Ubugcisa bokubonga

Amazwi anempembelelo enkulu kithi. Ekuhambeni kwexesha ibinzana elinjalo litshintsha kakhulu: ubomi bomntu, umsebenzi, isimo sengqondo kwimeko ethile. Izincoma zizobugcisa bonke, indlela enamandla yokuzichaphazela wena nabanye abantu. Kubonakala ngathi kulula ukuthetha kumntu: "Ngaba ukhangeleka kakuhle namhlanje" okanye "ngaba uyenze kakuhle lo msebenzi onzima"? Kodwa kubonakala ukuba baninzi bethu banesibindi sangaphambili ngaphambi kokubongelela omnye.
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kwakunjani, ukukwazi ukuphendula ngokufanelekileyo kuyisakhono esifanelekileyo okanye ukuba ufuna ubugcisa, ukuba ungathanda ukufumana iziphumo ezilungileyo kwixabiso eliphantsi.
Makhe sithethe malunga noko kukuthintela ukuba senze izibongozo, njani ukunqoba ukwesaba, njani ukungenzi iimpazamo kunye nendlela yokusebenzisa ubulumko bendoda "Igama elithandekayo kunye nekati elihle" kwiinjongo zomntu.

Isifundo 1. Ifilosofi yokuncoma.

Ukudumisa umnxibelelwano ubugcisa basendulo. Ewe, ubugcisa. EMpuma akunakwenzeka ukucinga ukuthetha phakathi koqabane, oogxa, izalamane kunye nabahlobo nje kuphela ngaphandle kwamazwi amnandi kunye namanconyiso. Imbali yezizwana ezininzi zisitshela ukuba amandla okuthetha iingcungciso kubafazi, bazalwana, ookumkani basoloko bexazulula ingxaki yabantu abambalwa kuphela, kodwa nawo onke amazwe.
Injongo yokuncoma ingaba nayiphi na into: umnqweno wokuvusa uvelwano, ukuqinisa idumela, ukuphucula isimo sezenhlalakahle, ukuthintela imeko kunye nokuphathwa.

Khumbula indlela ozive ngayo xa umntu ephawule kwaye esazi isidima sakho nempumelelo. Khumbula indlela isimo sakho sengqondo somntu esitshintshile ngayo, kuxhomekeke kwizinto ezintle ezithethileyo. Ngaba uhlale uzimisele? Ngokuqinisekileyo akunjalo. Ngokuqhelekileyo sitshintsha isimo sethu sengqondo kubantu, okokuba, nangona kungabikho ukuzithemba, kodwa oko kukumnandi ukuphulaphula! Basitshela ngobuhle bethu, ingqondo yethu, ukukwazi kwethu ukuvakalelwa ngokucokisekileyo nokuzithobayo, malunga neempawu ezithile ezikhethekileyo, malunga nokuzikhethela kweengcamango zethu.

Yiba ngumntu ophazamisa lula igama, unako. Thatha ngokungathandekiyo ukuba into yokuba ukuncoma okulungileyo kuhlala kuyamkeleka. Ngoko ke, unokulawula izimo zengqondo nawuphi na umntu. Oku kunokuba lunxibelelwano olukhulu, kwaye unokubonga abantu.

Isifundo. 2. Amava amabi.

Abaninzi bethu bazama ukuthetha ukuncoma. Kutheni kulo mzekelo kwakungekho nto ibuyayo? Kutheni amazwi ethu omusa awazange afinyelele kwi-addressee? Kutheni sasinamahloni ngenxa yamagama ethu? Kutheni sifundekile? Ukuba iincoma zihlala zihamba kunye neemvakalelo ezintle, uluntu luya kudala luye luthetha izinto ezimnandi komnye nomnye. Kodwa, ukuba kusekho abantu abanokuqonda kakuhle ukuzithemba komntu, baphakamise imimoya yabo kwaye bahlengahlengise iimpumelelo ezintsha ngegama elifutshane, ngoko ingxaki ayikho ekuncoma, kodwa kwenye into.

Umzamo ongaphumeleli.
Uloyiko lokutshela umntu into encinane "le ngxowa yakho yinto yakho" isoloko isekelwe kwisilingo esingazange siphumelele. Mhlawumbi, xa useneminyaka yobutsha, uxelele amantombazana amaxesha amaninzi ukuba baneenwele ezintle kunene okanye amehlo, kodwa abazange bamkele ukubonga okulindelekileyo ngokubuyisela. Mhlawumbi iinzame zakho zokuthetha ngokufaneleka komntu zibangele ukungakhathaleli. Mhlawumbi oogxa bam abazange basabele ngendlela owamncoma ngayo kwimpumelelo yabo.
Okokuqala, ngokumangalisayo, abaninzi abantu abazi nje ukuba bayamkela njani ukuncoma. Omnye uthanda ukuzenza nje ukuba akavanga, umntu uyanqwenela.
Ukuba unika abantu ithuba lokuphikisana nesitatimenti sakho, baya kukwenza. Ukuba ukuncoma kwakho kukuvakala ngokungathandabuzekiyo, abantu baya kukhetha ukungaziphendulela okanye baphendule ngokukhawuleza.

