Kwaye iinani lizithetha ngokwalo, iifama ezingama-70% zijongene nesimo esifanayo, njengokushiya indoda kwintsapho ukuya kwinkosikazi. Kwaye umbuzo wokuqala ongathandabuzekiyo ukutyelela intloko yomfazi oshiyiweyo: ngaba kulungele ukuqhawula okanye akunjalo?
Ukuqonda ngokwenene kuyimfuneko ukuqhawula umtshato okanye kungenjalo, ukuba umyeni uye waya kwinkosikazi yakhe, kuqala ngowomfazi oshiyweyo kufuneka ahlaziye kakuhle indlela yakhe yokuziphatha, yintoni isizathu sokuba ahambe kwintsapho? Kule meko, kubalulekile ukubamba ingxoxo kunye kunye bobabini. Ekugqibeleni ukufumanisa ukuba yini enye eyenza iqabane lihambe nomfazi kunye nokuba umtshato uyadingeka, zininzi iindlela zokukhetha, yaye zihlala zixhomekeke kwinjani yomtshato.
Njengomthetho, abafazi abashiyiweyo abanqweneli ukukholelwa kwinto eyenzekayo kwaye bazame ukubuyisela umlingane ongenakukhathazeka ngocalulo. Ngenxa yoko, ngokwandisa imeko yangoku.
Ukuba awukwazi ukuxoxa ngazo zonke iziqhelo zengxaki, ngoko bobabini abatshatileyo kufuneka bafune uncedo kwisifo sengqondo senzululwazi, kodwa ke banokugqiba isigqibo sokuba ngaba ufuna ukuqhawula umtshato, ukuba indoda iya kwindlovukazi yayo? Kwimiba enjalo kukho iingcali ezininzi ezinokwazi eziza kunceda ukufikelela kwisigqibo esifanelekileyo kwindoda nomfazi. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, isisombululo esifanelekileyo kukuqhagamshelana neengcali zengqondo, kodwa, ngelanga, abaninzi abantu abanengqondo embi malunga nomkhankaso ohlangeneyo kunye neengcali, becinga ukuba bayakwazi ukuqonda imeko.
Isizathu kunye nokusola kwale meko ibuhlungu kufunyaniswa bobabini bomtshato. Ukuze umntu alondoloze umtshato oqinileyo, ithoni ibalulekile ebuhlotsheni, amadoda ayaziwa ngokuthanda amehlo, ahlala efuna ukubona ubomi bawo bomzimba kwindawo efanelekileyo kunye nesimo somzimba esihle kakhulu. Umfazi, njengoko eyaziwayo ngeendlebe zakhe, uhlala ekulindela kumyeni wakhe ukuncoma kunye namazwi afudumele abonisa uthando lwakhe kunye nomnqweno womfazi wakhe, kwakhona, umfazi uhlala ekholiswa kunye nembonakalo yeemvakalelo. Kwaye into ebalulekileyo yoqabane isondo.
Njengomthetho, ngomonde umnqweno uphazamisa kwiminyaka, kwaye njengokuba amadoda afunwa ngumfazi wabo kwaye bafuna ukunakwa ngakumbi nangokuqonda, kwaye xa bejamelana nesimo sengqondo esichasene nomfazi wabo, bahlala bekhetha ukufumana induduzo kwiingalo zenkosikazi, ngokuqhelekileyo umnkosikazi wakhe umncinci kwaye umfazi ophilileyo.
Nangona kunjalo, kwakungekho, umfazi ofumene kwiimeko ezinzima kufuneka enze ukhetho: ngaba kufuneka afake umtshato ukuba umyeni wakhe aye kwindlovukazi yakhe?
Kwaye ke loo mfazi ufune ukuzimisela ngokucacileyo ukuba uya kuvala amehlo akhe ekungcatshiseni komyeni wakhe, uqonde kwaye umxolele ukuba ufuna ukubuyela kwintsapho. Kodwa oku kusengelula ukwenza, kwaye ngoko ke izikali ziza kuthatha isigqibo malunga nomtshato.
Yaye yintoni enokunyanzela umfazi ukuba aphephe isikali ngenxa yokulondoloza umtshato? Kule nto, nayo yonke ibhinqa inezizathu ezininzi. Isizathu esibaluleke kakhulu ukukhuthaza ukugcina umtshato emva kokuba iqabane liyeke ikosikazi, ngaba abantwana abaqhelekileyo. Akunqweneli ukuphazamisa i-psyche of children esemncinci, umyeni udla ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwintsapho, ekufumaneni ukuxolelwa komfazi wakhe, aze aqhubeke ephila, ekwakheni imbono yesibini esitshatileyo.
Kwimeko enjalo, unokuzisa iingxabano ezininzi kwenye inzuzo. Kodwa xa kukhethwa ukhetho lomntu, kwaye sele sele eshiye intsapho ngenxa yenkosikazi yakhe, umfazi oshiywe yedwa unako, ngendlela efanelekileyo kunye nokuqonda oko akulindeleyo ebomini nasemtshatweni wakhe ngokubanzi, unqume ukuba uyahlukana okanye akunjalo ukuba umyeni uye waya kwinkosikazi yakhe.