatyalaliswa ngokomzwelo, ukunceda isihlobo okanye umngane, kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ngokucacileyo oko kukuxabisa thina, sifumana ekukhulumeni nesigulane. Oku kwenzeka kwintsapho yaseAlexei, apho ugogo, owayegula ngumhlaza osisigxina, wabumbana zonke izihlobo ezizungezile ngenye imini, zibaphoqa ukuba zilibale malunga nokungahambisani kwangaphambili. Saqaphela ukuba into ebaluleke kakhulu kuthi ukwenza iinyanga zokugqibela zobomi bakhe bemihlali. Kwaye kuye kwakusoloko kuluhlobo olulodwa lonwabo - ukuba yonke intsapho yayiye kunye.