Ngexesha lo kuqala.
Ukwenza okuthile okokuqala ngoloko kuhlala kusongela. Sinoyika into engaziwayo, sizinikezela ngokungenasiphoko isiganeko esiqhelekileyo sisigxina esibalulekileyo kwaye siyithathe ngokubalulekileyo.
Ukwesaba ukuxelela omnye umntu ukuncoma kubangelwa ukungakhuselekanga kunye nokwesaba kokufumana umvuzo ohloniphekileyo. Abantu abaninzi bafuna ukuva ngokuphendula "musa ukubonga", kodwa uluhlu olupheleleyo lweemfanelo zabo.
Ukwenza into okokuqala akudingeki ukuba ugxininise kakhulu kulo mcimbi. Ngaba ufuna ukufihla ukungabikho kwamava? Yiphathe isiluleko sakho sokuqala njengombuliso oqhelekileyo.

Kukho imithetho elula eyokukunceda unqobe ukwesaba nokuhlazeka phambi komsebenzi wokubonga.
1) Ukuncoma, xelela umntu omi phambi kwakho. Ungazami ukulungiswa ngaphambi kokuba abo babekade bebengazixabanga iinzame zakho.
2) Ukuncoma akukuthinteli nantoni na. Ukuncoma kwintombazana akusayikunikezelwa kwesandla kunye nentliziyo, indoda ayizimisele ukungena ebuhlotsheni obusondeleyo, akusiyo isimemezelo sothando.
3) Ukumncoma akuyikuvuma ukutshatyalaliswa. Xa uthetha into entle kumntu, akuthethi ukuba unobungozi.
4) Ukuncoma, akufanele wenze izethulo ezinde kunye nezigqibo ezijulile.
5) Ukuncoma ukuba uyayithanda kwabanye abantu, oko kuthetha ukuba lo msebenzi awufanele udale ukuzisola okanye uhlazo.

Isifundo 3. Indlela yokuphepha iimpazamo.

Ayikho imimiselo eyamkelwayo okanye iimodeli eziza kukunceda ukudala ukuncoma, ngokubambela njalo kunye nonke. Kodwa kukho iipazamo, ngaphandle kwayo, uza kufinyelela lula ngempumelelo kwimisebenzi nzima yokuba ngumntu othakazelisayo.

