Zama ukucinga ukuzola ngokuphathelele imeko. Ukuba umntwana okhulileyo uneminyaka engaphezu kweminyaka emibili ngexesha lokuqalisa ukukhulelwa, unokucinga malunga nokukhishwa kwakhe kwesikhashana okanye okugqibeleleyo. Kodwa oku kwamkelekile kuphela ukuba akaxhomekekanga kakhulu kubisi lonina. Uyakhumbula, ngaba unokuhlala engenamama ngaphezu kweeyure eziyi-3-4 (umzekelo, kunye nogogo, uyise okanye umfana)? Ingaba umntwana unamava okulala ngaphandle kwesifuba somama? Mhlawumbi wayesele ehlala kunye nogogo kwidolophana ngaphandle kwakho kwaye wahlala ezolile, engakhathazeki kakhulu ngokuhlukana nonina nobisi? Ukuba kunjalo, ngoko unako ukukhusela ngokukhuselekileyo iziqhekeza ezisesikhwameni sexesha lokukhulelwa. Ngokukodwa ukuba ingcamango ngokwayo yokondla umdala ngeli xesha ayikukholisi.
Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntwana omdala engakabi neminyaka emi-2 ubudala, okanye, kodwa ngokucacileyo unamathele kubhokhwe lomama (ulala naye kuphela, akazange ahlale ixesha elide ngaphandle komama, umntwana okhuselekileyo kunye nosengozini (ngakumbi ukuba uyintombazana)), kuthatha ingozi. Zama ukuhlanganisa ukuncelisa nokukhulelwa. Khumbula ukuba oku kwakuyindlela eqhelekileyo yabo bonke abantu abaphila ngokwenene-kwilizwe lethu nakwiNtshona ukuya ekuqaleni kwekhulu lama-20, naseMpuma nasezizweni-kude kube ngoku. Zixhase ngengcamango yokuba awuyena yedwa oqhelekileyo kunye nezobugcisa. Yenza konke ukuze ungalimazi umntwana ozayo.
Enyanisweni, ngokuncelisa kunye nokukhulelwa okutsha, loo ntlangano yenkqubo ibalulekile. Nguwe kuphela kulo mcimbi ungalimazi umntwana ozelweyo ukuba uyazi oko unokukwenza noko ungenako. Kubalulekile ukugxila kwi-intuition yakho. Emva koko, ukuba umama wesikhathi esizayo uyaziva (akazakheli ngokwakhe, emva kokuphulaphula iingcebiso zabanye abantu, kodwa uvakalelwa emphefumlweni wakhe), kungcono ukuba ungakondli ngexesha lokukhulelwa, kungcono ukuphulaphula. Sivame ukungazi kakuhle indlela enokuyenza ngayo, kodwa singazithembi. Kwaye, ngokuchaseneyo, ukuba unina uyaqiniseka ukuba yonke into iya kuba yinto efanelekileyo, ukuba umzimba uya kusebenza kakuhle, ngoko kuyimfuneko ukondla. Nangona abantu bendawo bayakrokrela ukuncelisa ngexesha lokukhulelwa.
Khumbula inamba yemithetho elula.
- Ukutya kwisimo esilungele wena, ungalala phantsi. Ukumboza umquba, ukuba kuyimfuneko (ngaphantsi komva, amadolo, amaqabunga, umntwana).
- Fumana ukulala ngokwaneleyo! Ukuba awunakho ixesha elaneleyo ebusuku, ulala ebusuku.
- Yidla ngokufunwa, ungabi njala okanye utywala.
- Ukuphumla njengoko ufuna ukuziva. Ungazami ukubamba yonke into!
- Ukuba iimbumba ziba buhlungu ngexesha lokuncelisa, zitshintshe ukunyameka kokutya, zama ukunciphisa ukuba usebenzise omdala, umphazamise ngokuhamba, uxoxe nabahlobo, iincwadi, umzekelo, njl.
- Kuyaziwa ukuba ngokukhawuleza emva kokubeleka, ukunyamezela iintsana ezisanda kuzalwa kubangela ukuphambana kwesisu. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba ukuncelisa ukukhulelwa kwangaphambili kunokususa ukukhulelwa kwesisu. Sekunjalo, zilumkele. Ukuba unesiqinisekiso sokuthi ukunondla umthwalo, sisebenzise umntwana kangangoko, uphazamise ngefayile okanye uhambe.
