Enyanisweni, amadoda azingeli, kodwa awona wonke ummeli wesigqibo esihle sabantu angakwazi ukuxhasa umdla wakhe okhethwe kwintlalo yobomi bentsapho, xa intsimi sele imakwe kwaye iyanqotshwa, kwaye inzala ebomini iqala ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza kodwa iphela. Ukwahlula amanani amaninzi eentlobo zabasetyhini, okuyiyo eyayibeka umngcipheko wowesifazane olahlekelwa ngumyeni wakhe, okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, - kubangela ukutshatyalaliswa kwentsapho yabanye. Khawucinge ngeenkcukacha ngakumbi ukucacisa indima yabesifazane kunye nokuqonda oko kuyimfuneko ukwazi le ntokazi ukuze ungamthathi umyeni wakhe.
Ngoko, "i-villain", ingumlenze, isidlo, umtyholi. Ungayikhumbuli njani uMnumzane Winter kwifilimu eyaziwayo "D'Artagnan kunye neMatketeers amathathu". Umfazi onjalo unelungelo lokuzibandakanya kwakhe ekutshatyalaliswa kwenwaba yoluntu. Kuye, akubalulekanga kakhulu loo mntu ngokwakhe, njengenkqubo yokukhohlisa kwakhe. Xa sisebenzisana nexhoba, "i-villain" iyayicacisa kumntu akhethiweyo ukuba naye uyazibona eziphakamileyo ezinokwenyama nangokomzwelo njengokuba kungekho mnye umfazi. Ubulili obukhulayo, uhlobo lomngeni kumntu kunye nobuchule bokuthakazelisa - amakhadi exilongo ale ntombazana. Yingakho amabhinqa abulalayo athandwa kakhulu ngabantu - nabo banokuba ngabazingeli bamambala. Nangona kunjalo, ngubani kulo mzekelo ungumzingeli, kwaye ngubani umdlalo - omnye umbuzo.
Abafazi - "i-simpletons" - ngokufanelekileyo ngokuphathelele ulwalamano lwentsapho, bafumana ulonwabo lwabo lokwenene, kodwa, maye, la mabhinqa athukuthele ngokukhawuleza amadoda ngokuchanekileyo ngenxa yokungabi nako ukungaqiniseki, ukungafihlakeleyo kunye nokuthotyelwa okukhanga amadoda. Abafazi abanjalo banomdla kwaye abanamdla, nangona banokuhlala bexhaswa, banenkathalo, abathembekileyo kunye noqoqosho. Kodwa indoda ayihlali ngesonka kuphela. Ngelishwa, nangona zonke iinzame, ezi zinto zihlala zihamba ngamadoda.
Ekufuneni komnye umfazi, ubomi buya kuphendukela umntu "ukuhluleka": nokuba kunjani na, indoda ithemba, umhlobo olandelayo akayi kumgxeka yonke yakhe imibingelelo eziswa kuye egameni lothando. Indoda ifuna ukubona ibhinqa kufuphi nayo, ngubani oya kumnika yonke into ngaphandle kwamabango. Ngokungathandabuzekiyo, "umsizi" wesifazane uyazincama ngokwenene kumntu wakhe, kodwa ukuhlambalaza rhoqo kunye nezikhumbuzo zexhoba elinjalo licaphukisa umntu, okwenza azisole kukuba wadibana nomnqweno wangaphambili. Njengomthetho, i-archtype enjalo ibandakanya nabasetyhini abaneemfuno ezingenelisekile, abahlala benganeliseki ngobomi kunye nokuziphatha kwabanye. Amangalo akhe ehlabathini, uqala ukubonisa ngendoda yakhe, obangelwa ngumphumela wokulahlekelwa ngumonde kunye nokushiya intshukumo entsha.
Ibhinqa - "intatheli" -ibizwa ngokuba yinto yokusebenza, kodwa ngenxa yobundlobongela kunye nobukhulu kwimigwebo yakhe. Umfazi onjalo ukholelwa ukuba uyazi yonke into ngamadoda kwaye uyabubona, uchanekile, uyazithemba kwaye ukhangele ngokwaneleyo kwindoda yindoda. Olunye uxhaphalo lwenza lufanane nomfazi "onguhlanga." Okukodwa ukukhanga kwindoda enjalo yindoda ephuphayo yokudlulisela uxanduva kwimicimbi yentsapho kubafazi kwaye ifuna ukubusa kwabasetyhini. "I-Reporter" yile ya mabhinqa anokuthatha umyeni wakhe ngaphandle kwentsapho.