1) Musa ukuthoba.
Kukho umahluko omkhulu phakathi kokuncoma kunye nokuthoba, lo mmahluko uvakalelwa ngabantu abaninzi. Qhubeka kumgaqo wokuba ukubetha ulingana nobuxoki, kwaye ubuxoki bobuxoki bukhupha iimvakalelo kude nezinto ezilungileyo. Izibongozo zinokuyifumanisa inyaniso, kodwa akukho mfuneko ingayiphikisana nayo.
Tshela umntu onqabileyo ukuncoma ngokukwazi ukunyamekela iinwele kunjengekrekrele nje ukuzama ukuthelekisa umfazi onomfanekiso ococekileyo ocacileyo nge-ballerina. Ukuba uyayigatya le mithetho, kukho umngcipheko omkhulu wokutshintshwa nge-sycophant engasayi kuba nethemba.
2) Yibani ngokukhethekileyo.
Ukubonga kufanele kujoliswe kwaye kubekwe ngqo. Ukuthi "bonke abafazi banhle" kuyindlela engalunganga. "Ulungile" isigqibo esifanelekileyo. Akuyimfuneko ukuvelisa, kodwa kubalulekile ukuba ulungele uluvo lwakho, oku kukubangela ukuzithemba ngakumbi kumazwi akho, ngakumbi kubantu abangathembekiyo.
3) Yinyani.
Mane nje uthetha amazwi amnandi kumntu onesihawu. Kodwa ebomini kukho iimeko ezahlukeneyo, xa ufuna ukuthetha ngokuncoma kuphela kulabo abathandayo. Kule meko, kulungele ukuba uqaphele into engenakuphikiswa - i-suit suit, intetho ekholisayo, isidlo esiphundu.
Hlonipha, uvule kwaye uthethe oko ubonayo, kuya kunceda ukubeka nabani na kwicala lakho.
4) Yiba lula.
Incomo enhle imfutshane. Oku akusiyo inkulumko okanye incoko yokuthetha. Ukuncoma kungabandakanya izivakalisi ezimbalwa, kungekho. Kukho umngcipheko omkhulu wokuba ngaphandle kwamava afanelekileyo kwaye ngaphandle kwamakhono athile, uya kudideka kukuphela kwegama kwaye uzivelele ekukhanyeni okungathandekiyo.
5) Gxininisa.
Ukuba ucinga ukuba ulungile kubantu okanye uyazi umntu onokuthanda ukumncoma, uthetha ngento ethile ngaphezu kokulala. Ukuphawula ukuthengwa okutsha, khankanya ukukwazi ukukhetha izinto ngongcamango, italente ukuba ibonakale enkulu naziphi na iimeko okanye ukudala uxinzelelo nakwiimeko ezingenathemba. Thetha malunga nobuhle obuphezu kokuthengwa ngokuqhelekileyo kwengubo okanye imoto.
6) Sebenzisa umzekelo.
Ukuze ungeke uxoliswe ngokungathembeki, zincoma omnye komnye ngokungafani nawe. Yithi awuzange ukwazi ukugcina amaphepha ngokulandelelana, njengoko usebenza naye. Okanye, ukuba kunzima ukuba ubhale intetho kunokubhukuda umlambo ongafani nomhlobo.
Gwema ukuthelekisa okugqithiseleyo, uthethe ngezinto ezilula kwaye ezicacileyo, ngaphandle kokukhazamisa isithunzi sakho. Ukunconywa komntu onokuzithemba, owaziyo iimpazamo zabo nokwazi ukubhiyozela esinye isidima sabantu, kuyanconywa kakhulu.
7) Yithetha into ofuna ukuyiva kuwe. Xa abantu benza nayiphi na imisebenzi, balindele ukuvunyelwa kwabanye. Banike ithuba lokuvuyela impumelelo yabo.
8) Musa ukuzibamba. Akukho nto embi ngaphezu komntu ophazamisayo abanye ngamanconywa angenanto okanye iingconyiso ezibonisa impendulo. Kwaye akukho nto ingcono kunomntu okwazi ukuhamba kunye nokumncoma ukuphawula into entle kuwo wonke umntu ojikelezayo. Akuyimfuneko ukunyanzela umntu eludongeni kwaye ubeke uluhlu lwakhe oluhlonitshiweyo, uya kubangela iimvakalelo ezimbi. Yenza ngokulula, okanye ungenzi nto nhlobo.
9) Musa ukulibala malunga nawe. Dumisani abanye kwaye ungalokothi udumise unobungozi kakhulu. Oku kuya kubangela ingqiqo eqinileyo yokungaphantsi. Ukuxelela abanye ngeenzuzo zabo, musa ukulibala ngeyakho. Unemilinganiselo emininzi, okunye abanye abayiphuphayo, khumbuza le mihla ngemihla. Zithokozelele kuyo yonke impumelelo, kuzo zonke iinyathelo ezibalulekileyo. Oku kuya kunceda ukuba ulingane nangomntu ophumelele kakhulu.
10) Qeqesha imihla ngemihla! Phawula kumntu wonke onciphisa ubomi, into enhle. Phawula into entsha kumaqabane endala. Khangela ixesha elihle kuyo yonke into. Ngoko awuyi kuswela isizathu sokubonga, kwaye ihlabathi liya kubonakala lingumhlobo.

Isifundo 4. Khetha into.

Ngoku, xa siyazi, ukuba kungekhona bonke, ngoko ke into eninzi malunga nobugcisa bokubonga, uhlala ukhetha abantu oya kubazenza. Ngubani onokuyenza? Abathandekayo kuphela? Kufuneka kuphela? Okanye omnye umntu?
Ndiza kuphendula ngokulula: wonke umntu ojikelezayo. Ukuncoma kwiintsapho kunye nabathandekayo kuya kuvumela ukugcina ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kunye noludumele. Ukuncoma kubahlobo kuya kunceda ukuqinisa ubuhlobo. Ukuncoma abo osebenza nabo kuya kukhangela iingqungquthela eziphambili - uza kufumana uncedisi apho ungalindelanga ukuba uzuze. Ukuncoma kubasemagunyeni, ukuba uyayigcina i-golden gold, iya kukuchaza njengomntu ovulekileyo noqondayo. Ngaba uyaqonda?
Ungazibali iziphumo zokuncoma kwakho ngokwemivuzo. Asikwazi ukuba ubomi bethu buya kutshintsha njani emzuzwana ozayo. Mhlawumbi uya kukhumbuza intombazana engaziwayo oye wathetha into entle kwisitrato, okanye umntu owamncoma ukuba unakekele intombazana, akunandaba. Mhlawumbi, baya kukunceda ukukhupha iphepha elifanelekileyo okanye ukhethe okuthile kwintlanganiso elandelayo yithuba. Kungekudala okanye emva koko okuhle kuya kubuya kuwe.
Musa ukusekela iinjongo zokufikelela kwiingenelo, nokuba ngaba umnqweno uyomomotheka womntu obambile ngegama. Yile njongo ezisa inzuzo enkulu.