Ngoku i-psychology ifanelekileyo njengenzululwazi. I-Psychology namhlanje inomdla kwinani elikhulu labantu, nangona i-psychology enye yezona zenzululwazi ezincinci. Kutheni kubonisa umdla wakhe omkhulu? Oku kunokwenzeka ukuba, ngelo xesha kukuba kunzima kakhulu ukuqonda abantu, ngokukodwa isini esahlukileyo, kwaye kukuncedisa ingqondo yengqondo ukuba unokwenza umzobo wengqondo yomntu wonke.
Ukuze ufunde ubuntu, akufuneki ukuba ube yingcali kwintsimi yengqondo. Thatha umzekelo ukubonakalisa imvakalelo, makube kukuhleka. Inkolelo yokuhleka, ukuvakala okanye ukuthula, ihlazo okanye ngokuchaseneyo, isenzo esisenziwa ngayo ukuhleka. Yonke le nto inokukunceda njengendlela yokufumana umlinge womntu lowo uhleka ngayo.
Ukwazi njani umlingiswa womntu ngokuhleka kwakhe
Abameleli besondo esinamandla banokudluliselwa kwinqanaba labantu abanamahloni nabanamahloni, ukuba xa behleka, bavala umlomo ngomlomo wabo. Ngenxa yokuba banamahloni, baqaphele, bakufumanisa kunzima ukufumana ulwimi olufanayo nabanye. Ngendlela efanayo, abameli beentsimi zabasetyhini bahleka, kwaye oku kungabonakaliswa njengento engathandekiyo kwaye ivalwe.
Ukuba umntu "uyagubha" ukuhleka, ngoko uthetha kwi-typolyudey, ethembele kwizenzo zakhe, eqinile kwiinkolelo zakhe. Indoda enjalo ayithandabuzi izenzo zakhe, amandla akhe. Abasetyhini abahleka ngendlela efana neyona nto inengqiqo, iinjongo ezithandayo. Uninzi luhlala luba nesimo esinamandla.
Ukuhleka ephantsi kwentliziyo, ngelizwi elivela kumntu, lingasitshela ukuba umnini walo ngumntu ongenakuphikiswa. Ungumntu ongaqinisekanga, iimvo zakhe ziguquka ngezikhathi ezithile. Izihloko ezinzulu azizinomdla kuye.
Ukuba ngexesha lokuhleka okukhulu indoda ivula umlomo wayo ngokubanzi, ngoko sinokugqiba ukuba lo mntu unomlingiswa we-irascible. Ziyimpumelelo kwizigqibo, ukusika, njengoko zithetha, okokuqala, kwaye ucinge. Kwisijikelezo sabahlobo into enomdla omkhulu. Ngokumalunga nabafazi abanokuhleka okunjalo, ngaba ngabameli beqela elinomdla kunye nelobuhlungu. Ba nehlabathi elilizityebi. Ukuba ubulili bobuhle buhleka, ngelixa ziveze zonke "amazinyo angamashumi amathathu namabini", ngokubhekiselele kubonisa umgangatho onamandla okwaneleyo.
Ukuhleka okuthulekileyo kunye nentloko ekhothambileyo isitsho ukuba umnikazi wayo unomusa-onentliziyo enyanisekileyo. Abantu abanjalo bagcina iimvakalelo zabo phantsi kolawulo kwaye abasayi kushiya imida efanelekileyo. Baye abantu abakhulileyo abaye bafumana ukukhuliswa kakuhle.
Ukuhleka kwamabhinqa angabonakaliyo, ukutshintsha isalathiso saso ukusuka ekuphumleni kuze kube yinto ephakamileyo uthetha ngobulumko babanini babo. Banomdla kwizobugcisa, uthando, ukuphupha.
Ukuba ukuhleka kufaka indawo yomsindo, apho umlomo uphawulwa khona ngasekunene, uthi wena ungumntu onzima. Oku, njengommiselo, abantu, abangaboniyo kunye neembini.
Abaninzi banokuhleka ngendlela ekhethekileyo. Njengomthetho, oku kuhambelana nomntu. Laba ngabantu abambelela ngokungqongqo kwimbono yabo, kwaye abanandaba nabanye. Phila kwihlabathi lemithetho yabo.
Ngasentla sichaze enye yezona zihlandlo ezibalaseleyo zomntu wokuhleka onokukuva. Enyanisweni, yonke into iyodwa. Kwaye ukuhleka kwamanzi kungadlulelwa iintlobo ezininzi. Kwaye akufuneki ukuba ukuchazwa ngokucacileyo kufike ngokuqinisekileyo kufike kule ndawo okanye ukuhleka. Nantsi siye sakhupha izinto ezichazwe ngokucacileyo, eqinisweni zingakwazi ukudibanisa nabanye ngomlinganiselo othile. Isiphetho malunga nomlingani womntu asinakuphikiswa. Enyanisweni, ukuhleka yinto enye yezinto ezithi zikwazi ukunika umntu othile. Ngokomzekelo wethu, umgangatho wokuhleka ungasinika ingcamango jikelele yomntu.
Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, ndingathanda ukugxotha inkolelo ye-tickling. Kukholelwa ukuba ngoncedo lwe-tickling ungenza umntu ahleke, ngoko ke, kwaye uvuselele. Oososayensi baseMerika bakholelwa ukuba oku akunjalo. Baqhuba uvavanyo kwaye bachaza ukuba ukuhleka komntu okupapashileyo ngexesha lokukrazula akungazi, akukho nto, ukuze angenakuvuyisa kwaye avuyise ngakumbi.