Kodwa iphupha lomntu elo liyi "ngumfazi oyinyaniso". Akasoze adibanisa kumgangatho we "simpleton" aze aphelise nantoni na "abahlali" ababenenkani ngokuzondeza umyeni wakhe. Uya kuzisa ubomi besilisa imibala ehlukeneyo, ukugqiba kunye nenjongo. Umfazi onjalo uphupha wonke umntu. Emva kokudibana naye, indoda inokuthi inqabileyo ithi ubomi buyimpumelelo. Kwaye kunjalo ngokwenene. Ukusuka kwala mabhinqa, amadoda ahamba kakhulu kunqabile, kwaye ngoko, ngenxa yentswelo yabo, okanye ngenxa yokuba loo ntokazi ayifuni ukumgcina kufuphi naye.
Kakade ke, akubona bonke abafazi "abangabafazi bonyani". Kodwa ungakhathazeki ngokungahambisani kwakho kunye neyona ndlela ephezulu. Kungcono ukugxininisa ekupheliseni ukuphazamiseka komntu ngamnye, ngoko kuya kuhamba ngokuthe ngcembe kwiphupha lembongi.
Kodwa konke okufanayo, yintoni efuna ukufundwa kumfazi ukuze indoda yakhe ingasuswa?
Okokuqala, ingqondo yesintu, kwaye okwesibini - ubugcisa bokukhohlisa. Into ephambili ekufuneka uyenze apha kuqala okokuba ubuchule bokubukeka buhlala buhluke: kungekhona kuphela ngaphandle, kodwa nangaphakathi. Wonke umntu amaphupha aphile, ukuba kunye nomfazi omnye, ubuncinci kunye nolwazi olwahlukileyo. Loo mfazi uhlala efuna ukunqoba aze abambe eceleni kwakhe, akaze athathwe, kwaye ukuphelelwa ngumntwana kuye akunakwenzeka. Ngamanye amaxesha unokuba ngumlenze, ngamanye amaxesha ulula, ngamanye amaxesha intatheli - ehlala ehlukileyo, kwaye ukusuka kuloo ndlela ikhangeleka kwaye ikhangele. Abasetyhini kufuneka bakhumbule ukuba ukungafihli ekukhulumisaneni nendoda ekupheleni akusoloko kulungile. Naliphi na umntu, nokuba yinto echanekileyo kunye epheleleyo, inqabileyo phakathi komnqweno wokuphumelela umntu kunye nesidingo somlingani osisigxina. Yiyo le mpikiswano kwaye ujabulele i-razluchnitsy, ngoko kutheni ungathathi ingqalelo le mzuzwana wengqondo kwaye ufunde ukusetyenziswa xa uthetha nomyeni othandekayo umfazi wakhe osemthethweni?
Bafazi abathandekayo, zama ukugcina umtshato wenu, ukuzisa kuyo izinto ezinokumnandi kunye nemizwa emnandi. Kule meko, amadoda akho akayi kuhamba "ashiye", kodwa aya kuxabisa ngokwenene into ayenayo. Isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo, ihlaya elihle, ukuvuma kunye nokutshintsha indima kunokulula ukukhupha isiphango kwisiglasi samanzi-ukuxabana kweentsapho ezibonakalayo kwiintsapho, kubonakala ngathi zivela ekuqaleni.
Kwaye ukuba kwenzeka ntoni - nangona zonke izinto zakho (utshintsho lwezithombe, izitya ezinoncoko, iingxoxo ezithandanayo kunye nodlova obundlobongela), wanquma ukushiya, ungayidlisi le meko. Madoda, banjengabantwana, badlala ithoyilo entsha, thelekisa kunye nomdala, kwaye ubuyele kumntu owaba ngcono. Kodwa ngaba "ukutshitshiswa kothando lokwenene" kuxabisa iinyembezi zakho, izibilini kwaye uziphindaphinda ube ngumfanekiso ophefumlelweyo kunye ongabonakaliyo wephupha elingenakwenzeka? Mhlawumbi indoda yakho ingekavuthi kwaye ayizange ifunde ukuqonda isimo sakho sengqondo kunye namandla asebenzayo okomoya?