Oobawo bee-singles abadibana nabo kaninzi njengomama, kodwa kukho iimeko xa uyise ngokwakhe ekhula umntwana. Yaye ukuba uthe waba yintombazana yendoda enjalo, indlela yokuziphatha xa umona womntwana kwiintombi zentata iboniswa?
Okokuqala, khumbula njalo ukuba ngenxa yomona kumngane kabawo akukho nto engaqhelekanga kwaye engaqhelekanga. Ngokuphambene noko, akunqabile xa inkwenkwe ihamba ngokukhawuleza kwintombi entsha kwintsapho yakhe, ngakumbi ukuba sele sele ihlala eyaziwayo. Ngoko akudingeki ukuba uzicinge njengomntu ombi, ukukopela, okanye ukukhulisa ubunzima obuphantsi. Khumbula ukuba ngokungafani nomntwana, ungumdala kwaye kule meko kufuneka ubonise bonke ubulumko babo basebenzise zonke izakhono.
Ngoko, wenza njani imeko apho ubona umona womntwana? Okokuqala, umele ubonise umntwana ukuba awuyikuba nayiphi na indlela ufuna ukumthabatha uyise. Ngoko ke, xa udibana nomfana, makamthathe unyana wakhe okanye intombi yakhe. Ngokuqinisekileyo, uya kuba nobudlelwane obusondeleyo, kodwa entloko yomntwana uyayeka ukubonakalisa iingcinga apho upapa achitha ixesha ngaphandle kwakhe, kodwa nawe. Ngaloo ndlela, umona wakhe awuyi kuba nomhlaba onomsoco kwaye uza kuqala ukuphela.
Ungazami ukuthatha indawo yomama
Kunzima kakhulu xa utata omncinci ephethe intombi, kungekudala emva kokuba aphule kunye nonina womntwana. Ngokwemvelo, ukuba umntwana unomntwana kuphela kunye nomfazi ongcono kakhulu onokuthi uyise ufanele abe kunye. Kwaye kumhlobo wakhe, kungakhathaliseki ukuba umntu ulungile kangakanani, inkunzi iyakhathaza njengotshaba. Musa ukuziphatha kwakhe ngeendleko zakho. Kumele uhloniphe iimvakalelo zomntwana kunyoko. Kodwa kunye nalo mfana kufuneka umfundise ukuba ahloniphe iimvakalelo zikayise. Ngoko, cacisa umntwana ukuba awuyi kuthatha indawo kamama wakho kwaye uqonde ukuba uyona mhle kuye. Kodwa ukuba uyamthanda uTata, ngoko kufuneka uqonde ukuba ungumhlobo wakhe kwaye uyonwabile kwaye unomdla kunye nawe. Enyanisweni, kwiimeko ezinjalo, kukho imibuzo enzima efana nale: "Kuthekani ngobawo nomama ngakumbi kwaye kutheni?". Kule meko, kuhle kakhulu xa umntu wakho kunye nomfazi wakhe owayengumfazi wakhe behlukana nabahlobo. Emva koko akayi kumthiya intombi entsha yexesha langaphambili kwaye unokuthembela kuncedwa ngumama, ngubani na oya kuchazela unyana wakhe okanye intombi ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngento yokuba upapa uya kudibana nomnye umama. Ukuba ubona ukuba umfazi wangaphambili umise umntwana kuwe, akufanele uqalise imfazwe yokulungelelanisa. Yiba nobulumko kwaye ungabi nantoni. Ewe, ukuba umntwana ufuna, uya kuhlala efumana isizathu sokukugxeka into ethile, kodwa akudingeki ukuba uncede ngezenzo zakho. Zama ukuba ngumhlobo wakhe, kodwa unganyanzelwanga. Ngamanye amaxesha unokuphakamisa into okanye ucebise, kodwa usoloko ushiye isisombululo emva kwayo. Musa ukuthi, "Kufuneka wenze oku." Kungcono ukuthi: "Uyazi, ndivile ukuba kwimiba enje ..." okanye "Ndineenkalo ezifanayo kwaye ndagqiba ekubeni ..." Mlungele umntwana ukuba angathathi iingcebiso zakho. Awudingi ukubonisa ukuba uphukisiwe okanye ukrakra. Khumbula, oku kukukhunjulwa okanye ukungaxhasi. Ngoko soloko uzigcinele ngesandla.
Musa ukutyhola
Akufanele utyhuse umntwana. Akayi kuba nomona omncinane ngenxa yokuba uthenga izipho ezibiza. Kunoko, uya kufunda ukusebenzisa le nto kwaye aqale ukunyusa ngokubanzi, anganiki nto. Ngoko yenza njengokuba uza kubakho unyana wakho (intombi) okanye abazalwana. Kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba akayidingi izinto zakho, ufuna uyise.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, kulula kubafazi kwimeko xa umntwana engazi unina. Kule meko, akananto engayithelekisayo. Ukuba unayo yonke into, zama ukuba ngumama wakhe, kodwa ungayimvumeli uthando lwakho. Kufuneka ufunde ukuqonda oko akufunayo ngokwenene, unike umdlalo wakhe wokuzonwabisa oya kuba mnandi kumntwana kwaye uzame ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kangangoko kunokwenzeka ezintathu kunye. Kwaye ngokokuqala kwindawo yayimnandi kwaye ilungileyo.