Into ephambili ngoku ukunyamezela nokuzala umntwana ophilileyo. Ngoko ke, ukuncelisa kuza kuba ngumsebenzi wesibini. Kodwa musa ukuvula le mfihlelo kumntwana omdala! Ufanele uqiniseke ukuba unaloo nobisi ekulahleni kwakhe ngokupheleleyo, ukuba unina uyamthanda, njengangaphambili. Ngesikhathi esifanayo ulungiselele ukudibana kwintlanganiso kunye nomzalwana okanye udade ozayo. Mchazele ngothando ukuba umntwana uhlala emlonyeni wakho, ukuba uncinci kwaye ulungile, ukuba uyamthanda umntwana omdala kunye nonina. Yenza umntwana umntwana emva kokuzalwa komtsha omdala uya kumfundisa ukuba adle ubisi lomama. Oku kuya kunciphisa ikusasa lokulwa kunye nokudala umhlobo wobuhlobo phakathi kwabantwana.
Funda iincwadi ngokusondeza abantwana ngokukhawuleza. Kungcono ukuba ziincwadi zabazali abadumileyo baseMerika kunye noogqirha beeNdodana. Qinisekisa ukuba uya kukutya umdala kunye nosana olutsha. Cinga uzinzo. Khumbula ukuba ukunyusa kuya kunceda umdala ukuba aphumelele ukujamelana nokuxinzezeleka emva kokuzalwa kwe-crumb kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo uyomeleze umzimba wakhe. Esikhundleni sokuphulaphula ukuhlambalaza (kaninzi kungenakukhunjulwa kwiinyanga ezi-2 zokuqala) kwaye unyanga umntwana omdala ngenxa yokubanda, akunakulungele ukondla ababini abantwana kunye nababini (amawele ama-feed amama, abantwana kwizandla zombini kwi-pillow yokutya okanye ukuxhomekeka nje)? Umama ngeli xesha uya kukwazi ukuphumla kancane. Ukongezelela, awuyi kuba neengxaki zokungabikho kobisi, kuba unyanzela ngokukhawuleza! Kwaye akuyi kubakho i-stagnation, kuba umdala uhlala evuya ukusela ubisi obongezelelweyo.
Shayela kude naluphi na ukungathandabuzeki okungekho kubisi okwaneleyo kubini! Ngenxa yokuba intlungu eyiphulayo, yenziwa ngakumbi! Kwaye umama unesondlo esaneleyo ngokufanelekileyo ukubonelela iivithamini kubantwana babini. Ngaphandle kokuba i-cottage cheese ibhetele kakhulu, kwaye oko kuthanda.
Khumbula ukuba yonke ukukhulelwa okutsha kuyilingo olunzulu kwimpilo yakho. Ngaphantsi kwentliziyo yakho, ubomi obutsha bukhula kwaye buphuhlise. Kwi-trimester yokuqala kukubeka izitho ezibalulekileyo kunye neenkqubo. Kwaye kuxhomekeke kuwe ngeendlela ezininzi ngoku ingaba umntwana wakho ozayo uza kuba buthathaka kwaye abuhlungu okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, uya kukhula enempilo kwaye enamandla. Kodwa ngexesha elinye, ukukhulelwa kunomphumela wokuhlaziya kumzimba wesetyhini. Ngenxa yohlengahlengiso lwama-hormone, ukuhlanganiswa kwazo zonke iimbutho zokukhusela kwenzeka, ukukhuseleka komama ozayo kuyomelezwa ngokucacileyo. Sokutsho oko kubomi bendoda encinci, inkxaso enamandla kakhulu kwimpilo yowesifazane okhulelweyo ivela. Oku akufanele kululibale!
Ukukhulelwa akusisifo. Ukuba usesikhundleni, unempilo! Kwaye ukukhusela ubomi obutsha umzimba wakho ngeli xesha kuza kusebenza kunye nombane obomvu. Ngoko ke, ngokwabo, ukutyisa akusayi kuba nemiphumo emibi emzimbeni. Ngaphezu koko, ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwisiqingatha sesibini sokukhulelwa ukubunjwa ubisi kuyahluka (abantu bathi: "kuya kuba buhlungu"), kwaye umntwana usenokuyeka. Ewe, ukuba akunjalo, unako ukudibanisa ngokuthe ngqo ukunyusa nokukhulelwa, ukuba uziphulaphule, phumula kwaye unakekele impilo yakho.